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... Send *rg123 a private message | | | *rg123's profile:I am a 30 y/o Male from Peterborough. I have a experience of life and more relationships than I would like to be honest. What makes me tick is a complicated question. Enjoy writing about various issues.
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| Latest articles: Is life 'uncomplicated' for singletons?
This question has 4 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
31 July 2011: Single life, we are told in any case, is the life of riley. However, if you look at the questions on this website and were too do a survey of the martial status of the questioners I bet just as many would turn out to be single as do attached, in ...
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My long distance boyfriend is being too distant. Please advise.
Q. My long-distance boyfriend and I have been dating for nine months (due to be ten in a few days) but lately, we've been having communication issues. I have no idea what goes on in his life. He doesn't tell me anything.. And he doesn't really a...
A. 14 May 2011: -sent hug-, it will take time but you will be able to let him go and move on and grow. You weren't wasting it, this experience will be something that helps you grow. Take care, I know its clichéd and *very* easy for me to say but things will get ... (read in full...)
She keeps running from me to her ex!
Q. This is a long story but i need peoples feedback because i don't know what to do :( Right so i met this girl out one night and we kissed, she was completely drunk but the next week I saw her again and we started talking and she seemed really ni...
A. 5 May 2011: Long story, short answer, I fear. You have become a unwitting pawn in the drama of their still not properly ended relationship. Unfortunate and not very fair on you but not uncommon. She obviously has major issues about the end of this relationship ... (read in full...)
I'm too jealous and I'm worried it will ruin my relationship
Q. I'm scared that I've become to obsessive with my boyfriend, not too bad. But I'm quite a jealous person, and I get pissed off quite easily. For example, if he talks to another girl online, I'm weary, althouh not annoyed. But if say I find out he's...
A. 5 May 2011: Im getting the feeling you may be being a wee bit too harsh on yourself here. A certain amount of jealousy is natural in a relationship when you have deep feelings for your partner and also especially if you have been burnt before in a previous ... (read in full...)
Am I making too much of this dream?
Q. What could it mean if I dreamed that my boyfriend gave me a promise ring. Which I wore next to my purity ring. However when I went to go show everyone, my purity ring was replaced by a engagement but it was fake. So I was wearing a "real" promise...
A. 26 April 2011: I'm mostly with Aunt on this one. I dont think you need to worry that this dream predicts anything - it more tells you where you are then anywhere your going to go. Having said that, as I agree with Aunt on her reading of this one I would have ask ... (read in full...)
Help! I fantasise about my boyfriend with other women when we have sex!
Q. This is going to sound very strange!!! I have always been quite a jealous person and I still very much am. On a normal day, the thought of my boyfriend even looking at another woman makes me angry and upset. However, when I am with my boyfrien...
A. 26 April 2011: As has been said there is no normal or abnormal or right or wrong. You think its abnormal because it clashes with another aspect of you and it unsettles you because you dont understand it. Have you ever considered what turns you on is the thought of ... (read in full...)
Am I going off him or is it stress?
Q. Ive been with my boyfriend only two months. He seems perfect, kind, thoughtful, he takes me out and actually listens. Recently I have found myself not wanting sex with him and getting angry at everything he does or says. We see each other prett...
A. 26 April 2011: I find this one hard to tell for sure one way or the other. What I can say is that probably you do feel a little crowded out by him and this maybe what is causing these feelings. With everything on your plate, he is becoming simply another stress ... (read in full...)
Should I feel guilty for loving him but getting over him?
Q. I need to get over a guy and stop feeling guilty. When I was almost 15 pretty much my bestfriend who was 20 asked me out. I was stupid and naïve and said yes. Things progressed out in our relationship and when I was almost 16 I ran away to live with ...
A. 26 April 2011: @Broken,
Ye I can tell you feel a lot of guilt and I understand why BUT this wasnt your fault. You promised him you wouldnt change? Well to be honest thats a promise nobody can truly make. Ive recently been through a break up and have done som... (read in full...)
Should I feel guilty for loving him but getting over him?
Q. I need to get over a guy and stop feeling guilty. When I was almost 15 pretty much my bestfriend who was 20 asked me out. I was stupid and naïve and said yes. Things progressed out in our relationship and when I was almost 16 I ran away to live with ...
