A
female
age
30-35,
*idsummer
writes:Any tips you guys can give me about moving in with your significant other? I am going to be moving relatively soon with my bf, and I never have done that before. He has in the past when he was younger. He is 26 and I'm 22. But he told me it wasnt anything serious since he was living with his ex and her mom who paid everything. So were both going to embark in this journey, and I'm very excited yet a tad nervous.And yes i've already, read a ton of advice from diferent websites. I just want to read your own experiences.
View related questions:
his ex Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, Been there Now over it +, writes (26 November 2015):
Have a very informal conversation with him regarding the potential problems in this, which could include bill paying, how chores are to be split, the level of cleanliness you both expect, making meals, washing dishes, anything that could lead to disagreements later. What don't you like about the place where he lives now?
Make notes and keep them so that you can refer back to your conversation when issues come up. It might scare him but it would be good to get things written down in detail.
A
male
reader, devont  +, writes (25 November 2015):
 Firstly, congratulations! My main advice is to talk about bills and how you will split them. When I lived with my ex, paying bills was a big problem in our relationship. When we first moved in together, we were both students so we didn't discuss who would pay what, we just kind of muddled along relying on our student loans. Then I got a job that paid more than hers, so it just ended up with me paying for the majority of things - we talked about setting up a joint account but it never materialised (we lived together for four years). After about a year, SHE got a job that paid more but I still ended up paying for everything for the rest of our relationship, which built up a massive amount of resentment. I wish that we'd talked about it before and had said up a joint account immediately and agreed how much we'd put in each month. With my current girlfriend, we opened up a joint account straight away and share all expenses - and if one of us needs to take money from the joint account or put less in than usual, we tell each other and it's fine. It's easy to take each other for granted when you live together so remember to still make an effort - bring home a small gift you saw on your way home from work every now and again, bring each other coffee in the morning, let them watch their favourite tv show that you hate. Also don't forget you are a couple as well as room mates - keep kissing each other hello and goodbye, keep giving back rubs when they've had a hard day, surprise them with a weekend away somewhere. Make sure you still make an effort to go out with your friends by yourself... It makes you appreciate what you have at home more. On a practical point... Buy more cutlery than you think you'll need - we regularly find teaspoons and forks go missing! (It's mainly my fault as I take cutlery to work and then forget about it and leave it there!)Living together is a big step and will make you or break you as a couple. Either you'll slot together and it will be like you've always lived in the same place, or your annoying habits and spending more time together will make you realise you're not meant to be... I hope it's the former for you! Good luck :)
...............................
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (25 November 2015): Split the chores, choose how and have it written down, I suggest a white board with the daily tasks, that way you can tick them off as they're done.
Go to bed together, even if its for a chat and cuddle before the night owl sneaks away until they're tired.
Learn recipes together and take turns cooking.
Take an interest in each others hobbies, you don't need to love them, but be able to ask questions.
...............................
|
