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*evont

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< Prev1234Next > [4 pages, 119 answers]

Am I right to be annoyed by her behaviour with another guy when we were out together?

Q.   Hi guys. I recently went on a first date with a girl. It seemed to go pretty well and we even kissed. We have been texting ever since with relative frequency and a couple of attempts have been made to meet again but for various reasons we...

A.   12 July 2015: I think you are right to be annoyed, I think she was rude. If you see an old friend on a date, you say to your date, 'Hey, this is so-and-so, an old friend I haven't seen in a while' and then you say to the old friend 'Nice to see you so-and-so, ... (read in full...)

What does love feel like? Am I being silly looking for more than what I had with him?

Q.   So I was with my ex boyfriend for 3 years and on the face of things we had a really great relationship. He really is lovely. So respectful and trustworthy and generous and kind. He would do anything for anyone and I really do love him. The thing is...

A.   12 July 2015: Don't go back to him. When I was with my ex, I really liked her and we got on well and had fun, I thought we'd probably spend the rest of our lives together... But, like you, sometimes I'd wonder if I was actually IN love with her. When we'd b... (read in full...)

My boyfriend is in no rush to get a divorce or remarry. Should I worry?

Q.   I am 32 and my boyfriend is 28 and we have been together for about 8 months. Once he gets enough money to pay for his divorce he will file it, since he hasn't seen his wife in like 2 years. They are over each other. He also has a child that he ...

A.   1 July 2015: Personally, I wouldn't worry too much that he doesn't want to get married again soon. As long as he doesn't say he NEVER wants to get married again, who cares if eight months into a relationship he isn't ready for marriage? He also didn't say ... (read in full...)

I am a virgin, but I don't understand this: How people can have sex with the same person over and over again and not get bored?

Q.   I am still a virgin so I have no knowledge of such things, but it seems to me that If I had sex with the same girl all the time then things would get very boring, kind of like watching the same movie over and over and over again. Assuming that nei...

A.   15 May 2015: Sex is very personal, so this is my personal viewpoint. I would say sex with the same person is not like watching the same movie again and again, more like watching episodes of your favourite tv series - following the same plot and with the sam... (read in full...)

Every time I think about him I feel ten times worse!

Q.   I've got depression, dropped out of uni due to it and am stuck back at home again with an abusive family due to financial reasons. I have no friends but I did meet a guy through temp work, who's older, in his thirties. He was bullying and rud...

A.   13 May 2015: Living with depression is really hard, so firstly, I would really really recommend getting along to a doctor. Also, a good place to start making friends/getting support is elefriends - just google it and sign up. I know it is easier said than... (read in full...)

I can't help feeling that I owe my ex another try, but the new guy is amazing

Q.   Hi aunts and uncles. This is going to be a long post so please bare with me. I split up with my ex boyfriend in May. We were together for almost five years. Our relationship ended mutually as we both agreed things weren't working. We argu...

A.   10 November 2014: You definitely don't owe it to your ex to give it another try. Yes, five years is a long time... But you spent at least five years at school, did you 'throw it all away' by leaving? No, school finished, the experience helped shape you and you moved ... (read in full...)

Can people be in long term stable relationships that they don't realize are wrong for them until a particular passion comes about with someone else?

Q.   Without dragging out too many details, I joined an outdoor activity club over a year ago and met a guy on a weekend away with it, at the time we were both in relationships but after I got home he messaged me just general chit chat and it has ...

A.   17 October 2014: I was in a long term relationship with my ex for five years. Then I started a new job and got on extremely well with one of my colleagues - there was something between us and I really, really liked her, even though there wasn't anything particularly ... (read in full...)

He ignores my calls and texts and makes excuses.

Q.   Well, I've been in a relationship with my boyfriend for 4 months now, but before that we were dating on and off, and he keeps saying he'll never leave me, but he keeps going on about other girls and he knows I don't like that at all. I've asked him ...

A.   21 September 2014: Why on earth are you putting up with this? He sounds like a dreadful boyfriend who is not interested in you or the relationship at all. I would stop calling and texting him and if he doesn't contact you, just assume the relationship is over. If... (read in full...)

