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At what point is it OK to buy lingerie for your girlfriend?

Tagged as: Dating, Sex, Teenage<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (3 August 2013) 8 Answers - (Newest, 5 August 2013)
A male Ireland age 26-29, anonymous writes:

Me and my gf have been seeing for a year and a half now . I’m thinking I would like to get a special gift. I’m thinking about lingerie. when is it ok to lingerie for your girlfriend? Any advice about getting lingerie for a girlfriend? Is that something we should buy together or be a surprise?

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A male reader, SensitiveBloke United Kingdom +, writes (5 August 2013):

SensitiveBloke agony auntA word of warning: who are you buying it for? Is it for her benefit or yours?

If she thinks you've bought it cos you want to see how hot she looks in it, she will feel you've been selfish and just thought of yourself and not her. Then the whole thing will have backfired!!

Maybe better to get her something feminine than sexy.

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (4 August 2013):

If you guys have sex (or plan to), or if she has at least let you watch her in underwear more than once, then it's time. Go for it.

For the first time, it's better to be a surprise gift. It feels sexier that way.

Get yourself acquainted with women's underwear since it's a bit complicated. You have to take into account every curve on her body. There are multiple sizes you need to remember. When you're ready to buy don't buy online. Go to a lingerie department in a large store. There are friendly ladies there who specialize in helping guys like you. You just have to give them and idea of what you're looking for, and then describe your girlfriend's shape and size to them, and they will make sure you will leave the store happily.

And remember. Although the lingerie is gifted to her, it bears a message from you that says "I'm looking for a fun time with you". So it has to be presented in the right timing and mood. And better be accompanied with chocolate and flowers.

One last piece of advice. For the first few times it's wiser to go for the elegant type of lingerie than the slutty type. The elegant type is pricier but you will know it was totally worth it when she puts them on and feels good in them.

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A female reader, Honeypie United States + , writes (4 August 2013):

Honeypie agony auntI agree with Daisy.. the Lingerie is NOT for her, it's for YOUR enjoyment. So if you WANT her to wear stuff like that for you, ask her what she likes and go shopping together.

My husband LOVES lingerie - me.. not so much. And I really don't like HIS taste in lingerie either lol (he has WAY different taste then me when to comes to many things). If I'm going to wear stuff like that.. well, then it BETTER be something I like.

Decent lingerie is expensive, and personally I can find MANY other WAY more useful things I RATHER receive then lingerie which uses are rather limited. But I'm of a more practical nature I guess.

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A female reader, answerfromtheheart United States +, writes (4 August 2013):

answerfromtheheart agony auntIt would be an awesome thing if you got her something like that as a surprise. It would mean a lot to her. And after a year together, I think you are definitely in the sexy lingerie time period.

Good luck,

and have fun.

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A female reader, Daisy_Daisy United Kingdom +, writes (3 August 2013):

Daisy_Daisy agony auntI'm a bit unsure about buying men buying lingerie for their girlfriends. Maybe I'm a tad cynical, but I feel they are buying it more for themselves (to see their GF wearing it) than for their GF.

But if you know she loves nice lingerie, and you know her size, I guess it's OK.

OP, if you're unsure then maybe stick to something safer like a nice necklace or earrings. Or as you say, choose some things together.

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A female reader, chigirl Norway +, writes (3 August 2013):

chigirl agony auntYou can buy her lingerie if 1) you already have an active and good sex life, and 2) she likes fancy lingerie. If you've never seen her in fancy lingerie before, then don't buy it for her.

Lingerie is like perfume, it is either a hit or a miss. You can either get it right, and she'll love it, or it can go massively wrong and she'll be offended. So if you want to buy her lingerie, you better know her well, and know her likes and dislikes. And keep the receipt, because there's a 50% chance it'll be returned.

And you must must must get the size right. So you either have to know her size, or you have to snoop through her underwear and find out what size she is.

In other words, you got to know her well before you embark on lingerie shopping. If you have to ask if it's the right time, then it probably isn't.

You could however get her a gift card to a fancy shop, and make sure you are generous, because fancy lingerie costs a fortune. But keep in mind, it's about HER, not you. If lingerie is going to be a gift it needs to be something she likes... not just something you think look pretty. It's her gift, not yours.

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A female reader, Euphoric29 Germany +, writes (3 August 2013):

Dear OP,

The best gifts are those that a woman wants, but usually doesn't buy too often for herself because she considers it luxury. Maybe it's sexy lingerie, maybe it's a ticket to the opera, maybe it's a new pair of earrings..

So, if your girlfriend will love lingerie as a gift or not depends on her.. does SHE like to buy lingerie, does she have a collection, does she wait in front of shop windows to see new styles? Or is she rather the practical type who wears cotton panties all the time and doesn't care about sexy undies?

If you want to make a special gift, make a list of all the things she likes. You can also take her shopping for something else first and see how she reacts to different things - does she show you a new pair of shoes, or is she heading right to the book store?

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A male reader, olderthandirt  +, writes (3 August 2013):

olderthandirt agony auntI wouldn't do it, It would be kind of like trying to guess a woman's age or wieght...you don't ever do that!

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