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*ls022

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Is the pill alone enough?

Q.   My boyfriend and I have been together for 2 years. We live together, and we are very much in love. I am on the pill, and I'm very faithful about taking it every day. We haven't used condoms since about a month or two into our relationship, we have ...

A.   4 June 2015: I may have picked the male anon up wrong, but just for the avoidance of any doubt, the pull out method is definitely ineffective as a form of birth control. There can be sperm in pre-cum at any time (not just after a recent ejaculation - there have ... (read in full...)

Is the pill alone enough?

Q.   My boyfriend and I have been together for 2 years. We live together, and we are very much in love. I am on the pill, and I'm very faithful about taking it every day. We haven't used condoms since about a month or two into our relationship, we have ...

A.   4 June 2015: I may have picked the male anon up wrong, but just for the avoidance of any doubt, the pull out method is definitely ineffective as a form of birth control. There can be sperm in pre-cum at any time (not just after a recent ejaculation - there have ... (read in full...)

Am I being an unfair roommate?

Q.   Hey aunts... quick question Me and my 2 friends decided to get a three bedroom apt and split the bills. My situation is I want to try living on my own, I do pay bills at my mothers house but I want to see how it is to be on my own. My best friend s...

A.   4 June 2015: I'd suggest that you just split everything down the middle. I think girl 3 is being reasonable in asking for the master bedroom since you will all be using her living room set, so I'd accept that and not ask her for any more money. I've lived wi... (read in full...)

We messaged as friends after the breakup. So why the change in her tone, after so long?

Q.   Hi guys Apologies in advance for this mammoth of an essay! I broke up with my girlfriend 2 years ago. It was a mutual thing (we realised we had different ambitions and priorities) and we managed to remain friends afterwards, even meeting...

A.   4 June 2015: OP the fact of the matter is this - her current relationship does and should take priority over any friendship she has with you. You might not like it and you might not think it necessary from the point of view that there is nothing between the two ... (read in full...)

Wife and I don't talk anymore ,house is silent. Any ideas on how to break this behavior?

Q.   I need an advice on how to turn thigs back to where there were with my wife. We ve been married for more than 20 years. Our only child went to college across the country and stayed there to live. So, it's just 2 of us in a house. I have to admi...

A.   1 June 2015: From what you write, it sounds as if your wife has been trying to express how she's feeling and what her issues are with the marriage for a long time yet nothing has changed. These 'long conversations' about you drinking were her attempts at asking ... (read in full...)

Why are women turned off by inexperienced men?

Q.   Why does inexperience turn women off ? Why is it that if a guy never had a girlfriend before, he is a turn off to the vast majority of girls that are non-virgins and have had their share of boyfriends or just been in a relationship before, and sadly ...

A.   30 May 2015: I completely agree with YouWish, it makes no difference to me how much experience a man has. One thing which can be an issue though, is that some inexperienced men can be bitter about it and that IS a turn off. But if they are not and they are ... (read in full...)

Is my wife lying? She says she can't remember back 15 years ago whether the guy had a large penis or not

Q.   Ive been married to my wife 15 years. When I first met her, i remember her telling me of a former sex partner who was big in penis size. When i brought that fact up recently, she denies anything was ever big. She says she dont remember even ...

A.   27 May 2015: 'I feel my wife really has that mentality but tried to fit in so bad and be liked that she made some terrible mistakes. Mistakes that cant be taken back.' Having sex with someone for the wrong reasons may be a mistake, but it's not a terrible... (read in full...)

Is my wife lying? She says she can't remember back 15 years ago whether the guy had a large penis or not

Q.   Ive been married to my wife 15 years. When I first met her, i remember her telling me of a former sex partner who was big in penis size. When i brought that fact up recently, she denies anything was ever big. She says she dont remember even ...

A.   26 May 2015: Yes it's possible. If she felt used or pressured for example, that could far overpower any good physical sensations she experienced. If you don't believe me, consider this. I work as a volunteer rape counsellor and many of the victims experience ... (read in full...)

How do I keep my friend safe? why was I agressive?...and why didn't he stop me,or get upset?

