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... Send *rg123 a private message | | | *rg123's profile:I am a 30 y/o Male from Peterborough. I have a experience of life and more relationships than I would like to be honest. What makes me tick is a complicated question. Enjoy writing about various issues.
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| Latest articles: Is life 'uncomplicated' for singletons?
This question has 4 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
31 July 2011: Single life, we are told in any case, is the life of riley. However, if you look at the questions on this website and were too do a survey of the martial status of the questioners I bet just as many would turn out to be single as do attached, in ...
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I can't figure out his feelings towards me
Q. hi heres my problem i like this man but he has been very hurt before he says he doesnt want a relationship as he has just split up with someone after 10 year nearly a year ago now i really like him we started seeing each other for 2 month and it was ...
A. 17 July 2011: You could well be right re his withdrawal from your relationship but I do have to say I find the whole watching/slowing down thing kind-of creepy to be honest; especially as you seem to intimate he doesn't do it when other people are around you. ... (read in full...)
We weren't together at the time, I didnt see the harm...how can I reassure him?
Q. I love my boyfriend so much. We're only seventeen but have been together for almost a year and a half. We broke up for about two months near the start of the year and both saw other people during that time. We broke up basically because we argued so ...
A. 16 July 2011: I don't really agree with Jennie. You shouldn't have to stop drinking completely and you do seem to recognise that you need to maybe control your drinking; ie, stop before your out of control. I do however agree that in the circumstances you ... (read in full...)
Loving me ex but knowing I need to move on
Q. Please Read...My bf dumped me a month ago. He dumped me because he got depressed and love and relationships was just something he no longer wants at this moment in time. Im still in love with him but I dont hurt as bad as I used to. Yes I want ...
A. 15 July 2011: Well my first bit of advice is proceed with extreme caution because to me your guilt screams out that intellectually you may have made the decision to move on but you are nowhere near moved on emotionally. You feel guilty because you still feel like ... (read in full...)
Is no contact working?
Q. Ok so my girlfriend for a good one year broke up with me... telling me that i been stressing her out too much and that she's not feeling the same thing anymore and that she finally lost love to me. i mean we were really good friends before we ...
A. 14 July 2011: I'd have to ask first off how much you know about your ex-partners past because how you describe things makes me think she has definitely had something happen in her past which prompted her reaction. It seems to me the break-up was less about you ... (read in full...)
Was I completely in the wrong? Or did she somewhat over react?
Q. i was just looking for a few opinions on this matter. u didn't know if this was completely my fault and i ran this girl off or if she was overly judgemental and unforgiving. so i met this girl a couple of weeks back. we hit it off immediately. gre...
A. 13 July 2011: No you weren't 'completely in the wrong'; you were trying to be sensitive and considerate towards her feelings BUT remember the old maxim 'the road to hell is paved with good intentions'. She did overreact but the real question you have to ask is ... (read in full...)
I left my alcoholic boyfriend 4 months ago, but it really hurts all the time to be without him. Please tell me I'll eventually be able to move on...
Q. It's been four months now since I walked away from my alcoholic boyfriend of two years. I have not contacted him once, nor have I been anywhere near where he might be. This space is well needed for me to get my head straight and not get back on the ...
A. 11 July 2011: No matter what decision your head makes; it doesn't automatically mean your heart will jump to attention and fall immediately into line. You obviously had a strong bond with your ex and yes, like with any loss it will take time. It may feel like a ... (read in full...)
Is he blanking me because I'm missing his birthday?
Q. Hi there, I have a wee problem and i know it might sound like nothing but i am getting very frsuted over it and i feel really hurt reguarding the situation :( I have been best friends with this guy lets call him "pete" for over 5 years now. I have a...
A. 7 July 2011: Your not wrong. Obviously, what we have here is an unfortunate clash that nobody could have really foreseen, you honestly cannot be expected to keep every conceivable slot open for his birthday as you cant tell his plans. I can understand his plans, ... (read in full...)
Why does he let girls touch him and constantly go on about him?
Q. Okay, well I really don't know where to start with all of this. I've been with my boyfriend for 2 years and 3 months, we've had our ups and downs with in our relationship but then who doesn't? He has a lot of girl mates, and I know all of them and...
