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... Send *rg123 a private message | | | *rg123's profile:I am a 30 y/o Male from Peterborough. I have a experience of life and more relationships than I would like to be honest. What makes me tick is a complicated question. Enjoy writing about various issues.
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| Latest articles: Is life 'uncomplicated' for singletons?
This question has 4 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
31 July 2011: Single life, we are told in any case, is the life of riley. However, if you look at the questions on this website and were too do a survey of the martial status of the questioners I bet just as many would turn out to be single as do attached, in ...
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Should I move to my ex's city?
Q. Ok, so here's the situation my ex and I have been broken up for over 9 months now. We were in a LDR and there were plans for me to move to her city. But since we're broken up obviously those plans fell apart. The problem is that I love the city that ...
A. 22 June 2011: I'm bound to ask why seeing her is a problem if your that indifferent. I totally believe you when you say you have no intention or desire to mend the relationship but it seems to me you still have a little, possibly not totally fully-healed scar ... (read in full...)
Does my friend's girlfriend like me? Does she want to be more than friends?
Q. i used to really like my friends gf. at one point i thought i loved her. were really good friends with each other better friends than i am with her bf. i thought she used to like me cause she always put hello you and things like that on fb when ...
A. 21 June 2011: It's possible there are two separate issues here - namely 1)does she like you and 2) should you do anything about it. Let's start with 1, I see no evidence she likes you as anything other than a very good friend. For example, I say 'hey you' to at ... (read in full...)
Should I talk to her again? Would this upset her?
Q. It is really hard to follow my heart because I am torn between two big emotions in my head. I have no idea what to do with her. I want to talk to her but I don't know how to face to her anymore after everthing happened between me and her. We don't ...
A. 20 June 2011: Well if your telling of her responses is accurate I am not overly convinced she knows what she wants. On the other hand it is possible your reading what you want into her emotions because deep down you obviously do want to talk to her. Having said ... (read in full...)
How can I get him to be less distant?
Q. I have recently starting going out with this guy called Bob* I do like him but he is so distances he doesn’t hug me or anything, I think due to that I’ve started thinking about my last ex called Ash* I think about Ash at night the most considering ...
A. 19 June 2011: Well, as you rightly recognise, you solve the second problem by dealing with the first. Something is lacking in your current relationship so naturally you are thinking of your last one - although there maybe unresolved issues also from your last ... (read in full...)
Does it sound like my ex is trying to patch things up?
Q. So, my ex and I broke up about a few weeks ago for various reasons. In the end, us breaking up was kind of a combined effort so neither of us can blame the other saying 'You ended it' or 'This is your fault'. We've kept contact all througho...
A. 19 June 2011: Hiya,
Well I think these problems are solvable to be honest. An hour away isnt a huge distance in the grand scheme of things. For example, why don't you take it in turns to travel, you could use public transport? In any case, it seems to me you a... (read in full...)
Does it sound like my ex is trying to patch things up?
Q. So, my ex and I broke up about a few weeks ago for various reasons. In the end, us breaking up was kind of a combined effort so neither of us can blame the other saying 'You ended it' or 'This is your fault'. We've kept contact all througho...
A. 18 June 2011: Well the short answer to this question is yes I think. He definitely seems to be trying to sending you subtle signals that he wants to be back with you. It seems to me he is feeling a bit like you - he wants to be back together but is scared of ... (read in full...)
According to the rules of dating, should I text my bf to tell him whenever I am going out?
Q. I just want to know what are the rules of dating? Am i supposed to let the person know when I'm going out or not?...simple as that..I'm dating a guy but I'm not sure if he's serious cuz I always am the one who texts him no matter what and he texts ...
A. 18 June 2011: Well I have to admit I don't like the premise there are hard fast rules, other than obvious things like don't cheat etc. In this instance I am going to have to ahead and say 'no' - I wouldn't go out of your way to say your going out. He's your ... (read in full...)
My pregnant partner seems to have broken up with me over a lost phone! Surely this cant be the real reason?
Q. im 34 and my x partner now for 3 weeks, has after 4 years of a rocky relationship, though very loving when its just us. We have a 2 and half year old daughter together who we love deeply, and a boy each from our previous relationships, her boy 6 ...
A. 17 June 2011: Well I can tell from the end you either a) think shes met someone else or b) think shes having second thoughts about the baby or the baby is the catalyst for this sudden departure. Really, I think your more concerned about a and I included b because ... (read in full...)