Q.   Hi I’m a bit worried, I had just gotten yelled at rather bad by my family I went to be all snuggly with a good friend and yea was crying and quite a bit upset...and I did this terrible thing. Like I hardly knew but I asked if I could be not nice ...

A.   25 May 2015: OP it's not a case of staying away from your friend when you're upset, it's a case of learning how to deal with your feelings properly without wanting to physically hurt another person. I agree you could do with speaking to a counsellor of some ... (read in full...)

Am I unreasonable to be upset that she won't come out for my birthday meal with family?

Q.   IT is my Birthday next week and my family are going for a meal in the evening. Naturally they have invited my girlfriend of three years. She says she doesn't know if she can come because she has plans with her family during the day, and it may put ...

A.   20 May 2015: If she is the same age as you, could it be she is getting grief from her family if they feel she is spending too much time with you and not enough focusing on other things like family, friends and college? That happened to me when I was around 1... (read in full...)

Should I tell my good friend that I'm worried about her? Drinking and drugs?

Q.   She’s 40 and I’m two years her junior. We’ve been friends since I was born. We even lived together for 3 years (I let her stay with me because she had nowhere to go) and we get along well. However… as we grew up our lives changed. I got married an...

A.   19 May 2015: She probably will try to rationalise your attitude, but that's when you can say that you don't get the sense that these so called fun things she's doing don't seem to make her truly happy. I think if you simply tell her that you're worried she's not ... (read in full...)

Always young and physically perfect: Why do the porn mags and sites predominately use these type of women?

Q.   Lots of questions from women worried that they don't meet mens beauty standards and the usual answers say something along the lines of men are forgiving of flaws, women are their own worst enemies etc But when one looks at the images men consume ...

A.   17 May 2015: This question is just like asking why men with pot bellies don't get given many leading man roles in Hollywood. As Abella has already said, it's fantasy, and whether you like it or not it's human nature to appreciate physical beauty. You must admit ... (read in full...)

Guy from work asked me out on FB and didn't accept "no"!

Q.   SORRY THIS IS LONG I AM VERY WORRIED PLEASE PLEAsE HELP ME. Need to explain.. I accepted a friend request on FB from a male work colleague. Stupid I know please dont hate on me and I shouldn't have I know, I hate myself for it!! please I'm ...

A.   13 May 2015: I think you should do exactly what you said, keep it professional and if he asks say you don't mix business with pleasure. I also very much doubt that he'll bad mouth you as that would involve telling people you rejected him which isn't something ... (read in full...)

Freelance employee- how much should he be paid?

Q.   I run an IT repair business in uk, which i own. I therefore pay for all my advertiding costs for getting new business. I'm looking for a freelance engineer, to be available on an ad hoc basis, paid by the hour. I feel if i pay 25% of labour charge...

A.   12 May 2015: I think you'll struggle to find anyone to take the job if you pay them a quarter of what their work is worth. After all, if they are willing to work freelance on an as hoc basis, what's to stop them advertising themselves and making a great deal ... (read in full...)

Should I drop a hint to my girlfriend that my birthday is coming up soon?

Q.   My Birthday is coming up soon. I've been with my g/f since the start of the year, and we dated a bit end of last year. I haven't hinted at the timing of my birthday, nor has she asked when it is. I don't think any mutual friends know for sure wh...

A.   10 May 2015: Sorry hit enter too soon! That should have said: Simply mention it in passing and I'm sure she'll pick up on it right away.... (read in full...)

Should I drop a hint to my girlfriend that my birthday is coming up soon?

Q.   My Birthday is coming up soon. I've been with my g/f since the start of the year, and we dated a bit end of last year. I haven't hinted at the timing of my birthday, nor has she asked when it is. I don't think any mutual friends know for sure wh...

A.   10 May 2015: Yeah I'd feel awful if I missed my boyfriend's birthday so I think you should tell her in advance. Do you know when hers is? If not there's a great way to open the conversation. Otherwise, simply mention it in ... (read in full...)

Why are (many) women disgusted by sexual interest from an older man?

Q.   At work, I have been told by young girls that some of the older "gentlemen" touch them and make passes at them (ignoring the illegal aspect, some reason why they don't officially complain), and these girls have complained to me about it, also saying ...

