PNOK? What does that mean? He's in the army and wants me to be his PNOK? Is he being genuine?
Q. I met an army man in the dating site and now he's and Afghanistan and now we're talking for more then 2-1/2 months I like him so much and love him, and this's my first time a date someone from the Army, and also he told me that will be returned...
A. 3 January 2013: Hi
Read about it here
http://www.military.com/benefits/survivor-benefits/survivor-benefits-terms-and-definitions.html... (read in full...)
PNOK? What does that mean? He's in the army and wants me to be his PNOK? Is he being genuine?
Q. I met an army man in the dating site and now he's and Afghanistan and now we're talking for more then 2-1/2 months I like him so much and love him, and this's my first time a date someone from the Army, and also he told me that will be returned...
A. 3 January 2013: Hi
It means Primary Next Of Kin. In other words if anything should happen to him it would be you the army contacts,his next of kin.
You don't send money. ... (read in full...)
Do birthdays decrease in importance as we age?
Q. Dear aunt and uncles Do birthdays decrease on importance as we age? I ask because my mother who is 55 will have her birthday on the middle of January. I have to move to a new city due to work and school, and I have to be on the new city on t...
A. 3 January 2013: Hi
Go do what you have to do, just remember to phone her in the morning or evening. You have bought a gift, can send a card. Then maybe cook her a meal or take her for one when your next home.... (read in full...)
Boyfriend has not treated me right since he discovered I had a one night stand before dating him. Do I end things?
Q. My boyfriend and I have been together for a few years and we are getting married soon. At the beginning, he was really sweet, caring and understanding. The kind of guy that I have always wished for. However, one day, I told him that I had an one ...
A. 3 January 2013: Hi
I really don't get why people feel the need to confess these things to their partners.Your past is just that,your past.
He clearly cannot handle this and until you reach some sort of common ground I would hold off on marrying him.If ... (read in full...)
His mother is terminally ill, what is the right thing for me to do?
Q. I started dating a guy at the beginning of November 2012. We hit it off right off the bat, and we both agreed that it felt like we have known each other forever. Holidays were coming up and so was his mothers lung cancer progression. He started to ...
A. 2 January 2013: Hi
No don't go to the wake, you barely know this man and he will not only be distraught but will have his family and close friends of his mothers there for suppport.
Sending the card was good. Just send a small bunch of flowers to the funeral w... (read in full...)
How do I know he's into me?
Q. Hi everyone i am a single mum to a daughter who is 4 i have been single ever since i often get told i am good looking but have been single so long my confidence has gone there is a man i like but as i am a bit rusty what are some signs that he is ...
A. 2 January 2013: Hi
Maybe you should show HIM your interested using body language,eye contact,touch his arm when talking to him etc. Then he can respond, as your showing you like him?
Don't lose confidence because its been so long since dating.Don't jus... (read in full...)
I am attractive to men so why don't they ever approach me?
Q. Please don't take this in a wrong way and call me conceited and superficial,I'm putting the problem as it is.. I am 23 year old woman, and by god's grace I have the charm, personality, the beauty.. I can walk into a room and have men look at me, ...
A. 2 January 2013: Hi
Its hard to say with so little information why men don't approach you,it could be any number of things.
You are clearly 'unapproachable' for some reason though.Perhaps they think you have a boyfriend already,or you appear aloof,or they th... (read in full...)
What alternative actions would help? Will my tough love response help my daughter recognise the problems she appears not to see?
Q. I am a 62 year old semi retired man living in a Mediterranean island. My daughter of 35 lives in Ireland with her partner. They have a daughter of 2 years. Both are unemployed and living on the dole. I have so far supported my daughter to ...
A. 2 January 2013: hi
I don't know why you have decided to stop the financial support now, I hope you warned your daughter that you have and talked to her about why, so she doesn't feel abandoned so to speak.
It is very difficult to find work at the moment so I ... (read in full...)
Can a relationship work when age, tastes and especially nationality are so different and the language between you both is limited?
Q. I have a thing for my work mate and things have happened between us in the past, a kiss here and there, flirting ect. But we have a lot of differences between us, he is almost 28 and I'm just 22, things like our music taste is completely differen...
A. 2 January 2013: Hi
The age difference is nothing, the fact he is Polish isn't a problem either nor is it uncommon in the UK to date one nowadays.His english can improve and the fact he can speak 2 languages means he is pretty intelligent.You could always learn to... (read in full...)
