A
male
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I am a 24 yr old virgin male i try to live by the bible standards am nt perfect thats why i say try, some girls find it strange that a handsome guy at my age is still a virgin. Am waiting for marriage my girlfriend is a virgin and we both want to wait. My friends think am crazy but i think am dignified, my question is why do people want me to be like them and start having premarital sex? Is being a virgin that bad?
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female
reader, fishdish  +, writes (18 February 2011):
 Ideally you'll have both the physical and spiritual connection..focusing on one of the two for now is not a bad thing.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (17 February 2011): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanx for the replies, i just want to say i cant change my moral up bringing for anything. And the compatibility excuse tell me what if you dont find that fit are you going to have sex with a million people just to find out if your compatible? And when you do find that sexual compatibility and then theres no love compatibility what then?
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (17 February 2011): The only bit of advice I would add to what has been said about the positives of keeping yourself for reasons of faith is this: keep your private life private. No reason to endure teasing needlessly, yeah? If it comes up and you wish to discuss it, do so. But it's really better NOT. This is true of your emotional romantic life as much as your sexual, spiritual, financial... you get the drift. It's true we all tend to share a bit about ourselves from time to time, but the personal specifics we divulge can never be taken back. And in cases where useless debates and nosy questions result, what's the point? Skip the "reality tv" format and feel free to live your life with dignity, privacy, joy and peace. Best success wished to you and to yours!
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female
reader, fishdish +, writes (17 February 2011):
Just stick to your principles; you're not going to feel better when you're lumped into the crowd. After I lost my virginity I was disappointed it was hyped up to be such a big deal. I didn't feel anything either way. It's better to have your first time mean something to both you and your partner.
The only thing that makes me similar to your friends is that I would want to make sure I was physically compatible with someone before I married them. this is a preference, i think, and my value system, not yours; stick with yours and don't worry.
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A
female
reader, melomat  +, writes (17 February 2011):
 I respect the fact that you're a virgin at your age. Keep the faith. You've come this far why should you alter your views. If you and your girlfriend are happy then keep up the virginity. There's nothing wrong with it at all.
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A
male
reader, Capri2  +, writes (17 February 2011):
If you are so sure about God and your beliefs, why do you mind what your friends think about this? You and your girlfriend agree with that. It's nobody else's business.
If you get too many replies here telling you that being a virgin is bad. Will you have sex before marrying?
I'm agnostic, but you seem a little unsure about your religion. If not, you wouldn't be asking this question here.
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A
male
reader, Advice_man +, writes (17 February 2011):
 Well done my friend for being man enough to stick to your values and for what you believe is right! Well done! Don't give up and don't listen to your friends. Best wishes.
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A
female
reader, viccra78 +, writes (17 February 2011):
Absolutely it is NOT a bad thing. I applaud you for your beliefs. It really isn't anyones business if you do or don't have sex before marriage and don't let anybody make you feel bad or guilty for what you believe in!
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (17 February 2011): I think it is great. I wish I would of been able to be that strong myself.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (17 February 2011): It's not bad - its part of your faith and that's your decision. As someone that doesn't have faith, the reason I didn't do as you have done is because it is important to have sexual compatibility with a person as well as other kinds of compatibility. Sex is a big part of a happy marriage and for me I find it reckless to commit yourself to someone who you have no idea if you're going to get on with in that way. It's like marrying someone who you've never had a conversation with, or never seen when they're upset. It's a big gamble I think. But lots of people do it, and have done it throughout the centuries, so I don't think anyone should judge you on it.
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