What's the lowdown on the down there hair?
Q. I guess my question is more for the men on DC, but of course I am also interested in women's comments. So : it seems the general consensus , at least among the younger generations, is that a woman SHOULD be hairless down there :the hairless...
A. 23 March 2015: Personally, I think that neatly trimmed is best. Contrary to what the male anon said, shaving is problematic to me as it results in ingrown hairs every time no matter what I do. I actually asked my doctor about it as a couple got infected (sorry for ... (read in full...)
Will the over-sexualization of women ever stop?
Q. Why are there so many expectations for women? I've started to notice a trend that women are mostly valued by their attractiveness. We're expected to shave, wear makeup, be skinny, have larger boobs and a nice butt, etc. The list goes on and on. I ...
A. 22 March 2015: John the point you are missing is that things are uneven now. My case should have been a clear cut criminal case. He had a knife, therefore there was no disputing that I was forced. Yet people still didn't accept it was rape. People said that ... (read in full...)
The girl I have been chatting with slept with someone else
Q. I have been chatting with a girl for over a year. Lately she has been getting very sexual in her comments, even saying we should meet for sex. I am not necessarily the type to want to meet a woman for sex (only) so I laugh her comments off. ...
A. 22 March 2015: Honestly OP, if you have been chatting for a year and you laugh off her comments about sex, I think she probably thinks you are not very interested in her. Especially after you told her you hopes she gets laid soon. I'd assume it was just a flirty ... (read in full...)
Will the over-sexualization of women ever stop?
Q. Why are there so many expectations for women? I've started to notice a trend that women are mostly valued by their attractiveness. We're expected to shave, wear makeup, be skinny, have larger boobs and a nice butt, etc. The list goes on and on. I ...
A. 22 March 2015: John, I want to give you another example. This one is about me and is actually the reason I got into counselling/volunteering in the first place.
When I was 19, I'd had a few drinks in a nightclub. I wasn't drunk but I couldn't drive either. ... (read in full...)
Will the over-sexualization of women ever stop?
Q. Why are there so many expectations for women? I've started to notice a trend that women are mostly valued by their attractiveness. We're expected to shave, wear makeup, be skinny, have larger boobs and a nice butt, etc. The list goes on and on. I ...
A. 21 March 2015: John, I didn't post anonymously but I assume you are referring to my post about the girls who come into the centre, and if you look at my post I actually said that it could be that men are reluctant to come into ask for advice. I also acknowledged ... (read in full...)
Will the over-sexualization of women ever stop?
Q. Why are there so many expectations for women? I've started to notice a trend that women are mostly valued by their attractiveness. We're expected to shave, wear makeup, be skinny, have larger boobs and a nice butt, etc. The list goes on and on. I ...
A. 21 March 2015: 'The majority of sucide and homelessness is men. Yet no one cares unless it's a women.'
Goodness me male anon, you can't seriously believe that? I'm not sure if you are correct when you say more men are homeless and commit suicide, but to say that... (read in full...)
I'm frustrated with how she deals with oral sex?
Q. I'm currently having a problem with my fiance. She's 27 I'm 29. The problem is she never gives me oral to completion, she will start and stop making sure I don't climax in her mouth. She seems to want to have sex after she sucks it for a bit so I...
A. 21 March 2015: Also OP - you say that she orgasms through penetration and you do too, so I'm not sure why you say you were both unsatisfied after your 'experiment'?... (read in full...)
I'm frustrated with how she deals with oral sex?
Q. I'm currently having a problem with my fiance. She's 27 I'm 29. The problem is she never gives me oral to completion, she will start and stop making sure I don't climax in her mouth. She seems to want to have sex after she sucks it for a bit so I...
A. 21 March 2015: 'The point is that she uses penetrative sex so I don't cum in her mouth, that's how I feel anyway.'
There's a huge chance that's exactly what she is doing. She probably thinks that ensuring you orgasm through penetrative sex means you're satisfie... (read in full...)
Why do I care so much about girls noticing me? As soon as I stop caring a girl will notice me then I get too happy and go back to square one!
Q. Whenever I'm at school I'm always hoping for a girl to see me and think "Hmmmm I wonder who that is" and just want to talk to me. I'm always hoping some girl will see me and think I'm cute (To be honest I'm average looking-to cute to some people). ...
