| Latest articles: Reflections on my breakup
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30 May 2011: I just broke up with my boyfriend of six yrs, my only serious relationship at this point. The most startling feeling I have is after weeks of build up of anger, bitterness, and hurt towards my partner, the ambivalence and second-guessing I'm now ...
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My boyfriend has gone away for a few weeks and I'm worried I'm going to stop loving him!
Q. Hey My boyfreind went away a few days ago and hes coming back in 2 weeks i was missing him the 1st few days, i was thinking about him everyday and i was dreaming about him every night... but theres something about me if the person i love goes awa...
A. 24 September 2010: Girl, I been there. My bf was overseas for 7-9 months TWICE. It is very tough when you're not seeing your person day to day. I understand your concern about feeling like your love is fading, but honestly, I do not think there is anything wrong with ... (read in full...)
My usually unemotional partner just blew up at me and broke up!
Q. Hi all. My partner is so laid back i want to wind him up sometimes like a clock. lol. He does not gripe about anything or get annoyed only about the payments to his ex wife now and then. Will not discuss any problems or issues, just carries on doing ...
A. 22 September 2010: he already said it was over, so I think his not expressing that he was going to be hurt by you leaving early until after the fact is just icing on the break up cake (as in, he's just using that as another excuse to say why it's not going to work ... (read in full...)
Husband texted over 1000 messages over the last month to another man!
Q. My husband of 26 years texted over 1000 messages in on month to another man. I saw it on the phone bill.I never saw any of the messages...What do you think? Says was discussing wives, children and problems.........
A. 22 September 2010: Well, that SOUNDS like a lot, but that's only 30 a day, or 15 each way per day, which does sound like a lot but I wouldn't jump to conclusions necessarily. it's really easy to rack up texts, esp if you have just one sentence reponses. it would ... (read in full...)
Relationship is becoming more abusive, police no help!
Q. We have been together about 6 years. We have had good and bad times,,, We had a really rough patch where he was physically abusing me,,I never told anyone or called the police,because I love him and I didnt want him in trouble,among other reasons. ...
A. 20 September 2010: 1) can you leave? do you any friends/ family in the area you could stay with? If that's not an option, go to sheltersforwomen.org, and maybe they can find a women's shelter near you. Even consider going to a church, they may have some services you ... (read in full...)
My girlfriend and alcohol is a bad combination!
Q. Hello everyone, I got a little problem over here... I'm since 1 month together with my girlfriend now. Everything is just fine with her; she is the best thing that happened in my life (you know what I mean right? :) ). But as soon alcohol comes in...
A. 20 September 2010: I think you're being too hard on yourself. Why don't you ask her if she is satisfied with your sex life? Maybe she IS getting bored from it and you two can come up with a way to keep it interesting, or maybe she's going through a stressful or rough ... (read in full...)
My girlfriend and alcohol is a bad combination!
Q. Hello everyone, I got a little problem over here... I'm since 1 month together with my girlfriend now. Everything is just fine with her; she is the best thing that happened in my life (you know what I mean right? :) ). But as soon alcohol comes in...
A. 19 September 2010: Was she hitting on any of the friends you went out with, or did she only have the hots for you? You could try to say that you're worried she might get interested in other guys when drunk, but be careful to tread lightly, because this is something ... (read in full...)
I haven't had my period for almost a year
Q. hey i'm a 14 year old virgin and it has been 2 years since i had my first period. The last time i remember having it was in october or november or 2009. i don't have any money or health insurance to go see a gyneacologist but i wonder if my symptons ...
A. 11 September 2010: sometimes it takes a little bit of time in the beginning before your hormones work themselves out. there are such things as free clinics and planned parenthood that'll really reduce your costs-my state has a planned parenthood program where every ... (read in full...)
Is she over eating? What is the problem here?
Q. Hey aunts, ok, so this isn't really a love, sex or relationship question, but it's still important to me . So my 13 year old sister lives in my apartment with me, she goes to school when I do ( I am 18 and go to college ) and my boyfriend frequently ...
