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Indian wedding problem- I was happy with the guy that my parents had seen for me but now they say our horoscopes don't match!

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Question - (11 July 2017) 7 Answers - (Newest, 12 July 2017)
A female India age 36-40, anonymous writes:

Hi I met a guy arranged by my parents for matrimony.i ended up liking him a lot....everything was going on smoothly n we were about to plan our wedding but now my parents say that we can't go ahead because the horoscopes do not match and the astrologer predicted some nasty things about the guy.i hv never felt anything like that since the time I have been talking to him..parents are asking me to stop communication with him...I really like him...I am in a dilemma....what shall I do?

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (12 July 2017):

You have to convince your parents or atleast win one of them to your side and if you have brothers and sisters relatives and friends they can help to convince the others about the falseness of astrology. You simply have a lot of convincing and perseverance to do if you really want to marry the guy.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (11 July 2017):

Horoscopes don't determine our destiny. It's mythical nonsense; but your parents are arranging the marriage, so they'll interfere no matter what you do. If they don't sanction the marriage there are two options.

You can make your own decision and marry according to your own feelings. It will contradict their authority and they will show their displeasure. You have to be strong to defy their beliefs and they will either accept it, or use it as an a reason to turn their backs. Love often will overrule and they will honor your decision. Depending on how strict they are.

The other option is to honor their wishes. You don't really know him that well and you haven't really had enough time to establish any real feelings anyway. Compromise. Allow them another chance; but let them know that's it. You will make your own decision from here on.

They'll tug the purse-strings and bully you; but you're in your 30's, and it's about time you grow-up. You live in modern times and you can't let them rule your life indefinitely. They can just as easily stick you with a horrible husband.

It's time to usher your parents into a new century.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (11 July 2017):

There is absolutely no science behind astrology so don't live in fear that something awful will happen just because your star signs aren't aligned. I think that if you are going to spend the rest of your life with someone that decision should be based in a large part on love and not just on your parents wishes. You should take the time to get to know your future husband well before you decide to go ahead and marry him.

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A male reader, olderthandirt  +, writes (11 July 2017):

olderthandirt agony auntAsk the "astrologer" Seems to me from your anonymous post you place a lot of confidence in some star gazing expert telling you what the future holds so ask the stars what to do the rest of don't have the benefit of know what the future holds. I wish I could help with advice but my cynical nature will not let me challenge the ultimate knowledge of the one who interprets the various alignments of planets and stars. Not only cynical but sarcastic.

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (11 July 2017):

as a white guy married to an amazing indain girl i know what you are going thought things it took a lot for her family to come around to the idea that we where a couple but finaly things where going well and we started wedding plans full tradishinal indain wedding and they started on are horoscops and they did not match and tired to stop the wedding, but i told they that alought i respect their customs and culture but i love your daughter and nothing will stop me marrying her.

i know it can be hard to against 1000s of years of faith and culture but sit down with you family and exsplain that you love him and still wish to marry. it will be hard but folllow your heart. good luck

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A male reader, Phil052 United Kingdom +, writes (11 July 2017):

Phil052 agony auntThis sounds like some sort of joke. A wedding would be called off because of astrology? This makes no sense to me at all. I would tell your parents how much you love him and don't think the wedding should be called off due to the views of an astrologer! Only you can make them understand. I hope you can get through to them!

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A male reader, Denizen United Kingdom +, writes (11 July 2017):

Denizen agony auntYou are an adult, so in 2017 you can decide for yourself. If you family threaten to disinherit you then that might complicate your decision, particularly as it was they who chose him in the first place.

I think for you the important thing is to decide whether you are going to be a modern woman and make your own decisions but accept the responsibilities that come with it, or are you going to accept the traditional role and let your parents make your choices?

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