I feel I've lost so much. How can I get my life back on track after breaking up? Life's really tough for me right now.
Q. Please ladies explain this to me. I'm on my own for the first time in my life and I'm 36 now. Two long term relationships, 2 children and I'm ashamed to say with both women. The first I thought was love. The second I walked out on in the mi...
A. 4 January 2013: Hi
I know somebody, a couple of years older than you, who lost everything he loved because he did as he wanted,always got the girl he was after.He was left devastated.He has grown up alot since,acknowledged his mistakes.Come to terms with it being... (read in full...)
I think he stole my bracelet
Q. Over a year ago, I found my favorite bracelet, a diamond cuff bracelet missing. It was hidden in the side pocket of my suitcase, which was in my bedroom. I keep my bedroom locked when I'm not there. My boyfriend moved in with me about a month ...
A. 28 November 2012: Hi
Well you have a gut feeling so you are going with it.As he had access to your room then he is suspect. The fact he didn't wait with you at the hospital doesn't say much for his caring side either, from what you said he just left you there,th... (read in full...)
Not for revenge but for my own pleasure I'm thinking of cheating, nothing serious just a one night thing. Opinions please!
Q. My partner and I have been together for 5 years up until recently we were engaged, have 2 children and were trying for a 3rd. During this time he has cheated on me twice that I know of. The first was for the first 12 months we were together...
A. 20 November 2012: Hi
I think you would be crazy to do it. Personally I would have kicked him out after his 5 minute session in a toilet with some random girl.Being drunk is not an excuse.
I would also be grateful I wasn't expecting a third baby with him. I don'... (read in full...)
How do I get read of this "friends with benefits"?
Q. Hi! Ok I know this is gone sounds trivial but I need help with it!! I met this guy a while back we went for a few drinks and hit it off , I explained to him that I was not looking for anything serious and that what I needed at the moment was pure...
A. 19 November 2012: Hi
continue to ignore him OR teach him your way to have sex... (read in full...)
Life has been hard...what should I do now?
Q. So, life isn't great. I need some advice on what steps to take in life. I'll make it as short as I can. I'm a 17 year old female and I am from the UK. So, when I was born my mam and dad where together but not married. My mam had anoth...
A. 19 November 2012: Hello love
I cant imagine how you coped to be honest.I dont know why a counsellor cant/wont help, you really need to offload this lot,see your GP and ask that they refer you,losing your mum is hard to deal with on its own never mind the other st... (read in full...)
Will my cheating ex ever look back and regret her actions?
Q. Having recently come out of a five year relationship where I have just found out she lied and deceived me from day one, where I have just learned she was seeing others behind my back; I was wondering if there will ever come a time when she will look ...
A. 19 November 2012: Hi
I would hope so, either that or she has a very lonely life ahead.If she continues to think its ok to treat people with such utter disregard for their feelings.
It takes 2 to cheat and she may just get used by the men who are willing for the ... (read in full...)
He asked for my number but hasn't called!
Q. Friday night, as I was leaving the bar, a cute guy I had DEFINITELY noticed, who had introduced himself to me that night (but we were never really able to have a conversation), hurried over and tapped on my driver's side window. He said he something ...
A. 19 November 2012: Hi
I agree totally with Dorothy Dix.. be patient... (read in full...)
Am I being manipulated by my live in boyfriend?
Q. I met this guy through my ex n we were seeing one another and things were going good. My kids adored him n he always had time of day for my kids....the moment i moved in he stopped sleeping in the same bed had nothing to do with my kids n we have ...
A. 19 November 2012: Hi
Hes laughing, he has a full-time housekeeper and no relationship,he is still in effect single.Its a bizarre and rotten situation for you and the children.
Do you pay rent or towards the bills, whats the financial arrangement?... (read in full...)
My room mate doesn't understand why I don't want her to walk around naked in front of my boyfriend
Q. I asked a question awhile back, and now things have progressed and I need HELP! This is the link to my first question... http://www.dearcupid.org/question/our-female-room-mate-who-has-a-crush.html (RECAP: My female roommate has, on multipl...
A. 19 November 2012: Hi
I suggest you AND your boyfriend together, sit her down and tell her its unacceptable and as she cant live by the 'no naked' rules, you are now lookig for a new lodger.If you give her 4-8 weeks notice it gives you time to find somebody else.Sta... (read in full...)
