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... Send *rg123 a private message | | | *rg123's profile:I am a 30 y/o Male from Peterborough. I have a experience of life and more relationships than I would like to be honest. What makes me tick is a complicated question. Enjoy writing about various issues.
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| Latest articles: Is life 'uncomplicated' for singletons?
This question has 4 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
31 July 2011: Single life, we are told in any case, is the life of riley. However, if you look at the questions on this website and were too do a survey of the martial status of the questioners I bet just as many would turn out to be single as do attached, in ...
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My long distance boyfriend is being too distant. Please advise.
Q. My long-distance boyfriend and I have been dating for nine months (due to be ten in a few days) but lately, we've been having communication issues. I have no idea what goes on in his life. He doesn't tell me anything.. And he doesn't really a...
A. 14 May 2011: -sent hug-, it will take time but you will be able to let him go and move on and grow. You weren't wasting it, this experience will be something that helps you grow. Take care, I know its clichéd and *very* easy for me to say but things will get ... (read in full...)
My long distance boyfriend is being too distant. Please advise.
Q. My long-distance boyfriend and I have been dating for nine months (due to be ten in a few days) but lately, we've been having communication issues. I have no idea what goes on in his life. He doesn't tell me anything.. And he doesn't really a...
A. 18 April 2011: I hate to be the bearer of bad news here - but I would judge him by his actions not his words. As you are obviously aware his actions and words dont fit together and when that happens I think actions are always a better guide to true feelings, sadly ... (read in full...)
Why did I tell him I forgive you?
Q. Basicly I dont know why Im still upset about it. well this guy i was with, we were constantly on and off he had a foul temper, he kept telling me over and over "I want you" and I kept giving him Achance and I dont even know what way it was supp...
A. 17 April 2011: This sounds like a proper mess to be honest. Why are you going back? Will I think the answer simply this - you have not resolved all the issues that arose in this relationship in your own head. Since he had a foul temper and obviously made you feel ... (read in full...)
Found number for escort from bf, should I trust him?
Q. Hello, I have been with my boyfriend for about a year and a half. I know his last relationship before me was like three or four years ago. Anyway I found out last year he had a list of phone numbers of escorts in the area. I freak out but didn't c...
A. 17 April 2011: Broadly speaking, I agree with Anon here. His past is his past and ultimately should not be a deal breaker. We all travel rocky roads and make wrong choices and I think its wrong for perpetual judgement to be encouraged. The real issue here isnt ... (read in full...)
I told my g/f if she cant show she cares, I have to leave her
Q. I've been dating my girlfriend for years now. In the last handful of months, she's gotten extremely depressed and irritable. All she wants to do is sleep. She's taking her anger and frustration out on me. She's not spending any quality time with me. ...
A. 17 April 2011: Lets start for the top and ask ourselves whats happening here. Your partner is obviously in a spiral of depression and if you should understand one thing about depression its that it can make you amazingly self-centred and come across as exceedingly ... (read in full...)
Ex never talks about her new boyfriend to her friends!?!
Q. One of my ex's friends told me that my ex never talks about her boyfriend to anyone... even my ex's best friend has said this... her new bf apparently makes no effort to engage with her friend... but weirder still she talks about me a lot :S ...
A. 17 April 2011: Is the real question your asking here are there any feelings left, is there a chance of getting back? If so, its kind of impossible to tell from this. It's more than possible her new fella is a rebound and that's why shes not shouting from the ... (read in full...)
My long distance boyfriend is being too distant. Please advise.
Q. My long-distance boyfriend and I have been dating for nine months (due to be ten in a few days) but lately, we've been having communication issues. I have no idea what goes on in his life. He doesn't tell me anything.. And he doesn't really a...
A. 17 April 2011: Well, I think you have a serious problem here and it needs sorting. None of his behaviour is particularly encouraging but you know that already or else you would not have asked this question. The real thing you need to establish is what lies at the ... (read in full...)
Is he playing a game here or what is going on?
Q. This is really frustrating i'll keep it short and simple. There's this guy who i like i've never spoken to him before i've just seen him around but we both know of each other. I really felt he was attracted to me to and lots of other people who...
A. 17 April 2011: I think the most obvious explanation is that you both are playing something of a game here but not the kind of game you think. You obviously both like each other and are sending out the right signals but now we are at the stage where somebody needs ... (read in full...)