A. 6 July 2011: I'm really sorry to have to say this but your dreams are not 'silly' - they may not be entirely true, he may not be cheating, and there is no evidence to suggest he is actually but nothing really suggests he wouldn't. The fact is your subconscious ... (read in full...)
Is the relationship completely ruined or do I have any chance of being with her again someday?
Q. My sweetheart (I'll call her P) and I were together for four months. It's not a lot of time but we have a really eventful story: We both came from five-year-long relationships, we were both cheated on by our partners and we both had trust issues...
A. 6 July 2011: Oh dear. Well yes it does; it raises the first question of whether underlying some of the problems with your previous relationship was her conflicting feelings about her own sexuality....to be fair to her its not unheard of for people to have ... (read in full...)
Is the relationship completely ruined or do I have any chance of being with her again someday?
Q. My sweetheart (I'll call her P) and I were together for four months. It's not a lot of time but we have a really eventful story: We both came from five-year-long relationships, we were both cheated on by our partners and we both had trust issues...
A. 5 July 2011: Well that's just plain rotten of her to be totally honest, she should at least have told you. I am really sad to hear that and hope you dont abandon the path your on, that is and should be for you, not for anybody else, it's really important you ... (read in full...)
Is the relationship completely ruined or do I have any chance of being with her again someday?
Q. My sweetheart (I'll call her P) and I were together for four months. It's not a lot of time but we have a really eventful story: We both came from five-year-long relationships, we were both cheated on by our partners and we both had trust issues...
A. 5 July 2011: I'd try not to worry - try and keep your mind occupied doing other things - *much* easier said than done I know.
Facebook can cause alot of problems and be alot more hassle than its worth I agree and in my last relationship it caused problems... (read in full...)
I don't know how to end a relationship with no valid reason to end it
Q. I have been with a girl for a few months, and it feels like I have been almost pressured into being with her. It's only been about 2 months, but I am already finding myself craving time alone without her there. She hasn't done anything wrong, but ...
A. 4 July 2011: On one level, i'm tempted to say tough 3 months out BUT I think shes into you and I am guessing that was your suggestion and not really what she wants, so if you let it carry on that long she may take hope from that that and try and continue ... (read in full...)
He caught me fliriting online, and now I've caught him flirting online
Q. So ok last week my boyfriend caught me flirting online sexually suggestive like, no i didn't send pictures, my number,or ever met up with these two people. From that day i cutoff contact with both guys, gave my boyfriend all my passwords and even ...
A. 4 July 2011: Your welcome...well then I have to be honest and ask the question is there any mileage left in this relationship? The fact is the behaviour of both of you (maybe his to a greater extent since your saying its an ongoing pattern of behaviour with him) ... (read in full...)
My best friend is rebelling against the guys that hurt her and now I'm worried she is self-destructing herself!
Q. I really need to understand what my best friend is going through. She is self destructing herself, with constant jump from guy to guy and what she calls meaningless things with them. She has always been a happy well respected girl, she never ...
A. 3 July 2011: I don't think this is a product of a burning desire to exact revenge on the male species in general for what has been done to her but, if this exists at all, it is secondary to a desire on her part to re-establish control over her life and her ... (read in full...)
After 6 months of friendship, are his feelings changing?
Q. hi all, I met this guy and we got close then lost contact for a few years. We got in contact again about 6 months ago and have been talking and occasionally meeting up because we live a long way from each other. There is a lot of flirting involve...
A. 3 July 2011: Your more than welcome anytime :), if its any help I have a good feeling about this one for you, thanks, wishing you good luck :)... (read in full...)
He caught me fliriting online, and now I've caught him flirting online
Q. So ok last week my boyfriend caught me flirting online sexually suggestive like, no i didn't send pictures, my number,or ever met up with these two people. From that day i cutoff contact with both guys, gave my boyfriend all my passwords and even ...
A. 3 July 2011: Well it's good you both acknowledge your wrong; that's a good start. As Miss said it seems like a simple case of him trying to fight fire with fire, immature yes but you were wrong in the first instance so there is plenty of wrong to go round. In ... (read in full...)