A.   8 May 2015: This is now my last post on this because you're obviously happier being stuck in the bitter barn than trying to listen to advice that shakes your belief that it's all women's fault. 'Ugly men do not have equal odds of success with women. But they... (read in full...)

My Boyfriend does not want to kiss. How can I resolve this with him?

Q.   My Boyfriend of 2 years does not like kissing and gets annoyed if I try to discuss it with him. We were about to have sex and I upfront asked him what is it about it he doesn't like. He then refused to have sex with me or discuss it and told me ...

A.   7 May 2015: I think it's about time you started getting pissed off at him for constantly dismissing your attempts to talk about this. And I'd absolutely not be having any more sex with him until he learns that it's not all about his pleasure. It's not about ... (read in full...)

Why are (many) women disgusted by sexual interest from an older man?

Q.   At work, I have been told by young girls that some of the older "gentlemen" touch them and make passes at them (ignoring the illegal aspect, some reason why they don't officially complain), and these girls have complained to me about it, also saying ...

A.   7 May 2015: This is a good article that sums this up better than I can. http://www.doctornerdlove.com/2012/06/privilege-entitlement-dating/all/1/... (read in full...)

Why are (many) women disgusted by sexual interest from an older man?

Q.   At work, I have been told by young girls that some of the older "gentlemen" touch them and make passes at them (ignoring the illegal aspect, some reason why they don't officially complain), and these girls have complained to me about it, also saying ...

A.   7 May 2015: @male anon You say it's not about entitlement, then go on to say that it's unfair of women to 'want the option' to react differently to different approaches from men. Well yes, they do and they can. Just because a particular chat up line worked f... (read in full...)

Why are (many) women disgusted by sexual interest from an older man?

Q.   At work, I have been told by young girls that some of the older "gentlemen" touch them and make passes at them (ignoring the illegal aspect, some reason why they don't officially complain), and these girls have complained to me about it, also saying ...

A.   5 May 2015: OP I have no idea where you work, but I've never worked in an environment where a woman would openly ask a male colleague to wash her boobs! I genuinely can't even imagine a situation in which that would be the norm and I fear any advice I give may ... (read in full...)

Why are (many) women disgusted by sexual interest from an older man?

Q.   At work, I have been told by young girls that some of the older "gentlemen" touch them and make passes at them (ignoring the illegal aspect, some reason why they don't officially complain), and these girls have complained to me about it, also saying ...

A.   4 May 2015: I meant to add - imagine how you'd feel if a woman 20 or 30 years older than you made overt sexual advances towards you. I'm sure there are many extremely sexy women in that age bracket, but I'm guessing 9 times out of 10 you'd prefer someone your ... (read in full...)

Why are (many) women disgusted by sexual interest from an older man?

Q.   At work, I have been told by young girls that some of the older "gentlemen" touch them and make passes at them (ignoring the illegal aspect, some reason why they don't officially complain), and these girls have complained to me about it, also saying ...

A.   4 May 2015: It's because they are not attracted to the other guys. There may be exceptions to this rule, such as with the other colleague you mention (or George Clooney!), but 9 times out of 10 a man in his 50s or 60s reminds me of my Dad or his friends and ... (read in full...)

Why do women expect men to be mind readers?

Q.   Why do women expect men to be mind readers? My wife has been grousing around lately. She finally erupted, "Just once I'd like to come home and find you made the salad for dinner!" "You want a salad? Call/text/e-mail and it's yours!...

A.   2 May 2015: Male anon - if your lawnmower needs to be fixed as frequently as dinner needs to be made, I'd suggest you invest in a new one!... (read in full...)

I want to say something to him and at least find out if theres any reason why he thought it was ok to make a plan and then disappear.

Q.   I met a guy online several weeks ago and we went out a few times and had a great time. Recently we had plans to go out on Tuesday but then he cancelled last minute, apologized and said it was because he was asked to pick up an extra shift at work ...

A.   29 April 2015: Yeah I'd say nothing either. After he behaved so rudely, don't give him the satisfaction of knowing you care even a little.... (read in full...)

Why do women expect men to be mind readers?

Q.   Why do women expect men to be mind readers? My wife has been grousing around lately. She finally erupted, "Just once I'd like to come home and find you made the salad for dinner!" "You want a salad? Call/text/e-mail and it's yours!...