A. 25 April 2011: @Broken,
Heya. Ok, I just wonder though how do you honestly feel about the fact he is in prison in the first place? You said he has 'issues' already and this is something that is fuelling your guilt. Would it be fair to say that its actually... (read in full...)
Should I feel guilty for loving him but getting over him?
Q. I need to get over a guy and stop feeling guilty. When I was almost 15 pretty much my bestfriend who was 20 asked me out. I was stupid and naïve and said yes. Things progressed out in our relationship and when I was almost 16 I ran away to live with ...
A. 25 April 2011: No you shouldn't. I'm not going to pass judgement here on what happened. Maybe a lot of things should have happened. And yes I accept the point that he should have waited until you were 18, but a lot of things that shouldnt happen do and it is what ... (read in full...)
Was his friend right? is it off-putting to guys that I'm articulate? Or am I OK as I am?
Q. When talking to these two guys the whole night at a pub, who were 22 and 23. Near the end when i said my age i first received a nice comment from one guy and then straight after, his friend hit back with a comment that made me think is he right? ...
A. 22 April 2011: I'll be honest. It will put some guys off BUT they are the wrong type of guys anyway and they certainly not would be able to last in a relationship with you. So, in that regard its not a problem. I think there is nothing wrong with how you are; in ... (read in full...)
How close can a guy be with a female friend, when in a committed relationship with another girl?
Q. How close can a guy be to him female friends when in a committed relationship with a girl? What are the things that a boyfriend can and cannot do with female friends when he is committed to someone?...
A. 22 April 2011: Right. I think this is hard question to answer on one level. My honest feeling is that as long as somebody is not cheating (kissing in a sexual way or having sex with) with a friend of the opposite sex there is nothing wrong with whatever degree of ... (read in full...)
My g/f thinks my cousin's love interest likes me and is telling me not to talk to her!
Q. Hello cupids :) So a couple of nights ago went to a party, both my cousin and I are lesbians, I went with my girlfriend but we didn't hang out much. Well my cousins sort of fling was there and she is very nice, not my type at all, well my girlfrie...
A. 22 April 2011: Oh dear. Well the first thing is not to feel bad here. You have absolutely no determining say in the actions of others. If she is interested and my instincts say your gf is right on this one, thats not your fault and you can be held in no way ... (read in full...)
This is a rocky relationship. What should I do?
Q. Hi I am 43 years old and my partner is 48. Tonight we had an argument and I am wondering if we should break up for good? He openly admitted tonight that he chats and flirts with other women but is only interested in me cos he loves me...I am a very ...
A. 21 April 2011: Hmmmm have had a look at your other post. Not really qualified to advise on the issue there but is there any trust left in the relationship? I think that is the major problem....... (read in full...)
I cant stand my girlfriend's friends!
Q. i really cannot stand my girlfriends friends. and it's not because they gossip or stir up drama, etc. it's because they're all extremely unfaithful and really genuinely not good people. and what i've learned through my experiences in life is that ...
A. 21 April 2011: Well as you pretty much say, I think this is as much about her friends as the reflection you feel it casts her and the simple plain fact you are worried that environment will lead to unfaithfulness. Having said that I am not convinced its a sole ... (read in full...)
Is my BF a racist?
Q. Hi all, I have a issue with my man, he is half Hispanic and half white He is great and funny and sweet but there's this problem A few days ago.. He told me this racist joke Like what 3 things scares a black man away and then he said a educat...
A. 21 April 2011: There is a distinction between being what you might call a 'casual racist' which is what I think your bf is and a hard-core far-right activist which I dont think he is. Alot of people are casually racist in that they unthinkingly repeat prejudice, ... (read in full...)
Should I go back to my ex, despite my friend's opinions?
Q. Hi, so I recently broke up with my boyfriend, and we were really in love but there were just reasons that it couldn't continue. I have been hanging out with my other ex a lot lately, almost every day. He has told me that he really likes me again. I ...
A. 21 April 2011: I think the right thing here is to do what feels right for you. Dont they approve because he has a connection with the other guy??? Why are they like this?? Regardless, part of growing up is standing on your own two feet and I think this maybe your ... (read in full...)
I just don't know how to move on from a relationship with a married woman that was all lust (for her).
