A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Hi, I'm almost 21. Yesterday I did a modelling job, supposedly completely professional and artistic in nature. I was made to sign a release but assumed it was okay (I have difficultly reading long passages) and the photographer seemed nice. He asked me to get nude for the photoshoot and this took place in his hotel room which I assumed was permissible. He took a lot of pictures of me which I was okay with as long as in was in a professional context. As the shoot went on he started appearing to come onto me and asking me intrusive questions, for example asking if I had a boyfriend, was a virgin etc. and saying he found me sexually attractive. I said I didn't have a boyfriend and that I was a virgin but made it clear that this was by choice and I wasn't interested with him as anything other than a professional acquaintance during the shoot. He wanted to take close up pictures of my body parts (including nipples and vagina) which I assumed was reasonable given from his website he seems to do a lot of closeup body photography. This was in exchange for him taking more casual/non-explicit professional quality pictures of me and also a small amount of payment/covering travel costs. I felt like during the shoot he may have been taking advantage of me somewhat. At one point he started fingering me so as to get a better picture he said (of my vagina) and I assumed this was okay. He then asked if he could "suck it out" (my clitoris) for the purpose of taking a picture and I said, uh no, that's starting to get a bit weird, I'm sorry but I'm not okay with that. He seemed to accept this, however he did shortly after start sucking on my nipples - again, he said, for the purpose of better pictures. I didn't actively protest but then I wasn't really aware of what he was intending to do or how okay it was or that these things were going to happen before they did and he made me feel kind of pressured. In some ways I'm quite naive. He also got partially undressed (though not fully) because he said he didn't want to get oil on his clothes, which he was putting on my body to make the pictures more effective. I said I didn't mind this as long as there was a practical reason. He convinced me to stay quite late taking pictures and since I hadn't eaten he said he would buy me something to eat, which I was okay with since I assumed he was being friendly and also wasn't entirely sure how I was going to get home. Later I went back to his hotel to look through the pictures as he requested. He told me that if I did this, he would pay for me to get a taxi home since I wasn't sure if any trains were running. I don't really have many friends or go out generally so I was kind of enjoying having someone to chat with, although from my perspective he was just an acquaintance. We later went back to look at the pictures and he asked me to get undressed so he could take more pictures of me looking through them, which I found a little odd but agreed. He eventually said I could get dressed again after I repeatedly implied I wanted to unless it was absolutely necessary for me to have my clothes off. I didn't know how to get home so I agreed to stay and hang out with him (platonically and now fully dressed) while I figured out how I could get home given the shoot had gone on until the early hours and no trains were running. He suggested we watched a film I had said I liked on my laptop which I agreed. To me, I am very literal in how I think (ASD, look it up) so I see watching a film as just being watching a film. I told him to put on this horror film that I like which he hadn't seen. He tried to convince me to lay down with him under the covers "as friends" but I said I didn't feel comfortable with that and wasn't the kind of person who enjoyed being physically close to people in any respect, so I would sit on top of the covers some distance away from him (there was nowhere else to sit). He kept trying to convince me to move closer to him and I got exasperated and I said I just wanted to watch the film and if he had other intentions I would leave (despite having nowhere to go). He then started saying, "I find you so sexually attractive, I want to play with you" (whatever that means) so I said that if he couldn't get past that and just chill out in a friendly way I felt rather uncomfortable being there and would leave. I then got up to do so and he said, "to be honest with you, I find you so hot/I want to be your first/I'll be gentle/I'll give you mone/I want to fuck your brains you/I want to go down on you, I'm just being honest". I said that I had no interest and that he wasn't my type at all in any case. He did let me leave and I then stayed outside until I was able to get home.Since then, I've become progressively more uncomfortable about this. I feel it was incredibly stupid of me to agree to a nude shoot with someone just because they said they were professional in their intentions and had a website and seemed nice. I know little about the industry or about people in general and what there motives are. From my perspective I never had any interest in the photographer at all besides professionally and as someone to hang out with in a friendly way afterwards on a one-time basis, due to the fact I had nowhere else to go and don't often have anyone to talk to. I feel like from his perspective I may have led him on though, even though I just thought I was doing what is expected of a model.Now I feel like he took advantage of me. I suppose I could get over this, if it wasn't for the pictures. He has some fairly pornographic pictures of me which I wasn't even aware he was taking. As in, open-crotch pictures showing my face taken from behind. I've spoken to my friend about this and he said he's just done research on the guy and he isn't as legitimate as he said. Apparently he is known to supply photographs to pay-to-view porn websites for money. I now feel immensely stressed. I know there is nothing I can do about this but I feel used and exploited and terrified I'm going to end up all over the web, even though I said I wasn't happy with the fully nude pictures that also showed my face when looking over them. What if he tries to blackmail me in return for sexual favours? I feel like I have to keep being nice to him in the hope he won't release the pictures but even then he may still do it, when all I really want to do is never have anything to do with him again because I'm starting to feel more and more that he acted like complete creep towards me. How can I deal with the fact these pictures could be seen by anyone? Just to be clear, I wouldn't mind if they were tasteful/implied kind of nudes as I was led to believe, but I found them incredibly degrading and pornographic. And did this guy behave inappropriately - because I genuinely don't know? Did I lead him on without realising just simply by agreeing to model nude and being friendly towards him?