I think my husband is visiting strip clubs. What should I do?
Q. Hello, My husband went to strip clubs before we met. He has a group of friends that are often go. After he met me he didn't hang out with them for a while, and now recently he started going out with one of them again. He said they are just going to...
A. 16 April 2011: Got to go with Quantum here. You should ask him and you have to accept what he says at face value. All you have to really fuel your suspicion is the fact its one of the same friends. I understand why this would be upsetting and thats why I think it ... (read in full...)
I can't get over her. How do I get her to want me?
Q. i am absolutely in love with this girl, she knows this and she claims that she doesnt like me...however she has been doing all sorts of things, she has been trying to make me jealous intentionally in front of me randomly when i am in a good mood, ...
A. 16 April 2011: Hmmm im not going to be the bearer of good news on this one I am afraid. Things you think are directed at you may well not be and the best case scenario bottom line on this one is that she likes it when you give her attention but has absolutely no ... (read in full...)
Boyfriend says our relationship makes him feel like he is in prison. Please help.
Q. My boyfriend feels bad lately because of my presence. He says that he can feel me everywhere even when we're apart. I don't see him a lot but he still feels like he's in some kind of prison because of me. I love him a lot and I'm trying to change...
A. 16 April 2011: Are you insecure, do you constantly question him? The feeling I am getting from this is no to be honest but your side is one side. If your bf was writing this what would he say? He would have to come up with something a bit more convincing than his ... (read in full...)
I've fallen for a girl and not sure if it's reciprocated?!?
Q. Hi, I have been in a relationship for the last 3 and a half years, which has not been particularly healthy in the last 6 months, about 3 months ago I started doing a show(theatre) with someone I've been friends with for a long time but kind of lost ...
A. 16 April 2011: Well its kind-of but not really true. Your relationship was dead in any case and what she did was provide the spur you needed to end it. Credit too you, you did the right thing by everybody concerned in ending it before it went too far. Your new ... (read in full...)
My depression ends the relationship every time. What can I do?
Q. I dont know where to start. but i've been with a boy on and off for just over 2 years. I love him! But i suffer from depression and everytime im in a relationship with him, my depression takes over an it always ends. We decided to leave it and just ...
A. 16 April 2011: Sophie,
So, its not him per se? Is this feeling just around boys or does it occur in other situations?
Hmmm well I think what needs to be done is the origins of how you feel and why you feel this way need to be found.
A councillor sh... (read in full...)
She lied about what happened at a party when she was drunk
Q. I'm nearly 18. Months ago, my girlfriend [just turned 18] went to a house party with some friends, and I couldnt go because I had work the next day. I got a number of drunken texts from her the next day which were sent during the night, one telling ...
A. 15 April 2011: Ben, I think your feelings still show through I think. Sorry, I was a bit dismissive, what I picked up on is what you said, you felt you could have tried harder with it and know deep down you could have and thats why you cant move on. I dont think... (read in full...)
I'm in love with this man who I met online, as I've fallen for his personality, but I'm completely repulsed by him physically!!
Q. okay so this is a bit of a weird one. i met this guy on the internet and we quickly became close. for almost 2 years we chatted online every night until the early hours of the morning, and on the phone, texting ect. We've met up a couple of times...
A. 15 April 2011: I think painful, direct honesty is the best policy here. Dont judge yourself too harshly - your obviously not shallow. Your also right when you say there has to be some attraction. Its not shallow to say that, it would be shallow if you based your ... (read in full...)
How do I stop feeling so upset and anxious about his dirty texts to another girl?
Q. Hey readers, I need some help to stop hurting about my bf sending dirty/sex texts to another girl. We've been together 7 months, and everything has been really great, including our sex life. He went through a rough patch at work, working long ...
A. 15 April 2011: Well first, you need to realise your not wrong and overreacting and stop beating yourself up about this. Your quite right; its as simple as that. He is expressing a wish to cheat basically and given the opportunity he probably would given his ... (read in full...)
Should I ask my boyfriend to move with my family?
Q. My parents are on about moving to Devon and wanting me to come with them, as my mum has said she wont move unless I go with her, however I recently got back with my ex boyfriend I know we haven't been out for long but it feels like forever and at ...