I think he stole my bracelet
Q. Over a year ago, I found my favorite bracelet, a diamond cuff bracelet missing. It was hidden in the side pocket of my suitcase, which was in my bedroom. I keep my bedroom locked when I'm not there. My boyfriend moved in with me about a month ...
A. 18 November 2012: Hi
Somebody would have had to ransack your room to find it unless you told them where you had hidden it.Why would they even look in the side pocket of a suitcase - they surely wouldn't *expect* a valuable bit of jewellry to be there.
I think... (read in full...)
He went from wanting to date me to not wanting me at all in just a few days??
Q. I am just so confused at the moment. I met this guy a few weeks ago while at an event I was working at and he was attending. We got talking and at the end he gave me his phone number as in his words if I was interested I could contact him and he ...
A. 18 November 2012: Hi
I think he's far from open honest and upfront.His ending of the relationship shows that,plus his marriage and the other relationship ending badly.
Maybe he hoped him not wanting children would deter you from wanting to date and when it didn... (read in full...)
Am I wrong for not wanting to date men with financial problems? My parents say I'll never find anyone!
Q. I m being told for the past few years that I my attitude is wrong toward men and their financial situation. What do you think after I tell you my story? I m a professional woman with a good job that let's me have. Comfortable life with a ni...
A. 18 November 2012: Hi
Probably yes somewhere. When men reach your age though they will more than likely have been divorced and therefore have the payments that come with that.In a way they are facing and paying for their responsiblities so thats a good quality.... (read in full...)
Is this LDR viable? He assures me he loves and adores me. I'm having second thoughts.
Q. I met online in January a doctor in Mexico and we became friends over email, he is intelligent and interesting and was Good company. I have been going through many very difficult and unusual family Challenges and I wanted to get away for a little...
A. 18 November 2012: Hi
He isnt inexperienced in relationships he was in one for 21 years all be it she was married.
He doesn't sound like a viable partner though, his history shows that.Plus the fact he is on the internet looking for a partner and happy to settle ... (read in full...)
Will I make a fool of my self if I try to fix this relationship? Or should I just walk away?
Q. my ex and current guy i was dating became good friends. i have done something so terrible. i recently came out of a long relationship with my ex and fell in love with someone else. he was a really nice guy he really really was in love with me. he ...
A. 18 November 2012: Hi
I wouldn't try to fix it, he responded to your message to say he will in effect,be a friend. Leave it now and let him come to you if he wants to.
He probably felt like you were still hung up on your Ex and definately weren't over the end of ... (read in full...)
How can I make him commit to me?
Q. I am emotionally drained. I love someone who I have a child with. We have a 27year old on and off love affair. He always says his life is to complicated to commite to anyone. But continues to want to spend time with me. I'm not fulfill with ...
A. 18 November 2012: Hi
You have had a 27 year affair during which time he married somebody else then divorced,then settled with another and had children.
I think that shows blatantly he does not want to commit to you,if he did he would have married you year... (read in full...)
I feel I've lost so much. How can I get my life back on track after breaking up? Life's really tough for me right now.
Q. Please ladies explain this to me. I'm on my own for the first time in my life and I'm 36 now. Two long term relationships, 2 children and I'm ashamed to say with both women. The first I thought was love. The second I walked out on in the mi...
A. 17 November 2012: Hi
'some silly mistakes I made just flirting thru emails texts and so on'
Thats not a silly mistake thats disrespecting your 'soul mate' thats in effect cheating.You broke the trust and for what? You do not do that to people you love.She mus... (read in full...)
Why do men distance themselves when they are so into you?
Q. Hi all, My question is about why men distance themselves when they are so into you? I know for sure he likes me so much, but always keeps a guard up with me. He is shy and talks and acts nervous around me. He is 39 so not a boy. By now he should ...
A. 17 November 2012: Hi
He's either not into you,therefore keeping his distance so you don't get the wrong idea.
OR
He's extremely shy. Why not ask him to go for a drink or meal, lunch would be best,then its less datey if he IS shy.... (read in full...)
Why does my girlfriend keep checking my phone?
Q. Me and my girlfriend have been dating for 7 months now and she keeps going through my phone constantly without asking even though she never finds anything on there as there isn't anything 'dodgy' going on. Can someone please advise me on why she is ...
A. 17 November 2012: Hi
She's either very insecure or extremely nosey.Does she say anything to you as to why she does it or make a comment afterwards?
I would just ask her why she does it and tell her you would prefer her not to.She either learns to trust you or ... (read in full...)