Q. I just don't know how to move on from a relationship with a married woman that was all lust (for her). Before I carry on I know I was in the wrong but I will not make excuses for why I did it, but I had a relationship with a married woman wh...
A. 21 April 2011: Lets start from the top. The reason she backed away, and I think you know this, is was you were getting too close for her comfort - she may feel something for you, in fact, I think she feels at least the germ of a connection but thats not enough ... (read in full...)
Weird pushy friend
Q. I have known a group of women for over 20 years. we are very close friends, they are all married but me. started dating a guy one of the women introduced me to and we hit it off in a big way and are still together. problem is one of the women (the ...
A. 21 April 2011: Your right. This should stop. I can understand what your fella is saying but she is using that gratitude to take liberties. I would say shes known him for a long time and introducing you and him was something of a selfish act to be honest, its drawn ... (read in full...)
This is a rocky relationship. What should I do?
Q. Hi I am 43 years old and my partner is 48. Tonight we had an argument and I am wondering if we should break up for good? He openly admitted tonight that he chats and flirts with other women but is only interested in me cos he loves me...I am a very ...
A. 21 April 2011: Oh dear :( thats not good at all. Did you get time to speak properly about anything even?... (read in full...)
This is a rocky relationship. What should I do?
Q. Hi I am 43 years old and my partner is 48. Tonight we had an argument and I am wondering if we should break up for good? He openly admitted tonight that he chats and flirts with other women but is only interested in me cos he loves me...I am a very ...
A. 20 April 2011: Well good luck whatever you decide....let us know how it goes!... (read in full...)
My fiance is still friends with his ex.
Q. I recently got engaged and I know we are both very much in love with each other. However, my fiance is still friends with his ex. I have never liked it, particularly because for awhile I didn't even know they were still talking. He says they are ...
A. 20 April 2011: Hmmmm ye I can see his reasons to be honest but I also see yours. The problem I would have with this is the phone stuff which may well have a totally innocent explanation but is a bit of a guilty act so I can see why that would get to you. While he ... (read in full...)
This is a rocky relationship. What should I do?
Q. Hi I am 43 years old and my partner is 48. Tonight we had an argument and I am wondering if we should break up for good? He openly admitted tonight that he chats and flirts with other women but is only interested in me cos he loves me...I am a very ...
A. 20 April 2011: Your quite welcome. The key thing is not to take this out on yourself. Easier said than done, I know especially given what you have gone through which is horrific. You have certainly reinforced my view that the last thing you need is to carry on ... (read in full...)
This is a rocky relationship. What should I do?
Q. Hi I am 43 years old and my partner is 48. Tonight we had an argument and I am wondering if we should break up for good? He openly admitted tonight that he chats and flirts with other women but is only interested in me cos he loves me...I am a very ...
A. 20 April 2011: He's only interested in you because he loves you??? Okay, so thats a new one. Problem with this line of reasoning is that doing these things means he *doesnt* love you at all. I don't think this is going to work to be honest, I dont trust him not to ... (read in full...)
How can I stop loving her?
Q. I've been seeing a co-worker for the last few months and things were going really well. She was supposed to have moved in with me last week and we'd booked appointments to look at local schools for her children. Instead we had a massive row about ...
A. 20 April 2011: Well, I think this shows how there is a big difference between intellectually accepting something and emotionally accepting something. Often, the head will take the lead I think and the heart takes its time to follow. I know it sounds clichéd but I ... (read in full...)
Should I remain friends with an ex who cheated on me while we were dating?!
Q. My Open Question: Why would he do all of that and want to be friends afterwards? During our relationship, my ex boyfriend had a one night stand at a party cos he was having problems getting it up and he thought he'd try elsewhere. he w...
A. 19 April 2011: Gotta go with most of what Dirtball says here. What he says is not *always* true of every cheating scenario *but* in this one I think it is. He didn't love you, not in the nice kind of way in any case, your obviously a nice person and he took ... (read in full...)
I still have his jacket...should I give it back?
Q. Hey, My ex broke up with me about 6 months ago- but we've had this back and forth thing where he'll call me every 2-3 months (drunk and sober) saying that he misses me, that i scare the shit out of him. There's an age difference between us I'm 2...