A. 5 September 2010: she's a growing girl, and she sounds healthier than me, getting in all her daily servings of fruits and veggies- go her!... (read in full...)
Younger sister is disrespectful
Q. Ok,so I am 20 and I have a younger sister who is 18. When we were kids,we used to get along really well,until I fell in love with someone I met online when I was like 15.Since then,I felt she started losing respect for me.When I was 17 I left the...
A. 23 August 2010: Ehhh I think that's just par for the course. She's young and trying to look cool and 'cool' ends up being making other people feel like crap. my sister did the same thing to me. I don't think there's much wrong with her being independent ie. taking ... (read in full...)
I want out but can't seem to be able to do it!
Q. I have always been a sheltered girl. My parents made sure i was highly protected, and would never let me do certain things when i was growing up. Because of this, i started to become anxious whenver going out or doing new things. My brothers also ...
A. 21 August 2010: That sounds horrible. I really don't see how waiting til february is going to change anything. I would consider trying to convince the family to go to counseling with you, although i know that's a 'change' and an admission that something is ... (read in full...)
I got into a big argument with my boss at work .. how do I act around him now???
Q. I had a huge argument with my boss at work today and now i dont know how to behave around him tommorrow. We work in an office and we work on the same desk. He has been my boss for a few months and we had become good friends. Always laughing,...
A. 20 August 2010: it is difficult when you come to understand your boss as easy going or 'your friend' and he 'turns' on you because you took advantage of the casual relationship, but take his criticism of you into account. he COULD have had an off day, OR he's been ... (read in full...)
Do I just come straight out and say "it" or do I wait for HIM to say "it?"
Q. Hello :) my boyfriend and I have been together for almost 6 months and I know that I am in love with him, I can't stop thinking it and how badly I want to tell him. A couple of weeks ago he came over to my house after going out one night and he w...
A. 17 August 2010: I don't necessarily agree with the previous poster who seems to be speaking her own burns in the past. It is acceptable to say it first and he may like it that you've broken the ice with it ... (read in full...)
I don't want to play with fire...
Q. It all started when my collegue asked me to join him to play billiards.He taught me how to play.After that incidence,I would always caught him staring at me,and to my surprise,I found myself acting nervous/excited when he's around. Then, he started ...
A. 16 August 2010: Okay, if you're going to back off being friends with him, it might be courteous to communicate this. Tell him you've thought about it and decided you feel uncomfortable having male friends as you are married. don't just leave him hanging and mad, ... (read in full...)
I don't want to play with fire...
Q. It all started when my collegue asked me to join him to play billiards.He taught me how to play.After that incidence,I would always caught him staring at me,and to my surprise,I found myself acting nervous/excited when he's around. Then, he started ...
A. 14 August 2010: If you love and respect your husband, then I would cut contact with this man you're starting to develop feelings for. if anything, this is an emotional affair.... (read in full...)
Had a bad experience with oral and now am nervous about trying again
Q. My boyfriend has been on vacation for the past week and is getting back tomorrow night. For the past few days, we've been talking about sex and how we can't wait until he gets back, etc. First off, I am all about trying new things. He's rec...
A. 14 August 2010: If you want to go through with it, tell him to start slow. Maybe have him finger you a little first, maybe kissing your belly or insides of your thighs, something that's not direct contact but something that's going to make you feel eased into the ... (read in full...)
Emergency contraception!
Q. The other day whilst having sex with my boyfriend, the condom must have slipped off and when he came it went inside me. I took emergency contraception literally about half an hour, 45 minutes later. My question, is emergency contraception ef...
A. 12 August 2010: I was under the impression that the sooner you take plan B the more effective it is in preventing pregnancy, but read the directions to make sure... (read in full...)