He likes me as a colleague but I don't know about more

Q.   A male co worker and I get on really well at work. I just feel this chemistry with him I've not felt before. I can't work him out though, he always nice to me, has a joke with me asks me to do things for him. He asks me a lot about myself. He's ...

A.   19 September 2014: It is hard to say from your post if he likes you. If you like him, just ask him out. It doesn't have to be a big thing, maybe if you've had a busy day ask if he wants to get a drink after work or something? If he says no, you've not really lost ... (read in full...)

It seems like he's hiding behind his social awkwardness

Q.   Dear cupids. I need some advice. I have liked this guy for quite a long time now... Over a few years the timing has seemed all wrong. It has generally been that he likes me more than i like him. Last year we had a brief fling, and then his ...

A.   19 September 2014: I think you should try and move on. If he liked you back, he wouldn't let 'social awkwardness' get in the way, especially as you've already had a fling and he is confident enough to have had a girlfriend... When you're at uni, you'll meet load... (read in full...)

She has caused trouble for us and my friend and I cannot stand her. How can we drop her from our lives?

Q.   My friends and I have this issue that we really can't talk to an adult in our lives about without getting into trouble and we don't know how to solve the problem either. There's this girl who hangs around us who we really just don't like and w...

A.   19 September 2014: Give her a break. You're both at school and only have to put up with each other for a finite amount of time. Everyone has someone like that in their lives at some point. Me, my partner, my parents, whoever, at school, at work, at church, wherever... (read in full...)

If he really wasnt interested why would he have text me all of those months?

Q.   So I was texting this guy who was working away for about 9 months. During that time we were talking about going places together when he came home. Now he is back on one hand he seems interested flirting etc but on the other tells people he isnt ...

A.   26 August 2014: One of my friends keeps in touch with a few girls he has no intention of dating, but he speaks to them enough to keep them interested in him. On more than one occasion, he'd come into work looking tired, and when you asked if he was ok, he'd ... (read in full...)

Does anyone else thinks that they closeness between the ex and my sons gf is a little odd?

Q.   My son is 23 and has been dating a girl for about 8 months now. She is 22 and has a 4 year old son, Grady. . I was a little concerned with them dating not wanting him to get involved in an ex bf new bf drama, Last weekend we were invited to the l...

A.   13 August 2014: One of my friends is in a similar situation, her husband keeps in very close contact with his ex wife, they get along famously and they all go out with the children as a family with two sets of parents and three sets of grandparents. I find it... (read in full...)

I let her in to my life and it was a mistake

Q.   Really needing some advice. I went through a very horrible relationship many years ago. The girl cheated on me, was violent, really messed with my head. I now suffer from anxiety and had PTSD. I still have regular nightmares. I'm really a shadow ...

A.   12 August 2014: I don't think you should go back to the group, even if she's not there it will only have bad memories. Say goodbye to the others through facebook or whatever, they deserve that. Find another group to socialise in, you've done amazingly well in this ... (read in full...)

Every time I try to leave this man he threatens to kill himself. Is this my fault?

Q.   Been with my partner for seven years, we have a four year old child together. We have a very rocky relationship and constantly argue and I am very unhappy and he is too. I have tried to make this relationship work for two years now and it just won't ...

A.   12 August 2014: Everyone has given you sound advice. This man is emotionally blackmailing you, get out of this controlling relationship as soon as you can. Let him make threats, I really doubt he will follow through... especially as he hasn't before and has even ... (read in full...)

I suffer from terrible adult acne and its really affecting my self-esteem.

Q.   Hi Aunts. It his isn't a love question as such but it does relate to my low self esteem, . I have suffered with acne for ten plus years of my life. It's always had a huge impact on my confidence and I've often skipped going out or seeing people ...

A.   5 August 2014: I can also vouch for isotretinoin (marketed as Roaccutane, as I took it) - it cannot just be prescribed by your GP, you need to be referred to a dermatologist as the others have said. It takes a while, but it works, without fail. There are poss... (read in full...)

My boyfriend and I don't have sex and he finally admitted that my weight was a problem. If he doesn't love me fully for who I am today, then why does he deserve me later when I am thinner?