A. 19 April 2011: Okies, sorry, i got a wee bit confused by the reply. Its him that needs to sort his head out then. This is probably going to sound a wee bit harsh but this leads me to conclude he is actually a touch immature; not just his attitude to the ... (read in full...)
Signs of a Rebound Relationship?!?
Q. I was just wondering if my ex gf in a rebound relationship. We were together a year and 3 weeks after she was in another relationship... Here r some weird signs I've noticed... 1. She never talks about her new bf to her friends, but tal...
A. 19 April 2011: I'm 99.9% certain the answer to this question is yes. She doesnt talk about him and she doesnt confide in him and she doesnt seem to exactly relish his company so, yes you can rest assured on that one. However, and here I am in at least partial ... (read in full...)
I still have his jacket...should I give it back?
Q. Hey, My ex broke up with me about 6 months ago- but we've had this back and forth thing where he'll call me every 2-3 months (drunk and sober) saying that he misses me, that i scare the shit out of him. There's an age difference between us I'm 2...
A. 19 April 2011: Age difference? There is barely any? OK, so he wants the commitment and you dont? But then you make out like you *do*. Well then it's you who has a choice to make, because it seems to me you're using excuses to avoid committing, like the age thin... (read in full...)
I still have his jacket...should I give it back?
Q. Hey, My ex broke up with me about 6 months ago- but we've had this back and forth thing where he'll call me every 2-3 months (drunk and sober) saying that he misses me, that i scare the shit out of him. There's an age difference between us I'm 2...
A. 18 April 2011: The real question has nothing to do with the jacket at all but whether you should let go of this relationship.Before id answer that one conclusively id like a bit more info. Why do you scare him? My feeling is that there is some commitment phobia on ... (read in full...)
Does my b/f take me forgranted?
Q. Hello, I have been going out with my boyfriend for 7 months now and we are serious with each other, we have discussed the future and he said to me that he can see us togeather in the future. Okay, so my main concern is, He is at uni and is always ...
A. 18 April 2011: Is it wrong of him? I have to say no because its obviously who he is. If his ex had said different I might have given you a different answer to this but since she didnt I cant say its wrong per se. You say also he is the same with his friends which ... (read in full...)
Found a condom in my BF's wallet...but we don't use condoms!!
Q. my boyfriend and i have been togther for 3 years and i found a comdom in his wallet we don't use comdoms i ask him about it and he said he was going to use it on me i don't beleve him what sould i do...
A. 18 April 2011: Hmmm, im not convinced you should jump to conclusions with this one. There just isn't enough there in this one incident to make me feel suspicion is warranted. What he is saying could be true and frankly, even if I was in your relationship situation ... (read in full...)
My long distance boyfriend is being too distant. Please advise.
Q. My long-distance boyfriend and I have been dating for nine months (due to be ten in a few days) but lately, we've been having communication issues. I have no idea what goes on in his life. He doesn't tell me anything.. And he doesn't really a...
A. 18 April 2011: I hate to be the bearer of bad news here - but I would judge him by his actions not his words. As you are obviously aware his actions and words dont fit together and when that happens I think actions are always a better guide to true feelings, sadly ... (read in full...)
My best friend is acting so weird!!
Q. I want to help my best friend. Basically she's got this new boyfriend, but she never speaks about him. I've asked our other mates about this and they have all said the same...I find it a bit weird!! She got with this new guy not very long after sp...
A. 17 April 2011: In other words this new guy is most likely a rebound. That would explain the not talking about him and the reference back to her ex over her new bf. Its possible that the problems with regard to her parents have made her appreciate her ex even more ... (read in full...)
My friend drinks about 10 shots of vodka every night...is this an addiction?
Q. My female friend drinks about 10 shots of vodka every night..sometimes more. She does this in about a three hour span when she gets home from work. After that she appears to be very drunk. She slurrs words, hallucinates and becomes a little verbally ...
A. 17 April 2011: Is she addicted? The short answer from what you say here is 'yes'. It's an addiction in my eyes when the person in question feels they cant cope/function without alcohol and b) they cant go out without getting drunk, ie, they cant actually control ... (read in full...)
He broke up with me because he was depressed. How can I get him back?
Q. I cant think straight....my ex bf is beginning to consume my every thought. He broke up with me because he is depressed, he managed to go to a stage where he had no feelings whatsoever but one day realised that the number one problem was that...