His mother is terminally ill, what is the right thing for me to do?
Q. I started dating a guy at the beginning of November 2012. We hit it off right off the bat, and we both agreed that it felt like we have known each other forever. Holidays were coming up and so was his mothers lung cancer progression. He started to ...
A. 2 January 2013: Hi
I would simply send him a small 'Thinking of You' card to show you care.Its not as intrusive as calling him yet conveys a simple message.
Then leave him be.
Losing his mum,watching her die from cancer is so awful for him he just needs sp... (read in full...)
How can I get through to my wife?
Q. How can I get through to my wife ? For 6 or 7 years now I've been trying to get her to talk to me and discuss many things including our virtually non existent sex life. She's refused. She seems to want to live in some odd scenario which is more like ...
A. 2 January 2013: Hi
Sounds to me like you have done everything you can to resolve this situation. If she is refusing to discuss anything and all you have tried has failed then theres not alot more you can do.
I don't think its fair to withold sex, nor to refu... (read in full...)
My ex said we can get back together if things don't work out with her current boyfriend, but I can't handle the thought of her giving her virginity to someone else.
Q. The relationship with my ex-girlfriend is a long and complicated one so I’ll try to explain it as clearly and concise as possible. (The names used are not the real names of people involved) We first started dating during our sophomore year o...
A. 31 December 2012: Hi
You need to MAN UP and MOVE ON.
How dare she treat you like this, your a human with a heart and feelings and she is taking full advantage of you and your love for her.Makes me so angry!
Trust me, we are all a fool for somebody and they... (read in full...)
My boyfriend never wants to socialise with my friends. Is he being selfish and want can I do about this?
Q. Ok my boyfriend of 3 years never wants to do anything with my group of friends, it always has to be his. For example tonight, we were invited to a NYE party with my friends weeks ago but he has been hesitating about going to it. I have asked hi...
A. 31 December 2012: Hi
You should have just told him you were going to your friends party and would see him next year.At least you would have had a good time
Theres no law saying you should spend NYE together.
He's not going to change now so if its a dealbrea... (read in full...)
My boyfriend likes much younger women and I'm worried about him leaving me for someone younger than me
Q. I have two problems which are really causing me a lot of stress. You see, I am a 22 years old and looking to get married. I've lived in 4 countries, speak multiple languages, don't drink/smoke/go clubbing, and am almost finished with university. I ...
A. 31 December 2012: Hi
If you can, would you come back on and update on your situation? Take Abellas advice re the American Embassy OR take the risk and marry him.
Your choice.
I wish you luck x... (read in full...)
About to get married, but am I am settling? We're more best friends and I love him but not "in love".
Q. I have been in a relationship for the last 12 years. My fiancé and I have one child together. My fiancé has recently asked me to marry him and I said yes because I feel like that we should be married and thats what the next step is. For a long tim...
A. 31 December 2012: Hi
Can you imagine your life without him in it? Ask yourself how you would feel if he wasn't around.
Its natural to have doubts before a wedding,everyone does but it is not fair to marry a man you don't love as the future will only bring heart... (read in full...)
Should I respond to ex's new GF's message?
Q. I was in a long distance relationship a few years ago which lasted two years. Now we're just friends, although we don't keep in touch, we do meet up whenever we happen to be in one another's cities. Recently, his current girlfriend for about a year ...
A. 31 December 2012: Hi
Hmm very suspicious, she has probably already asked him questions and is now asking you so she can verify his answers.
You don't need to answer her at all and if you do it could open a can of worms.I would say ignore her.... (read in full...)
My boyfriend likes much younger women and I'm worried about him leaving me for someone younger than me
Q. I have two problems which are really causing me a lot of stress. You see, I am a 22 years old and looking to get married. I've lived in 4 countries, speak multiple languages, don't drink/smoke/go clubbing, and am almost finished with university. I ...
A. 31 December 2012: Hi
Any man that beats a woman till she bleeds and was involved in human trafficing,to name but two faults, is dangerous.
Your not in a movie,which is what your life sounds like, this is real life and it scares me to think what could happen if ... (read in full...)
I want to date. But I'm also carer for my mother and sister. How have other carers been able to juggle studies, caring and me-time or even a relationship?
Q. I hate starting these off but basically I'm 17, I have only ever had 1 boyfriend and that's because I'm a carer for my mum and sister, my mum has COPD and my sister has cerebal palsy. Over the past few weeks I've started developing a crush on this ...
