Saturday I am meeting my two younger half-siblings for the first time. They are 16 and 14. I'm 19 and we've never met, we didn't even all know about each other until a year ago. We all have the same Dad but none of us grew up with him. They grew up with a step-dad who they think of as their real father and their mom and I grew up with only my mom. How do you get to know someone that you're suppose to have always known? They're my brother and sister but we don't know each other. Saturday we are all going out to Olive Garden to dinner. My mom and me and their mom and them. The last time our moms saw each other was when they were fighting over the same man... so I'm a little worried how that will go.Any ideals on how to make this easy would help. I'm going to bring them a gift, just two shirts from my university. Do you think that's a good idea? I'm really nervous about everything and don't want to come off too strong or weird. A list of topic ideas would be appreciated also. I mean I'm thinking about bringing some of my childhood photos so we have something to talk about. I asked them to bring photos also. I just really don't know where to start...I've been talking to my half sister, 14, on Facebook for a few months now but we've really just been talking about superficial things. Just about her life NOW. Its still awkward. My half brother never is on Facebook and I've talked to him once for about two minutes. He didn't even know he had a half sister until a few months before I contacted them. I'm just worried this meeting might be awkward and a disaster. Any topics, help, ideas, would be very much appreciated. Sorry this is so long, thanks for taking the time to read!
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reader, Capri2 +, writes (18 February 2011):I don't have any experience in such meetings. So I would recommend you just common sense tips:
* Take it easy: get to know someone takes very much time. So don't rush into it. Besides that could be counterproductive and repel them.
* Meet then during a definite period of time. A dinner time is ok. And prefer several small encounters over a whole day with them. That way everyone can handle its own time.
* They are entering adolescence. It's not the better age for knowing you have a sibling you didn't know about. Be prepared (not afraid) for anything.
* Take into account that there is no reason for the to like you. I mean, not every person can get along with any other person. Some people are just not compatible, so never forget that and don't try to force things.
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