Can't get a job without experience, no experience without a job.
Q. Not particularly a relationship question but its really dragging me down. I graduated from university in 2012 and haven't been able to find a job. I did a business management degree and I don;t expect to walk into a higher end job or management ...
A. 5 February 2014: Everyone else has made good suggestions about broadening your search and looking for apprenticeships, but have you also considered asking in your current place of work if you can help them with some of their admin? You could offer to do the rota and ... (read in full...)
How do I get more affection from my girlfriend?
Q. How do I get my girlfriend to get more physical with me? Before you decide I'm an ass, please hear me out. She goes to school with me but she is two years older and she sits by me at lunch and behind me in Algebra II. I helped her with math when she ...
A. 4 February 2014: I know this is the last thing you want to hear, but your girlfriend is 100% not ready to have a boyfriend. It's the absolute last thing she needs in fact. She obviously enjoys the attention she gets from guys, yet when it gets to the time to act on ... (read in full...)
Girlfriend keeps pressuring me to perform oral and I hate it.
Q. I don't know how to say all this without coming out like an asshole but please hear me out. My girlfriend keeps pressuring me to go down on her because she goes down on me but I really don't want to. I've tried it before with several girls ...
A. 1 February 2014: You're absolutely right when you say you shouldn't have to perform any sex act you don't like. That is your right, just as it is the right of every other man and woman in the world not do do something they don't want to. However, your girlfriend ... (read in full...)
Why do girls suddenly distance themselves from a guy, when things seem to be going great?
Q. Dear cupid I have experienced during my dating that sometimes girls suddenly distance themselves without any warning or explanation whilst you are dating a girl. (She doesn't like anyone else and she's single ). Why the sudden change in attitude w...
A. 28 January 2014: 'She mentions something like talking isn't obligatory and it's not a must that she should leave everything to talk to you when she's replying to others.' This sounds like she thinks you are being way too demanding of her time and attention. She's... (read in full...)
I quit drinking and now my friend is acting weird and I feel uncomfortable.
Q. Dear all, This is not a relationship problem, rather a freindship related problem. Your views would be much appreciated. Not too long ago I gave up alcohol for good for various reasons, such as I used to binge drink, drink to drown my sorrows...
A. 25 January 2014: 'I have a feeling she would like to see me fall back down that hole, as it will make her feel better.' You are exactly right about this. Sadly, many people deliberately try to sabotage a friends decision to stay sober or their new diet and exercis... (read in full...)
Boyfriend likes natural beauty and doesn't want me wearing makeup
Q. My new boyfriend doesn't want me to wear makeup. We are very close and have been friends a while before this. I don't wear heavy makeup. Usually eyeliner, mascara, and a neutral eyeshadow as I am kind of pale. My makeup doesn't look tacky, and it ...
A. 22 January 2014: If you like wearing makeup then continue to wear it. No-one should ever begin seeing someone with the intention of trying to change them. He knew you wear makeup before you started dating and he was happy enough to start seeing you anyway, so he ... (read in full...)
Tired of my boyfriend's crap!
Q. Not sure where else to post this but hoping for some advice. My boyfriend, who is 34, and I have been living together for 3 years and I have asked him to clean up after himself in the bathroom many times. Specifically, he sits on the toilet in su...
A. 19 January 2014: 'He says that it is not a big deal for me to clean up the toilet after him' This is the bit that would utterly hack me off. I mean his behaviour is disgusting and I don't think I could be with someone who thinks it's acceptable to sh*t all over th... (read in full...)
My girlfriend storms out after an argument instead of talking it through
Q. I don't know what to do. When my girlfriend and I fight, she stays so mad for so long, and I don't know how to deal with it. We had a fight last night that somehow caused her to drive off mad. We didn't speak for 24 hours, til I called her tonig...
A. 19 January 2014: I agree with you and would be very annoyed if my boyfriend acted this way after an argument. Life is far too short to spend days without speaking to someone, particularly the person you are supposed to love the most in the world. As an adult couple ... (read in full...)
