A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I feel like I'm having an affair because nobody accepts this situation!!I was with a man for 8 years, we never married but we did have two children during this time. We split up for many reasons, the relationship was horrible for the last 2 years and although it wasn't a good break up, we obviously had to stay amicable in some way for the children's sake.It's now been 5 years since we split and we have both moved on. About 2 years ago I went to collect the children and his new partner answered the door and said that he wasn't back with the kids yet but did I want to go in the house and wait, which I did. We got chatting and she seemed very nice and we had a lot in common - he obviously has a type!! Since then me and her have got on brilliantly. We reglularly go for lunch, nights out etc and my partner gets on well with him also so we occasionally have a takeaway or whatever, just the 4 of us.While this works well for us and we think it's best for the children, no one else seems to understand - to the point that we have to keep it quiet and sneak around so no one sees us! It's ridiculous! All of our families and friends can't understand how we can possibly get on but in my eyes enough time had passed for us all to move on and there are genuinely no hard feelings at all.Is this situation really that weird?
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affair, move on, my ex, split up Reply to this Question
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female
reader, Honeypie  + ♥, writes (17 July 2014):
 I think it's rare, not weird.
Be glad that you all can behave like decent folks. As for what family and friends think, I'd just let them THINK what they like but make sure they respect the fact that you OBVIOUSLY can handle being adult about it.
A
female
reader, llifton +, writes (17 July 2014):
 To me, it's really not that weird. I'm one who is capable of staying friends with exes (if it ended, there was a pretty darn good reason for it), and have quite a few who I still maintain a perfectly platonic relationship with. I think you two have been broken up for long enough to be able to have this type of friendship and I don't see it as weird at all. In fact, it IS ideal. You have a healthy relationship for your kids sake. That's brilliant. Good for you. So many couples split and argue and battle over everything, leaving the kids in the middle of the destruction and hurting them. Props to you two for this. It seems like a very healthy friendship so I say keep it up. Who cares what anyone else says?
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A
female
reader, banditsmom1124 +, writes (17 July 2014):
 i think this is awesome! not only is this great for you but its great for the kids. i have a few friends who have this kind of relationships w/their xs
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A
female
reader, oldbag +, writes (17 July 2014):
 Not weird - adult.
The kids benefit, you have a new friend, what's the big-deal
Sadly not all couples can be like this, its rare to be able to move on so well but it works for you lot so don't worry what others think.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (17 July 2014): What would people rather you all be like? Argumente, snide comments etc... I think it's refreshing to her about split parents that are not at each others throats.
Screw what everyone thinks. It works well for you all (especially the children I would imagine)
I don't think it is weird.. Just really not heard of.. At all. Lol.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (17 July 2014): If it works for you then it works for you.
Let other people worry about their own problems.
You don't have any ;-p
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