After 6 months of friendship, are his feelings changing?
Q. hi all, I met this guy and we got close then lost contact for a few years. We got in contact again about 6 months ago and have been talking and occasionally meeting up because we live a long way from each other. There is a lot of flirting involve...
A. 3 July 2011: Well I think you have answered your own question pretty much here. I think the answer is YES he is dropping heavy hints he is interested in you as more than a friend and wants to progress beyond that. Is he being more touchy-feely? Is there ... (read in full...)
Is the relationship completely ruined or do I have any chance of being with her again someday?
Q. My sweetheart (I'll call her P) and I were together for four months. It's not a lot of time but we have a really eventful story: We both came from five-year-long relationships, we were both cheated on by our partners and we both had trust issues...
A. 3 July 2011: Well I think its good you sent her something :). Did you get a reply?
I can see what you mean in that regard and I do think its something you need to be aware of; because your seriousness while of course totally understandable could become a... (read in full...)
I go to sleep crying because I think I am going to lose him. Can you help?
Q. Hey there, I really need some relationship advice here. So first off, i am 17, my boyfriend is 16, we grew up together and on March first this year we started dating and were still together. My problem is that im hoping i can get advice on is tha...
A. 2 July 2011: I really want to give you an answer you would like to hear. I really do, but am not sure I can. Taking your questions one at a time - I think it's a bit of a leap to assume he is cheating without any proper evidence he is - so, I would put that one ... (read in full...)
Should I stay friends with my ex?
Q. My boyfriend of about a yr and 1/2 just broke up with me. I am 20. He made me grow. He was my first love. I felt so comfortable with him and I trust him. He said that he fell out of love with me but still loves me and wants the best for me. He ...
A. 1 July 2011: bellachic Ultimately, the choice is yours but what I would say straight off-the-bat is give it time. You say you have only just broken up - if you try and rush into a friendship now I don't think it will work and it will make the whole process of... (read in full...)
Boyfriend doesn't need me as much?
Q. My boyfriend and I chat online everyday, but sometimes work gets in the way, and days go by. My boyfriend rarely uses his phone, and he doesnt like texting me often, because we're LDR and its expensive for him, though I've offered to help pay. ...
A. 30 June 2011: Well I think your question at the end is very generic but the issue is actually very specific. Personally, I think that different people prefer different levels of communication and there are girls who would be just as reserved as your guy is.Things ... (read in full...)
Is the relationship completely ruined or do I have any chance of being with her again someday?
Q. My sweetheart (I'll call her P) and I were together for four months. It's not a lot of time but we have a really eventful story: We both came from five-year-long relationships, we were both cheated on by our partners and we both had trust issues...
A. 30 June 2011: Thats really good news :) It seems to me she was very pleased to hear from you and that, aside from anything else, is something I think we can definitely say is the case. I think its right to not dwell on what else it could mean and try and second ... (read in full...)
My girlfriend is becoming more and more distant, does she still love me? Does she not want to be with me because of my illness?
Q. Hello everyone Thank you for takeing the time to read this. A lot has happend these last few months, i got diognosed with skitophenia (sorry still cant spell it) lost my viginity with my girlfreind. Been hospitalised three times for epi...
A. 29 June 2011: I think she does, shes just having trouble coping. After all, I really wouldn't still come round and have sex with somebody I had been involved with but didnt still have feelings for. Sex is something you can get elsewhere without the complicated ... (read in full...)
My girlfriend is becoming more and more distant, does she still love me? Does she not want to be with me because of my illness?
Q. Hello everyone Thank you for takeing the time to read this. A lot has happend these last few months, i got diognosed with skitophenia (sorry still cant spell it) lost my viginity with my girlfreind. Been hospitalised three times for epi...
A. 29 June 2011: I think she could well still love you. Another thing she may be struggling to come to terms with is what happened to you. It was against your will, I know that, but you had sex with somebody else and she maybe finding it to deal with that. On an ... (read in full...)
My girlfriend is becoming more and more distant, does she still love me? Does she not want to be with me because of my illness?
