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... Send *rg123 a private message | | | *rg123's profile:I am a 30 y/o Male from Peterborough. I have a experience of life and more relationships than I would like to be honest. What makes me tick is a complicated question. Enjoy writing about various issues.
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| Latest articles: Is life 'uncomplicated' for singletons?
This question has 4 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
31 July 2011: Single life, we are told in any case, is the life of riley. However, if you look at the questions on this website and were too do a survey of the martial status of the questioners I bet just as many would turn out to be single as do attached, in ...
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Am I being too hard on myself? What can I do to accept this situation I'm in?
Q. I consider myself some who isn't dependant on having a relationship, but rather someone who is happier in a relationship. My ex girlfriend of 6 months is much the same as me, however, unlike me, she got involved in a new relationship just weeks ...
A. 20 August 2011: I think that is exactly the right attitude to have, although it will be hard sometimes, I am sure you will get through. Good luck :)... (read in full...)
Am I being too hard on myself? What can I do to accept this situation I'm in?
Q. I consider myself some who isn't dependant on having a relationship, but rather someone who is happier in a relationship. My ex girlfriend of 6 months is much the same as me, however, unlike me, she got involved in a new relationship just weeks ...
A. 19 August 2011: I dont think its cowardly at all, its natural to a large degree. I think the trick then is to simply say 'what will be, will be' and see how it goes but you need to adopt that attitude to any new relationship as well, I tend to find, no matter what ... (read in full...)
Am I being too hard on myself? What can I do to accept this situation I'm in?
Q. I consider myself some who isn't dependant on having a relationship, but rather someone who is happier in a relationship. My ex girlfriend of 6 months is much the same as me, however, unlike me, she got involved in a new relationship just weeks ...
A. 18 August 2011: In that case I would say largely yes it's a question of time and being a bit less hard on yourself. Asking how long it takes to recover from what obviously was a painful break-up is a bit like asking how long is a piece of string, there is no ... (read in full...)
Am I being too hard on myself? What can I do to accept this situation I'm in?
Q. I consider myself some who isn't dependant on having a relationship, but rather someone who is happier in a relationship. My ex girlfriend of 6 months is much the same as me, however, unlike me, she got involved in a new relationship just weeks ...
A. 16 August 2011: Well I think that explains something because you obviously still cared for her and the end was kind of imposed on you by outside circumstances. Your doubts about her honesty are understandable give the rapidity of her entrance into a new ... (read in full...)
Why is he asking me this question?
Q. A quick question for everyone. I have a school age daughter who has learning disabilities and needs extra lessons at home. Why would my married male friend ask me if I have to stay with her when she has her lessons? Why would he be interested in...
A. 15 August 2011: I dont know you know, I can imagine asking that question in the course of perfectly innocent conversation. He isn't necessarily inquiring over your availability is he? I guess it depends on the context of what he said, but I would be weary of ... (read in full...)
Am I being too hard on myself? What can I do to accept this situation I'm in?
Q. I consider myself some who isn't dependant on having a relationship, but rather someone who is happier in a relationship. My ex girlfriend of 6 months is much the same as me, however, unlike me, she got involved in a new relationship just weeks ...
A. 15 August 2011: Your welcome :)
I wonder how did the relationship end? Is it possible that you have issue unresolved concerning that? Something seems to have you effected you badly about this relationship and maybe that is why your finding it so hard to move on?... (read in full...)
Will I ALWAYS be single?
Q. I am 28 and I only had sex with one man (we had a short relationship when I was 23 - he was 50). He broke my heart very bad. I haven't been able to be in a relationship ever since, just online flirting which turned out it lead to nothing serious. ...
A. 14 August 2011: Nothing is wrong with you at all. If you put your hand in a flame and get burnt, people usually aren't that keen to repeat the experience and that is simply what is happening with you. You got burned and are understandably reluctant to risk the ... (read in full...)
Does it mean that she doesn't care?
Q. Hi,i am an average young guy who always wanted a girl i could spend my entire life with but i'm the shy type.i met this girl about 5months ago in class and we have been friends since then,i we do call/text each other,then i started having feelings ...
A. 13 August 2011: I'm going to come out and say it, I think you should find someone who is better than this for yourself. I know its hard, and I know its easy for me to say that but try and step back a second and look at how shes treating you. Not very well at all, ... (read in full...)
Am I being too hard on myself? What can I do to accept this situation I'm in?
