My Gf never initiates sex. Makes me feel I'm the only one who wants it. How can I encourage her to initiate sex?
Q. For the ladies, Ive been with my babe for 4 going on 5 years and we had sex about 2 months ago and both lost our virginity to each other. Awesome! But the whole time we have been together I always (if not mostly) initiate our intimacy and as her ...
A. 28 June 2014: I have a few questions for you OP. First of all, am I right that you are saying you have only been having sex for 2 months? If so then it's still very new to both of you. If your girlfriend is in the same age bracket as you, she probably needs a bit ... (read in full...)
Is my dad's lack of trust justified?
Q. My dad won't trust me. I am currently studying abroad in China and I have been here for a year already. My father never gave me any trouble until I got a boyfriend over here. He is four years older than me and I understand why that would worry them, ...
A. 24 June 2014: While I do see the point the other posters are making, I don't think your Dad is being fair by asking to to prove everything you tell him. Asking you to check in with him daily is a reasonable request given the distance and his tendency to worr... (read in full...)
I want an independant man, and I'm seeing a momma's boy
Q. I have been dating my partner for many years now. At first we both lived in a different town to our families and thats how we met. when the time came to move home he decided to move my way leaving family and friends behind, we bought a place ...
A. 23 June 2014: Your age and location suggests that it's different people, but the details in this post are almost identical to your situation: http://www.dearcupid.org/question/he-acts-like-a-child-when-he-wants.html. There is some very good advice in there for ... (read in full...)
He knew religion was important to me, but now he says he won't convert
Q. Hi, My boyfriend and I have known each other for a year and have been dating for about 6 months. We absolutely love each other and we have a very strong relationship. I am Muslim and he is Christian. We used to be close friends before we started ...
A. 23 June 2014: I think your boyfriend probably did believe he could convert for you when he said it, but is only now realising the huge implications of doing so. I am like him, in that I was raised in a Christian household but my family do not strongly practice ... (read in full...)
My ex and I broke up should I still ask her to go on a trip we had planned?
Q. My ex and I broke up a month ago (I'm trying to convince her to take me back) we had plans to travel and visit my sister next week. It's an 8 hour drive and we were going to spend a week there. Should I ask her to still come with me since it would ...
A. 20 June 2014: 'BUT in the 18 month relationship we had I never even thought of cheating.' Do you think that's an achievement? I've been in my relationship for over 5 years now and I've never thought about cheating on my boyfriend either. Because I love him! I d... (read in full...)
My ex and I broke up should I still ask her to go on a trip we had planned?
Q. My ex and I broke up a month ago (I'm trying to convince her to take me back) we had plans to travel and visit my sister next week. It's an 8 hour drive and we were going to spend a week there. Should I ask her to still come with me since it would ...
A. 18 June 2014: I think you should go on your trip on your own and have a long, hard think about what you really want. Only if you can truly, without ANY doubt, say that you will be happy if you NEVER live the binge drinking lifestyle again, should you consider ... (read in full...)
My father died and my husband has been unkind on Father's Day
Q. My husband has always been difficult. One moment supportive, the next very much not. Having had a dreadful year dealing with two cancers, radiotherapy and chemotherapy, to top it all my father has just died. Today has been very hard, Father's d...
A. 15 June 2014: I have to say I think if my father had just died and hasn't even been buried yet, then I'd expect a bit more support than that from my husband. I can understand your husband wanted to see his own Dad, and that is fine, but to leave you alone on a ... (read in full...)
What can I do to make my girlfriend feel better about herself?
Q. I don't know what to do about my girlfriend. When we first got together she was really confident and sure of herself (maybe because she'd just lost a huge amount of weight). About six months into our relationship she got really paranoid about my ex ...
A. 14 June 2014: You can stop complimenting every 'pretty, cool and attractive' female you meet and reserve those sorts of comments for your girlfriend. How would you feel if she commented on her male friends and gushed about how charming, handsome and muscular they ... (read in full...)
I'm worried my girlfriend fancies her personal trainer!