A. 15 April 2011: Laura, I think there is alot at play here. If your honest this is also as much about you not wanting to go through what will feel like losing him again. I get that; I dont think you should give up on the idea entirely, its not a bad idea, its ju... (read in full...)
Should I ask my boyfriend to move with my family?
Q. My parents are on about moving to Devon and wanting me to come with them, as my mum has said she wont move unless I go with her, however I recently got back with my ex boyfriend I know we haven't been out for long but it feels like forever and at ...
A. 15 April 2011: I strongly endorse the solution Cerberus suggests. I think if you take him down straight away with you there are going to be problems, initially not between yourselves maybe but involving the people around you. I think if you want to make this last, ... (read in full...)
Should I ask my boyfriend to move with my family?
Q. My parents are on about moving to Devon and wanting me to come with them, as my mum has said she wont move unless I go with her, however I recently got back with my ex boyfriend I know we haven't been out for long but it feels like forever and at ...
A. 15 April 2011: I feel for your situation. Circumstances beyond your control or direction have forced this on you and its a terrible choice. The obvious answer is yes, but the obvious risk is if it doesnt work out he will be adrift, a long way from home, with most ... (read in full...)
She lied about what happened at a party when she was drunk
Q. I'm nearly 18. Months ago, my girlfriend [just turned 18] went to a house party with some friends, and I couldnt go because I had work the next day. I got a number of drunken texts from her the next day which were sent during the night, one telling ...
A. 15 April 2011: Well I think its a bit hard for any of us to answer that since unless your really fortunate none of us were there. The sequence of events seems reasonably clear (though it doesn't follow I don't think that your ex let this guy 'grope her' that's ... (read in full...)
Guy I used to casually fooled around is fading from my life--and I don't want him to!
Q. me and this boy liked each other but we werent in a relationship but we used to go out a lot and weve kissed loads and ive masturbated him. (it was his first time.) but we faded and dont talk anymore. i still really like him, im scared. he's ...
A. 15 April 2011: You see the problem here is that you were entering into something he wasnt. You obviously wanted to do more than fool around with this person but it seems he was in it for the gratification he could get from you. I'm guessing he never indicated he ... (read in full...)
Hubby and I fantasizing about affection with other people. Good idea or no?
Q. My husband and I have been together for 10 years and married for a total of 5 years.We are both very open minded people and honest with each other.Marriage is great and since we almost grew up together we are totally bonded and secure in our ...
A. 15 April 2011: Hmmm im not sure I could do this but then again im not you or your husband or in your relationship so its not really for me or anybody to say definitively you should or shouldn't. What we can do is outline the dangers.
The obvious con is it may s... (read in full...)
Dumped so he can deal with his issues
Q. Has anyone been dumped by someone they truly love and care for? But with the circumstances being that they dumped you so that they themselves can find who they are and where they want to be in life and to pass school/work etc (my case is he has ...
A. 15 April 2011: Yes. I've had exactly the same happen to me just this week actually. I'm sorry to hear its happened to you. I'm tempted to say get back to you but I think the hardest part is knowing that deep down this person still has feelings for you but these ... (read in full...)
My BF is stuck to his other colleague like a "magnet" and I don't know what to do now!
Q. Hey guys I have a problem, See,I own a horse and I've met my BF through a horse ranch. Lately we've been having issues with our relationship. When it first started I felt so lucky meeting him like I did. He's wealthy handsome and smart. See, he'...
A. 15 April 2011: I don't think your blind at all. I think or rather fear for you that you see well enough whats going on - the problem is the next step dealing with it which as your invested in this relationship heavily is going to be the most painful step.
Havin... (read in full...)
How can I keep this LDR?
Q. Fellow cupids...I could use some advice right now!!! My bf dumped me last week because he is failing school, got depressed about life as he has no idea what he wants to do and everyone else seems to know and just became an angry person. (I must...
A. 15 April 2011: I think this is tricky and I think the brutal and painful answer to 'what can I do' is pretty much nothing. Why? Well I would say because there is no obvious problem with the relationship, the problem is with your bf and the only thing that is going ... (read in full...)
Do I confront him to what my psychic said or do I keep quiet and say nothing?
Q. i am at my wits end. I just dont know how to go about this situation, i am hoping i get some advice on what to do here i go .. I saw a pyschic the other day, and he was spot on about a lot of things that he could not possibly know of. but the one ...