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, Abella  +, writes (15 June 2014):
 Mark 1978 gave you really good advice.
That release can be undone. Due to your ASD it could be argued that you did not have capacity to understand the contract. Visit your local Citizen's Advice Bureau for guidance and support on what avenues are open to you to have the contract declared null and void and seek the original negatives and the rights to those photos.
If you want to be a respected model then Nude modelling is not the way to go about getting into that field.
Yes, taking a friend with you may help, You should also be very aware that some very base people may seek to manipulate you and you certainly do not need that.
Yes, many aspects of your post were distressing to read as clearly you are aware of some things but woefully naïve.
You will not always have your looks, thus is there a safer, more fulfilling and more long lived career that you could consider?
As there are aspects of the seedier side of life, that you seem very unaware of, you might like to check out this Wikipedia account of the trade that manipulates young girls into a life of untold misery or worse such as human trafficking.
You really do deserve better than to be manipulated by a evil low life like this nasty guy.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Human_Trafficking_(TV_miniseries)
A
male
reader, Mark1978 +, writes (14 June 2014):
 I do a lot of photography myself and paying you just £15 for any pictures is ridiculous! Women who are paid to be photographed nude by a proper professional get paid a lot of money, not £15.
A model release form, which you signed, is a contract which states where the images can be used, by whom and for what purpose.
For example if I took a picture of a female friend and wanted to sell that image to a magazine, she would have to sign a model release form. This would have to be provided to any publication that wished to use the image. The form would state any situations or implications which are not allowed by the person signing it. This prevents, or should prevent, a person innocently posing for a photograph and then, without realising, having that image of themselves accompany a magazine article on, say, rape victims, child abuse, drug addiction, abortion, binge drinking, etc.
"So he did know this. I am not naive in the typical sense, however I am very naive in some regards. For example, my emotional age according to a psychiatrist is 3 despite being physically almost 21."
Yes I absolutely understand this. You are an adult, in many ways you act and think like an adult, and are intelligent and sensible. However, due to you condition you struggle to understand non literal situations, such as innuendo or metaphors and misinterpret some social situations or cues. Also you are open and honest, which is a good thing, but that can sometimes lead you to saying or doing things which you shouldn't be doing or giving away information which can be used against you.
You should speak to the Police. As a vulnerable person you have been exploited. The contract you signed will count for little as you are, with the greatest of respect, unable to understand the implications of what you were signing. Plus the small token fee, the fact he touched you inappropriately and so forth makes what he did illegal. He fingered you, sucked/licked you while knowing you had ASD and leading you to believe it was innocent and for the sake of a good photograph. The police here in the UK do take such things very seriously. Bearing in mind that you are, emotionally, a child - taking naked pictures and touching you in such a manner when he knew, and to be fair would have noticed your mental age, is little different from touching and taking naked pictures of a child.
Mark
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A
female
reader, YouWish +, writes (14 June 2014):
 Oh yeah! If he's defrauded you, paid you $15 (sorry, I don't have a pound sign, but it's pathetic in any denomination :|), you should call the police and press charges against him big time. Talk to your friends and get that done. Your condition would deem you a vulnerable person here in the US, which could get him drummed up on sexual assault charges here. I don't know the laws of the UK, but I can't imagine they'd be any less harsh against sleazes like him.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (14 June 2014): Please report this man to the police. I am worried he will exploit other girls who may not feel able to say no when he asks to have sex with them.