Q. I need your help My girlfriend gos to the gym everyday except weekend and once a week she does a personal trainer session with a lad at first I thought nothing of this now I think she fancy s him she baths every night before seeing him and i...
A. 14 June 2014: First of all, I think you need to stop listening to this 'friend'. Why is she telling you all of this? Is she volunteering the information, or are you asking her for it? If it's the latter you need to stop and start asking your girlfriend for ... (read in full...)
Can tall girls get away with heels?
Q. I am 6 feet (183cm) tall and u sometimes wear heels Should tall girls wear heels what do you think ??? ...
A. 13 June 2014: Yep I say go for it! I'm a little shorter than you at 5ft 10ins, but I like to wear super high heels now and again which take me way over the 6ft mark. If others don't like it, then tough! Plus, it works for Elle Macpherson and co right?!... (read in full...)
She is refusing to face financial facts and is moving back home to her parents
Q. How can me and my fiancée come to an agreement? She's lived with me in a house I own and I knew she had some debts so I sat down with her to help sort them out. Around £20,000 in debt including car payments. She has 3 horses which cost her around £...
A. 12 June 2014: I have to say I agree with the OP here. It might be that horses are a 'part of who she is', but if she's £20,000 in debt then she is living way beyond her means and needs a reality check.
If I were you OP, I'd stand my ground as the last thing yo... (read in full...)
My girlfriend who works as a stripper, gets drunk at work and has things done to her, is jealous of my female friends on Facebook and insists that I un-friend them.
Q. Hi, my girlfriend of about a year broke up for a couple of months ...got back together 2 months ago. During that time I made made friends on facebook with a girl from work. There was a brief flirty exchange when she accepted my friend request but ...
A. 7 June 2014: I have to disagree with some of the other posters, and say I don't think you did anything wrong given the fact this flirtation happened when you two were not together. It would be different if you had continued to message her afterwards behind y... (read in full...)
Surely he will feel disappointed that my nipples are not the way he prefers?
Q. I have a question that may seem so trivial but it's worrying me . The man I am involved with has a thing for and a preference for large nipples. He really prefers them and they turn him on a lot but the problem is I have reasonably sized breasts but ...
A. 2 June 2014: No he won't be disappointed. He might prefer big nipples, just like you might prefer a six pack, or a hairy chest, or whatever, but it won't be the ONLY thing that turns him on. Or it shouldn't be anyway. So please try not to worry about it and ... (read in full...)
My question is why some lasses follow you around when you give up on them? Give her a second chance or will that lead to heartbreak?
Q. Hi I was sort of knowing a girl and dating her but I felt she was a bit cold and distant so I thought she's not interested and moved on! To tell you further, I actually liked her a lot and it was sort of heartbreaking to move on! Surely it took s...
A. 29 May 2014: It depends what you mean when you say she was cold and distant. I dated a guy once who was very full on from the start - texting, calling, wanting to see me constantly, inviting himself to stay at mine and just generally rushing things. That freaked ... (read in full...)
My friend seems selfish and ungrateful, or am I just too sensitive?
Q. Why does she behave like that? Am I overreacting? So my older married friend needed a babysitter for the weekend and I love kids and was bored and needed her to do my hair so I spent the weekend with her and her family. I slept with her ...
A. 27 May 2014: I'm afraid I have to agree with the others and say you sound very insensitive and also quite immature. You complain about her kids, expect her to provide slippers for you (which is not a standard thing to do at all) and you find it funny that she ... (read in full...)
Don't like being friend with my ex, but there is no way
Q. Hi everybody, Since ever the one in the group that is single and always dating new girls and all the past relations were like heaven. Everybody likes me, even my ex-girlfriends and I love everybody, I was happy. There was a girl whom I always lik...
A. 26 May 2014: I totally agree with the advice that Cerberus and Honeypie have given you so I won't repeat that, but what I will say is that it sounds like your ex was on the rebound when you started dating each other. I'm sure she didn't mean to hurt you or mess ... (read in full...)