A. 15 April 2011: Well, im more than open minded about these things so wouldn't dismiss it at all. If he wasnt going to go there though I do think he was remiss in mentioning it in the first place because you cant say that and not expect it to have a effect. Havi... (read in full...)
The only person that makes my twin sister happy is her best friends ex!
Q. Hiya there. I need your help. My twin is stuck and she isn't a member of this site so I said I'd let her write it on mine. Well first off, about 3 years ago she was in love with this boy called 'R'. They had a thing going off for ages. They would...
A. 14 April 2011: Your twins friend isnt much of a friend at all, to be brutal and honest. Friends do not do what she did. She knew how your twin felt and what did she do? She betrayed your twin for something she wanted, probably actually just to spite your twin. ... (read in full...)
My depression ends the relationship every time. What can I do?
Q. I dont know where to start. but i've been with a boy on and off for just over 2 years. I love him! But i suffer from depression and everytime im in a relationship with him, my depression takes over an it always ends. We decided to leave it and just ...
A. 14 April 2011: Ok, what happens when your depression takes over? Do you mean insecurity or just general negativity? The fact he tells you about other girls is a bit cruel to be honest. I know you have feelings for him but thats a very cruel thing of him to ... (read in full...)
Me and my ex still have feelings for each other, but she likes someone else
Q. It's been 3 months since my break up with my ex. We broke up because we fought so much and argued about every little thing, we went out for three years and when we broke up, we still loved and care for each other. 3 months have passed and all that ...
A. 14 April 2011: Your not in a relationship with her so you have no right to stop her seeing somebody else. Even if you were, it would still be wrong. Given how things are I think she'd be very ill-advised to do anything with this guy because its clear you still ... (read in full...)
GF went through my messages from before I was with her. She has lost trust and respect for me
Q. Hi there, Ive been with my girlfriend for four months but seeing each other for about 6 and it is an extremely strong relationship where we are already talking about a future together. The problem is, she went through my messages on facebook from ...
A. 14 April 2011: Hmmm well i'm not sure she should have done that really because im not sure shes entitled to be honest but I guess thats a side issue. The real issue here is that she is now questioning the kind of person you are but I accept what you say about ... (read in full...)
Why can't I let go?
Q. hi guys, well its a long story. i apologise in advance. i've been with this guy for three years. i have never stopped loving him even when i found out he was married and had 4 kids. he is twice my age. i couldnt leave. i have tried so hard. i ...
A. 14 April 2011: First things first, it's been a week. It would be odd if you still weren't highly distressed given all you have been through.
As to the childhood trauma point. Yes that could be a factor but without knowing specifics its hard to comment much fur... (read in full...)
Do you believe in full disclosure?
Q. This issue is really about how much someone should really share with their bf/gf. I'm not trying to be secretive for the sake of it. My boyfriend and I have had very, very different lives. His has been very normal and he hasn't gone through man...
A. 14 April 2011: Well, first things first, he can't push you and this is something you should do at your own speed. The bottom line is if you dont want to do it dont. Its your life really; of course, with issues that directly effect the relationship, that are shared ... (read in full...)
I love my girlfriend but she's too fat. How do I break up?
Q. me and my gf got together about 3 years ago. we both weighed 17 stone. we had a good relationship but in the last 12 months we said we would go on a diet. Now i weight 13 stone. she however weighs 18 and 1/2 stone. i am attracting the attention of ...
A. 14 April 2011: I have to be honest and say I don't like the reasoning behind this, at all in fact. Hey ho, I guess, ours is to reason why I suppose. I would say that if you do love her, rather than running off what about attempting to raise it with her? Its not as ... (read in full...)
B/f was lying to me and meeting a girl
Q. I can't stop feeling jealous when my boyfriend speaks to other girls. I've been with him for over a year now and although I don't like to throw the word love around I'm happy to say I don't want to be leaving him for a very long time :) The problem ...
A. 14 April 2011: Well I can see why your jealous. Its to some degree a natural response and he's inflaming it. You have been with him a long time since this initial incident occurred but has he continued with the lying? I can understand why this would fan the fl... (read in full...)
Dating 3 years and he's still contacting former lovers!