Q.   So I have been in a relationship with my boyfriend for 8 months. We have been friends for years, and he said that there was something about me that made him want to take it to the next level. I love him, and I am pretty sure he loves me. But here's ...

A.   5 August 2014: I can't believe that is the reason he doesn't want to have sex, I really think there must be something else going on. Being with someone because in the future they will/might be someone you're attracted to is ludicrous. That would be like going out ... (read in full...)

Should I ask out the 22 year old woman I'm interested in?

Q.   Hi I'm a 31 year old guy, 2 months ago I split up with a 23 year old. Now I've met a 22 year old who I like but I'm worried she is too young for me so I haven't asked her out yet. I got the impression from a few of my friends and family tha...

A.   27 July 2014: I think it is fine and personally, I don't think it would come across that you were pervy. 22 is legal, 22 is an adult. You've already experienced the challenges of dating someone younger, so you'll know what to expect. There's a similar gap betw... (read in full...)

My boyfriend lied, and I don't know how to approach him about it!

Q.   So I've just found out, for the 1st time, that my boyfriend has lied to me. We've been together for 3 amazing months, it's left me feeling on top of the world. We had arranged to see each other tonight and tomorrow before he goes away for...

A.   27 July 2014: With regards to challenging him, Aemita is right, you've got to keep calm when you ask him about it and try not to sound like you're accusing him. He will probably lie again to your face when you challenge him and it is really hard not to lose... (read in full...)

Chatting online for a month and he wants me to pay his phone bill so we can talk

Q.   I met this guy in a dating website about a month ago and he asked me to pay his phone bill. It makes me a little uncomfortable because I don't know if he is using me. He says he likes me a lot and has plans to come visit me in 3 weeks (lives 7 hours ...

A.   11 July 2014: Your gut tells you it's bs because it IS bs. To ask for money after such a short time reeks of a scam. Just like the others have said, he can you Skype or email or find a bloody pay phone or something. Maybe I missed it in your post, but why does he ... (read in full...)

Does not wanting to to work outside the home make me a bad person?

Q.   Does not wanting to to work outside the home make me a bad person? My husband barely makes enough to support us. We don't even have children. We have talked about adoption in the future when we are better off. We're in our mid twenties. I ofte...

A.   7 July 2014: Imagine if it was the other way around. Imagine if your husband said to you "I'm quitting my job to stay at home, you need to get a promotion at work to pay for us both." I can't imagine you would be too pleased. I wouldn't be, in fact, it would p... (read in full...)

If he's interested in me, why won't he act on it?

Q.   Ok my question is for men. What are men really thinking when they stare at you like i mean not only even subtle to make it clear to you they are doing it, then flirt with you and steal looks at your chest. I thought this guy may have liked me but h...

A.   22 June 2014: He thinks you're attractive but doesn't want to date you. ... (read in full...)

My girlfriend is on exchange and has become close to a male friend. Am I being oversensitive?

Q.   Hi guys, just a question about a girlfriend on exchange. My girlfriend and I have been in a relationship for 3 years, and while we've had rocky moments, we've been fairly stable all along. Recently though, she went on exchange for 6 months wi...

A.   13 June 2014: For her to tell you about it is good. She's been upfront about spending time with this other boy, so he might just be a friend. Usually, it is the hidden relationships you need to be wary of. So yes, maybe you are overthinking this. On the othe... (read in full...)

Should I enjoy my Gf's amazing personality and hope that she'll make the decision to lose weight so that she can become more physically appealing?

Q.   So I'm 22 and recently I've started talking to this girl who is 18. When it comes to a personality she's everything I could possibly ask for. But as far as looks she has a really cute face but she's pretty overweight. It sounds pathetic on my p...

A.   11 June 2014: Whatever you do, DEFINITELY don't tell her. You are completely right, being attracted to each other is a big part of a relationship. If you don't find her attractive at her current weight, that is FINE. Stop seeing her and move on. But DON'T as... (read in full...)

In a man's mind, why would he ask you to turn off the light to kiss him? I thought that men liked women to do the opposite.

Q.   What does it mean when a man wants to kiss you in the dark? Call me paranoid but I get the feeling that's a bad sign. I have self image related problems and far less from perfect but I'm always trying to improve the quality of my life- although...

