A
male
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:In December last year I met a girl standing in line at a fast food place, I was standing behind her. When it was her turn to pay, turns out she forgot her money in the car. I saw this and offered to pay. After I had payed, she thanked me over and over, and said she would go fetch the money in the car, I said it's fine, don't worry about it. Then after I had payed for my stuff, I saw her sitting at a table, and went to sit at a table next to hers. She then started thanking me again, and then we struck up a conversation, about work, life, just general things. By the end of the conversation, we had exchanged numbers, solely for business purposes. I'm a graphics designer, she's a hair stylist. Since December up until the end of March we've texted each other and spoken over the phone, until we agreed to go see a movie we both really wanted to watch. I had not seen her since we met the first time. So we went to watch the movie, and the evening went pretty well. We've gone out 3 times, and we really like each other. So here's the thing, there's an 11 year age gap, I'm turning 32, she's turning 21. I didn't know this the first time we met. It feels weird because I've never been with a girl that young. I thought her level of maturity might be problem, but surprisingly, she seems quite mature and independent. But I'm not sure if I should take this further, because I know this age gap may be frowned upon by not only society, but also her family. We have discussed this, and she says the age thing doesn't bother her at all. But at the same time, she is young, and still has alot to decide and accomplish, before she settles down, and I don't want to stand in her way. Also, I know people at this age chop and change the minds all the time. I would settle, but it's not a must at the moment for me. I'm not sure where to go with this. PLEASE HELP.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (26 April 2015): I sounds to be like you like each other a lot. Just take it slow. There's nothing wrong with age gaps, I promise! I met my husband when I was 22 and he was 32. Eight years later, we're still going strong!
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (14 April 2015): I'd add to what SoVery Confused has said - just be careful because A LOT changes for women when they are under 30. I married at 18 to a 28 year old man and at first I found his older age VERY exciting - weirdly enough it felt like something of an ego boost.
By the time I was 24 I had gone to university and although I was a mature student I got on well with everyone there. His age became a REAL turnoff.
But I will say that he was unemployed all that time, smoked at least 20 cigarettes a day, drank every night, didn't want to ever have sex with me (people told me I should become a model) and was basically unable to cope with anything in the real world.
We divorced and apart from a couple of casual factory jobs for a few months, he has never worked. He also became incredibly fat and went to live back with his mother. SO, I can't 100% say for sure that the 10 year age gap was all that turned me off, or whether it was his attitude, but considering he was only 34 when we split, I felt like I'd been given a brand new lease of life afterwards, as if I'd dropped a dead weight from my shoulders and could breathe again.
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A
male
reader, rcn  +, writes (13 April 2015):
 I agree, just let it happen naturally, and don't try to analyze it. If you two have chemistry, then that's what's needed to make this work. Don't worry about age, only focus on her as being an individual as she should do the same with you. In my experience I've found many relationships that make it are ones which there is an age gap.
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A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (12 April 2015):
 11 years... well it's more than most folks like but an older man and younger woman is very acceptable.
try mine.. I'm 13+ yrs older than my husband.
just know that it may not last forever as what you want at 21 is not what you want at 30....
but if you want to give it a shot and the ONLY thing holding you back is her age... i say go for it.
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A
female
reader, Fari  +, writes (12 April 2015):
 Hey OPAge is just a number. I understand your concerns and worries but society and parents dont have much say when it comes to your relationship. This is between you and her. My ex was 35 and I was 21 at the time and I didnt feel weird or embarrassed in public and we did love each other. We as women love a guy thats older and mature and who can take care of us .. The only thing that am concerned is like you said she is still growing and you have practically seen and been through life. So from time to time she may wanna go out with friends , or party or get her degree , bachelors , and am worried that throughout this you may get left out or feel left out but you have to understand that she is still a girl and she may not want to do the things that you may be ready for like settling down, having a baby, starting a home etc. Thats where the whole age-gap becomes a problem but it doesnt have to be. If this is what both of you want and you can reach a compromise and understand each others needs , limitations etc . A relationship is only as good as the amount of effort you put into it and it can work. So my advice would be to talk to her and get her take on this, find out her dreams, plans, if they involve you and see where to go from there. ALL THE BEST!! FARI :)
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (12 April 2015): Listen man just go with it. Love doesn't see age. It justs happens. Women love it when their partner is older than them. They feel loved and protected. Moreover women find older men (not men in 50s, 60s or 70s, by older men I mean when the age gap is between 10-15 years, not more than that) attractive both sexually as well as emotionaly.
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