Q. Why does the guy im seeing for a little under 3 years still in constant contact with all his ex gf and lovers? He texts sends pictures and talks to them daily. When asked he says I had a relationship with them and no reason to stop talking to them. ...
A. 14 April 2011: Hate to say this but your alarm bells are ringing and I can see why. Lets start at the top. He doesnt have to stop talking to his ex's, he's right there - on the other hand they are exs and shouldnt come before his current relationship which at the ... (read in full...)
I don't know how he feels about me.
Q. Well, I have been texting this boy for a couple of months now, after we met at a party. We get on really well and always have contact on a daily/ every other day basis. At a party last week we made out with eachother and then yesterday we were ...
A. 14 April 2011: I think he's probably asking himself the same question. Let me put it this way if I may, there is nothing in what you say here to suggest to me he *doesnt* like you and quite a lot to suggest he does so i'd go with that. I think, to be honest, you ... (read in full...)
Is he stringing me along?
Q. My boyfriend was previously in an 10 year relationship whereby he had two kids with her. We’ve been together for 15 months. He and his ex girlfriend split up 7 months before we met. He has said that he loves me and we spend 98% of our time tog...
A. 14 April 2011: Hmmm I think your being a bit hard on him here. Sorry. Why? Well, firstly you admit you have instigated most of the rows so im forced to conclude his insecurities about splitting up are not without foundation. Furthermore, he obviously got burned ... (read in full...)
What should I do about this guy?
Q. I really like this guy. I could of swore he liked me. he would flirt with me all the time.He would sit by me in class.Sometimes he would put his arm around touch my hand.Then one day he asked me to ask out one of my friends for him.I was so ...
A. 14 April 2011: 'Maybe he got mad'??
I would say it's pretty much odds on he did and its now landed you in something of situation. I want to preface what im about to say by saying I get it. Your scared of rejection. Having said all that, and here I apologis... (read in full...)
Is it too late to ask her out with only 2 days until she leaves?
Q. Alright, so there is this girl who lives in the room next to me in residence at university and about 2 weeks ago she mentioned that she and her boyfriend had broken up but she seemed to be over it from what I gathered. Anyway, since then I have ...
A. 14 April 2011: Hmmmm for your own piece of mind the answer is go for it id say because i get the distinct impression it will chew you up if you dont. If it's meant to be it will be, if it wasnt it wont, in the long run you lose nothing. I'm not sure how this is ... (read in full...)
How do I stop being insecure about my boyfriend's ex-crush, as it's really bothering me
Q. My boyfriend's ex - crush is a girl in his gang of closest friends. She recently threw a hint at him that she is now interested in him, again. He later told me that though he wished he had heard this hint from her when he had liked her, he now does...
A. 14 April 2011: I can understand why you feel insecure. You have good reason too, especially given his comment about what he wished. He may have chosen to be with you but he's indicating, and im sorry to say this, that had things been different he may well have ... (read in full...)
I can't trust my b/f, he doesn't trust me...so now what?
Q. So me and my boyfriend have been going out over a year at first it was great and now its all starting to go down hill. I can't trust him because he would always hang out with another girl and do things for her and I find out and when I confront him ...
A. 14 April 2011: I think the crucial question is as has been said, why cant he trust you? Does he think you will feel jealous or insecure? If so, his actions are counterproductive because he is bound to make you more so.
I think the urgent thing you need to do is... (read in full...)
Am I jumping to conclusions or does he like me?
Q. I know this might sound like in jumping to conclusion and all that usual stuff but I'm really confused. I've known this guy for ages and we are friends, it was always a thing of will they won't they and it looked promising until a couple of months ...
A. 14 April 2011: Hiya,
My feeling here is the answer is yes he does, not because of the parent thing but more because of him a) wanting to spend time with you and b), more importantly the frosty response when you denied liking him. B is more important because ... (read in full...)
She is trying to 'work on herself' what does that mean? and why did she want to break up if she still wants to be friends?
Q. what does it mean when you breakup and the girl is trying to work on herself and she still wants to be friends ? Why would she want to still be friends when she did not want to stay in a relationship with me? ...
A. 14 April 2011: I think this is a good news/bad news answer. Bad news first, I think there is a certain level of commitment involved in a relationship and she obviously doesn't feel able to make that for whatever reason, in this case seemingly for reasons less ... (read in full...)
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