A. 19 March 2015: Some girls may look at you if that's the type of people they are, but my point is people won't always make it obvious if they find you attractive. Similarly, the ones that do look might not be looking because they are attracted to you - they might ... (read in full...)
Why do I care so much about girls noticing me? As soon as I stop caring a girl will notice me then I get too happy and go back to square one!
Q. Whenever I'm at school I'm always hoping for a girl to see me and think "Hmmmm I wonder who that is" and just want to talk to me. I'm always hoping some girl will see me and think I'm cute (To be honest I'm average looking-to cute to some people). ...
A. 19 March 2015: John I'm sad to say I think it's your attitude that's holding you back. You sound like you are determining your self worth depending on how many girls you believe find you attractive. And this is not based on facts either, they are just not reacting ... (read in full...)
How did I become the family villian?
Q. A question: If a kid gets punished for something they did not do, is it child abuse even if not excessive just because the kid was innocent and the parent did not believe them? I have not been on speaking terms with my mom for years for this reason. ...
A. 18 March 2015: OP your Mum made a mistake, and in my opinion so did you. She was worried about you, and in her highly emotional state she punished you over a misunderstanding. You said yourself she was sad about it afterwards, but you made it into a huge deal and ... (read in full...)
It was not my kid but I lost my girlfriend over it anyway. I'd like to get her back but am worried she'll take me to court!
Q. I cheated on my girlfriend with this skank from work that everybody slept with. She knew I had a girlfriend I loved and it was just sex. She wanted me to be with her but that would never happen. She told me she was pregnant and my world ended. My ...
A. 17 March 2015: Jeez, I really hope this is a troll but I'll answer the question just in case. OP, you lost your girlfriend because you couldn't keep it in your pants. It's as simple as that. It might not have been your baby, but you still lied, cheated and tried ... (read in full...)
I am not happy with the size of it!
Q. Hello people, this maybe a daft issue but it really gets to me. I have been depressed for ages now and well I feel the most of it is I'm not happy with my penis size. My first relationship ended with the girl dumping me and then spreading th...
A. 7 March 2015: Lots of women feel the same way about breast size, so why don't you try flipping the situation around and ask yourself whether the size of a girls breasts are that much of a big deal to you that you would leave her for someone else? I'm guessing ... (read in full...)
Abandon our plans to assist at 10 year ex-husband's - Issue of Principle
Q. Me and my GF have had a relationship for over six months, due to a difficult schedule we dont get as much time together as we would like. However Sundays we are able and look forward to getting together between 1pm and 4pm. She is a single working ...
A. 5 March 2015: I think you are majorly overreacting. Her son needed her help and, as he absolutely should, he comes first.
If she's a single working Mum, then Sunday is perhaps the only day she had free to help him move. I understand that you were disappoi... (read in full...)
What happened to 'getting to know you' first?
Q. Since I broke up with my boyfriend of 4 years, I started dating and the situation is that guys that I meet only want sex immediately. I hardly have any dates though I give my phone number. I don't understand what changed during these 4 years. ...
A. 20 February 2015: OP I'm in the exact same situation as you and it is hard to keep positive. So many men I meet these days are only interested in their own needs, and are very upfront about that from the first date in my experience (as in I want something physical ... (read in full...)
If he upsets me he leaves me alone
Q. Is it odd the way my boyfriend reacts to upsetting me? Whenever he does something that upsets me, whether it be something big or small, he's usually perfectly fine. He says sorry for what he does, but he gets into a sort of mood where he's like, ...
A. 16 February 2015: It would be good to get some examples of what it is he says/does to hurt you and how often this happens to allow people to give you better advice, but for the purposes of my answer I'll assume you are not being overly sensitive or looking for ... (read in full...)
What's the best way for me to either get a girlfriend or lose my virginity?
Q. I'm 21, had one girlfriend for two years, during early college. I've asked out about 5 girls one of them my girlfriend, the other four I've only gone on a date or two a piece. My friends always say that I could do better and its because I lack ...
