A
female
age
,
anonymous
writes:Should I tell my husband all the details of my relationship with an old friend ?My husband has always had a high sex drive and never had a problem with performance. But since he found out about us sharing some very explicit texts, he has had difficulty in maintaining an erection.The background on this is that we were experiencing a rough patch in our marriage and out of the blue Ron contacted me on FB. I had a relationship with him when we were in school and I had first started to date my husband. It got very complicated and he wanted me to leave my husband (then BF), but wanted me to wait for marriage until he finished college. I ended up marrying my husband but never told him all of the story. Shortly after I friended him on FB we started messaging each other every day and caught up on our lives, share our problems and advise each other. We also reminisced about our youth and before I knew it we were sexting every day. I honestly entertained thoughts of leaving my husband for him.Well my husband found some of explicit messages (thank god not any of our reminiscing) and confronted me. Well I found out that Ron didn't want me as bad as I had wanted him and I stayed with hubby.He has his suspicions and has asked me but I have fended off his questions. I didn't think he could have handled the truth when it happened and don't know if I came clean now that it would help even though he says he can handle it
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male
reader, Garbo +, writes (20 March 2016):
 Since he knows the gist of the story, I'm sure your husband has particular questions that he wants answered, and you should provide those answers. The trust in this this relationship has been badly shaken and the issue of your loyalty to the marriage and his function in it has been damaged so you should provide some help to him in rebuilding it.
The fact that you thought possible to drop your husband for Ron, who suddenly shows up, struck me as little disturbing in terms of how easily you were willing to dispose of your husband. I think that any discussion you have with your husband will uncover this wobbly situation between you two so depending on what you both aim in this discussion this wobbly thing can be seen two ways: either as something so damaging that it isn't worth going forward or something that both of you need to fix once and for all.
A
female
reader, Ivyblue  +, writes (20 March 2016):
 If he has asked, then he is ready. It is not fair for you to be deciding what he is or isn't able to handle. Are you ready to be transparent and accountable?, because if not wanting to have him repeatedly drag this up in search of answers week or months later, now is the time to get it all out which makes getting through things or even ending things a whole lot painless.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (20 March 2016): You express no regret or remorse in your message. I hope you realize how wrong what you did was. You dishonored your marriage vows and violated your husband's trust. You kept secrets from your husband, and that's never allowed in a marriage.
Though your new found relationship with Ron was online, you cheated and betrayed your husband. That you were having a rough patch in your marriage is no excuse. You should have worked on your marriage instead of having a cyber affair.
Of course your husband is upset, much more so than he's revealing to you, and will only be more upset if you tell him all of the sordid details now. In fact, doing so might be the end of your marriage.
I can already tell you that this revelation is affecting him very badly. His lack of erections reveals that you've hurt him on a very deep level. He feels that he isn't satisfying you sexually. He feels that he's no longer enough for you. He's also questioning your love and commitment to him.
The rug has been pulled out from beneath his feet.
I hope you have removed Ron from your friend list and no longer communicate with him. If not, you must do so ASAP. What you really need to do now is focus on your marriage. Apologize profusely and treat your husband like a king. You will need to work very hard to regain your husband's trust, and it will take a long time for him to get past the pain. What's more, he will never forget what you did.
You two might need some professional counseling in order to save your marriage.
Good luck. I hope things work out for you two.
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A
female
reader, Honeypie + ♥, writes (19 March 2016):
 I think you should be honest with your husband, after all he could have kicked you to the curb and he didn't.
Talk to him and find how you can REGAIN your husband's trust.
Personally, though, I would NOT go into deep details. Because while he says he can handle it all, in reality he might not like to hear it.
I hope you have blocked and unfriended Ron.
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