She's always got excuses not to spend time with me
Q. So I met a girl after ending a 10 year relationship. The new girl is much younger than me and she started the flirting and all that sweet stuff. So I really thought she was into me. We've been seeing each other for 8 weeks now. We live far apart but ...
A. 15 January 2014: I agree that it doesn't sound like she is 100% devoted to you. However, after only 8 weeks together you probably shouldn't be planning to move closer to her or expecting to be the centre if her world yet either. I don't think she is the one for you, ... (read in full...)
Could she be jealous?
Q. My friend always comments on how I'm so confident and always awes at my body. I love her but I think she has huge insecurity issues always talking about girls around us that happen to be beautiful and look good. however she still has a good heart. ...
A. 12 January 2014: I had a flatmate exactly like this at uni so I know what you're going through. The best way I can describe her is there was a bit of admiration and a bit of jealousy going on at the same time. For example, she was always complimenting my looks and ... (read in full...)
How to be more magnetic to people, some people are, how do they do it?
Q. Some people have that magnetic quality to them, you know "it" that something that makes people want to be near them, to chat to them or be their friend. They arent always the most outgoing or attractive people, they may or may not be funny or witt...
A. 9 January 2014: I disagree that you are born with 'it' and believe charisma can be learned like any other skill. I actually read an interview once with a university lecturer who had studied this for years before writing a book about it. She believes that charisma, ... (read in full...)
Am I wrong to keep this quiet or right not to get involved?
Q. Hello everyone, I need help working out what to do for the best here. Basically, on New Years Eve one of my boyfriends female friends got very drunk told me that she had an affair several years ago with my boyfriends oldest brother. He was ...
A. 4 January 2014: Thanks everyone, I just wanted to make sure other people agreed that I was doing the right thing in keeping it quiet so you've made me feel a lot better about my decision. One thing I'd like to point out (not that it really matters but I just wanted ... (read in full...)
I love a woman who is 8 years older than me but I don't know if I want to marry her and she's pushing for it
Q. Hello. I am a 39 year old man from Ireland. 4 years ago I started seeing a single mum who has three kids. The lady is 8 years older than me and had just come out of a bad relationship. Things were fine in the beginning and we managed to open up to...
A. 4 January 2014: After 4 years together she's not exactly out of line in asking for commitment from you. It's a long time to spend with someone, and naturally she assumes your relationship has been moving forward towards that point.
The problem is, from your pos... (read in full...)
Is my boyfriend a miser?
Q. My boyfriend met my family for the first time last week and we all went out to lunch. I was embarrassed because at the end of the meal, he didn't even offer to pick up the tab. Is that a red flag? My family did notice it and commented on it later. ...
A. 1 January 2014: I don't think he should have had to offer to pay for you and your whole family, but I think he should have offered to pay something towards it. At least enough to cover his own share. Did he do that? Why do you think he should have paid for ... (read in full...)
I want a baby but can't get my husband on board!
Q. Hi I've been married to a wonderful man for 2 years (hes 25)but I can't get him on board to have a baby. I have always wanted to have my first before 30 and im 29 in a month. When I ask he says he wants children but that hes not ready yet. When I ...
A. 30 December 2013: This really comes down to what was discussed before you got married. If it was never brought up or if you thought you could talk him round later then that was a bad idea as people should always agree on these things before they get married. However ... (read in full...)
My girlfriend's previous lovers made her come but I can't seem to
Q. Hello Aunts! I am a 20 year old male who has been with my girlfriend for over a year now. She is the only woman I have ever been intimate with. My problem is that I cannot make her orgasm except by rubbing her clit and she is getting very...
A. 30 December 2013: "If it takes me 20 minutes and a lot of effort to have an orgasm then it's not really worth the trouble to me."