Cheated on my girlfriend, in love with the other woman and my girlfriend is pregnant!
Q. I am in a sad situation and don't know what to do. In October of last year I met a woman on the internet. We started seeing each other and things were going well. I thought I was falling in love with her. Then a monkey wrench came alone in the form ...
A. 17 June 2011: @Anon,
Where as I suppose your GF would be over the moon if she found out youd been cheating on her for god knows how long and are planning a future with another woman. I can understand not wanting to hurt your GF but hey, we are a bit beyond t... (read in full...)
Why doesn't my boyfriend feel comfortable with me wantimg a threesome knowing I'm bisexual?
Q. i have a boyfriend who i love and he loves me to and i wouldnt try to change him in anyway..! i like guys and girls and i have dealt with females my whole life but slowed down at 19... (im 23) but a few months ago i told my bf i like girls and h...
A. 17 June 2011: Hiya,
I think your barking up the wrong tree here. I honestly don't think its your bisexuality he's not comfortable with. I think its the thought of you having sex with somebody else and this shows one thing, that he cares about you deeply, ... (read in full...)
Cheated on my girlfriend, in love with the other woman and my girlfriend is pregnant!
Q. I am in a sad situation and don't know what to do. In October of last year I met a woman on the internet. We started seeing each other and things were going well. I thought I was falling in love with her. Then a monkey wrench came alone in the form ...
A. 16 June 2011: Well its good you recognise you have caused this mess because you have. Since you have made this admission I dont see any point browbeating you. Lets start from the top. I really dont think your doing your girlfriend or your child any favours by ... (read in full...)
I found out he was married after 3 years, he thinks I will take him back! How do I make him see its over?
Q. I split from my ex a while back now because I suddenly had my eyes opened to what a nasty horrible dispicable selfish personn he is-found out after 3 years he is married amongst hundreds of other twisted lies. If I'm honest, I'm not sure if I'm over...
A. 15 June 2011: Heya, Well therein lies your problem really, you aren't over him and are showing that in refusing to go the whole nine yards when it comes to things like the police. This is a huuuuuge problem because it's a weakness he is exploiting. It a... (read in full...)
Getting seriously mixed signals. What is up?
Q. Alright guys. I have a boyfriendish thing. We're currently on it's complicated. But this isn't about him. It's about one of my guy friends.. So we met at work. We hung out once and he ended up getting me to smoke weed for the first time with him...
A. 14 June 2011: Heya,
I like the way you slip naturally into self-defining your relationship by Facebook categories!
Anywayyyyy to your problem. I think you scared him off basically, I think the whole f**k buddy thing said you probably weren't into commitment ... (read in full...)
How do I get the images of his ex out of my head?
Q. How do I get the images of his ex out of my head? When I'm awake I'm constantly thinking out it. I'm not even sure why or what's bothering me about it. It never normally has. People have pasts and that's how life is so why is this getting to me so ...
A. 14 June 2011: Heyyyy,
Pure fluke I wandered onto this one lol. I can see your having real problems with this relationship and I think as you said elsewhere it stems from your previous one (not so much his previous one). I suspect his ex bothers you because ... (read in full...)
Does he want to get back together or just tell me how he feels?
Q. So my Ex broke up with me 9 months ago Because we used to fight a lot mainly due to my constant jealousy and controlling such problems. After split we were in contact for 3-4 months Because I wanted to work on things and maybe try to get back ...
A. 14 June 2011: Back,
Ye your right on that one but then again sometimes he seems to temporise this and add 'for now' which is a mixed signal. He needs to decide what he wants. Well thats the rub isnt it, he's not convinced you have changed at all and that's w... (read in full...)
I feel as though I'm not good enough for him, should I try changing?
Q. I've not felt like this for a while but I'm starting to think I'm not good enough. My boyfriend reassures me that I am however there's something in the back of my mind that's screaming 'you're not his type'. Do people really have a type? and if so ...
A. 14 June 2011: Emjo,
I think you have pretty much hit the nail on the head. You just need to remember that although he may not vocalise it as much - something you seem to like - I am totally sure your new boyfriend is just as into you as your old one and that... (read in full...)
I feel as though I'm not good enough for him, should I try changing?