A.   29 April 2015: She wants you to take the initiative and do something for her without being asked. It sounds like you got in first that day, yet you waited for her to get home so she could make the dinner. Presumably you are more than capable of doing this once in ... (read in full...)

I found out about his daughter a year into our relationship, and he didn't lend me money for my school fees because he puts her first!

Q.   I'm 24yrs and my guy is 29yrs too we have been friends since childhood but he asked me for a relationship as at last year so after one year he told me he had a 10yrs daughter out of wedlock and he said the reason why he refused to tell me such at ...

A.   28 April 2015: I think the title is maybe a bit misleading on this question. It looks like you are now in a relationship with this man after being friends for years, then you asked him for a loan of some money and he said he can't because he has to pay for his ... (read in full...)

My wife wants children and I don't she knew this when we married. Am I selfish?

Q.   My Wife thinks I'm selfish because I don't want to have children, whereas she is desperate. I'm 29 and she is 30, we've been together 5 years, married just under 1 year. To be honest I don't like kids, I've never understood the appeal of children. ...

A.   26 April 2015: You've had some great advice already, but I just wanted to add one thing. My auntie and uncle never had children, and she's always been happy with that choice as far as I could tell. However, I was talking to her a few months back and she said that ... (read in full...)

Can a marriage last if only one side is in love with the other?

Q.   Ok so I've got in to a big mess and take full responsibility and need some advice. Please don't judge me as I hate myself enough right now..... 8 years ago I met a wonderful man whilst visiting some friends in another part of the UK. We hit it o...

A.   25 April 2015: I think you need to call off the wedding. I know it will be hard and he'll be upset, but you shouldn't be dreading your own wedding to the point that you're in tears all the time - you should be excited! Marriage takes work at the best of times an... (read in full...)

Should I not go to the city of my dreams and work? He thinks I'm being selfish

Q.   Hi, i met this boy 2 years ago who happened to be studying in the same university as I do. He was not from the city (A) where the university is, and I am from the city! so he lived in (A) for about 5 years and graduated during which we met and ...

A.   22 April 2015: From his point of view, he's probably thinking that he uprooted his life once to be with you and is now pretty settled, then you up and decide you want him to move again. I'm not saying you're wrong for wanting to follow your dreams, but it does ... (read in full...)

How can I encourage my Bf to tell me what's wrong rather than just turning away from me when he's upset? Or time to take a break?

Q.   I have boyfriend trouble... He's a good guy, and I love him, but there are these moments when everything goes wrong and it's been happening more often lately. He'll get upset with me because of something I said or did, and get angry and turns away ...

A.   21 April 2015: I think he is manipulating you with his behaviour. When you expressed upset about a legitimate problem (being woken up by his late night texts), he said you were taking his 'joy' from him. That's his way of controlling your behaviour - so that you ... (read in full...)

Is it wrong or weird that I'm kind of jealous of younger women?

Q.   Women it seems, are generally valued for their youth more than men are, despite me being a guy, as in human male, there are times I am jealous, envious of how women are valued for their youth more than men are. The reason why is because i'm a gu...

A.   19 April 2015: What about the women who don't get approached? Men seem to think all women are constantly beating dates off with a stick but that's far from the truth. Many women barely get approached at all, and passively waiting for men to come and ask you out is ... (read in full...)

I like someone online but I have a real boyfriend. How do I get over this crush?

Q.   There is a lot I love about my boyfriend of 3 years but recently I have an online crush with someone from a videogame I play. About this time a year ago, I started to like someone online as well and even told my boyfriend about it because we usual...

A.   19 April 2015: OP no-one is trying to insult you. We are trying to give you the tough love you so obviously need. Take a look at what you've written. In a nutshell you're saying you are feeling really sorry for yourself because you keep putting yourself... (read in full...)

I just want to go to the party and make him wish he hadn't done what he had done, am I being stupid?

Q.   I'm going to a party on Sunday night and my ex boyfriend is going to be there. He cheated on me a couple of weeks ago and stupidly I want him back. He hasn't called or text since we split up and I just want to go to the party and make him wish he ...