I found email my b/f wrote to his ex before we met and now I can't believe anything he has ever told me!
Q. I've been in a relationship with my fiance for 3 years now and we have a 14 month old child together. When we met he'd not long come out of a relationship and told me he'd been with the girl for a couple of years and she'd manipulated him into ...
A. 16 November 2012: Hi
You have created this problem by snooping into his emails. You didn't think he was cheating and you trusted him,so why do it?
I wouldn't like to think anyone would do it to me, we all have a past, I have told more than one man I loved them... (read in full...)
My boyfriend says I keep him on the straight and narrow. When I'm not around he's out drinking with friends
Q. My boyfriend is lovely to hang out with, but if he's not with me, he just goes into town and spends the evening drinking. Yesterday I was with him and he was saying he was still poorly so didn't want to do much. But he was just hungover from two ...
A. 16 November 2012: Hi
Well for a start I don't know how he can even afford to drink,unemployment benefit is around £67 pounds a week.
I am sure he could find better ways to spend his time,volunteering for a start. Job searching take alot of time up too.
I do... (read in full...)
I've only ever had sex with prostitutes. Should I continue or try having a relationship? And should I keep my past secret?
Q. Hello, I have been using prostitutes for about 4 years. I lost my virginity to a prostitute and ever since I only had sex with "working girls". The reason I do this is that it is so much simpler than picking-up women and far more straight...
A. 15 November 2012: Hi
I would keep it a secret if I was you, they will think your a male slut otherwise, plus paying for sex,even once, never sounds good.
I would get yourself tested too before you embark on any relationship.... (read in full...)
GIrls: Do you like hairy guys?
Q. Hi This question is for mostly for girls. Do you find attractive "hairy men"(hope you understand), who has hair in chest,back and legs,or maybe you will dump them.Also do you think guys with classic beard are attractive, even I think this depen...
A. 15 November 2012: Hi
Doesn't bother me either way really, a trimmed beard is ok too.
Friend of mine hated hairy chests so she used to wax her fellas, he didn't seem to mind as he married her.... (read in full...)
Why is my boyfriend changing his mind so frequently?
Q. Why do some men change thier minds all time about what they want? My bf and I started living together again after splitting up for 9 mths. He hated living on his own and wanted to be family again with me and our 2 kids. He came back and had all ...
A. 15 November 2012: Hi
It seems you dance to his tune,I know it's hard when you have 2 children together,want it to work,but you need to make the rules here.
If he wants to go back to his flat when its free,then ask him to go now, to somebody elses home.Why l... (read in full...)
Why do involved guys send texts to other girls?
Q. My boyfriend has been sending dirty texts to other girls and he knows that I know. Why do guys send dirty message to other girls if they're in a relationship?...
A. 15 November 2012: Hi
They don't normally, you just happen to be dating a disrespectful and immature bloke who thinks he is single.
How would he feel if you were texting the same to lads? You wouldn't do it I bet.Ask yourself why you wouldn't.
... (read in full...)
We had a fight, partner hasn't contacted me in 24 hours. Do I have a right to be angry?
Q. I am just looking for some advice from anyone who might have been in a similar situation. Last night my partner of 4 years and I had a huge fight. We do fight sometimes but usually are a very loving couple. The fight was over me being called lots of ...
A. 15 November 2012: Hi
It does sound like a pretty bad row, yes he will definately need cooling off time but I understand your concerns about him.
I know he's an adult and can do as he pleases but if your in any way concerned about his welfare,contact ... (read in full...)
I left my wife for a woman half my age. Now I hear crap like she will leave me one day, how do I stop it and what do I do if she does leave?
Q. let me start out by saying that i usually dont need advice but im truly upset. i am 49 cheated on my wife with a girl half my age, left my wife for her, got a divorce, got engaged, and now im going to be a father for the first time, to my own child. ...
A. 14 November 2012: Hi
No relationship comes with a guarantee it will last.But some have the odds stacked against them. If you listen to your critics you will be filled with doubt.
If she does leave you for a younger model in the future, then you will know how yo... (read in full...)
Questions for the ladies-- set 2
Q. Hey ladies, set 2: Question 4: Have you ever fantasised about one of your boyfriends/ husbands friends? My answer: Once or twice Question 5: Do you secretly watch porn behind your mans back? Well we know a lot of men do this and try to kee...
A. 14 November 2012:
4) No, never
5) Porn just makes me laugh
6) No, its something you can always improve over time... (read in full...)
