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How can I handle my abusive toxic Ex? Makes out he cares to my mother. Then abusive tirade at me,

Tagged as: Breaking up, Family, Health, Pregnancy, The ex-factor, Troubled relationships, Trust issues<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (30 August 2012) 3 Answers - (Newest, 31 August 2012)
A female United Kingdom age 36-40, anonymous writes:

My ex bf of nine months dumped me in a text message after I had a nervous breakdown. After the breakup we kept having arguments and he blocked me from phones, emails and facebook.

I then went on to have an early miscarriage. I didn't know I was pregnant and I couldn't tell him as I was blocked. I started seeing a therapist.

He then unblocked me and we started talking. I made a stupid mistake of telling him.

He was lovely at first. We met up and chatted, told me he still cared etc etc. that we should have another catch up too. I wasn't really keen on the idea as I didn't want to get hurt again.

We still chatted and he offered to come with me to a checkup appointment and I said I would rather go by myself. I did change my mind but he hung up on me. This was when he went mental.

Told me I was evil, liar, nasty. Then he blocked me again. I was in hospital with stuff from it last week and he knows but he still ignored me.

Then I got a message telling me that he hated me and that I should have "a long hard think about why he hates me" and then "if I cry for help after five months and keep him in the dark....my patience has run out"

I couldn't contact him etc. he wanted the number for my doctors and all sorts. What have I don't wrong and why do I feel like rubbish so much?

I have also found out that before he sent the hate mail that he text my mum and hoped that I was okay?! I just don't understand!!

View related questions: facebook, liar, text

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A female reader, Honeypie United States + , writes (31 August 2012):

Honeypie agony auntYou need to have NO contact WHAT SO EVER with this guy.

And even if you gave him the number of your doctor, it's privileged information and your doctor can't SHARE it.

He sounds like a total tool, honey.

Wake up and drop him like it's hot!

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A male reader, LazyGuy Netherlands +, writes (30 August 2012):

LazyGuy agony auntWomen want closure. The only one you will ever get is when they nail the coffin shut.

He is toxic and abusive. END OF STORY.

Stop trying to understand your abuser, Stockholm syndrome is so last century.

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A female reader, aunt honesty Ireland +, writes (30 August 2012):

aunt honesty agony auntIt looks to me like he thinks you have lied about having the miscarriage so that you could get on his good terms again. He wanted to go to the check up with you to find out for himself, and I guess it was his child as well so maybe that would only be fair, however you are the one that has went through this offal ordeal therefore it is your choice, and I am sorry that you lost your baby. So I guess he sent that message to your mother in hope that she would be able to tell him the truth if you had the miscarriage or not. I guess there is only one way to solve it and that is to prove it to him so he knows you are not lying. Take him to the doctors with you and get the doctor to explain to him what happened.

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