Q. I've not felt like this for a while but I'm starting to think I'm not good enough. My boyfriend reassures me that I am however there's something in the back of my mind that's screaming 'you're not his type'. Do people really have a type? and if so ...
A. 13 June 2011: Emjo, Well first things first, its good that your boyfriend is reassuring you. Obviously, I would say that the problem is with your own self-image so thats we need to work in. You say you feel your 'not his type', as in, do you mean your not go... (read in full...)
Does he want to get back together or just tell me how he feels?
Q. So my Ex broke up with me 9 months ago Because we used to fight a lot mainly due to my constant jealousy and controlling such problems. After split we were in contact for 3-4 months Because I wanted to work on things and maybe try to get back ...
A. 13 June 2011: Back, I think there is a lot of confusion now and the fact is to my mind is that its hard to tell what either of you want because im not entirely sure either of you is actually entirely sure what you want. You havent talked much about yourself a... (read in full...)
I'm tired of being accused of cheating. What can I do about my BF's jealousy?
Q. My boyfriend of two years has a "trust problem". Every time he sees me with another guy (like a coworker) he thinks up little scenarios of what I could be doing to cheat on him. He tells me this about once a month and this last time he told me I ...
A. 12 June 2011: Heya, I feel for you because I have been in this position - it was so bad we would go out and I could be accused of checking girls out for happening to look up or simply in the wrong direction. The important thing you have to remember is that... (read in full...)
Paranoid about a "psychic's" prediction....
Q. To make a long story short, A psychic told me some things. It was just for fun I wasn't trying to find out real life answers... Then she tells me that my bf already has or will meet some girl. She described a petite blonde and said she is personab...
A. 11 June 2011: This doesn't sound genuine - basically, what leads me to that conclusion is this 'The psychic said the girl is more attractive and nicer than me...' now even if they had legitimately made the prediction, following it with those remarks is just ... (read in full...)
We flirted and talked on a bus trip. Now he avoids me like the plague. Why?
Q. Recently I went on a trip to France with my school and there was a guy I really liked on the trip. So it was like a 16 coach journey and because seating was alphabetical I was sat next to him. We spent the entire journey there talking and casually ...
A. 11 June 2011: Given what school is like - full of tittle-tattle and gossip - and you specified he 'looked at you in a judging way' I would imagine what has happened is quite clear. Somebody has been telling tales behind your back and put him off. Maybe a j... (read in full...)
Problems with my boyfriend's parents
Q. I don't know why but I seem to have a problem with my boyfriends parents...? I've been with my boy for nearly two years and live with him in a my family owned flat in London where I'm studying. I was living in halls before but hated it so I ended up...
A. 11 June 2011: Well I have to be brutally honest, I think your all too cramped together and that is the problem. I can understand your annoyed about seeing your mum less but on the other hand thats surely a natural result of your living situation not conscious ... (read in full...)
Should I confess to my husband?
Q. I have been married for 3 yrs and have a little boy. I have not been happy in my marriage for a few years now, just feel as though I'm not appreciated and feel tied to the kitchen sink. Recently I have been confiding in a male friend at work and ...
A. 10 June 2011: I basically endorse what Caring Guy has said to you. I think in terms of the rights/wrongs in general this can be a bit of a grey area but in this instance you should come clean. You need a clear slate and you wont get that, even if what Caring Guy ... (read in full...)
I asked a girl out and now she has told everyone at school I'm a lesbian!
Q. yesterday , i asked this girl out, im a girl too and im lesbian shes bi or something, i asked her in private and she was like maybe, no then now its maybe. im not openly gay yet and only my frends know. but today everyone found out,because the girl...
A. 10 June 2011: Well i'm sorry for this because this girl has behaved in a bad way and has betrayed your trust and confidence. Having said that, this leaves you in a bad situation. At least your friends know so it wont be a shock to them and cause any issues there ... (read in full...)
Am I gay?
Q. When i masturbate and do this to gay porn, it seems to turn me on so much more and my orgasm would be a lot better and more "pumpy" than when i do it to heterosexual porn. Does this mean i'm gay? I have a girlfriend and she turns me on perfectly ...
A. 10 June 2011: I would say your obviously bi-sexual if you can be aroused by both the thought of homosexual sex and also heterosexual sex. ... (read in full...)
Is there anything I can do to get him to talk to me again because I really miss his company?