I'm so sick and tired of being leeched off of.
Q. Here's the situation. I use to live alone in a two bedroom apartment. One room for me to sleep, use computer, hang out, etc. The other room was my workout room with all my weights, benchs, punching bag, etc. I enjoyed the solitary lifestyle. My own ...
A. 15 May 2014: OP I agree with you in that I would do anything I could to help my family if they needed it, but that also means I'd expect them to treat me with the same respect in return. And your family are not. Any obligations you feel towards them are now null ... (read in full...)
Wife said I could leave so she can take care of ailing mother.
Q. My wife and I have been married for 3 years and been together for 6. We are very happy and close and I couldn't ask for a better partner! Sometime before we met her mother was diagnosed with a rare cancer and given a very brief life expectancy, ...
A. 15 May 2014: It sounds to me like she expects you are going to leave her because of this and she wants to sort it out now rather than have you leave her later down the line. You say you like your own space, but do you mean all the time? I like a bit of ti... (read in full...)
I cheated on my boyfriend, he won't forgive and forget...
Q. I've been with my boyfriend for about four years. Two years ago, I cheated on him. My boyfriend is much older than me, and as far as I can remember our age difference had nothing to do with me cheating on him. I also have borderline personality ...
A. 14 May 2014: OP, I have to say I think it's outrageous that you think it's ok to direct insults and abuse at those who have taken time out of their lives to give you advice. It's absolutely not on to talk to others like that. If you don't like the advice you a... (read in full...)
How do I react to my daughter dating a non-Jew?
Q. I have a daughter who is in a relationship with an atheist man. In order to be with him and out of our disapproving sight she moved far away. Now she wants to reconcile with us and come back home. We are willing to reconcile with her, but not if she ...
A. 13 May 2014: If you want to keep your daughter in your life then you will need to accept her choice of partner. It's her life and her choice, and you shouldn't be putting her in the situation where she has to choose between you both. As a grown woman she ... (read in full...)
He acts like a child when he wants to go see his family and when he's with them! I feel like I want to start afresh!
Q. I have been with my partner for 4 years. when we first met he moved over to the area i was from after meeting on a works holiday. he was happy and seemed to want to spend all time together and put his past behind him (for the first 2 years). Now he ...
A. 8 May 2014: Honestly, I think you are the one who is being childish and unfair. It's a big deal got someone to move away from their family, and he is obviously feeling that strain now. It's your job as the partner who got to remain in her home town to try to ... (read in full...)
I am fed up of arguing about her wanting breast enlargement surgery!
Q. Hi everyone, I need some advice on a frustrating situation that I am in. About 7 months ago I had a breast enlargement. At 22 I was fed up of feeling self conscious, unhappy and miserable about my body. I never ever developed more than buddin...
A. 8 May 2014: It sounds to me like you always felt inferior to her due to your breast size, and now you feel your operation has 'evened the score', you are annoyed because you feel she is trying to shift it back to her side again. I have to say that it doesn't ... (read in full...)
How do I explain to my family how I met my girlfriend?
Q. Ok. So long story short.... Me and my gf of 3 years, are planning to get married. However since we haven't told any of our patents yet, we need to Annouce and tell them how we met. I am Indian, so culture reasons don't make it easy for us to mix ...
A. 5 May 2014: How about saying you have a mutual friend on Facebook and you both wrote the same/similar comment under one if their status updates which led to you chatting to each other...... (read in full...)
I went out with this guy I have a crush on but I couldn't eat anything because I was so nervous!
Q. Ok, so I feel like a total idiot after this, but I met this really nice guy a while ago, and seemed to sort of hit it off, I can actually say that I have small feelings for him. We decided to meet up. We were going to hang out earlier in the day, ...
A. 5 May 2014: Did you discuss the fact you were going to go for something to eat beforehand? If so then I can maybe see why he was confused that you decided not to eat when you got there, but for him to be 'upset' about it is a bit strong. If you're not hungry ... (read in full...)
