A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Hello :)my boyfriend and I have been together for almost 6 months and I know that I am in love with him, I can't stop thinking it and how badly I want to tell him. A couple of weeks ago he came over to my house after going out one night and he was kinda buzzed, and he was about to say it to me.. he kept saying "you have no idea how much I care about you and how much you mean to me" and "I have something that I really want to tell you, but I want it to be somewhere more romantic when I tell you" he seemed really nervous and never ended up saying it. I want to tell him but I am really nervous too. I said it to my ex in the past but I wasnt even this nervous and unsure how to say it, and I have also had lots of guys say it to me when I didnt feel the same way and I dont want to put him in the position that I was in not wanting to say something back that he doesnt mean..should I make a really romantic setting and say it? should I wait for him to say it? or should I just straight out say it? any advise would be amazing..Thank you!
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reader, anonymous, writes (18 August 2010): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThank you everyone I think I'm just gonna wait it out until he says it :)
A
male
reader, Odds +, writes (17 August 2010):
 It's better to let him say it first, *especially* if he's a nice guy who actually cares about you. Guys like that will only say it if they really mean it and are ready to really commit to you. If you say it first, and he is not absolutely certain he feels that way about you, he will not say it in return. Obviously, that would hurt both of you.
Now, if he's ready to proclaim his love, it's safe for you to say it first. So, if you just can't hold it in, just be prepared for him not to say it back. If he doesn't say it, that doesn't mean he never will love you, it just means he doesn't want to hurt you.
Just be patient.
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A
female
reader, YouWish +, writes (17 August 2010):
 To clarify, I was never burned in the past by anyone with love issues. I'm not speaking from any sense of hurt or offense whatsoever. However, I have known more than a few guy friends who have had reservations about saying "the words", and the approach I suggested to the OP was the most successful in their cases by a mile.
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A
female
reader, fishdish +, writes (17 August 2010):
 I don't necessarily agree with the previous poster who seems to be speaking her own burns in the past. It is acceptable to say it first and he may like it that you've broken the ice with it
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A
female
reader, YouWish +, writes (17 August 2010):
Whatever you do, do NOT say it first. Absolutely do NOT say it first. For you, love is an expression of emotion. For him, it's a declaration of commitment and a statement of a future with you. For him, it's a "next step", and if you say it first before he's ready to, it could backfire, even if you don't put the same significance on the words than he does.
Be PATIENT. He *has* to say it first. It will mean much more if he does. Whatever he says, match him. If he says "I care about you", say only that. If he says "You mean the world to me", say that too. This will accomplish two things - one, it doesn't put the pressure on him to feel as though he "has" to say it, which I'm sure you can relate to when the guys said it to you when you didn't feel the same way, and two, and most importantly, it disarms his fear of commitment and gives him incentive to say it to you with no pressure.
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