Q. I consider myself some who isn't dependant on having a relationship, but rather someone who is happier in a relationship. My ex girlfriend of 6 months is much the same as me, however, unlike me, she got involved in a new relationship just weeks ...
A. 12 August 2011: The odds are what people are telling you is right, unless she was doing things behind your back, she's in a rebound relationship which is highly unlikely to last. Having said that, I feel your pain, because I am in a pretty similar boat. My ex has a ... (read in full...)
Why does my friend act this way after a break up?
Q. My best friend treats her rejection or endings with a guy in probably the most stupidest way! And i want to know why, even she said she doesn't know why she does it but it helps her in some way... which can't be good? When a guy has treated her ...
A. 11 August 2011: Well it takes all sorts to make the world turn and as long as your friend isnt cheating on somebody I struggle to find much reprehensible in her actions from what you say. In fact, 'getting over somebody by getting under somebody else' is quite ... (read in full...)
What does it mean to be SETTLING
Q. Please tell me if I am settling or am I getting the definitiopn of settling wrong? My boyfriend's drive for a job is not as strong as I am. He was born with a silver spoon in his mouth and was raised spoilt. Everything he does he gonna be pushed ...
A. 10 August 2011: Anon,
Good to hear. Glad you are. Sorry if I sounded harsh.....its just i can understand his excitement over *any* job being unemployed myself...its a good sign really because at least it shows he wants to work....... (read in full...)
What does it mean to be SETTLING
Q. Please tell me if I am settling or am I getting the definitiopn of settling wrong? My boyfriend's drive for a job is not as strong as I am. He was born with a silver spoon in his mouth and was raised spoilt. Everything he does he gonna be pushed ...
A. 10 August 2011: Right okies, I think you need to understand his perspective a bit better here to be honest. For example, you say....
"I got him a correctioner officer job interview and he is so excited about it. I am making tripple the salary a year and this man... (read in full...)
5 years of dating we break up over silly argument and now I'm all mixed up
Q. Im literally torn been with my ex boyfriend for 5 years got 2 beautiful kids together, we do have our ups and downs but on the weekend we just had a silly argument which resulted in him not coming back all night! i texted him the next day asking for ...
A. 9 August 2011: I am sorry to hear what happened. My first question though is what was the argument about? It's a bit hard to tell completely what is going on here without that. Assuming its as insignificant as you say though what may well have happened is that ... (read in full...)
She told me that she doesn't want to hurt me...what does it mean?
Q. So me and this girl have huge attractions toward each other and I am thinking more of sex and **** buddy and friends benefits...and whatever happens down the road, ie: a relationship or more I would be open to it. She seems down at first, but then ...
A. 8 August 2011: Its all a bit vauge this one and a number of possibilities suggest themselves. However, one of them is that possibility is that she thinks you want a relationship and she doesnt. Maybe shes thinking the same as you, FWB and because she thinks you ... (read in full...)
How can we rely solely on my income? Is boyfriend careless or lazy?
Q. My boyfriend and I have been dating for almost four months and things are going fairly well, but like most relationships, can be improved. In my case, it is about work. When we got together, he was starting a new job which was pretty well paid. ...
A. 6 August 2011: I think your being too hard on him. I say this mainly on the basis of this sentence:
This has annoyed me as *much as him*.
My emphasis. If he was work-shy then it wouldn't annoy him. I have to confess I am more naturally predisposed to s... (read in full...)
Is it just sex for him?
Q. hi this is my problem me and my sex buddy (a guy) have been having sex for 5 months now i have feelings for him and he knows that he says he likes me to but im not really sure he does he,s been hurt and i also have been before we met the problem is ...
A. 5 August 2011: I often think this is the potential problem with these kinds of arrangements. They are fine as long as both parties are clear what the state of play is and that's what they want. However, the chances of you developing feelings for somebody you share ... (read in full...)
Weird dreams about him?
Q. Okay, so, for about a month and a half leading up to the end of the school year this year, I was talking to and getting to know this guy. I really, really like him and have for a while and by the time school was out I was pretty sure he liked me ...
A. 4 August 2011: Dreams can be pretty complicated things but I think this one is straight as a die. I think your probably right about the worry they reflect but they may also reflect a feeling on your part that this guy is a 'missed opportunity'. I think the best ... (read in full...)
Was I wrong to ask her friend first and what should I do?