My girlfriend is a selfish bitch but I love her.
Q. my gf is a selfish bitch but I still really love her. Ive argued with her a few times over whatwe have said to each other and lately she saidsomething to me and I always have to put up with it but as soon as I say the same thing backshe hates me...
A. 21 April 2014: End the relationship. And realise that calling her a 'bitch' (online or otherwise) shows you don't exactly treat her very well either.... (read in full...)
Confused by this lady
Q. Hi all, I have met this woman she's 39 and I'm 38, things had been going really well over the last month or so but then she told me she has fallen in love with me and would love to spend her future with me, I'm not scared off or anything but she ...
A. 13 April 2014: If you are not happy with how things are going, either speak to her and try to work it out or end the relationship completely. Do not ask her to be friends instead. All that will do is confuse her about your intentions.
This woman has been ver... (read in full...)
Should I date a guy who does drugs?
Q. Would this put you off someone ?. I met a guy recently. He seems really nice,and it seems like we have things in common, but something happened today which made me feel uncomfortable. I was in a pub with him. Another woman who was in the pub...
A. 12 April 2014: I don't think you are being uptight at all. I do believe that some people can handle doing drugs 'responsibly' but at the same time many others can't. So if you knowingly get involved with someone who does drugs (even pot) then you are taking the ... (read in full...)
We've been together for three years but he blocked me on Facebook?
Q. This is going to sound as pathetic as it is but it's irritating me. I've been with my partner for 3 years and we have never been friends on facebook. I don't use it much but about 2 months ago I sent him a friend request. Not only did he decline ...
A. 10 April 2014: I'm not really massively bothered about Facebook and I've probably only been on my boyfriends page 3 or 4 times in the 4.5 years we've been together, but alarm bells would certainly ring if he actively went to such lengths to keep me off his page. ... (read in full...)
Never thought it would go on so long or get so serious, and now I can't live with the lies
Q. You guys have probably never gotten a problem like this before...what I'm about to say is completely disgusting but please bare with me. I randomly met a guy online about 1 year ago. It was all just fun and games at first and a few days into ta...
A. 30 March 2014: I agree you should watch Catfish which shows this type of thing happening time and time again. I have seen a few episodes where the people have been able to overcome the lies, but often that's when both parties have been lying about themselves. ... (read in full...)
I don't like the engagement ring he gave me
Q. I'm disappointed with my engagement ring. I feel like a horrible person. I love my fiance to death, but he picked out a gorgeous ring, with a sapphire as the centerpiece stone. It really is a beautiful ring-but I am very traditionally mi...
A. 25 March 2014: I think people are being incredibly harsh to you. I know you told him you'd love anything he got you if it was from the heart, but you also said you didn't think a sapphire was engagement ring material. If he was using his brain at all he would... (read in full...)
Natural birth questions
Q. These questions are for mothers who chose to have a natural birth with no pain medications. I am expecting my first baby this summer and i want to do it with out pain medications but my mother thinks i'm not strong enough to and iv hear some bad ...
A. 1 March 2014: I just asked my Mum about this because she has had 3 natural births and she said she is so glad she did it that way.
She said it is definitely painful at the time, but afterwards the women who had epidurals all had a lot more tearing and stitches... (read in full...)
I'm a 27 year old virgin, should I go hire an escort to experience sex?
Q. I’m 27 years old and will be 28 years old this summer and not being able to me intimate with anyone in my life is just making me feel frustrated. I have tired date few Chinese women but all they do is want to be friends or we never talk again. ...
A. 28 February 2014: When I was single I was actively waiting for guys to approach me. It's old fashioned yes, but most women are the same. They expect the man to do the chasing because often men don't want the women who pursue them as they label them 'easy'. And even ... (read in full...)
I'm a 27 year old virgin, should I go hire an escort to experience sex?
Q. I’m 27 years old and will be 28 years old this summer and not being able to me intimate with anyone in my life is just making me feel frustrated. I have tired date few Chinese women but all they do is want to be friends or we never talk again. ...
