A
female
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes:iam a married women of 22 yrs in love with another married man at work we both feel the same way about each other but have younger children ( his a younger than mine)he feels they are to young to leave, he has no sexual relationship with his wife and is staying for the children. I do not have a bad marriage,however my husband is 13 years my senior he works away all week and i'am lonely and we have nothing in common,I feel lost in this situaton, not sure if i should stay or leave,looking for a little advise?
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (16 October 2007): If your new man was child-free and ready to run off tomorrow ask yourself very honestly whether you would go. Would you panic? Would you pack your bags and go with him? Children can be a very good excuse for staying put - masking the real reason which could be that he still has some (possibly deep rooted) feelings for his wife. I am sorry to say that I speak from experience that I was seeing a married man for 5 years. I don't beat myself up over it as I have learnt some hard lessons from the experience and this has made me understand my issues however..... he always always claimed he was not sleeping with his wife. I thought he was telling the truth because he was always keen to get me into bed. I wanted to believe him - why would he lie? he said he loved me etc!! The truth was he was sleeping with her just when she wanted it and guess what split us up? She got pregnant! He even lied about that to me until 3 weeks before she gave birth. The shock and deceit nearly killed me emotionally but I look back now and think - what good is a relationship that is built on lies anyway? If you are that unhappy at home, and it sounds like you are, why don't you move out on a trial separation from your husband and see what life has to offer. You are, from the sound of it, practically living on your own anyway. What would you miss? Just don't end up with two rubbish relationships neither of which make you happy. I wish you luck and love.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (16 October 2007): I would say unless you have heard it from his wife that they are not sleeping together then thats a lie. No man would stay in a relationship where there was no physical contact just for their kids if they didnt love the woman.
This guy is fishing for the best of both worlds, you need to either make more effort with your husband or leave and find yourself someone new.
There is no way you will get the other guy to leave. Dont be taken for a fool.
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A
female
reader, Cateyes  +, writes (16 October 2007):
 I think that's there favorite line that married men use....I'm staying because of the children and there's no sexual relations with my wife. Major BS! If your husband found out, do you think he would want to save your marriage, probably not. Do you feel he can trust you? There is no good excuse for what happened....know that.
Try getting to know your husband again...start dating like you just met. You'd be surprised how wonderful that will make him feel and yourself. You like this man because you are lonely...you feel you have nothing in common with your husband because he is away. Try talking to your husband about that and see what can he do to make some sort of a change in his work. Let him know how you feel and why. If you don't have any communication in your marriage now, do you think your next will? Think about it.
I could lie, or tell you what you want to hear, however, I'd rather tell you the truth.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (16 October 2007): Love is very powerful and it seems like you are not inlove with your husband anymore. If you are positive that you can go on with your life without your husband then you should do something. But if you are leaving him for this other man, then make sure that he wants to be with you.make sure that he would not disappoint you.
If you guys are truly inlove and want to be together, i would say go be with the love of your life.
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