I didn't text her back for 6-7 hours and suddenly I feel like I crossed some kind of line by her reaction
Q. Dear Aunts/Uncles, Heres the situation. I usually text my girl every other day. We swap text message back and forth. We dont see each other much but when we do get together its on the weekends 1-2 a month. Just depends on the month and each o...
A. 12 August 2010: sometimes what happens in relationships is you have a disagreement, one person takes one side, the other on another side, but over time you two think about it and become more moderate/ more on the other person's side than you were to begin with. so, ... (read in full...)
3 out of 4 weeks every month I'm a pain in the ass!
Q. Thanks in advance. I really hope to get a response to this because I'm totally lost with whats going on here. Well, I'm completely screwing up my relationship because of my extremely unstable, uncontrollable emotions. I started to notice a pattern ...
A. 12 August 2010: we're here to care! I've been to 'crazyland' so I empathized with your plight. Keep us posted, and take care. ... (read in full...)
3 out of 4 weeks every month I'm a pain in the ass!
Q. Thanks in advance. I really hope to get a response to this because I'm totally lost with whats going on here. Well, I'm completely screwing up my relationship because of my extremely unstable, uncontrollable emotions. I started to notice a pattern ...
A. 12 August 2010: I have a couple of ideas on what might be going on.
1) are you on birth control? I was on the ring, which is similar hormonal treatment, and my emotions were OFF THE WALL. i was angry, i was bursting into tears couldn't stop crying, i was slee... (read in full...)
Girls... how do you know when you've cum???
Q. hello, i am 15 and im in a relationship with an amazing guy, we have been together 3 months today! we have preformed sexual acts on each other but every time we do his aim is to make me cum but to be honest im a really dumb girl, don't know much ...
A. 11 August 2010: it should feel like you've released urine that you've been holding all day. your vagina will pulsate/contract several times depending on how long the orgasm goes for. i suggest masturbating maybe you'll figure it out then. might also help give your ... (read in full...)
I can't remember my childhood!
Q. Don't know where to start but ill start with I don't remember anything about my childhood.. and when I try to remember I get this bad feeling type of deal.. I know I had my far share of bad things my best friend got tooken away and my great grandma ...
A. 11 August 2010: or a school psychologist if you have one... (read in full...)
I can't remember my childhood!
Q. Don't know where to start but ill start with I don't remember anything about my childhood.. and when I try to remember I get this bad feeling type of deal.. I know I had my far share of bad things my best friend got tooken away and my great grandma ...
A. 11 August 2010: I agree with YouWish, esp. because you are still so young, it wasn't that long ago that you had a childhood! how far back can you remember? can you remember 4th grade, for example? I would go to a counselor at your school for help on this one.... (read in full...)
Girlfriend is mad at me for not reacting stronger to this guy.
Q. Hello dear cupiders. I have been in a relationsh ip with my girlfriend for four years on and off, and through a lot of cheating, lies and now a pregnancy we have managed to work everything out. But lately I feel like Im doing everything wrong...
A. 6 August 2010: she wants you to be jealous of her threats of being unfaithful? she sounds like a winner. let her figure out this baby stuff on her own you sound like too good of a person to get sucked down by this person who is tempting you out of peace bond and ... (read in full...)
Is my coming out so traumatic to my parents that they block it out?
Q. well, a few months ago i came out to my parents. they gave me the works. crying, arguing, anger, bullshit. basically my parents weren't, and still aren't okay with my sexuality, my sisters on the other hand, they're fine, they don't care. well, i've ...
A. 4 August 2010: Your mom is in denial, and that's her problem to handle. I don't think you need to have The Talk with them again, they heard you, but may not have WANTED to hear you, and if the 'signs' are not in their faces, then they can pretend it didn't happen. ... (read in full...)
Boyfriend is HIV positive and we want children, so which man do I choose to be the father of my child?
Q. My boyfriend is HIV positive and we both want children...but i dont want to do it medically so i have to decide whether i want my ex or his friend who is married to get me pregnant. i weighed the options but i'm still confused...who do i choose? my ...