A. 20 February 2014: "These are things I just cannot grab overnight like I can do with a escort. Escort I just make in-call go see her (at her place) for the hour and then leave." And there it is - the simple fact is you are unwilling to make the effort. Your big... (read in full...)
I cheated - is there any way to fix this?
Q. So I've been dating my boyfriend that's about 8 years older than me for over two years now. For the last six months or so, I feel like our relationship has been quite stale and stagnate. I have learned to accept this because he is in his 30s and I'm ...
A. 19 February 2014: You can't fix it, you can either own up and see if your boyfriend forgives you or you can end it yourself. And personally I think you should go with the latter. If you read your post back, you are basically saying that you think your boyfriend i... (read in full...)
After a year of dating he is pressuring me to tell him where I live.
Q. Hi, I have been seeing this guy for almost an year, I know where he lives but he doesn't know where I live because he hadn't been interested but now he won't see me again untill I take him to my place. Why the sudden inerest? Problem is that he is ...
A. 16 February 2014: I have to say I don't blame him for being annoyed about that. If I had been seeing a guy for a year and he still refused to tell me or show me where he lived, I would consider that a huge red flag. It sounds like you are hiding something. Why, after ... (read in full...)
I'm a 27 year old virgin, should I go hire an escort to experience sex?
Q. I’m 27 years old and will be 28 years old this summer and not being able to me intimate with anyone in my life is just making me feel frustrated. I have tired date few Chinese women but all they do is want to be friends or we never talk again. ...
A. 15 February 2014: Ok well that is definitely something you need to work on then. I suffer with social anxiety so I know how scary it can be to approach people, and I definitely understand the feeling that you are bothering people by speaking to them. But think about ... (read in full...)
I'm a 27 year old virgin, should I go hire an escort to experience sex?
Q. I’m 27 years old and will be 28 years old this summer and not being able to me intimate with anyone in my life is just making me feel frustrated. I have tired date few Chinese women but all they do is want to be friends or we never talk again. ...
A. 15 February 2014: OP what have you tried? Befriending a girl or waiting for someone to talk to YOU on an online dating account doesn't count. Most women expect the man to do the chasing, yet you seem to be sitting waiting for women to make the move or tell you you're ... (read in full...)
Why is it okay to criticize big boobs?
Q. Every time there is a question about small breasts, I've noticed a lot of people take it upon themselves to criticise big breasts and call them 'ugly' and 'saggy' it's really insensitive, and quite offensive. The latest question I'm referring to is ...
A. 13 February 2014: 'I think if you tell someone enough times their attributes aren't attractive, it'd take someone with very thick skin not to start to believe it' I think the biggest thing you are missing here OP is that most (not all but a large portion) of the ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend has disappeared and I am very worried.
Q. Hello, I am having a difficult time and I need some advice. First, I have been in a relationship with someone and it hasn't been long, only two months. We got along great and talked all the time for hours. We have always been able to work out any ...
A. 10 February 2014: OP you really need to stop focusing on what he SAID and think about what he DID instead. People can say absolutely anything without meaning it, otherwise there would be no lies. And unfortunately it is especially easy when you can't see the other ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend keeps promising me big gifts but gets me nothing
Q. My boyfriend told me throughout our entire first year that he had a huge birthday surprise for me... along comes my birthday Jan 29 and he just called me in the morning and then never came over (even though he promised). His reasoning was that he ...
A. 6 February 2014: I wouldn't dump him for the lack of flowers on Valentines day, I'd dump him because he's a cheap, spineless liar. You can do way better.... (read in full...)
Can't get a job without experience, no experience without a job.
Q. Not particularly a relationship question but its really dragging me down. I graduated from university in 2012 and haven't been able to find a job. I did a business management degree and I don;t expect to walk into a higher end job or management ...
A. 5 February 2014: Everyone else has made good suggestions about broadening your search and looking for apprenticeships, but have you also considered asking in your current place of work if you can help them with some of their admin? You could offer to do the rota and ... (read in full...)
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