Q. I have known a girl for a long time now (lets say b),people thought we were dating but we were not.I asked her friend( b's friend)if b was happy about what people said and she said no. Two months later,I asked b personally how she feels about wh...
A. 3 August 2011: Well, I guess she feels like you were talking about her behind her back, and she already seems to have been irritated by other people doing that so I can see her point. However, I feel that for you, the real question you were asking was 'does she ... (read in full...)
I don't want to ask him anything and scare him off.
Q. What does this mean? does he still love me? does he want me back? My ex boyfriend and I. Were great together, so happy. But we split up 4months ago. cos he said he didn't want a relationship anymore. We got chatting and he told me to move on an...
A. 2 August 2011: Well he could be just being friendly but I would tend to think he is currently in that zone where things are a bit blurry between being friendly and being something else. The most obvious question that springs to mind is 'why'? as in, why didnt he ... (read in full...)
I don't know how to deal with these feelings I've developed for my boyfriend's friend!
Q. I don't know what to do . I've been with my boyfriend for 3 years and I really love him but the romance has disappeared between us in addition to any sexual chemistry ( on my part) .Recently I've begun to develop feelings for his friend and I don't ...
A. 1 August 2011: It sounds like you have reached the stage of loving him but not being 'in love with him'. In that you obviously care for this guy as a person, don't want to hurt his feelings etc, etc, but no longer love him in the sense that you want to be in a ... (read in full...)
Is life 'uncomplicated' for singletons?
Q. Single life, we are told in any case, is the life of riley. However, if you look at the questions on this website and were too do a survey of the martial status of the questioners I bet just as many would turn out to be single as do attached, in ...
A. 1 August 2011: Angel,
Indeed we do miss out on some things though as you point out having a break from relationships after a run of bad ones is usually a good plan. Some people invariably do thrive off of being single and find converse to this they are at their... (read in full...)
Is life 'uncomplicated' for singletons?
Q. Single life, we are told in any case, is the life of riley. However, if you look at the questions on this website and were too do a survey of the martial status of the questioners I bet just as many would turn out to be single as do attached, in ...
A. 31 July 2011: Wordly,
I wouldn't say it makes you a coward no, it's a case of different horses for different courses isn't it, some people are perfectly happy single, so dont worry about it :)... (read in full...)
I took him back, but I don't love him anymore.
Q. I've been with my husband going on 12yrs. this Aug. we been married going on 9yr. we have 4 little boys. what i need is a mans view,we were arguing a lot but nothing serious,or so i thought,well he left me for a girl who ive never met ,but he was ...
A. 31 July 2011: Well I think there are serious issues in your relationship that need addressing. Why did he go with somebody else? You obviously need to sort that out for a start, find out why and deal with the issues that caused that. What were you arguing about? ... (read in full...)
Torn between two guys. I'm SO confused, what do I do?!
Q. Dear Cupid, So lately I'm really confused. I've been single for 8 months and started talking to two guys just as friends. Then it turned out I started liking them both. I kind of therew off the older one since he'll be in college, but he tells me...
A. 30 July 2011: You will I am totally sure of it :) if your struggling, why not write down the pros and cons of each or something, it often helps clear our mind to codify ie, write it down because it forces you to organise express it :) your welcome :)... (read in full...)
Torn between two guys. I'm SO confused, what do I do?!
Q. Dear Cupid, So lately I'm really confused. I've been single for 8 months and started talking to two guys just as friends. Then it turned out I started liking them both. I kind of therew off the older one since he'll be in college, but he tells me...
A. 30 July 2011: Hey :),
I've been there. My last ex was exactly like that and I can totally assure you that you are behaving nothing like him. What he did to you has obviously weary of committing yourself for totally understandable reasons because you invested... (read in full...)
Torn between two guys. I'm SO confused, what do I do?!
Q. Dear Cupid, So lately I'm really confused. I've been single for 8 months and started talking to two guys just as friends. Then it turned out I started liking them both. I kind of therew off the older one since he'll be in college, but he tells me...
A. 30 July 2011: I think your just scared and you need to work through the fear. Something tells me you were burnt in your last relationship?... (read in full...)
Torn between two guys. I'm SO confused, what do I do?!
Q. Dear Cupid, So lately I'm really confused. I've been single for 8 months and started talking to two guys just as friends. Then it turned out I started liking them both. I kind of therew off the older one since he'll be in college, but he tells me...
A. 30 July 2011: In many ways, I think being single is more complicated than being with somebody because your faced with finding the right connection and testing them all out to see which one develops. Right, I think your confusion actually stems from the same ... (read in full...)
