A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:l been with my boyfriend for 5 years and our relationship was great. We are both 25. He loves me so much and serious about our relationship. He would do anything to make me happy. But now he has changed. Its because of me too. Its my fault. I've made some mistakes to him. He proposed to marry me before but I told him I can't because of his living situation and I realize that's the biggest mistake I've made. We broke up month ago and he changed much until I feel strange with him. He got tattoo and smoke. Before he didn't and I wish he doesn't do this.Don't get me wrong.. I want him to erase his tattoo because my parents hates tattoo and it will make them upset. I'm so stressed out but I can't told my family about this since my dad has health issues. I also didn't like him with tattoo. I wish he can be like him before.. How can I pursue him to remove his tattoo? I've told him about this but he said he's not going to erase it. Every time I think about his tattoo I get panic and upset. Please help me.. How can I told him? I love him and I wish he is without his tattoo.. Please give me some advice and don't get me wrong... Thanks..
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (26 September 2014): He won't erase his tattoo - it's very expensive and very painful. And it's his body, so it's not real fair to expect him to just because you and your parents don't like it. I mean, just say he had a fetish for girls with tattoos and he asked you to tattoo yourself, would you do it just because he asked? Just because he has started smoking and has tattoos doesn't mean he's changed. Having tattoos doesn't mean a thing. It doesn't mean he's a "bad boy," doesn't mean he's a derelict. Plenty of respectable people have tattoos. There are doctors, church youth leaders, athletes, teachers, chefs... plenty of people who have tattoos. It's his choice to have it and if you can't live with it, then find another boyfriend.
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (20 September 2014): You don't you get a new bf without a tattoo. I hate tattoos but if I had one and my partner told me to get rid of it I would tell them to get lost.
It's he's body and as long as it's not offencive to you, there is nothing you can do
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A
female
reader, janniepeg  +, writes (20 September 2014):
 You broke up for a reason. He had to change his living situation and now you want to remove his tattoo or even make him quit smoking. Maybe you got back with him only thinking about the good times you've had. Your break up did not cause him to get a tattoo or start smoking. It's something in him that wants to do these things. Be eccentric or cool.
It depends on where the tattoo is. If it's on the upper arm he can cover it. If you are not comfortable about telling your relationship with your parents, you don't have to. Although your parents know what kind of men are good for you. They can only give you advice. You can take it or leave it. But to panic over a tattoo is extreme. Not all tattoo guys are gangsters.
It seems like you two are very different. If it were tattoo or smoke you would be arguing about other things in the future. You may be afraid of breaking up with him again and maybe why you are finding ways to tolerate it, or trying to change him again. Neither is good. It's hard to convince him to erase it because he doesn't see it as a big deal like you do.
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A
female
reader, Fari  +, writes (20 September 2014):
 It can be very frustrating when people who we think we know begin to show their colors. Who knows why he got the tattoo and is smoking , maybe he is just as stressed out like you and sometimes when people are stressed they have their ways of dealing with it. It might not necessarily be the best. However , I have to agree with you , especially the concern you have as you said .. your dad has health issues. So talk to him about your concerns and see if he would hear you out , if you have done all you can he just wont change then he never will.
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