I don't know if I want to leave the stability of my marriage for this guy, but I don't trust my husband either!
Q. Here's my story. I am married, have been for almost 2 years. We have a 2 year old together. I found out I was pregnant only month after I met my now husband. While I was 6 months pregnant I found out my husband was cheating. I took him back and he ...
A. 14 November 2012: Hi
By sticking it out with your husband and marrying him, you were looking out for yourself.You knew what he was like,not to be trusted.
The fact you have now met somebody you are attracted to is no surprise as you haven't mentioned once t... (read in full...)
My ex wants to get together for sex - does she really want more??
Q. i've been seperated from my girlfriend for about a month now. we split due to differences between us. for example, she's very high strung, i'm very laid back. she's very conservative with how she wants to raise kids (which we both decided we would ...
A. 14 November 2012: Hi
To me she is playing what is normally the mans role as an Ex, she is after sex with no strings.
Thing is it's never going anywhere,you finished for a reason,your emotions are still raw,you have kept in contact and done everything her w... (read in full...)
Did I do the right thing by walking away when my fiance was staring at a woman? He didn't try to find me.
Q. My fiance stares a lot at women in front of me. I've talked to him about it, but to no avail. His staring can get blatant, up and down looks, looking at their rear. No matter where we go, he looks or tries to sneak a peek in. I see it all even if ...
A. 13 November 2012:
Another thing, he didn't know you were going to be in the bathroom for 20 mins so you could have come out in say 10 and he would have been talking to this woman.He may have been talking across the room,she may have started the conversa... (read in full...)
Questions for the ladies....
Q. I want to ask the ladies a few questions. I hear so much about what MEN want from women and their relationships but not so much about what women want, in fact a lot of the time the women seem to be asking questions about how they can improve for ...
A. 13 November 2012: Q1 - Honestly - No,but it bothers them
Q2 - Not diliberately but if one shows up when browsing
for something else....
Q3 - Not at all,prefer a bit of meat on mine not muscle... (read in full...)
How do you find a trustworthy guy? It is making me want to give up on men completely....
Q. Hi, I know this is probably going to get a bit of hate, because I know that I'm stereotyping men in a negative way, but it's just how it is, I'm sorry. :/ I kind of need advice on the future - I have kind of a damaging view of men, that makes ...
A. 13 November 2012: Hi
For a start you do not have to sleep with every guy you date. You need to spend ALOT longer getting to know them before you take it to that level.A decent genuine bloke who cares will wait, a low-life will vanish.
Don't give up on men, just ... (read in full...)
Ignoring me then texting me wanting sex, this has been going on for 2 years! What should I do?
Q. Hi i am new here just need some advice on this. I have been sleeping with a man for 2 years, we were boyfriend/girlfriend then somehow ended up fwbs. i hadnt saw him for a few weeks so i text him and asked him if he had slept with someone else, he ...
A. 13 November 2012: Hi
Just carry on as you were,ignoring him,you were right to.If he turns up again just tell him to go away.He's only using you when he has nobody else for sex.Get on with your life and forget the loser... (read in full...)
Did I do the right thing by walking away when my fiance was staring at a woman? He didn't try to find me.
Q. My fiance stares a lot at women in front of me. I've talked to him about it, but to no avail. His staring can get blatant, up and down looks, looking at their rear. No matter where we go, he looks or tries to sneak a peek in. I see it all even if ...
A. 13 November 2012: Hi
I don't think he was chatting her up, he was just chatting in general,he told you about it after all.
But yes it was thoughtless and added to that his blatant checking out of other women maybe he simply is not ready to settle down, per... (read in full...)
Should I leave my frigid husband of 20 years?
Q. I need advice on whether to end my marriage of 20 years. I have 2 kids, age 11 and 14. I am a Stay at Home Mom. My husband does not initiate sex, has no interest in sex but keeps me around. Probably to do the housework and childcare. Strange ...
A. 13 November 2012: Hi
Its clear your not happy with the situation.You don't say how long he has not wanted sex either.If its since the new job he could just be plain exhausted,starting a new job is stressful enough., a long commute drains you.
If its been years o... (read in full...)
It seems all we do is argue
Q. I am 28 years old married for two years with a 15 month old son. My husband and I have been arguing a lot. To me it seems like he isn't happy but when I say anything he says its me, that I'm always miserable and start fights with him. I see things ...