A. 13 February 2015: Hello again OP. I feel like you are still looking at this the wrong way. Firstly, you assume that these so called 'bad boys' are brilliant in bed when that is often not true. Guys like that are good at TALKING women into bed but are very often ... (read in full...)
She says I have lost her trust, I say she is being over dramatic!
Q. my girlfriend says I've lost her trust and she wants to end things but I think she's just being over dramatic and refusing to give me another chance. My old flame called me to say could we be friends again so I met her for a drink didn't tell my gf ...
A. 13 February 2015: To 'the nonny' - I wouldn't normally respond to this sort of post but I feel
I have to as I'm a bit sad you thought my advice came across as 'crass and condescending' when I don't feel I was any harsher than others who responded. So I feel I shou... (read in full...)
My wife gave her ex boyfriend better sex than she gives me!
Q. I have asked my wife for 10 years to do the same sex acts that she did with her ex boyfriend but she refuses. She had sex with him daily and with me 3 times a month. I feel hurt and inferior to him. Is it ok that she denies me but wanted to ...
A. 9 February 2015: 'I am the one that gives and never receives. Nobody knows how that feels.' About 90% of the men I have been with have taken without giving back, and judging by the conversations I have with my friends I'm not the only one, so there are many o... (read in full...)
My wife gave her ex boyfriend better sex than she gives me!
Q. I have asked my wife for 10 years to do the same sex acts that she did with her ex boyfriend but she refuses. She had sex with him daily and with me 3 times a month. I feel hurt and inferior to him. Is it ok that she denies me but wanted to ...
A. 9 February 2015: 'So your saying I need to respect her feelings of not wanting to preform the sex acts I have asked for right after she did them with her ex'
Yes.
'And she should ignore my needs.'
You are ignoring her needs/wants too, so you are even on ... (read in full...)
She says I have lost her trust, I say she is being over dramatic!
Q. my girlfriend says I've lost her trust and she wants to end things but I think she's just being over dramatic and refusing to give me another chance. My old flame called me to say could we be friends again so I met her for a drink didn't tell my gf ...
A. 9 February 2015: I'm not sure if the anonymous female who is supporting the OP is one person or several people, but either way, I think you are mistaking trust and boundaries. Trust doesn't mean you should be able to do whatever you want and the other person sho... (read in full...)
My wife gave her ex boyfriend better sex than she gives me!
Q. I have asked my wife for 10 years to do the same sex acts that she did with her ex boyfriend but she refuses. She had sex with him daily and with me 3 times a month. I feel hurt and inferior to him. Is it ok that she denies me but wanted to ...
A. 9 February 2015: Yes. If she tried something in her past and no longer wishes to do it, for ANY reason, then you have no right to expect it or pressure her to do it.
It kind of begs the question though - why would you want her to do something she doesn't want to ... (read in full...)
What's the best way for me to either get a girlfriend or lose my virginity?
Q. I'm 21, had one girlfriend for two years, during early college. I've asked out about 5 girls one of them my girlfriend, the other four I've only gone on a date or two a piece. My friends always say that I could do better and its because I lack ...
A. 7 February 2015: 'If Im to learn shouldnt I have more practice instead of only with one girl?'
In a word, no. Brown wolf is spot on. I dated a guy once who was a bit of a player, and from what I heard on the grapevine afterwards, he had slept with over 30 women. H... (read in full...)
Should I feel so betrayed? He lied by omission about visiting a Lap Dancing Bar.
Q. My boyfriend has totally betrayed my trust, and all he can say is he hasn't actually cheated on me, all he did was go to a lap dancing club but he lied about where he was going so he might have well cheated on me. He went with a group of friends...
A. 31 January 2015: I totally agree with YouWish - going to a strip club while in a relationship should only happen if both parties agree in advance and discuss what is/isn't allowed while there. It's not a matter of insecurity, it's the fact he paid a LIVE woman to ... (read in full...)
I'm having doubts about marrying him!
Q. Can anyone offer some well needed advice please? I've been with my fiancé for 10 years - I got with him when I was 20 and he was 29. We are getting married in August. I do love him otherwise I wouldn't be with him but I keep getting doubts as...