Q. Hello everyone Thank you for takeing the time to read this. A lot has happend these last few months, i got diognosed with skitophenia (sorry still cant spell it) lost my viginity with my girlfreind. Been hospitalised three times for epi...
A. 29 June 2011: Its impossible to tell from this - obviously you have alot going on in your life and are going through some really difficult things. My best guess is your girlfriends confused by the current situation and, especially if she is a similar age, may be ... (read in full...)
Is the relationship completely ruined or do I have any chance of being with her again someday?
Q. My sweetheart (I'll call her P) and I were together for four months. It's not a lot of time but we have a really eventful story: We both came from five-year-long relationships, we were both cheated on by our partners and we both had trust issues...
A. 29 June 2011: Well in that regard I think your on the right path. Your spirituality is right for you so just keep on with that I would say. ... (read in full...)
How on earth do I get a boyfriend? I really want to be in love!
Q. Well, I am 15 years old and I love the idea of love. But the thing is I dont have a boyfriend and I want one really bad. It seems as if all my friends have one and its like no one is there for me. I guess what I'm asking is; How on earth do I get a ...
A. 29 June 2011: I think the answer remains pretty much the same to be honest, are you interested in any of these boys as more or are you simply saying you are not because you want them as more as individuals because you want one in general. Maybe none of them are ... (read in full...)
How on earth do I get a boyfriend? I really want to be in love!
Q. Well, I am 15 years old and I love the idea of love. But the thing is I dont have a boyfriend and I want one really bad. It seems as if all my friends have one and its like no one is there for me. I guess what I'm asking is; How on earth do I get a ...
A. 28 June 2011: Well, i'm 30 and your longest relationship is only 7 months shorter than my longest so I have to start off by saying hats off to you for that. My advice to you is don't go looking and dont think about it too much because its absolutely true these ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend has changed his mind about keeping the baby, and now he and his family are ganging up on me forcing me to have an abortion!
Q. my boyfriend and his parents are 'forcing' me into an abortion but i dont want to go through with it. what should i do? im 17 years old and im 5 weeks pregnant. my boyfriend told his parents i may be pregnant before we even knew. when i found out...
A. 27 June 2011: It's your body and your the mother of the baby - the boyfriend has a say and it should be a decision you reach together but no way on this earth do he or his parents have the right to coerce you like this. If you want to keep your child, since your ... (read in full...)
Should I just continue to ignore the problems? Or, if I confront them, how should I do this?
Q. I should preface this whole thing by saying that my boyfriend is a really nice guy. He's sweet, and kind, and sensitive. He's not an asshole, even though some of these things might make him sound selfish! However, there are some things in our re...
A. 27 June 2011: The insanely short answer is YES to confronting these problems. The reason being that its only a matter of time before these 'minor niggles' start turning into major problems - rows for no reason etc etc. You clearly don't feel your demands are ... (read in full...)
Is the relationship completely ruined or do I have any chance of being with her again someday?
Q. My sweetheart (I'll call her P) and I were together for four months. It's not a lot of time but we have a really eventful story: We both came from five-year-long relationships, we were both cheated on by our partners and we both had trust issues...
A. 27 June 2011: Well it seems to me, not just lack of trust on your part was the central issue but your inability to communicate properly. Maybe this is because you put barriers up and didnt reach out to her - for example when she was down about her grandma - and ... (read in full...)
What would you do if a pretty young girl was chasing your boyfriend?
Q. What would you do if there is this pretty young girl chasing over your boyfriend??? To make things worst they live in nearby place and I'm miles apart from my boyfriend now... I'm clueless on what is going on since I'm in a very far away place right ...
A. 26 June 2011: This is a tricky one. Normally i'd argue for your instincts but you have to be mindful of the fact that your instincts can be coloured by your own emotions like, for example, fear, which is one of the classic ones which does cloud and in some ways ... (read in full...)
If she breaks up with him what should I do?
Q. I guess i should first give a little background. My friend James, has been going out with a girl for almost a year now. I at first had no feelings for her, but over time I started developing feelings for her. Now the relationship has not been all...