A. 4 August 2010: is it easier for your fiance to stand by and wait while you f*** another man? very confused by the logic. what is the reason that you're not interested in a sperm donor, is it money? ... (read in full...)
Boyfriend is HIV positive and we want children, so which man do I choose to be the father of my child?
Q. My boyfriend is HIV positive and we both want children...but i dont want to do it medically so i have to decide whether i want my ex or his friend who is married to get me pregnant. i weighed the options but i'm still confused...who do i choose? my ...
A. 3 August 2010: Why don't you just get a sperm donor to donate the sperm, because (if I understand right) wouldn't that be very very hurtful to your bf/ relationship to make love to someoe you know in the hopes it gets you pregnant? what if it doesn't 'take' the ... (read in full...)
I'm worried that we are going to a place I don't want to go!
Q. I love my boyfriend so much. I feel like we are falling apart. We have been together for a little over a year. We broke up awhile ago for about 5 or 6 months but we were still seeing each other. He used to be so crazy about me, except now since ...
A. 3 August 2010: I think if you've only been at it for about a year and there are already significant breaks in the relationships and indifference on one person's end it's not really worth salvaging because there probably isn't that much invested. find someone else ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend is uncomfortable with me modelling clothes for my ebay shop, now I am confused what to do.....
Q. Hello, I found this site and thought it might be a good place to ask for advice. I had an issue come up recently with my boyfriend of 5 years. We are very close and respectful of each other and try our best to communicate and sort out issues....
A. 2 August 2010: Do you think you both might be able to compromise by taking pictures of just your body, you know, with your head cut out of the frame? I don't know if it would make him feel better if it were more anonymous instead of you walking down the street and ... (read in full...)
The girl next door...?
Q. So, I’ve been crushing on the guy down the hall at work for a couple of weeks now. We’ve never spoken, just bumped into each other now and again - never speaking nor smiling. Recently I met a lady from his office and asked who he was. She was lo...
A. 1 August 2010: hey I don't really see what the other poster's seeing, I think it's innocent enough at this point! maybe you should make sure with him instead of through this other lady who could have her eyes on him also, that he is indeed attached. try not to r... (read in full...)
He needs time... all the while I am unravelling.
Q. Hello friends, I need some advice. My bf and I had a big blowout a few weeks ago, it was my fault, I lied to him about a few things and he found out. The lies were white and small and didn't hurt anyone but still, I lied. After trying to reconcile ...
A. 31 July 2010: I think you need to gently say to him that if he wants time he has to actually take time off from you two, because the limbo thing is painful. if he can't handle NOT talking to you, then maybe he realizes a separation is not what he wants, but you ... (read in full...)
Sex should feel good at some point right...?
Q. Here is my story... Well, I lost my virginity fairly late compared to others that I know. I was 20. Before that, I never was so into the idea of sex or felt that I needed it. I know this may be a taboo topic but if I wanted to pleasure myself,...
A. 31 July 2010: OK first of all- regarding UTIs, I HATE EM. if you want to be sure you don't get them, make your guy and you take a shower beforehand but most important (usually I JUST do this step) : pee after sex. but actually, they probably tell you that stuff ... (read in full...)
SICK of oral...
Q. I really enjoy oral sex, both giving and receiving it. The only person I've ever done this with is my current boyfriend. Not too long ago, we were joking around about oral sex (I'm not going to go into needless details) but I joked that I would come ...
A. 31 July 2010: oh gosh.sounds like a horribly insensitive joke gone bad. i do think you should bring it up, just be like were you serious that i made you sick? and if he says haha no or some horribleness, chew him out a little for that because, i read this ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend needs to hide from me because I'm always jumping on him
Q. My boyfriend needs to hide from me- I'm always at him! lol He obliges me when I do want to um...toss the sheets or whatever :p but then, right after, I feel like jumping him again and have to hold myself back. In the car, I'm always kissing his neck ...