A. 26 January 2015: It might be worth reading this post to help you weigh things up. Granted this is a slightly extreme example, but it's definitely worth remembering that not all first dates are exciting and many people are putting up with this sort of thing trying to ... (read in full...)
Is it worth trying again or should I just let my head rule my heart?
Q. I'm really confused right and now and need some advice please! So background : I was with my ex for 5 months when he asked me to move in with him. I know it was too soon but I was stupid and said yes. We lived together happily for over a year...
A. 18 January 2015: He absolutely must tell you why he broke up with you before you can ever consider giving him another chance. Otherwise, you will forever be terrified that this unknown reason might come up again and he'll once again blindside you and break your ... (read in full...)
Her lack of sexual desire has me wondering if I should break up with her.
Q. So Ive been with this girl for over 2 years now and nearly everything is great with her. We moved in together 6 months ago and we still get on really well and I love her very much the problem is her lackof sexual desire. She has admitted she no ...
A. 13 January 2015: When you do have sex, does she enjoy it? 100%? Many women fake it because it's too embarrassing/ too much hassle/ too difficult to explain what works for them in bed. It's not something you want to hear, but if she has been having sex and not ... (read in full...)
My girlfriend caught me lying, should I just break things of now?
Q. About 3 weeks ago, my girlfriend caught me lying to her about a couple of stupid things. She's quite conservative and I lied about the things I did (which I don't think are a big deal) because I didn't want to upset her, although I do know that ...
A. 4 January 2015: OP I think you need to give her a bit more time and a lot more support to get over this. You say she keeps dragging up the past, but it's only been 3 weeks! To expect her to get over the fact you lied and for everything to be back to normal by now ... (read in full...)
She thinks this is funny. How can I get her to understand that I don't like that she when we make love she lets off wind? Why does this happen?
Q. I have what I call a severe prob;em with my partner in that when we make love she lets off wind and never does do anything to stop it and when I said something about it she thought it was funny and laughed at me and wonder if I should end it with ...
A. 31 December 2014: I think there is a very high chance that this is coming from her vagina, but either way I think she is laughing it off because she's mortified and is trying to make light of it. Have you spoken to her (gently) about this outside of the bedroom? I ... (read in full...)
He wouldn't commit so I ended it and bought a house. Now we might be getting back together...
Q. I have been with my boyfriend for almost 6 years, and for the last year I have been unhappy with the progress we've been making. He asked me to move into his home a while back but point blank refused to commit to/discuss any more of a future than ...
A. 31 December 2014: If this is the same person as before, then she has provided a lot more information this time so I think it's fine that she has asked again. OP, in light of the fact that you had broken up over his inability to commit and you have already put money ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend despises my best friend and her husband!
Q. I have a real problem on my hands. My boyfriend of 1 year is absolutely despises my best friend from my childhood and her husband. With New year celebration that he is hosting in his house where I just moved in he blankly refuses to invite my girfr...
A. 29 December 2014: I have to say that I disagree with the other posters. If you are both hosting a New Year party in what is now your house too, then I would ask that he suck it up and invite them along. He may not get on with them, but he can just avoid them at the ... (read in full...)
Her words have me confused!
Q. When my ex broke up with me I told her how I wanted to marry her and that I was secretly saving money on the side to buy an engagement ring. She told me “Don’t buy her a ring because she wants a ring, buy her a ring because I want to buy her a ring” ...
A. 26 December 2014: It sounds as if she thinks you were going to propose because SHE wanted you to, not because YOU are excited about marrying her.... (read in full...)
How can I convince her to wait until I'm ready for marriage and children?
Q. Hi aunts and uncles. I'm looking for some impartial advice and my girlfriend uses this site a lot so thought I'd give it a try. We have been together for 5 years, I am 27 and she is 29, and recently she has been putting a lot of pressure on me t...
A. 25 December 2014: 'I had a think about it today and decided to offer her everything she has asked for and she's still not sure.'
'You're totally right, that's why I didn't tell her I would have a baby now I said I'd have one in 3 years as a compromise.'
Althoug... (read in full...)
Flirting leading to some kissing at Christmas work function. Will my reputation be tarnished? How do I handle any reactions at work?
