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He needs time... all the while I am unravelling.

Tagged as: Breaking up, Dating, Troubled relationships<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (31 July 2010) 1 Answers - (Newest, 31 July 2010)
A female United States age 41-50, *ostinlove1001 writes:

Hello friends, I need some advice. My bf and I had a big blowout a few weeks ago, it was my fault, I lied to him about a few things and he found out. The lies were white and small and didn't hurt anyone but still, I lied. After trying to reconcile and him not seeming to make an effort and getting nastier and nastier I finally ended it on sunday.

Tuesday morning he called me and told me that the problem was that he is having a hard time trusting me, and needs some space and time to see if "the feelings return". He said he needs to get his "head straight and the only way that can happen is with time". I numbly agreed, expecting nothing. He ended the conversation saying "its not like I am saying I never want to see u again or talk to u again, we will still be in each others life" then he said "all is not lost".

The very next day he called me and texted me and we spoke. A few "honeys" slipped from his lips but I put no stock in it. The following day, he texted me again and we spoke briefly. Yesterday, I texted him "thinking of u" an d he called me within 1min. We spoke for about 2 hours and a few more honeys slipped out. He asked me if I was ok or upset and I responded "very". He said, u don't sound upset. All I could think was, should I cry in front of him? I don't want him to think I don't care.

Today, friends, I am feeling devasted though. I am confused. We haven't seen each other in two weeks or had sex in a month. He says he needs space, but he keeps calling me everyday. I don't know what to make of it.

I miss him desperately.

How long will this break last? I feel like I'm falling apart.

View related questions: needs some space, needs space, text

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A female reader, fishdish United States +, writes (31 July 2010):

fishdish agony auntI think you need to gently say to him that if he wants time he has to actually take time off from you two, because the limbo thing is painful. if he can't handle NOT talking to you, then maybe he realizes a separation is not what he wants, but you have to ask him, because it seems to me he can't have it both ways.

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