Q. This boy used to like me but he stopped talking to me because me and his friend are sort of enemy's and if he talks to me he feels like he's betraying him. I've always kinda of liked him but today he got dared to hug me and I know he didn't do it ...
A. 10 June 2011: Its one of my favourite truisms that you *can* pretty much make people say anything you want, but you cant make them *do* anything. So, I am a little puzzled as to why you think he didnt hug you willingly, you may have sensed reluctance because of ... (read in full...)
Why does he express his love so frequently?
Q. My new boyfriend is really into me. We don't get much time together as we live apart so when we do, we treasure every minute. He cooks for me, and we make each other happy. One thing , however, is that he repeats very often throughout my stay that ...
A. 9 June 2011: I think its a combination of two things - the newness of the relationship and him over compensating for the time you dont have together. The first thing may lose its edge with time. The second thing is just over keenness and if its really irritating ... (read in full...)
Are guys who like damsel in distress girl bad type of people?
Q. [English as a second language speaker here] There's a girl in my class which I haven't found attractive before. In fact, I thought she's loud and annoying. Today she asked me a question about the assignment. Me being one of the smart kids in th...
A. 9 June 2011: Errr no you certainly dont sound like one to me. There are a class of people who do prey on vulnerability but I would tend to think they are unlikely to ask a question like this in the first place. All I get from what I see in this question is your ... (read in full...)
My girlfriend is a nightmare. Is this normal?
Q. I Have been going out with my GF for a few years She is Controlling Possessive Paranoid Moody Childish Doesnt let me see my friends Checks my phone Checks my emails Checks my facebook The reason she does all this is because I have...
A. 9 June 2011: I've been in a relationship exactly like this but ive also been in ones not like it so is it normal, the answer has to be no. Does it mean she doesnt love you? Not necessarily, no, she can still love you and be this way. However, it does mean she ... (read in full...)
What does this dream mean please?
Q. What do you think this means? i was so in love:)? All my life every guy that I get involve with breaks my heart and leaves me. But am a nice girl with a good heart. Loyal, honest, caring, loving. Friendly, cheerful. My recent ex bf ch...
A. 9 June 2011: Well I think you are kinda answering your own question here. It was less a dream and more a fantasy. You feel cheated and used and you have been. You also, rightly, obviously feel that your exs have only ever appreciated you are errr well a female ... (read in full...)
I had a distrurbing dream. What could it mean?
Q. Even though this isn't a relationship question, I would like to know if anyone knowledgeable is willing to help me interpret a very vivid dream I had recently. I dreamed that I saw two formidable looking snakes. I was standing by my front door an...
A. 8 June 2011: Well, this may be more of a relationship question than you think because snakes can represent sex and sexual desires and/or fear so.....it could also stand for a repressed desire. The fact that they were two distinct in appearance but hunted as a ... (read in full...)
Why do I feel like I've been cursed?
Q. Why does this keep happening to me? what is wrong with me? I can't keep anything down:( I feel so depressed, frustrated and extremely stressed out. I've been looking for a job for 3years now no luck..I've been on numbers on interviews wh...
A. 27 May 2011: Heya, Right, lets start from the top. Your not the only one who is finding it hard. I have been out of work for nearly as long as you and have had similar experiences to yourself. Especially right now with the economy as it is its really tough out... (read in full...)
Should I just not argue ever with him?
Q. I had an argument with my boyfriend and he told me he has enough stress to deal with from his ex wife, he didn’t want more from me and that I was starting to sound like her. So I should like never argue and always be agreeable just because he has ...
A. 26 May 2011: The short answer is, of course, no you should not. Bottling your frustrations and feelings up is never going to be healthy for you or ultimately the relationship. In this specific case its impossible to assess the validity of his claims BUT it seems ... (read in full...)
LDR boyfriend and I got into heated argument on the phone. Should I apologize?
Q. I've been in a long distance relationship on and off for about a year and a half! I really care for this person. He only lives about 4-5 hours away and I have yet to physically meet him. He's put me through so much emotional stresses so I never felt ...
A. 25 May 2011: I think you have to have a long hard think about whether this is worth all this. I accept that you care for him but lets be honest here is this good for either of you? Long Distance Relationships are hard and sometimes they are worth fighting ... (read in full...)
Why did he cut it off so quickly?