Q. Hello everyone. Ive been at my current office job for about 3 months now and we've just had our annual Christmas work do. I'm 22 and I have had a bit of a crush on one of my coworkers for a while. He is 45 and married. I'm also in a long term r...
A. 23 December 2014: I'm really glad things worked out for you OP, but yes you certainly dodged a bullet. Unfair dismissal laws usually don't come into effect until someone has worked somewhere for a year, plus kissing a married colleague at a work function could easily ... (read in full...)
My ex is coming over and says he doesn't want sex. What if I do?
Q. Dear cupid, My ex is coming over tomorrow to hag out,he says he wants to catch up and watch TV. He says he doesn't want to have sex but what if I want to? I know I'm not gonna pressure him but I don't want to come on too strong. What do I do?...
A. 21 December 2014: I totally agree with Aunty Bim Bim - no means no. If he doesn't want to have sex and you do, then you will need to try to find someone else to have sex with. End of story.... (read in full...)
Flirting leading to some kissing at Christmas work function. Will my reputation be tarnished? How do I handle any reactions at work?
Q. Hello everyone. Ive been at my current office job for about 3 months now and we've just had our annual Christmas work do. I'm 22 and I have had a bit of a crush on one of my coworkers for a while. He is 45 and married. I'm also in a long term r...
A. 20 December 2014: I hate to give you bad news, but this really isn't good. If even one person saw you then more than likely everyone now knows. As an example, one of the divorced older men at my work was trying it on with me last year, and even though I turned him ... (read in full...)
She complains about masterbating and about porn. But she never wants to initiate sex. What's a guy supposed to do?
Q. Hi , what can I do about my girlfriend of 7 months ? She insists i'm not to watch porn when I masterbate but declines my advances to initiate sex? Just the other day I tried it on with her and she had a go at me stating all I'm ever interest...
A. 18 December 2014: Sadly it's very hard to reach a compromise when one person has a much higher sex drive than the other, as either one person regularly feels like they have to do it when they don't want to or the other is living with a much lower amount than they ... (read in full...)
Unhappily married and strongly attracted to another woman
Q. Hi last week I went out for a Christmas meal and drinks with colleagues and it ended up with just me and a girl. We both work remotely from the office and see each other on the odd occasion but live near each other. Anyway we ended up have a couple...
A. 15 December 2014: Leave your wife if you're that unhappy, then look to meet someone else.... (read in full...)
There's something about me that makes it hard to make friends
Q. Lateley in my life, I have felt very lonely. I got through a divorce from a very mentally abusing man and I have always sort of been that nice girl finishing up last. Many girls sees me as a threat because of how I am as person ( I always st...
A. 14 December 2014: OP I have had experience with the type of things you talk about. Some (now former) friends have started acting differently when I've started to do better at school or work, and others have judged me because of how I look too (I used to do a bit of ... (read in full...)
Do they have to give me time off to get married?
Q. Hi, Just a quick question. I am looking to get married next year 2015. Preferably during August, but anytime during the summer holidays is fine. Now with regards to work, I would like to take two weeks off during wedding occasion, to incl...
A. 14 December 2014: As someone who has several people reporting to me, I'm sorry to tell you that there is no law that entitled you to this. You can only take the holidays your employer lets you take depending on the needs of the business at that time and within the ... (read in full...)
My visiting a strip club upset my girlfriend ... how do I fix this?
Q. I need help fixing things with my girlfriend. Over the last few months she has gone off sex quite a bit and we only really have it once a week just now. She's been to the doctor who said she is physically fine so it might be stress or something. ...
A. 9 December 2014: I'd like to point out that while I do agree with CMMP in that people should sometimes try to have sex for the benefit of their partner, it's worth noting that if she says her sex drive is dead and she's still having sex with you once a week, she ... (read in full...)
My visiting a strip club upset my girlfriend ... how do I fix this?
Q. I need help fixing things with my girlfriend. Over the last few months she has gone off sex quite a bit and we only really have it once a week just now. She's been to the doctor who said she is physically fine so it might be stress or something. ...
A. 9 December 2014: I think this is a case of very bad timing on your part. You say your girlfriend has lost her sex drive and even the doctor can't work out why. You also say you've expressed your frustration, so she clearly knows this is an issue for you.
My be... (read in full...)
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