A. 31 December 2012: Hi
Well good luck, it may take time to get things organised but once you've seen your GP, asked about Respite and some help with the caring, the ball is rolling,time to be firm with everyone for your own sake. x... (read in full...)
Is the lesson from all this that he'll attempt to make further conversation if this is going anywhere?
Q. Hi, I would appreciate someone's advice on this. I work in an office and sometimes the pressure can get quite intense. There's a guy who works in another department who I've seen looking at me a few times here and there. I find him very attract...
A. 30 December 2012: Hi
ALSO
If your job is reducing you to tears you should consider looking for one with less pressure on you or talk to your HR department about reducing your workload.Nobody should be that upset over work
The man in question has to look out... (read in full...)
I feel like a failure for still being in the family home
Q. I am 27 and still living with my parents. I moved back after uni and stayed longer while me and my boyfriend were saving up to buy a place of our own, which was fine with me and them, but my boyfriend and I have just split up and now I don't know ...
A. 30 December 2012: Hi
If your employed and still saving to buy a house then why leave when you don't have to. As you are totally against renting a place then you have given yourself no choice BUT to stay put till you can buy. That's your plan and your lucky but by n... (read in full...)
Am I reading the signs all wrong?
Q. He is making me mad. I think he likes me, i have been working with him for a few months. Alot of people think he is grumpy because he doesn't get involved, very task centred guy. But with me: He throws things at me, He protects me- be it from ...
A. 30 December 2012: Hi
I think your completely overthinking the whole scenario. There are no 'signs' really, he is just a workmate, a friendly one.
He is also living in the same house as his wife, so he IS married and living with her,not living apart and divorc... (read in full...)
How do I break up with my younger girlfriend?
Q. Hi I've been seeing a much younger girl now for around six months. I should have listened to everyone who said "just have fun, don't get serious, it will never work"...well now we've done the Christmas thing, her presents to me were ridiculous,...
A. 30 December 2012: Hi
You have just woken up and smelled the coffee so don't be too hard on yourself. The honeymoon period is over.
Ring her today/tonight and ask her not to come down, tell her you've got that stomach virus,nobody wants to catch that.
Then,o... (read in full...)
I want to date. But I'm also carer for my mother and sister. How have other carers been able to juggle studies, caring and me-time or even a relationship?
Q. I hate starting these off but basically I'm 17, I have only ever had 1 boyfriend and that's because I'm a carer for my mum and sister, my mum has COPD and my sister has cerebal palsy. Over the past few weeks I've started developing a crush on this ...
A. 30 December 2012: Hi
I agree with Abella's excellent answer, you need to sort out help and get some respite organised.
Contact your GP asap and ask to get Social Services and anyone else possible to help you.You need to explain that your getting depressed that y... (read in full...)
Why can't my family and friends mind their own business about my dating life? How should I respond?
Q. Dear Cupid, it's has been nine years since I have been in a relationship and now people who I know want me to return to the relationship scene . I feel like I am not ready yet I want to do me right now I feel if I go back to being with somebody...
A. 30 December 2012: Hi
I think the more we are hurt and the longer we stay single,the harder it is to let somebody in. We build a comfort zone to protect us.
It IS your business but the people who care about you just want to see you happy,they aren't doing it ... (read in full...)
Is the lesson from all this that he'll attempt to make further conversation if this is going anywhere?
Q. Hi, I would appreciate someone's advice on this. I work in an office and sometimes the pressure can get quite intense. There's a guy who works in another department who I've seen looking at me a few times here and there. I find him very attract...
A. 29 December 2012: Hi
He sounds nice, but he's also your senior so finding you upset would alert him you have problems at work, and on a professional level he would want to help.Get to the root of it all.I wouldn't be surprised if he hasn't spoken to your superior... (read in full...)
Feeling overshadowed by this new girl
Q. Hi guys, I hope someone out there can help me out as I am feeling pretty stuck on this situation. I have met a lovely guy recently who I really feel I can connect with as we seem to get on so well like a house on fire and we share common interest...
A. 29 December 2012: Hi
I think your too mature for all of them to be honest, if they can pass the time competing re farts,burps and hitting each other in the private area and swearing. They sound like Junior School kids not 18-20 odds.Thats not fun its just immature... (read in full...)
How can I prevent the guy friend always being the tag-along friend whenever we plan to go out or do anything? What can I do?