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A
female
reader, llifton +, writes (14 June 2014):
 You need to contact a lawyer asap. There are lawyers out there who will gladly take your case pro bono (free) just for the mere sake of how disgusting it is. I know I would.
This man is a fraud. His behavior is fraudulent and he is a danger to other women, as well. He may have created a release form which you willingly signed, but that consent was based on fraudulent information and misrepresentation.
Get a lawyer right now - right here, TODAY. What he did was horrendous. You can get those pictures back and dispose of them and he can get in serious trouble with the law for what he did. And if he ever tries to black mail you with the pictures for sex, contact the police immediately. Using a threat to get someone to do something they want is illegal.
I think you need representation asap.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (14 June 2014): YouWish, I have learnt from this experience. Any future modelling I will be bringing my male friend and more aware of the signs that the motives are sexual. I didn't read the release because I struggle to read long paragraphs and assumed it was okay, however my friend suggested I ask for a copy which I now have via email. It says that he can do whatever he wants with the pictures, effectively. And I don't have any money which is why I take these kind of jobs (I struggle with normal work). I was paid only £15 by the creepy guy. :-(
Mark, you are right. I told the guy I had an ASD, just because I'm a very open and honest person. So he did know this. I am not naive in the typical sense, however I am very naive in some regards. For example, my emotional age according to a psychiatrist is 3 despite being physically almost 21.
The guy did a good job at manipulating me. He linked me to a website with testimonials, which I've now learned has many fake pictures that aren't actually taken by him.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (14 June 2014): Hi, yes the question is serious. I didn't say I know some things about the industry, I said I know little. And I realise I behaved erratically, however I am mentally unstable (on medication) and struggle for money so I wasn't really thinking properly.
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A
female
reader, Honeypie + ♥, writes (14 June 2014):
 "YouWish put this...
No release or contract can override the laws of ethics in your country
AND you need to take that as a mantra.
Second NO you didn't lead him on. IT IS NOT YOUR FAULT HE took advantage to you. My guess is he started out with semi innocent looking shots to lower your guard and make you trust his call - then switching gears.
First of all I would talk to someone you trust, I assume you GOT a copy of the release so take that and look for a lawyer. I would look to get ALL the pictures back - (you can return the money) IF he is not working for himself only, I would look into finding his employer.
YOU on the other hand need to stop doing nudes. You obviously aren't capable of saying NO or STOP when people try and make you do things you are not OK with. If you have problems with that, you either need to STOP doing nudes or BRING a trusted friend to the shot.
Do NOT do shots are a hotel room, it SCREAMS unprofessional! A PROFESSIONAL photographer would have a studio and if he wanted "bed room" shots he would have a set for that.
ALWAYS ALWAYS research your photographer BEFORE agreeing to anything.
The guy is a perv. I would SERIOUSLY look for LEGAL advice on getting your pictures back and refusal for him to use them.
LOOK INTO free legal advice if you can't afford this.
AND LAST, but not least.. NEVER EVER sign a GOD-DARN release form unless you understand it 100%. NEVER.
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A
female
reader, YouWish +, writes (14 June 2014):
Yikes! I read this and just shuddered. That was one of the most sleazy, disgusting things I have heard of in quite a while. This guy was definitely horning in on you the entire time. Professional nude photographers don't even act close to that. Come on, sucking on your nipples?? That's so outrageous. He threw ethics out the window and treated you like he was some sort of sex predator.
So you signed a release? Were you paid for the photos? Do you have a copy of this release??
I don't know how much money you have, but if you're worried about what he could do with the pictures, I would suggest getting a lawyer and talking at length about what happened to you. I'm not a photographer, but there has to be some standards or laws or something he violated during his session with you that could give you some leverage.
No release or contract can override the laws of ethics in your country. And there's something else here. You may be worried about how your nude pictures are used, but if he is an actual photographer who earns his livelihood doing nudes, a reputation of unprofessionalism and creepy behavior can destroy his career. No reputable woman upon hearing his disgusting tactics will let them anywhere near them.
I'm sorry this happened to you. I am sure as you play the episode over and over in your head, you'll think of the things you should have done. Hopefully the session has made you much wiser if there is a next time. A professional photographer, in a studio, usually employs a witness and has the poses pre-determined. And the touching and sucking and the under the covers crap will be non-existent.