A. 31 July 2010: I mean, you could always ask him if he'd rather you be less intense because you don't want to lose him over your constant showing him how head over heels you are. try to restrain yourself and not be too smothering/overbearing, but you might find ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend hits me I need help and advice please!!
Q. I'm 20 years old, Basically i have been with my bf for a year and 4 months into the relationship he started getting violent. it began by him punching things around his like a wall or the car dashboard, then when he got more angry he started to ...
A. 31 July 2010: you're doing the right thing. cut complete contact with him and if he comes around threaten to call the police (unless you think that would provoke him). use this horrible relationship in your life to remember that you deserve so much better, and ... (read in full...)
Need Help With Possible Anorexia...
Q. Hey everyone, how are you? I'd like to thank you all on your help on everything else. They've all been very encouraging, rational answers that have either made me feel better or have helped. So, again: my sincerest gratitude to all of you. Thank ...
A. 31 July 2010: I haven't read your past posts, but it doesn't sound like you're not eating with the intent to be smaller or have control over your life you're just not eating much cause you're not feeling the options. also your frame and age fit the weight you're ... (read in full...)
People phobia...
Q. So im 18 and im getting ready to start college i just have a few last minute things to work out. Here's the problem, i get nervous and shy around new people and when i go to college that's all that's going to be around is new people im scared ...
A. 31 July 2010: Starting college can be a scary thing but the good thing about it is there are a lot of different ways to get involved with your school in the first days, during Orientation the school slowly integrates you into college and your campus culture. the ... (read in full...)
I am sooooo trying to give her her space but I'm also a bit confused here...
Q. Hi Firstly I would like to apologise for the length of my post, I wanted to give you as much information as possible so you could make an informed decision I was dating someone for 4 months and it was going along very well without any hiccups...
A. 30 July 2010: my gut feeling is that you should probably consider it done:
1) she put up a barrier that is nearly insurmountable, according to her.
2)even if she is working on it, the fact that she's working on it solo, I feel, like, how are you going to 'star... (read in full...)
Everyone is rude to me!
Q. I live in the Greensboro/High Point area of North Carolina, and I've gotten to the point where I can't stand it. People here are obscenely rude to me on a regular basis, and I don't tolerate it. It happens to me several times a day! For exampl...
A. 25 July 2010: First, I have lived in North Carolina, although more West than you (near charlotte, visited asheville) and found people on the whole exceptionally polite, but i'm from new york and i was more aware of southern charm-or maybe I just saw what I ... (read in full...)
Please pray God gives me strenght to leave him.
Q. I will be 40 in 3 weeks. I dont have kids, This is my firs marriage x 3 yrs (this year ). I used to want to make it work. I used to beg God,....To let my marriage work. I stayed, hes mentaly abusive. I am told Im in a good position, I have a ...
A. 22 July 2010: Maybe you should start reconnecting with your old friends/family, if they're loyal they'll want to see you through this difficult time despite their original warnings. if they choose not to support you, I would start going to a support group for ... (read in full...)
Why is she so unsure about us now?
Q. Hi, I've been with my girlfriend now for almost a year and a half. She means the world to me, and she's my first real girlfriend. Things have always been good until lately. She always tells me that she loves me, and she used to be quite ...
A. 17 July 2010: For whatever reason, it's not working for her, and everytime she takes back her rejection of you, she is losing her balls to go through with breaking up. you're not right for her, but she also is dependent on you just because you've been a big part ... (read in full...)
Do my scars discomfort her?
Q. Hello people, I have a problem here, or maybe I'm paranoid. Either way, I know this gal, She's 21, and I'm 27. Oh and I should make it clear that I have a number of scars on my body and 2 on my face because when I was in Afghanistan in duty an ...
A. 14 July 2010: I wouldn't yet jump to the conclusion that she is feeling disgust towards you and your body-she may feel disgust towards the people that abused it, and it is jarring to people who are accustomed to a certain body type to be exposed to a 'different' ... (read in full...)
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