Q. Hi guys, I hope somebody can help me with a small problem, its short and simple really but the solution is more difficult. I have recently met a beautiful man, who I have started to like, not a lot but want to just keep hanging out etc and see what...
A. 29 December 2012: Hi
Does the new guy know your attracted to him,want to get to know him on that level?
Could be they both think of you as just a mate at the moment. Try asking new man out,buy 2 tickets for something and ask just him along.
Or simply tell ... (read in full...)
Even after 3 years together it would be my first choice to go home to my own bed without my B/f. Does this mean things are not right with us and deep down I know?
Q. Me and my boyfriend have been having problems because I never want to stay at his house, but I don't know why I don't... I love him a lot, although we have had lots of problems along the way mainly because I feel like I'm last on his priority list a ...
A. 29 December 2012: Hi
I don't find it strange as I like to go home too, always have - WHEN I am not 100% into the guy or feel the relationship isn't going right. I also prefer it if they leave mine early in the morning too so I don't get caught up in having to spend... (read in full...)
Why does this guy block me after he acts like he likes me?
Q. Why does this guy keep blocking me even after we made up? He is a guy I am very interested in and wanted to befriend with. Last year, he invited me to be his friend on facebook, which I immediately accepted. After a few months, we tried to flirt ...
A. 29 December 2012: Hi
The guy has 'blocked' you on facebook and looks or walks away if you make a move toward him in public.
He is definately not interested in you its very clear, so remove him from your facebook and forget him.
The reason he was polite and... (read in full...)
Is pursuing a masters degree with a baby realistic?
Q. Hi Everyone! I'm looking to hear from people (especially women) that have raised a family while pursuing their post-secondary education. I'm currently 25 years old and a full-time university student working toward two degrees (simultaneously)...
A. 27 December 2012: Hi
Theres nothing wrong with your plan in theory and I would imagine you would be a pretty unhappy mum if you weren't working towards a career via study.
So long as you have good support from your husband,especially during the 2am feed period ... (read in full...)
I want a relationship with trust and honesty!
Q. I have caught my boyfriend on dating sites 5 times this year. He has promised to stop doing it from now on. He said that all the other times too. I find all i do lately is look for evidence of him doing it again. Just like i have done in the past ...
A. 27 December 2012: Hi
Oh he's got it made hasn't he, a licence to do as he wants with regard to dating sites.While you forgive and never forget,lose sleep,check up on him etc..
Trust and honesty isn't his style.Get rid and find a man who knows how to treat a w... (read in full...)
He says he doesn't know if we can be more than FWB!
Q. For about a few weeks now, ive had sexual relations with a guy i work with. He is the most attractive guy ive ever been with, and has a beautiful personality. Im completely taken by him, i love his smile, his eyes, his hugs, etc...i wake up excited ...
A. 23 December 2012: Hi
I would back off, withold the sex and see what happens. If you get in any deeper emotionally you will only get hurt.
So long as he is getting NSA sex he will be happy to settle for that as it requires no commitment, he will tell you anythin... (read in full...)
Should I wait around or find someone else?
Q. Not really sure where to start. I am deeply in love with a man who does love me too. But there are complications... He has a son by an ex (who is Batsh-t crazy) theyve been apart three years. He is trying to win back custody and has major drama go...
A. 23 December 2012: Hi
I know a man who has just been through a long custody battle and believe me it was his focus in life and not alot else mattered.He may think your great but that won't matter just now.His life is complicated his emotions shred.
I think it's ... (read in full...)
My ex wants to marry me, but I now have a child with another man
Q. I am a fe male of 22 years old.I dated my ex for about 7 years and during that period of seven years we have been breaking up and we were managing resolve our issues,2 years back i met this other guy which i dated for three years and now we have a ...
A. 22 December 2012: Hi
Your only 22 and have been dating since you were 12yrs old. You have 2 men to pick from now.One abuses you the other is an Ex - which didn't work out.
You love your Ex, not the abusive baby dad,so if your Ex accepts your son then he has to b... (read in full...)
My guy is going bald - HELP!!!
Q. My guy is going bald!!!!!! I dont want to leave him, but he looks too elder than me! What do I do? He is ready to do anything if I have the solution..Pls help me! He is just 25! and Am 23 !! :-( :-( Am so sad abt his baldness..Am trying to support ...
A. 22 December 2012: Hi
Your poor boyfriend, I hope you were alot more tactful when you spoke to him. He can't help going bald if its hereditary - has he had it checked with the doctor?