Unfortunately this is the way things are for most women. It is a lot easier for men to orgasm than it is for women. If she can't or... (read in full...)
My girlfriend's previous lovers made her come but I can't seem to
Q. Hello Aunts! I am a 20 year old male who has been with my girlfriend for over a year now. She is the only woman I have ever been intimate with. My problem is that I cannot make her orgasm except by rubbing her clit and she is getting very...
A. 29 December 2013: I'm guessing your girlfriend is talking about orgasming from penetrative sex itself? To be honest this has nothing to do with experience at all. Most women can't orgasm from sex alone and either oral or direct rubbing of the clitoris is the only way ... (read in full...)
Why is it more acceptable for women to use sex toys than it is for men?
Q. just a tought. why is it totally acceptable for girls the use of vibrators / stimulators and when it comes to males, the use of them makes you be seen as a perv, weirdo, looser... etc, etc... im in a ldr and we see each other every 3 months. My gf ...
A. 29 December 2013: I obviously can't answer for all women but I personally don't think there's anything weird about men using sex toys at all. It's the exact same thing as when women use them. Perhaps there is more of a stigma attached to men's toys since women's ones ... (read in full...)
Should I buy my boyfriend of 4 months the new Playstation 4?
Q. Hi Dear Cupid, I am in a LDR with a guy I met 4 months ago. We decided to make it official October of this year. Instead of exchanging gifts during Christmas time, it was a mutual decision for us to surprise each other with them in January when ...
A. 29 December 2013: I don't think this is so much to do with how long you have been together (although I do see that point), to me it's much more about the fact he's hinting for these expensive gifts from you and you now feel like you should spend way more than you ... (read in full...)
Am I overreacting to this text message that went wrong?
Q. Okay aunts and uncles, I really need help with a text message gone really wrong. Here is a layout of our relationship okay. He lives 4 hours away. We met one time before but we were not alone together remember that. He is coming down to spend a ...
A. 24 December 2013: I'm afraid I think your intuition is right and he has someone else (or is trying to make that the case). To be honest I think you deserve better anyway though - 6 years and he's only met you once? My parents met on vacation and lived 4 hours apart. ... (read in full...)
How do I know if he wants me for anything more than sex?
Q. I met this guy at a nightclub when all my friends were busy dancing etc. He approached me as he saw that I was on my own and I liked him so agreed to dance. I try to be subtle and genuine with people. He is currently working in the auto industry...
A. 21 December 2013: The only way to tell is to see how he acts with you. I'd never have sex with someone who I wasn't in a relationship with (ie it's been discussed that we're both into each other and are going to be exclusive), so if he's happy to get to that stage ... (read in full...)
Has anyone used a 'safe' option to reclaim self-esteem and then dumped 'safe' for 'hot'?
Q. Hello, Have any of you ladies on here suffered with some depression, low self esteem and insecurities to the point that while seeing a hot man, you can't enjoy it for the endless worrying that he will dump you for someone better? So, you end up d...
A. 21 December 2013: I have fairly low self esteem but I've never done anything like that. It doesn't make much sense to me either actually, because low self esteem cannot be 'cured' by a relationship with anyone whether they are 'safe' or not. It's much more deep ... (read in full...)
I'm disappointed my boyfriend's thoughtless Christmas gift to me!
Q. I accidentally stumbled across the Christmas gift my boyfriend got me (it was addressed to me). It was a very wide, hot pink watch with a heart-shaped face, from a mid-range brand. I'm a little confused, because we have been together for 1 year and ...
A. 18 December 2013: I've been with my boyfriend for 4 years and he still struggles to buy me gifts. I don't think it's because he doesn't care though, he just doesn't see the difference between the things I like and dislike. For example, I have two good watches (a ... (read in full...)
I'm disappointed my boyfriend's thoughtless Christmas gift to me!
Q. I accidentally stumbled across the Christmas gift my boyfriend got me (it was addressed to me). It was a very wide, hot pink watch with a heart-shaped face, from a mid-range brand. I'm a little confused, because we have been together for 1 year and ...
