A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I had a huge argument with my boss at work today and now i dont know how to behave around him tommorrow. We work in an office and we work on the same desk. He has been my boss for a few months and we had become good friends. Always laughing, playing practical jokes on each other, and I used to help organise his paperwork when he had a lot of work. On Monday of this week my nan died, and although we werent that close, it still upset me when it happened. My boss knows about this as I took the day off work. The next day I was pretty quiet at work and probably misreable around everyone. It also happened to be the same day a new process was introduced at work. About 2 hours into my shift my manager took me aside saying he was getting annoyed that I kept forgetting the new process and I was unhappy and misreable at work which was making him annoyed and unhappy. I apologised and he asked me to make sure I do my work properly but also asked what he could do to make me happy.Today a collegue approached my boss at his desk saying he wasnt "buying into" the new process as he didnt understand it and it wasnt helping. My boss said to the collegue that everyone else does so he should to. I then said that i was having trouble buying into it as well as I didnt find it had any help/change with my work. My boss that lost it and started having a go at me in front of everyone calling me negative and calling the process rubbish etc. I tried to explain that i wasnt being negative about the process itself, i just needed more coaching on it as it wasnt working for me so obviously i was doing it wrong. but he literally would not let me talk, he kept interupting me and spoke to me like trash. When my collegue attempted to say something my boss made us go onto a fire escape to "talk". He then proceeded to have a go at us for 40 minutes saying how negative we were, how we were effecting the rest of the team with our negativity etc etc. I tried to tell him that I just need more help with it and that ive been trying it all day but found it no help but he wouldnt listen. He kept interrupting me and saying that its because i dont want to do the process. At one point him and the other collegue were almost shouting at each other. It ended with my boss basically calling my other collegue stupid for not understanding the process, and telling me that i need to stop criticisng the process and actually do my job properly. He then told us to leave and go home as we were meant to have finished out shift half an hour earlier.I packed up my things and left without saying goodbye.Now i know i should have taken my boss aside and spoke privately about needing help on the process but im very close with the collegue who he was speaking too (we're all good friends) about it so i deciding to say it. However, i dont know what to do tomoro. Do i act normal like nothings happened or should i steer clear of him and just do my work?? I can move desks as the one next to me is free so i dont know whether to sit there and just say i want to get on with my work. But then isnt that going to make me appear negative about what happened??
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (20 August 2010): You were both clearly unprofessional in how you acted. First of all you don't criticise a system or new process UNTIL you understand it. Second of all, if you two were the only ones that were having problems then the problem is most likely not in the new process but rather that you haven't figured out how to use it - if you were my employee I'd expect you to pick up the slack without bothering me with tales of your incompetence.
I know it sounds harsh but welcome to the real workforce. The boss is right in telling you both off... you should never voice criticism like this unless you are in private! Its one thing if your team had a scheduled feedback session to discuss how the process was working, then you'd be expected to share your opinion but not chime in with someone else out of the blue.
I'm sorry but you're in the wrong here. Tomorrow you should apologise to your boss and let him know you will work extra hard on understanding the new process.
Next time, if you don't understand a new system or process you should ask one of your colleagues first. Going directly to your boss when there are more junior people to explain it to you is just wasting his time.
A
female
reader, fishdish  +, writes (20 August 2010):
 it is difficult when you come to understand your boss as easy going or 'your friend' and he 'turns' on you because you took advantage of the casual relationship, but take his criticism of you into account. he COULD have had an off day, OR he's been holding a lot more against you than you think. It sounds like he's letting off his frustrations of a pattern he recognizes in you as really detrimental to group cohesion and morale. Take a step back and think about what you vibes or comments you're saying that might be undermining what he (and you as a collective) is trying to accomplish.
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A
male
reader, Danielepew  +, writes (20 August 2010):
 Beyond what others have said, I want to offer some, er, insight I gained the hard way: "The boss is always right". Of course often s/he is not, but I'm sure you get my point.
And, then, I recommend that you buy, borrow, or otherwise lay your hands on two books: "The Peter Principle" and "The Parkinson Law". Those two books will help you a lot in the workplace.
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A
male
reader, Kenj +, writes (20 August 2010):
 At the end of the day your boss is right because the new process was not given a chance. Hes probably been pressured and stressed but should have handled it different.
Just turn up for work, make sure your early!
Do your job as normal and dont mention anything about it.
Use your spare time to look for another job if your not happy in your current job anymore.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (19 August 2010): In regards to how you should behave after the arguement, I would suggest you act as normal as possible. If he's a somewhat decent guy he may reflect on what happened and realise he's wrong. You'll have to wait until you see him, you'll most likely be able to make a judgement call based on his body language alone. The best thing to do in my experience is try not to act too bothered by what happened.
I've worked with a union in the construction industry for years and had to deal with a lot of people. Some are good guys, some are assholes. Sadly, there's not much you can do about the assholes.
Good luck!
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