A. 17 April 2011: Believe me when I say I can empathise. Sadly, I have no easy answers for you. This is because there is very little you can actually do. As you seem to realise this is a journey he has to take alone and there is nothing that can change that. I kn... (read in full...)
After everything, should I get back with my ex?
Q. About a year and a half ago my girlfriend of 2 years at the time began to develop on eating disorder. She works as an actress so had slot of pressure on her to look a certain. At first I told her she didn't need to and tried to stop her. It seemed ...
A. 17 April 2011: Well you have to answer the question of whether you have the same feelings for her (leaving aside what she did), if the answer is yes and you love her then I say yes. Now, turning to the question of what she did. She did put you through alot but she ... (read in full...)
How do I tell my GF that I don't want the orgy that she's looking forward to?
Q. my girlfriend really wants an orgy with 2 of her friends and their bf's + 2 other of my friends. everyone wants to do it, and we know that everyone will have a go of each other. but, i really dont want to do it. im not ashamed of my manhood,...
A. 17 April 2011: Well to be honest, I think this is a horrible situation you are in. I totally understand where you are coming from and feel for you, I really do. The first thing is this - you *must* tell her and not keep quiet on this because it could destroy the ... (read in full...)
In a loving relationship, until I found out about his facebook inboxes..
Q. I'm 19 yrs old and i'm in a relationship with a guy who i adore and love. We have been together for almost 2 years now and i never want to lose him. I used to be kind of a slut, i dated a tonne of guys and cheated on almost all of them. They were ...
A. 17 April 2011: Bless you...but...you don't know if you should be worried? His excuse is one of the most lame I have ever heard and his absolute lack of remorse doesnt speak kindly of him at all. You know this but you dont want to acknowledge whats happening and I ... (read in full...)
Love don't live here anymore
Q. My boyfriend and i have been together for 9yrs.We have 4 boys, but i know i dont love him in that way anymore. He says he still loves me, but yet he cheated on me? I know he stays for income reasons, he has none. Is it wrong and selfish that i want ...
A. 17 April 2011: Well, from a male POV I wouldnt cheat on somebody I loved. Even if you were being distant because you were starting to feel the way you say, that still does justify what he did - in fact, it shows he feels a similar way - that he doesnt love you ... (read in full...)
Not sure how to act in my bosses house
Q. hey, I'm doing this boot camp thing this week because my boss/instructor wants me to do it. and he has pulled out all the stops to enable me to do it as well, so much so that i am now staying with him and his girlfriend this week at their house. ...
A. 17 April 2011: You are worrying too much. As long as your not planning to trash the house during the stay, from what your saying here you obviously have basic common sense and basic sense of manners. Your partially right that if your on edge it could lead to ... (read in full...)
I don't like how my partner is treating our child..
Q. hi all, im 29 years old, got a little girl who i love more than anyone (14 months old) sometimes this is the problem with me and my girlfriend of 3 years. i dont look at her in the same way anymore. not because i dont fancy her or some...
A. 17 April 2011: Hmmmm it's obvious your GF resents the child and id be surprised if this was a planned pregnancy. Id also be surprised if she wanted the child. I wonder whether this decision was taken properly but hey-ho, what is done is done and now this issue has ... (read in full...)
Why did I tell him I forgive you?
Q. Basicly I dont know why Im still upset about it. well this guy i was with, we were constantly on and off he had a foul temper, he kept telling me over and over "I want you" and I kept giving him Achance and I dont even know what way it was supp...
A. 17 April 2011: This sounds like a proper mess to be honest. Why are you going back? Will I think the answer simply this - you have not resolved all the issues that arose in this relationship in your own head. Since he had a foul temper and obviously made you feel ... (read in full...)
My long distance boyfriend is being too distant. Please advise.
Q. My long-distance boyfriend and I have been dating for nine months (due to be ten in a few days) but lately, we've been having communication issues. I have no idea what goes on in his life. He doesn't tell me anything.. And he doesn't really a...
A. 17 April 2011: Well, I think you have a serious problem here and it needs sorting. None of his behaviour is particularly encouraging but you know that already or else you would not have asked this question. The real thing you need to establish is what lies at the ... (read in full...)
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