A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:So me and my boyfriend have been going out over a year at first it was great and now its all starting to go down hill. I can't trust him because he would always hang out with another girl and do things for her and I find out and when I confront him about it he gets mad and lies to me about it. He says he can't trust me but I never did anything to lose his trust. We recently broke up but got back together and want to start new. How do I learn to trust him again?
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male
reader, mrg123  +, writes (14 April 2011):
 I think the crucial question is as has been said, why cant he trust you? Does he think you will feel jealous or insecure? If so, his actions are counterproductive because he is bound to make you more so.
I think the urgent thing you need to do is TALK about this or else it will just eat away at and ultimately destroy the relationship. He can't continue to lie and you shouldn't be expected to take it. You have to know his reasons and you have to work on them together as a couple to overcome this issue because if it cant be I see it as a deal breaker ultimately.
Good luck!
A
male
reader, shawncaff +, writes (14 April 2011):
 If there is no trust, there is no future for the relationship, simple as that.
How to build trust? Trust comes from honesty, reliability and communication. However, you both have to be willing partners. If one person is honest and the other is not, no trust will be built.
So your question should rather be, can he stop lying and be honest with me? You might want to talk about why he feels the need to lie. Sound like you both have a lot of work to do.
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A
male
reader, RamAndJam +, writes (14 April 2011):
this is a uphill battle. whenever people start thinking like this it is usually a bad sign and in general will never change. my parents were like this for years until they admitted defeat and seperated. my advice would be to split your chips and head a different way. find someone you dont feel as if would cheat. these feelings will never completely go away.
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