What does this dream mean? I'm scared to sleep in case it happens again!
Q. Hello everyone. Last night when I went to sleep, no dream no nothing, and this morning I wake up, and i got out for a bit, theb went back to bed rough two hours later. I had felt it was needed. Then about an hour later, I'm waking up screaming and ...
A. 29 July 2011: Well I think we need to know a bit more. He may not be violent but if he does actually do drugs, this maybe a straight product of a fear you have. Alternatively, he may not have been violent to you but has somebody else you intimately related too ... (read in full...)
Am I being a drama queen? I threw him about because of his flirting with this girl and his dream about having sex with her!
Q. i have been with my boyfriend for over a year. a few months a go this girl he used to work with text him saying her boyfriend dumped her she'd sent it to her phone book slagging him off so didnt think anything of it .then a few days later when he ...
A. 28 July 2011: I am a bit surprised your family have taken that line. Have you detailed all the other things? As bandit said, he was lying about contact with her, dreaming about her and not very far from cheating on you with her. You did totally the right thing to ... (read in full...)
Should I hold back my feelings out of fear?
Q. I desperately want to tell him my feelings but I hold back out of fear of rejection. I am afraid that he doesn't feel as strongly about me as i do about him. We have never expressed our love but i feel his actions show otherwise. He is married ...
A. 27 July 2011: Well, leaving aside the marriage issue for the moment (come back to that later because you can't sweep it under the carpet), I would say it seems he does have strong feelings for you. It seems to me he like he's 'fishing'; he's afraid of the same ... (read in full...)
Are thee any feelings there or was it all an act? Where did I go wrong?
Q. now i want you to know... my ex is bipolar. so confused someone help. my ex gf came over the other night and hung out with me when she got out of work. was a little past midnight and we ended up talking and hanging out till about 3:30 or 4....
A. 27 July 2011: Seems like shes pushing you away on purpose. She probably has low self-esteem. It's really up to you what you do with this one and depends how much independent of what she says you love her. ... (read in full...)
Are thee any feelings there or was it all an act? Where did I go wrong?
Q. now i want you to know... my ex is bipolar. so confused someone help. my ex gf came over the other night and hung out with me when she got out of work. was a little past midnight and we ended up talking and hanging out till about 3:30 or 4....
A. 26 July 2011: Well, firstly, I am glad she's ok. I have to say I have experiences in this area too though she wasn't an ex as such; just a close but often complicated friend. What Cindy says is an accurate reflection of how things can be. You do have to look out ... (read in full...)
I have a boyfriend but am crushing on a friend. Do I act on it?
Q. So I'm in a very happy relationship with my boyfriend of 3 years. We love each other and don't ever plan to break up. However, I've had a crush on one of his friends from school for longer than I've been with my boyfriend, and it's really been ...
A. 26 July 2011: Personally, I think it is a bad idea to try why your in a relationship because I can see it so easily becoming a slippery slope which, especially if he does return those feelings, you will end up cascading down at quite a pace. If everything is as ... (read in full...)
Are thee any feelings there or was it all an act? Where did I go wrong?
Q. now i want you to know... my ex is bipolar. so confused someone help. my ex gf came over the other night and hung out with me when she got out of work. was a little past midnight and we ended up talking and hanging out till about 3:30 or 4....
A. 25 July 2011: I can imagine to be honest; that is very worrying and I was thinking it which is why I asked about the social media activity? Do you know her address? Might be worth going round. ... (read in full...)
Are thee any feelings there or was it all an act? Where did I go wrong?
Q. now i want you to know... my ex is bipolar. so confused someone help. my ex gf came over the other night and hung out with me when she got out of work. was a little past midnight and we ended up talking and hanging out till about 3:30 or 4....
A. 25 July 2011: Well I would tend to say the answer to this is probably startlingly obvious. I read the first line and was about to mention the fact that the moods of people with bi-polar be very changeable BUT this clearly has nothing to do with that. She made so ... (read in full...)
Is he a cheater or not?
Q. i been with my boyfriend about 5 years now wwe have a son together ... to get to the point isever since i had my son i feel fat which is normal but i miss beeing in my size 5 pants and i hate wearing size 9 my breast got huge i us to be a c now im a ...