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A
male
reader, Mark1978 +, writes (14 June 2014):
OP you have had your innocence and your naivity taken advantage of. Im very sorry you are in this situation.
I don't want to sound rude or hurtful but clearly you have an issue in which you perhaps do not perceive things the way other adults would and have a naïve view of many of the things this man has said and done. As you say, you take things literally and have ASD (Autism spectrum Disorder). That's not a criticism, but it leaves you vulnerable and easily exploited.
There are many things this man has done which were very, very wrong. Also, because of your condition, you have missed many of the signals that this guy was taking advantage and wanted to use you for sex.
Professional nude photographs are taken in a studio with both male and female staff on hand to make the person feel more comfortable and to ensure nothing untoward happens. Going to a hotel room with a man to get undressed for photos is always a bad idea. It shows he is not professional (he would use a studio) and leaves you in the vulnerable situation of just being the two of you present. Plus the fact the shoot went on until the early hours shows he was trying to get sex out of you and was putting you in a situation of having nowhere to go and no way of getting there.
He used the pretence of wanting to enhance the photos to touch you inappropriately and engage in sex acts which you believed were to make the photos look good. Sadly this vile man has used that pretence and lies to get himself into a position of touching you up. He clearly knew that you would see it as innocent and took advantage of you.
You say, for example, that he took some of his clothes off claiming it was because he didn't want to get oil on his clothing. Sadly, through no fault of your own, you saw this as a practical reason rather then the lie it really was and missed the fact that he was getting undressed as he wanted sex with you.
"He then started saying, "I find you so sexually attractive, I want to play with you" (whatever that means) "
It means he wanted to use you for sex. Play with you means to touch your body in a sexual way, finger you, lick you, have sex with you.
You need to bare in mind that when these adverts are placed, they are not going to say "Give us a ring and we will exploit you, try and use you for sex and possible black mail you", no, they will give the impression of being a legitimate, professional service.
You have not led this guy on in any way. He took advantage of your innocence and naivity.
"At one point he started fingering me so as to get a better picture he said (of my vagina) and I assumed this was okay"
That was a big mistake. You should have run like hell the moment he did that. Sadly you were too innocent to see that what he was doing was wrong and exploiting you.
It makes me sick and angry that this man has done this to you. Thankfully you realised something was up and made sure he didn't get sex out of you. But you still put yourself in a vulnerable situation. Please try and learn from this and
avoid being so trusting in the future. Please don't ever go to hotel rooms at night with strangers posing as professionals. This man clearly knew you had a condition such as ASD and took full advantage of it.
To answer your last two questions: Yes this evil, vile man behaved VERY inappropriately, and no you did not lead him on in any way.
Mark
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A
male
reader, Xearo  +, writes (14 June 2014):
The people who often think they are the safest by being reclusive are the one who appear the most vulnerable.. I don't know if this question was serious because it says you know some things about the industry but I am pretty sure I have never heard of fingering in a nude photoshoot, much less one in a hotel room. You also did not read your contract. You based all your judgments on how you think you judge a person based on a few moments of interaction. I would say next time try to think things through and take your time researching things before you commit to anything, this goes a long way in any aspect of life including relationships.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (14 June 2014): I do think you're very naive and you should have taken someone with you who you trust and could drive. Even if you didn't want them to see you nude, tough; you just got used. I blame you for not thinking it through properly, but I want you to know that what he did was NOT your fault.
He is a creep and he pushed it as far as you were willing to go - so you probably wouldn't have a case against him if you wanted to press charges.
You MUST read the fine print when it's something like modelling and, if you can't (which is okay), you HAVE to take someone who can.
You're very lucky that you weren't in more danger because he doesn't sound like his business is of any "artistic" nature.
May I ask why you had them done originally? This is in no way to put you down, but I'm wondering why a young woman with ASD didn't bring someone to support her and make sure nothing inappropriate happened? In fact, hopefully all women would (and maybe men).
There is nothing you can do, I don't think. Unless you see them on a website, then you may be able to request them removed by the site.
He was VERY inappropriate and violated your trust and I think you should seek counselling to help you understand the risks of doing things like this, especially alone and when you can't drive yourself home.
I really am sorry for what you've been through; it was poor planning and naivety on your part, but the rest is all on what a douche he is. Please, be more careful in future; you need to look after yourself so nasty people can't take advantage of you again.
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