A. 18 December 2013: I've been with my boyfriend for 4 years and he still struggles to buy me gifts. I don't think it's because he doesn't care though, he just doesn't see the difference between the things I like and dislike. For example, I have two good watches (a ... (read in full...)
I'm thinking of divorcing my wife because she isn't pretty enough
Q. I will be as honest as I can, so i can have some honest responses.I need some suggestion from people who are on the same shoes or from anyone. I have been married for 3 years. I am 26 and my wife is 24. In my opinion i think my wife looks 6/10....
A. 15 December 2013: You have to leave her. You have no other choice - she will never fit the ideal of what you are looking for and she deserves someone who isn't embarrassed to be seen in public with her. Although I don't quite understand how you managed to stand up in ... (read in full...)
Should I tell my housemate that his girlfriend cheated on him?
Q. Basically, I haven't known my housemate for a long time. Only about 3 months and he and his girlfriend have been together for about 7 months. This guy is a wonderful, decent and honest who absolutely adores her. Last night, I discovered from ...
A. 8 December 2013: I think I would tell him that there are rumors going around and you felt he had a right to know about them, but that's as much as you should say as you don't really know what happened. Back when I was single, I met a guy on a night out. A gro... (read in full...)
When I lose my erection, I can't get it back for days! Is this normal?
Q. I'm in a relationship with someone and have been for 5 months. Everything has been great thus far, but we are starting to experience problems in the bedroom. Our sex is amazing. The best either of us have had. I have a great connection with my ...
A. 8 December 2013: It's the pressure you are putting yourself under that's causing this to happen. You worry that you won't be able to get an erection, which stresses you out and that stress kills the erection. It's a self-fulfilling prophecy. I think only having sex ... (read in full...)
He tried to stick me with the bill on our first meeting ...
Q. I met this guy who I thought really likes me. We exchanged phone numbers, and few days later he offered to meet. So we go for a walk in one of the cool areas of the city, and we walk and walk, walk and walk, talk and around 2 p.m. I felt naut...
A. 7 December 2013: Ok I think he should definitely have told you he had no money the minute you suggested getting food. If someone I'd just met asked me to go for lunch I would have said 'I'm sorry I didn't think we'd be eating so I didn't bring money with me', then ... (read in full...)
I consider her a friend, yet she says I'm using her. Any advice on how to deal with this?
Q. I met this girl at an AA meeting and she was really cute and flirty at first. We started talking, went to a midnight meeting and I took her back to my apartment and we made snacks. She ended up spending the night and we made out and when we got t...
A. 26 November 2013: You are totally using her for sex! I don't know where you get the idea that because you would never force (rape) her you are not using her, as those are two very different things.
Dude you don't seem to like her at all, in fact I'd go as far as t... (read in full...)
What do I do about this petty friend drama?
Q. I recently moved to a new town, and soon after I met a woman (Helen), who asked if I wanted to meet for coffee. That was yhree months ago. Two weeks later she introduced me to her landlady, Emma. I started going round to their house for a cup of ...
A. 26 November 2013: Honestly, you expect that people will grow out of this sort of thing but a surprising number don't unfortunately. If I were you I'd tell Helen that while you enjoy her company, you enjoy Emma's too and since you consider her to be a friend if yours ... (read in full...)
Why do girls like jerks?
Q. Why do girls typically go for the douchebags, and typically grody asshoke frat boys that spend 5 days a week in the gym? To me it seems like the only difference between a jerk asking and any other guy is that the prick, because of his false sense of ...
A. 26 November 2013: I don't like jerks and never have done, so there are definitely women out there who don't go for that type of guy. Another thing I don't like is bitterness though, and I'm afraid your post screams of it. You are so mad at women for choosing oth... (read in full...)