A. 24 July 2011: Right, from what I can tell, there is no reason for you to assume your partner is cheating other than the fact that he adds girls on Facebook? This is nowhere near enough to say he's a cheater. In fact, what I think is driving your fear's is your ... (read in full...)
I really like her but she's always telling me about other guys
Q. OK, I've been friends with this girl, (Donna) for about 4-5 months. I liked her ever since i met her, she's goofy, cute, and all the above... i think I'm in love with her.. All i can do is think about how amazing she is all day and night.. I can't ...
A. 23 July 2011: Your welcome...let us know how it goes :)... (read in full...)
I really like her but she's always telling me about other guys
Q. OK, I've been friends with this girl, (Donna) for about 4-5 months. I liked her ever since i met her, she's goofy, cute, and all the above... i think I'm in love with her.. All i can do is think about how amazing she is all day and night.. I can't ...
A. 23 July 2011: Hmmm it's a tricky one this one because she is sending you mixed signals. To me, and maybe this is a personal thing, holding hand's is more intimacy than friendship entails and so is kissing (depending on type, tongues and full-frontal is, pecks ... (read in full...)
I was sexting another man behind my husband's back and now he has found out....how do I make this right?
Q. I am a happily married woman with two beautiful children. I became overweight after having my kids and have always had selfesteem issues. Although people constantly tell me I have such a pretty face I struggle with body image. Recently a man at work ...
A. 22 July 2011: Well, your now going to have to engage in the long hard, slog to win back your husbands complete trust and that is going to take as well as patient communication alot of time. I think in your instance it might be worth examining slightly why you ... (read in full...)
Together 8 months and B/f still has no idea if he loves me?
Q. Me and my boyfriend have been together 8 months now and he still has no clue if he loves me and I would do anything to have him say he loves me back and I never nag him to love me cause I want it all to come naturally when its time but its really ...
A. 21 July 2011: Well I think you need to get to the bottom of what is causing this blockage. You say this may well be because he is having problems recognising what he feels but it seems more likely, as you both seem to acknowledge, he is simply afraid of ... (read in full...)
I hate her, and want revenge for what she did to me...what do I do with these feelings?
Q. Hi Aunts, Long story short, a woman I met lied to me, took money from me, and treated me like dirt. She refuses to acknowledge she did anything wrong. I gave her about $5000 because she said she was in dire need. She led me on. Turns out she was ...
A. 20 July 2011: Your feelings are totally understandable and to a large degree natural. If we are hurt, the impulse to hurt back is actually a natural defence mechanism; the idea being that if we hurt the aggressor back they will leave us alone. Obviously, when it ... (read in full...)
Why does my BF go quiet after we have seen each other and are getting closer?
Q. Dear all, Please help. I have been seeing my bf for around four months. We have got closer than ever recently, but I have found that when we spend some nice quality time together and he is loving and caring, he throws a spanner in the works a f...
A. 20 July 2011: Hiya :),
Yes I think it would. He is obviously not just going into a cave as much as also forming a protective shell round himself and his feelings *as well* as going into his cave. In that sense I wouldn't worry about this too much; just talk to ... (read in full...)
Why does my BF go quiet after we have seen each other and are getting closer?
Q. Dear all, Please help. I have been seeing my bf for around four months. We have got closer than ever recently, but I have found that when we spend some nice quality time together and he is loving and caring, he throws a spanner in the works a f...
A. 19 July 2011: This does sound a bit odd but it could have a number of explanations; not necessarily the worst one which I tend to think your leaping to assume it is. It could actually be that he is carrying some baggage from previous relationships or that he ... (read in full...)
Is it love, or is it loneliness?
Q. Love or loneliness? When I finally decided to tell her my feelings, she asked me if I really liked her or if I really liked being with her. Honestly, I couldn't think of an answer, and I still can't answer that. She says that she was worried that...
A. 18 July 2011: Peoples emotions in general can be more obvious than we tend to acknowledge ourselves because we are the ones sending them out. I tend to think there are just various degrees to which people mask them; obviously your one of the kind of people who ... (read in full...)
I can't figure out his feelings towards me
Q. hi heres my problem i like this man but he has been very hurt before he says he doesnt want a relationship as he has just split up with someone after 10 year nearly a year ago now i really like him we started seeing each other for 2 month and it was ...
A. 17 July 2011: You could well be right re his withdrawal from your relationship but I do have to say I find the whole watching/slowing down thing kind-of creepy to be honest; especially as you seem to intimate he doesn't do it when other people are around you. ... (read in full...)
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