A
female
age
26-29,
anonymous
writes:So me and my boyfriend just broke up AGAIN for good, he was the first guy I've ever loved and it hurts like hell. But theres a story behind it all..the first time we broke up was around March after spring break where he started talking to some female and denied it when I asked..he was planning on having sex with her and breaking up with me...I broke up with him and months later he comes back saying he's changed and that he loves me (it was the first time he ever told me he loved me)..and that's where I am now. We go to different colleges, I am 3 hours away from him and as soon as he started college he started acting weird..not texting back, weird things keep coming up with females, I started feeling like I wasn't a priority anymore and he's a party promoter in the city so he's always out around a lot of females. One day on twitter I see some girl say that she's had a chill day and that they playfully go out now..I get upset and he tells me its nothing and that they were playing and stuff. I'm a very passive person so I get over it..a couple days later he tells me he cheated on me and he's so sorry and all this and I told him if he messed up again that I would leave for good this time and I would never talk to him again..so I broke up with him of course I'm crying and I still am, I'm still SO hurt. So i go home for the weekend and he's telling me he loves me and wants to speak to me..then one of my friends tell me that basically that him and the girl he was talking to on twitter we're talking and he was telling her that he would drop me for her..like I am beyond hurt by this and I'm still crying. I confront him and he tells me its not true of course and then he tells me all this stuff about how he doesn't deserve me and that he wants to fight for me but he knows he's gonna keep hurting me..honestly it sounds like a load of shit. it's been like a week since it happened and Am I wrong for always thinking of him? even though he's hurt me so bad? He even hooked up with another female as soon as we broke up...does he even care about me? Do I not know how to be treated because I would potentially take him back?
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female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (19 November 2014):
 It's only been a week... give it time.
go NO CONTACT with him... you two are over and done.
IT takes a while to get over someone you care about who has betrayed your trust.
DO NOT TAKE HIM BACK. DO NOT talk to him, do not text him,
block him on all social media. block the girls he's seeing. block his phone and his email. GO NO CONTACT.
then allow yourself six weeks to grieve. you have my permission to not wear makeup, not diet, not exercise, watch teary chick flicks, eat ice cream from the container and feel generally lousy for SIX weeks. think of him constantly.. write him long letters about how you feel what your dreams were and why you are so hurt.. then either burn them or seal them up and put them away to read in about 5 years.
AFTER SIX WEEKS you have to start getting your life back together.
makeup again
dieting again if you need to
exercise time again...
smiling again.
NO need to date or seek dates.. those will come with time.
NO CONTACTING HIM
the way it usually works is
week 1-6 you think of him constantly from the first minute you wake up till the second you fall asleep. THIS is normal.
after that you will find slowly it changes.
one day you wake up and don't think about him till you are in the shower
then a few days or weeks later you realize it's morning break and it's the first time you have thought of him.
one day later on you won't think of him till you are driving home...
and one night down the road you will lay down and think of him and realize it's the first time all day you have thought of him.
I know this for a fact as it happened to me. NOW I only think about the guy that destroyed me when I write these posts advising women that they will heal.
A
female
reader, Fari  +, writes (19 November 2014):
 This is too painful for me to read to the end. Personally, I think you need to break up with this guy. He cheats on you and disrespects you by forwardly flirting with girls. You have forgiven him countless times and he continues to do the same thing over and over again. Of course he says 'I love you" but look at the time he says it...right in time to save his sorry self. Love has no meaning coming from him, if he loved you he would be honest, respectful and care about what you have to say.
He is just using that word as a means to play with your emotions right now and it seems like its working. You have gone through so much pain, no one deserves that. So just leave him, save yourself now. I know its hurts but time heals all wounds.
...............................
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