A
female
age
51-59,
*evestated
writes:I am trying to figure out what is going on with men.My husband of 9 years, has been cheating on me. I caught him, he didnt confess. For about a year he was doing web cam dates (spent about $4500)then the past 6 months paid escorts(about 40 different women) for oral sex. Hand and blowjob's, he would suck their boobs, finger their privates,both of them totally nude. That was another $6000.He did it in our town, on business trips and in a city 45 min from us. We have 7 kids. He cheated on his first wife with 2 affairs, both were with only one person each time and they did have sex. We would have sex 3-4 times a week. I would give him great oral all the time. I am 10 years younger then he. good looking. love sex. do anything regarding sex. I where lingerie. I just dont get it. He said he did it to give himself space and he is a sex addict. Am I crazy to stay?
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, Cateyes +, writes (16 October 2007):
 Just like with AA, their are sex addicts who need help also. First, I would most certainly make sure you protect yourself from not getting any type of disease if you still are having sex with him. Aids, herpes, you name it...you could catch something if he was to catch something and you'd never even know it. Second, he does need professional help or through the help at Sex Addicts Annon. If he does not believe he needs help, he then is in denial and before he could or can get any help, he needs to admit he does have a problem. If he truly believes he does not, then I would suggest moving forward on your own. The only one's who he will be hurting are you and the children...and do you want your children to grow up as this? Children are the best at figuring out what is going on and they do learn from it.
YOU cannot make him get help, HE has to want to. HE has to see and know that what he is doing is terribly wrong and make a change.
YOU can make things better though for yourself and for your children...know that.
A
female
reader, hlskitten  +, writes (15 October 2007):
 Hi
In my opinion yes you are.
He is addicted to sex and the thrill of sex with different people.
You could give it to him 5 times a day, 7 days a week and it wouldnt fullfil his craving.
If he hasnt even started to get help from a therapist, you are just going to have to live with it and i cant see why any woman would want to do that.
Apart from the fact hes putting your health at risk too.
Good luck
C xxxxx
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (15 October 2007): I wouldn't say crazy, but stupid comes to mind, but then he is admitting he is a sex addict wich does sound it could be true.
Ask him to seek help, if you truley think you can get over the fact, he will probably fall to it again and again. If you can not handle those thoughts, i would step out now, before it becomes more devastaing to the children.
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