A. 26 June 2011: Well lets start from the top; I dont think you should forget about her since you obviously care about her and can give her a better life than this guy. I also think frankly, if you care that much you should try and date her at *some stage*. You have ... (read in full...)
What to write?
Q. Im getting my man one of they giant cookies the heart shaped one What the heck can I get written on it lol He knows I love him I tell him all the time lol Looking for something funny but sexy or aw a dunno lol Sounds really daft I know but a d...
A. 25 June 2011: I suggest you try and add a personal touch, think of something that will mean something to him but not too anybody else and go from there; something like that can be better than a I love you in some ways, sometimes. Obviously, the very nature of ... (read in full...)
He obviously wants more. Can I keep him as a friend? Or just tell him it was only sex, nothing more?
Q. About 5 to 6 years ago I dated this guy Joe for about a week, I was his first and only girlfriend. I was the new kid still and he made me laugh. For whatever reason I broke up with him and over the years I have been hearing things that solidified my ...
A. 25 June 2011: The other contributor is basically right. Kindness exists in cruelty (and vice versa as it happens) and this is one of those times your going to have to be cruel to be kind. Fact is if you go along with this purely not to hurt his feelings your only ... (read in full...)
My best friend has feelings for me, I love him too but I'm not totally over my ex. What should I do?
Q. I don't even know where to start.. Well, my first relationship was with a guy I would have given the earth to, I did pretty much anything and everything he asked me to - I completely doted on this guy because I loved him as well as him being my...
A. 24 June 2011: I think really we have to deal with the first issue before we deal with your best friend. As you rightly say your not over your ex so you will struggle if you start anything with your best friend. Obviously this guy was very special to you and you ... (read in full...)
I don't like that she still speaks to her ex, and to make it worse she hasn't told him about me!
Q. Hi, I have a problem that keeps eating away at me and has done so for months. I've been dating my girlfriend for 9 months, she is my first love and first real relationship. I love her more than anything, and I know she loves me the same way. She's ...
A. 23 June 2011: Well in answer to your first question - it happens, people change, they experience new things, they grow and evolve and they become different people. Therefore people fall out of love with people as they change. It doesn't happen overnight though it ... (read in full...)
Am I wrong or am I really a bad person?
Q. Well this isn't a relationship question really... It's about my dad. He's mentally unwell and uses it as an excuse not to do anything around the house. The bathrooms haven't been cleaned for 3 months and the floors haven't been vacuumed in about ...
A. 22 June 2011: While it may well be true that objectively he is abusive i'd be a bit careful with this one purely because of the mental health issues. In no way do they excuse his actions which are deplorable but they do explain them and provide a different ... (read in full...)
Am I wrong or am I really a bad person?
Q. Well this isn't a relationship question really... It's about my dad. He's mentally unwell and uses it as an excuse not to do anything around the house. The bathrooms haven't been cleaned for 3 months and the floors haven't been vacuumed in about ...
A. 22 June 2011: Your not a bad person at all. Your a good person in a very, very difficult situation which many people twice your age couldn't cope with and my heart goes out to you. Firstly, you have to remember that although they hurt, your Dad doesn't mean those ... (read in full...)
I don't want her back in a romantic way, but I don't know how to get over her either!
Q. My ex gf and I have been broken up for 2 months and our break up was a painful one for the both of us, but we decided to still be friends and after being broken up for a month, she started dating someone else..so I told her that I needed time to ...
A. 22 June 2011: I'm going to have to go ahead and disagree with the other contributor *in this instance*. Why? Well simply because neither of you is over this - her fling after you was obviously a rebound. What you need to do is sort out what feelings you do have ... (read in full...)
Should I move to my ex's city?
Q. Ok, so here's the situation my ex and I have been broken up for over 9 months now. We were in a LDR and there were plans for me to move to her city. But since we're broken up obviously those plans fell apart. The problem is that I love the city that ...
A. 22 June 2011: I'm bound to ask why seeing her is a problem if your that indifferent. I totally believe you when you say you have no intention or desire to mend the relationship but it seems to me you still have a little, possibly not totally fully-healed scar ... (read in full...)
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