A.   31 May 2014: I can only guess he likes kissing in the dark? I don't think it is anything to do with you. If it bothers you, ask to keep the light on, but I really wouldn't worry about it. If he wants to kiss you, then that's good, isn't it?!... (read in full...)

Help me win my crush!

Q.   Ok, I've just very recently started at a new, temporary job, and there's a girl there that I'm really keen on, she's 100% GF material, and I'm actually 80% sure that she's keen on me too! Problem is, messing things up with the fairer sex is my ...

A.   31 May 2014: I've got to agree with the others... She knows you like her and likes the attention. She's got a boyfriend, that's why she hasn't gone on a date with you yet. I'd leave her be for now. Enjoy flirting with her, but keep it at that.... (read in full...)

What is your "Ultimate Love Song"?

Q.   Ok, totally frivolous, recreational question here... Recently a poster asked suggestions about love songs,.. I'd like to extend the question to know which is for you ,fellow Dear Cupiders, the Ultimate Love Song. Not the best, the most original...

A.   23 May 2014: In the Middle, Theory of a Deadman. Favourite lyric - 'There goes the world and I'm right in the middle with you'... (read in full...)

After no training, and lack of support I feel I have been unfairly dismissed. I am left with absolutely nothing including no income, what can I do?

Q.   Hi guys, I posted last weekend about beng made to feel like I'm thick since starting my new job, heres the link - http://www.dearcupid.org/question/since-starting-my-new-job-i-feel-like.html. Well I appreicate that everyone I spoke to in pers...

A.   30 March 2014: Firstly, I agree that this is unfair and it is not nice to be asked to leave a job. On the positive, you've not not been dismissed. You were on your probation and they didn't confirm your employment. You can twist this to your benefit and stil... (read in full...)

Never thought it would go on so long or get so serious, and now I can't live with the lies

Q.   You guys have probably never gotten a problem like this before...what I'm about to say is completely disgusting but please bare with me. I randomly met a guy online about 1 year ago. It was all just fun and games at first and a few days into ta...

A.   29 March 2014: I am really the only person on here that watches Catfish? Tell him, but don't expect anything, you've already hurt him. Google Catfish and watch a few episodes and you'll see just how devastating this kind of behaviour can be. On the flip sid... (read in full...)

Is asking this question a good way to find out if girls are interested in me?

Q.   I have made a habit of asking girls I like "were you waiting for me". I do this when visiting a shop, coming to work etc., to gauge their interest in me, from girls I know. I have received emphatic "no's" and I have no doubt that means no, nix, nyet ...

A.   25 March 2014: Don't rely on a phrase, but I think being prepared to chat to people is a great way of impressing girls. If you want to use that and it works, great. But I don't think that "were you waiting for me" is the best way to gage a girl's interest in you.... (read in full...)

I know I don't deserve my gf's love after what I did but I want to at least make sure she knows how much I regret my actions

Q.   My gf and I had been dating for a year and had known each other for 9 months prior to dating. Six months ago a "friend" of mine made a move on my gf and when she turned him down, he poisoned me against her. Taking advantage of my trust in him from a ...

A.   5 March 2014: What a 'friend'. Unbelievable behaviour. I can't even imagine how hurt she must have been. You need to apologise and not expect anything from that apology. I would try and meet up with her to apologise face to face, or failing that if (unders... (read in full...)

I don't want our relationship to be all about sex, but I feel I am making it that way.

Q.   Hey well I am a 20 year old male and I am dating a 22 year old virgin and I know she wants to wait and I do too. The problem is I've been wanting to have sex with her lately really bad. I have been pushing for it and feeling horrible. I love her and ...

A.   5 March 2014: While not the main aspect of a relationship, sex plays a significant part. So what are you waiting FOR? Her to be ready? Marriage? Either way, it could be a long wait. You say you want to kiss her and touch her... Are you doing that? Are you doing ... (read in full...)

I'm in love...but it’s just that I wasn't planning on finding myself here with my best girl friend who's engaged!

Q.   I would estimate I’m joined by at least 65% of other college guys who don’t REALLY believe in love. What, with so many people coming and going in these brief 4 years, falling in love is just a liability. But then just like that, it snuck up on ...