A. 13 November 2012: Hi
He comes home and has a couple of beers at the end of the day. He could stop off at a Bar nightly, get blind drunk,spend all his money,lose his job....
I like a glass or two of wine to unwind and so do most people I know. His parents bein... (read in full...)
Our female room mate who has a crush on my boyfriend walked by our room naked last night!
Q. So this situation is kind of awkward. My bf and I recently got a new roommate. She is fine most of the time, but she kind of had/has a crush on my bf (he thought she was cute in the past, but is totally over it), and used to flirt with him a lot. I ...
A. 13 November 2012: Hi
Ofcourse she did it on purpose, she knows your doors open.Its pretty blatant 'look at me' behaviour.
Ask her to leave,politely, before you come home and find them together - men are weak and she's after him.
If you get another lodger t... (read in full...)
Our female room mate who has a crush on my boyfriend walked by our room naked last night!
Q. So this situation is kind of awkward. My bf and I recently got a new roommate. She is fine most of the time, but she kind of had/has a crush on my bf (he thought she was cute in the past, but is totally over it), and used to flirt with him a lot. I ...
A. 12 November 2012: Hi
Two things.One is to keep your bedroom door closed now you have a female room mate. The other is to ask her to at least wrap a towel round her as its inappropriate to be wandering around naked when theres a man living there.... (read in full...)
Drunken one nite stand is threatening to tell my girlfriend what happened!
Q. I've been seeing my girlfriend for just over a year, I love her to bits. About 4-months ago I had a one night stand, not full blown sex but heavy fondling. I'd drunk wayyy too much. Halfway through I came to my senses stopped and went home. The ...
A. 12 November 2012: Hi
It all sounds a bit extreme seeing as nothing happened and you sobered up,left and went home.
I don't get what her or her boyfriends problem is? It was 4 months ago and suddenly you get all these calls and texts off her. Why you gave her you... (read in full...)
Do guys really prefer girls with long hair?
Q. do guys really prefer girls with long hair? I have really long dark hair down to my waist, but most the time I leave it naturally curly/wavy because it looks nicer and has more texture. But the amount of guys who mention my hair on a night out is ...
A. 12 November 2012: Hi
Some guys might prefer your legs,boobs or bum instead but its less weird if a complete stranger compliments your hair.
Some may like long hair better but I don't think its ever a requirement for a girlfriend,men aren't that shallow.... (read in full...)
My girlfriend wants to remain a virgin until marriage, but what if she breaks up with me and has sex with the next guy?
Q. my girlfriend and i have been dating a year now, but she still a virgin at the age of 25. we fool around alot and i go down on her and give her alot of orgasms and my finger gets more sex than me and i havn't had sex for over a year. proble...
A. 12 November 2012: Hi
Its her choice not to have sex with ANYONE before marriage. You know that and must deal with it.
I don't understand why either of you would want to frustrate yourselves with what amounts to foreplay to be honest.In my book you either want ... (read in full...)
Should I respect my parents or try to make my boyfriend happy?
Q. I have been with my boyfriend for just over 2 years and we've had a few major hiccups along the way but we've always weathered through. One of our main arguments is that I don't sleep over at his house unless my parents are away. My parents are a...
A. 12 November 2012: Hi
First,why is he living off your savings when you don't even share a home together?
As your parents are not going to alter their views then whilst your living there then your boyfriend either accepts this or you go your differents ways.... (read in full...)
My girlfriend is gutted by her 12 year old son's refusal to speak to her
Q. Hi Everyone, I really need help and advice. My girlfriend, she is a wonderful mother to her 2 children, her daughter 14 lives with us, her son is 12 and lives with his dad, we live 5 hours away from her son. Her ex and her have been seperated f...
A. 12 November 2012: Hi
Well good luck and remember, whilst they were seperated, in the kids minds, there may have been a chance of reconciliation. Divorce makes it final for everyone.
It also means that everyone can finally move on so in time things will sort... (read in full...)
My girlfriend is gutted by her 12 year old son's refusal to speak to her
Q. Hi Everyone, I really need help and advice. My girlfriend, she is a wonderful mother to her 2 children, her daughter 14 lives with us, her son is 12 and lives with his dad, we live 5 hours away from her son. Her ex and her have been seperated f...
A. 11 November 2012: Hi
In most splits there is always fall-out,especially when one partner is bitter,which is probably how her ex feels.
All you can do is look at the scenario from her 12yr old sons point of view. He might be her saviour but at this present tim... (read in full...)
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