I wouldn't sign the pre-nuptual agreement, so now he wants a post-nup
Q. Husband wanted us to sign prenuptials(stating that in the event of a divorce, everyone will walk away with what they had prior to the marriage.) before we got married 2 year ago. I refused though he vehemently asked for it. Well, he has requested ...
A. 17 October 2013: Don't sign anything! I agree that he's probably worked hard for his money, but that doesn't mean you don't deserve anything if you get a divorce. Think about it - what if you finish school then have kids. If you spend several years at home with them ... (read in full...)
I'm saddened and turned off by her?
Q. So recently my ex and I got back together. We are lesbians. I thought she truly xared for me. In the past few months even prior to my breakup ive been on a quest to stop masking my beautiful features. So ive begin getting my hair done weekly, ...
A. 16 October 2013: So you have been making more of an effort with your appearance and you're sad and turned off that your girlfriend is more attracted to you? Finding you more attractive now does not make her shallow, it's normal and is what most people would want ... (read in full...)
My finace doesn't trust me
Q. MY FIANCEE OF 2YEARS IS SO POSSESSIVE am dating a young girl and we have a nine months old baby girl but in a time of a months now she has become so insecure that-every time am home she rushes to check my mobile phone inbox,sent items and drafts a...
A. 14 October 2013: You say she's never 'caught you', does that mean you have been with others and got away with it or does it mean you have been 100% faithful? The answer will affect my advice. Thanks :)... (read in full...)
If a girl is just not interested why make excuses for putting things off
Q. There is a girl I like. We went out once. Ever since then whenever I causally ask her out she keeps making excuses. Some I can believe like she says "Friday is her family day." And other excuses like that. The one she uses a lot though is that she ...
A. 13 October 2013: Just as another possibility, she could be nervous. I am quite shy (although I hide it well) and when I was a bit younger I would agree to go on dates with guys I genuinely liked, but as the time got nearer I'd be so nervous that I'd often cancel. It ... (read in full...)
Why do guys want the lights on, or my shirt off, during sex?
Q. Hi peoples! Not to prescribe to stereotypes or anything, but it seems like every guy I've been with always says "I want to see you" when I say I want to keep my shirt on during sex or want the lights turned off. Anyone else notice this or w...
A. 7 October 2013: Because they want to see you! I'm quite shocked this surprises you actually - men liking naked women is not really news! Is there a reason why you are willing to have sex with someone but you don't want them to look at your body?... (read in full...)
BF says he's Committed but still clubbing. I don't like it. What should I do?
Q. My boyfriend sometimes likes to go out without me. I don't get it. I mean, why go to bars and clubs if you are not single? Tonight we were out with his friend and at 2AM he basically told me to go home. (I have work at 8AM anyway) but he wanted "...
A. 5 October 2013: I don't think your reasoning that you shouldn't go to bars and clubs if you're not single is correct. I have been with my boyfriend for 4 years and I still go out to bars and clubs regularly with my girlfriends. There is nothing untoward going on, ... (read in full...)
What to do to get her back or to forget her?
Q. i need tip to get her back or to forget her? When i was in highschool i met this girl and we become friends instantly after some time i fell in love with her. But since i was leaving town after that year i just suppressed my feelings. But even Aft...
A. 3 October 2013: Why don't you reach out to her and see if there is still a chance? I know she was seeing your friend, but it doesn't sound like it was serious so I think you should go for it. If you both had such strong feelings for each other then it's got up be ... (read in full...)
Am I being paranoid? Or do I have reason to feel this way?
Q. I tried to post this yesterday but I'm not sure if it's because I posted it anonymously that it didn't get through? My boyfriend and I have just celebrated our 4 year anniversary. From my point of view we have been mostly happy, aside from a 3 w...
A. 3 October 2013: Thanks everyone. I know it was a long time ago and we've been happy since then, but if it does turn out to the case that he dumped me after a whole year together, tried to get back with his ex, then when that failed came crawling back to me, I'm ... (read in full...)
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