A.   5 March 2014: First of all... I don't think you are actually in love with this girl. I hope that comes as good news haha. I think you hold a very deep regard for her and have a special friendship, but loving someone as a wonderful friend does not mean you are... (read in full...)

Should I ask him to the dance?

Q.   The other day one of my friends found out that I like him and im not sure what to do. Were both seniors in high school (Me 17 and him 18) but ive never been in a relationship so im completely clueless. He said that he doesnt feel the same way ...

A.   5 March 2014: I wouldn't ask him to the dance. He's said he doesn't like you back and I think he was probably just trying to soften the blow by saying his doesn't know you well enough... I mean, you know HIM well enough to know you like him, so it should work ... (read in full...)

How do I deal with a guy I dated? I've moved on, he hasn't.

Q.   Hi everyone, I need advice on my situation. I met a guy back in December who was really lovely and had a great personality. I wasn't really attracted to him like that but he asked me out on a date and as I wasn't seeing anybody at the time I kind ...

A.   4 March 2014: Why have you not done the VERY obvious thing here? Block this idiot and change your number if needed. Stop replying to him at the very, very least. You don't owe him anything. He is carrying on because he is trying to get a rise out of you, maybe in ... (read in full...)

We were so in love then poof he's gone..

Q.   At my recent works Christmas meal, our waiter gave me his number, I was flattered and decided to text him. The more we text to and from we found that we clicked almost instantly, he said he couldn't take his eyes off me at the meal and I was take...

A.   1 March 2014: I cannot tell you how many times I have heard this story before. And it is almost always when the girl dates someone who is 'not her usual type' and who was 'taken in by the attention'. I must give you credit for not whining at the end 'HE was the ... (read in full...)

I still love him with all my heart but the butterflies have gone.

Q.   So.. When my boyfriend and I first started talking I would get butterflies and get really super happy when I talked to him, but now I don't get super happy or butterflies. Is this a sign that we need to take a break or what? I'm so confused on what ...

A.   25 February 2014: The butterflies do fade after a while, as does the extreme blissful happiness all relationships. It doesn't mean you love him any less, as long as you still like spending time with him and you're not interested in anyone else. Enjoy yoursel... (read in full...)

He wants me to move away with him but I can't stand the thought of leaving my friends and family behind

Q.   A year ago, I met the man of my dreams. I am 21, and he is 27. He is originally from Australia, and had spent the last three years living in the uk. He moved over here to live with his father who is a British citizen. We met through mutual friends,...

A.   25 February 2014: You need to tell him how you feel. If you want to be be together, one of you is going to have to make a very big sacrifice... Why has the fallout with his father happened if he is not living with him, but living with you? Would you b... (read in full...)

Hurtful comments from stranger .........

Q.   Today I went to a coffee shop and ordered myself something to drink. While I was about to leave the shop, I walked by a group of guys and they were looking at me and laughing at me. I heard one of the guys said, "did you see that girl?" "Did you get ...

A.   24 February 2014: I agree with the other poster, I really cannot imagine that either of these groups of guys were talking about you... Especially the 'did you get it' comment, that doesn't make sense to me. I do not think they were laughing about you, I think you ... (read in full...)

Is it natural to have doubts after breaking up with someone?

Q.   Me and my boyfriend of 2years have just broken up and I am obviously feeling very mixed and heartbraking emotions right now. I just feel better explaining on here and if anyone can give me any reassurance or advice it would be greatly appreciated. ...

A.   24 February 2014: Personally, I think you have made the right decision. You need to find yourself and he is holding you back. You are only doubting your decision because you are worried he was your soulmate and you won't find anyone else. He was not your sou... (read in full...)

Boyfriend cannot express his emotional needs and its driving me away!

Q.   I have been with my boyfriend for a few years but have only recently lived together. Up until lately we have been doing very well 99% of the time. We have strong feelings for each other and are an ideal couple. I am 28 and he is a few years youn...

A.   23 February 2014: Firstly... he is not going to change. Because you have asked him to change and he hasn't. And you've also not followed through on your threat to leave him. So in his eyes, he can do what he wants and get away with it. I say 'get away with it' ... (read in full...)

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