A
female
age
22-25,
anonymous
writes:So long story short ive been in this relationship and it started off perfectly fine until she got obsessively clingy. Everytime i go out with my parents/friends/family and I'm too busy to respond (I should include this is a long distance relationship) she'll blow up my phone with texts, snapchats, instagram private messages, tumblr, kik, etc. asking me why im not responding. And once I do she goes into this long and complex talk on how 'I feel like you don't want me anymore' or 'this isn't working out im leaving'. This is LITERALLY everytime it happens. I feel like I can't even leave my house anymore.Another thing is if i step away for a minute to shower or anything, she'll blow my phone up (per usual) then claim 'I'm leaving, goodbye' but the SECOND i respond she messages back right away like 'oh ok'Another incident that happened was she started this whole arguement with me on how 'I don't spend enough time talking to her' and claimed (for the hundredth time) that 'I'm just gonna go kill myself because I'll never be wanted' but when I respond whenever I get the chance and say 'please don't do that im here' she's all like 'im fine don't worry' like uhm??? This honestly doesn't seem normal to me but I just needed some advice from a different perspectiveThank you so much for reading
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, Caring Aunty A  +, writes (3 July 2017):
 [Lost in Space] DANGER, Will Robinson, DANGER!
Unfortunately you have yourself a Grand emotional blackmailer, among other things... literally and honestly she needs a Psychiatrist – professional help!
Sadly these people are EXTREMELY INSECURE, they use guilt to control or manipulate you. Please note; every time you respond, you feed the monster! Once the monster is fed; “please don’t do that...” it goes back to its cave; “I’m fine don’t worry” and you think you must be doing things correctly? WRONG!!!
Every single time they start to feel insecure or not in control of you, in come the bombardment of texts, questioning and threats of leaving or doing harm to themselves or you. It’s ATTENTION seeking at the most disturbing, and you fall unwittingly into their trap.
Here I am not going to recommend you play Doctor BF or spin you relationship advice regarding boundaries. This is not a matter of simple reassurance and making her feel special or boundaries. SHE IS DANGER material!
I assure you it's a very TOXIC cycle if you stay :(
Take Care – CAA
A
male
reader, devont  +, writes (2 July 2017):
 There is a hard truth you must face: this is an emotionally abusive relationship. Someone threatening to kill themselves to try and get their way is emotional blackmail and isn't acceptable behaviour.
Have you talked to her about this? Have you said to her that you find it upsetting and hurtful when she bombards you with messages, that it makes you feel like she doesn't trust you? That you are entitled to go out with your family and you don't actually have to respond to her at all?
Talk to her, and point out what Cindy said, that a relationship has to be built on mutual trust and respect and at the moment she is treating you with neither. She sounds very immature, so maybe with a bit of time and a few honest conversations she will get better and learn not to take her insecurities out on you.
All the best.
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A
female
reader, CindyCares  +, writes (2 July 2017):
 No, obviously this is not normal- nor acceptable. Why do you put up with this ? She is not a woman... she is an electronic anklet !. I am sure that you like, or love , this person and you'd rather stay in the relationship . But without mutual trust and respect - there's simply no relationship, there's just one side clinging on and manupulating to get detain control in the partner, and this is not love, it's a form of abuse . I am sure she's got her own problems and issues to be like this, but... you aren't her shrink, and you are not supposed to give up having a normal life because she did not fix her issues.
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