Ime a bald man fan but each to their own. Just hope he shows more understandi... (read in full...)
He doesn't want to get married anymore and he says he meant his proposal "at the time"
Q. I will try and keep this brief...... My boyfriend ask me to marry him over a year ago, however whenever i try to talk about the wedding he says that he doesn't want to get married and he meant the proposal " at the time"!! He has met all my...
A. 21 December 2012: Hi
He has changed his mind, he probably did mean it a year ago and now he doesn't want that future with you.He has been honest.
You haven't even met his family which would be all part of the relationship going forward.I don't know how long yo... (read in full...)
I want to leave my cheating husband, but need to straighten out some financial matters first. How can I cope with this in the mean time?
Q. I am married with 3 children. The youngest is 9 months old and the oldest is 3 1/2. My husband is contacting women on Craigslist and emailing them with the intent of having sex with them while he is at work. He has sent pictures of his genitals and ...
A. 20 December 2012: Hi
He needs to leave the house, you and the children need a home, he has to pay for it.Also empty the joint account if theres anything in it
He seems to think you need him around so will tolerate this behaviour.
See a lawyer ASAP,take all t... (read in full...)
I'm trying my best to be a good mother but the kids father is so immature and hurting the kids, still out partying every weekend! What more can I do?
Q. Hello Im having problems with my kids dad we have two and another on the way. I am confused on what to say to him and how to act towards him because sometimes i just feel like shutting him out of my life, hes so immature he still likes to have fun...
A. 20 December 2012: Hi
You say he only comes round when he is lonely - does that mean you don't live together? But your pregnant, a 3rd child on the way?
You have left it a bit late to set bounderies in this relationship if thats the case.He knows he can do as he ... (read in full...)
How do I cope with these feelings of hurt, jealousy, rejection, and anger?
Q. Currently separated for about 5 months, not hoping to reconcile, but there are still some feelings there (particularly because we have a young child and I'm hurting worse now that my child will not grow up with both parents). Husband flew to hi...
A. 20 December 2012: Hi
Focus on having the best holiday ever with your child and family too if they are around.
Forget him and what he is up to because your not together anymore, don't let these feelings spoil your holiday.You don't know who you may meet or end ... (read in full...)
Please help me, clliquey work colleagues and I'm older, help?!
Q. Whats the best way to work with cliquey work colleagues? Hospital environment, not an office.. Most (not all) younger and will say hi but chit chat/laugh etc with each other and almost ignore you? You try to talk to them, but they often the...
A. 20 December 2012: Hi
Ok so the culture there appears to be for younger employees, in your area anyway.
Are there others in another Dept you are friends with,if so it wouldn't matter if your not in their clique as long as all are professional ?
Have a chat ... (read in full...)
Sly nasty Rude obnoxious co-worker who is friends with boss at the top. What's the best way to endure and survive this sneaky bully?
Q. Please, please give me some advice as I'm at the end of my tether!! Last year at work I had the misfortune of sitting next to a really rude, snappy and belittling colleague.. At first we got on ok but as the months went past her attitude towards...
A. 20 December 2012: Hi
Check your contract and/or Employees Handbook to see their policy and procedures for bullying,there has to be one,you have already made one complaint.
Also if you can, get statements from the others who have been bullied by her.She has had ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend was angry that I was ill and didn't want sex so he left late and left my door unlocked all night!
Q. Dear Cupid, I've been in an exclusive relationship for over 2 1/2 years we are both middle aged, and live in our separate homes, but we spend almost every night together. Last night my boyfriend comes over later than normal because he had a...
A. 20 December 2012: Hi
He was very unreasonable, he wanted sex and when he didn't get it, stormed out.
What do you normally do when you see each other, do you go out together in the evenings ever, do you spend weekends doing normal stuff in the day, shopping or... (read in full...)
Please help me, clliquey work colleagues and I'm older, help?!
Q. Whats the best way to work with cliquey work colleagues? Hospital environment, not an office.. Most (not all) younger and will say hi but chit chat/laugh etc with each other and almost ignore you? You try to talk to them, but they often the...
A. 20 December 2012: Hi
You don't say how long you have been working with them, it takes time to be accepted,whatever the age gap. The only thing by the sounds of it,you have in common, is the job so thats what a chat would be about.
Why TRY to fit in with them,jus... (read in full...)
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