Q. the guy I was dating is attracted to me (havent had sex yet) and loves hanging out with me..we have a great chemistry.. Lately he's been busy with exams and school. We had an argument(our first) and didnt talk in a week. When we finally talked he ...
A. 15 May 2011: Woha, I think there is a lot going on here. It sounds like a bit of a tangled mess. Who mentioned love? Why didn't you talk for a whole week? I can understand not talking for a few days but a week? What was the argument about? Really some more ... (read in full...)
Having some concerns to whether my friend is true to me or not!
Q. I'm having some concerns, weather my friend is true to me or not. I'm going frew a bit of an emotional time and i txt her, upset, saying that i felt like she wasn't that botherd with me. I mentioned in the txt that some times i will ask her how she ...
A. 15 May 2011: Heya, You need to be a bit careful with this one, dont rush to conclusions. Firstly, you say the lack of response is mainly when it comes to talking about herself so I can think of at least one very good explanation for this that makes her more, ... (read in full...)
I gave out TMI to a gossipy friend and now I'm afraid my b/f won't forgive me!
Q. I'm 19 and this guy I was sleeping with for a while is 20. We were really good friends and he told me alot of things in confidence. He told me his ex-girlfriend miscarried about 8 months ago and it hurt him deeply. Well I found out the other day I'm ...
A. 14 May 2011: First things first, stopping beating down on yourself. You made a mistake, yes, but an understandable one in the circumstances. Going round and round in the wheel of self-hatred isnt going to fix this to be honest. Second, you dont know for sure the ... (read in full...)
Boyfriend lied about being sexually active
Q. My boyfriend has lied to me about being with other women, or so he said to me. We've been together for over seven months, and he just told me now. He also recently found out that I would prefer to be with a virgin. I'm having trouble deciding if I ...
A. 14 May 2011: I know your hurt he lied BUT i'm inclined to go with Honeypie on this one. The bottom line is that people lie a lot, sometimes for bad reasons, sometimes for well-intentioned reasons, sometimes for plain stupid reasons etc,etc. In addition to what... (read in full...)
My long distance boyfriend is being too distant. Please advise.
Q. My long-distance boyfriend and I have been dating for nine months (due to be ten in a few days) but lately, we've been having communication issues. I have no idea what goes on in his life. He doesn't tell me anything.. And he doesn't really a...
A. 14 May 2011: -sent hug-, it will take time but you will be able to let him go and move on and grow. You weren't wasting it, this experience will be something that helps you grow. Take care, I know its clichéd and *very* easy for me to say but things will get ... (read in full...)
I see him every day and it hurts so much that I have been told to stay away!
Q. I became good friends with this guy we told each other everything. it then became something more, but we both had partners which was wrong i know. i broke up with my boyfriend because we weren't right for each other he never found out about the fact ...
A. 7 May 2011: Well its good that you realise it was wrong to have something with this guy while you were with somebody. I'm not sure what can be done here, I understand why she said what she said but that doesn't particularly help you. I think this one is a ... (read in full...)
She keeps running from me to her ex!
Q. This is a long story but i need peoples feedback because i don't know what to do :( Right so i met this girl out one night and we kissed, she was completely drunk but the next week I saw her again and we started talking and she seemed really ni...
A. 5 May 2011: Long story, short answer, I fear. You have become a unwitting pawn in the drama of their still not properly ended relationship. Unfortunate and not very fair on you but not uncommon. She obviously has major issues about the end of this relationship ... (read in full...)
My long distance boyfriend is being too distant. Please advise.
Q. My long-distance boyfriend and I have been dating for nine months (due to be ten in a few days) but lately, we've been having communication issues. I have no idea what goes on in his life. He doesn't tell me anything.. And he doesn't really a...
A. 18 April 2011: I hate to be the bearer of bad news here - but I would judge him by his actions not his words. As you are obviously aware his actions and words dont fit together and when that happens I think actions are always a better guide to true feelings, sadly ... (read in full...)
My long distance boyfriend is being too distant. Please advise.
Q. My long-distance boyfriend and I have been dating for nine months (due to be ten in a few days) but lately, we've been having communication issues. I have no idea what goes on in his life. He doesn't tell me anything.. And he doesn't really a...
A. 17 April 2011: Well, I think you have a serious problem here and it needs sorting. None of his behaviour is particularly encouraging but you know that already or else you would not have asked this question. The real thing you need to establish is what lies at the ... (read in full...)
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