A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:Currently separated for about 5 months, not hoping to reconcile, but there are still some feelings there (particularly because we have a young child and I'm hurting worse now that my child will not grow up with both parents).Husband flew to his hometown for the holidays today and it makes me sick to think about him getting back together with an old flame. I don't know for sure that he will do this, but I have a strong feeling.I know eventually both of us will have new relationships, but I would rather him have an entirely new person altogether, and not one he was with prior to our marriage-would make me feel like I never mattered at all, and that he had thought of her the whole time and married me only because she wasn't available.Is there anything I can do to try to get over these feelings?
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male
reader, Sageoldguy1465 +, writes (20 December 2012):
 It's never fun to have a separation/breakup/divorce happening during "the holidays"... when life is "supposed to be" all fun-and-games.... BUT, that's what life gives us, sometimes....
You write: "Is there anything I can do to try to get over these feelings?"
Probably not. SOOOOOoooo, instead of pining over those feelings, try to find other thoughts to occupy your mind...
Focus on yourself... and/or your child.... AND, on things that YOU'D like to do in YOUR life, in the future....
Consider: With your breakup, you are STARTING on a new phase of your life. Make it the BEST it can be,... for YOU!!!!!
Good luck...
A
female
reader, oldbag  +, writes (20 December 2012):
 Hi
Focus on having the best holiday ever with your child and family too if they are around.
Forget him and what he is up to because your not together anymore, don't let these feelings spoil your holiday.You don't know who you may meet or end up with yet, its all part of moving on.
This is your first since breaking up so it's going to be hard.However sounds like its what you both want so enjoy the freedom.
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