A.   17 April 2015: It's not stupid to feel like that, but it's not going to help you in the long term. You can do WAY better than some scumbag who cheated on you then did nothing to try to make it up to you. It's hard but I think you need to let this one go, and look ... (read in full...)

Colleague turned off by platonic comment I made?

Q.   I was talking to a male colleague about keeping in touch when he leaves for vacation. I joking said, "you're not going to blow me off if I try to reach out to you over the next few weeks?" and he became really uptight and offended. He just ended the ...

A.   12 April 2015: If it were me and a colleague of mine asked for my contact details before I left to go on holiday, then made a comment like that, I'd think it was way too forward and demanding and I'd be a bit freaked out. It might have been a joke to you, but to ... (read in full...)

It turned me off that he accepted my offer to split the bill on our first date!

Q.   I went on a first date with a guy I met, we connected and I really liked him, but then he was ok with me paying for my dinner. I offered to pay before he reached for the bill and he said "sure, if you want to." So he told the waiter to split it. He ...

A.   11 April 2015: Being honest, I have no idea why women still expect men to pay in this day and age. Presumably you also work, so why shouldn't you pick up your share of the bill? I know lots of people disagree with my opinion on this, but I think it's an unfair and ... (read in full...)

After me being madly in love with him for years, he wants FWB!

Q.   Soooooooo after 5 five years being maddly "in love" with a friend who always blew me away, he finally decided to tell me about his feelings and, he want to be friends with benefits , and idk i like him IN THAT WAY but i also want him in other way ...

A.   6 April 2015: Oh wow! I just read your latest reply male anon and I'm curious to know what you think the woman should have done differently? Not had as much sex with your friends? Not been so loveable?! Anyway here is my advice to your friends: 'I didn... (read in full...)

After me being madly in love with him for years, he wants FWB!

Q.   Soooooooo after 5 five years being maddly "in love" with a friend who always blew me away, he finally decided to tell me about his feelings and, he want to be friends with benefits , and idk i like him IN THAT WAY but i also want him in other way ...

A.   6 April 2015: Male anon, clearly this post has hit some sort of nerve for you, but as it's already been pointed out this is not a battle of the sexes. Women are not all out there trying to manipulate men into loving them, just like all men don't want to only use ... (read in full...)

My boyfriend won't stop taking drugs. should I leave him?

Q.   I am 25 and my partner is 30. We have been together for 8 months and have had an uneasy relationship. We love each other very much, but he takes class A drugs occasionally and I did not like this. When I came to the decision to leave him he told me ...

A.   6 April 2015: As someone who has been in this exact situation before (albeit with weed and alcohol rather than class A drugs), I think you should leave him. All that will happen otherwise is he'll lie to you about doing it, and you'll end up with relationship ... (read in full...)

After me being madly in love with him for years, he wants FWB!

Q.   Soooooooo after 5 five years being maddly "in love" with a friend who always blew me away, he finally decided to tell me about his feelings and, he want to be friends with benefits , and idk i like him IN THAT WAY but i also want him in other way ...

A.   2 April 2015: Male anon, let's flip things round and consider a young woman who thinks it's ok to take advantage of a man's feelings for her to get him to buy her nice things. Using your logic, you could argue that the man is just as much to blame, as he's using ... (read in full...)

About Pornography: are my thoughts about women who like pornography accurate? Or simplistic generalizations? Or incorrect assumption?

Q.   This is just a general question about something I've wondered about. Its safe to say that men who like porn come from all walks of life. But what kind of woman likes it or at least accepts it within a relationship? Often I'll read commen...

A.   24 March 2015: As someone who has watched porn and doesn't mind if partners do either, I have to say you have just described the polar opposite of me! I have no tattoos and medium blonde hair, and the only wild-ish piercing I have is my belly button (I was 17... (read in full...)

What's the lowdown on the down there hair?

Q.   I guess my question is more for the men on DC, but of course I am also interested in women's comments. So : it seems the general consensus , at least among the younger generations, is that a woman SHOULD be hairless down there :the hairless...

A.   23 March 2015: Personally, I think that neatly trimmed is best. Contrary to what the male anon said, shaving is problematic to me as it results in ingrown hairs every time no matter what I do. I actually asked my doctor about it as a couple got infected (sorry for ... (read in full...)

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