A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:My boyfriend and I have been going out for 14 months. We are both 17. Our relationship has been very good. We love spending time together and have lots of fun. We rarely have disagreements, but when we do, we are able to talk things over rationally. Our major source of conflict seems to be the pressure he is receiving from his friends to be single (none of them have girlfriends). Consequently, they like to convince him that I am too controlling. I am a very busy person, have kept all my usual activities and sports, hang out with my friends, get great grades...so basically I do not wait around for him to be with me all the time. I have no problem with him doing things with his friends, but if I text him (only once) when I know he is with his friends, they interpret this to mean I am controlling him when really I just do it so when he does eventually see my text message, it makes him smile.Anyway, recently he told me he wanted to break up with me, that he still loved me so much and wanted to be close friends. I hadn't seen this coming. I was devastated. 24 hours later we had a long conversation, so I could understand why he wanted to break up with me. We had a good conversation and cleared the air on a number of issues both of us had been facing. Then he started crying and told me he still loved me and that he had been so stupid and hadn't realized how special our relationship was and really wanted to be together and would do anything to make it up to me.I want to believe in him again and love him very much. We are both young and I want to think that this wasn't really a "break up" but rather a bump that wasn't handled too well because we are so young, but for 24 hours my heart had been broken and I feel vulnerable.Should I trust my boyfriend?
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male
reader, idoneitagain  +, writes (17 February 2011):
Everyone makes mistakes. Its what we do after we realise we have made a mistake that counts. He will have learned from this, as will you. You are both young, but it sounds like you both love each other. I would give him the chance to show you that he really did make a mistake, and that he has learned from it, and will learn how to stand up for his relationship with you in the face of the pressure from his friends. Only time will tell, but he sounds like he is worth giving that time to.
Also, I think your insight and understanding into your relationship and what is going on is very clear and shows a lot of wisdom. You can trust your own thoughts and feelings on the matter to come to the decision that is best for you.
Good luck.
A
female
reader, Lost in the clouds  +, writes (17 February 2011):
If his friends have a hold on him that much that he would leave the woman he loves, well then expect it to happend again or worse he will lie n cheat, it happend to me for four years and i always hoped he would change, he didnt.
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A
male
reader, Capri2  +, writes (16 February 2011):
I guess you can trust him, because it isn't a trust issue. He needs to grow up, ASAP. Leaving your girlfriend because your friends tell you so is for people under 16. Anyway, not everybody grow up at the same time. I guess you may have another conversations and then you can give him another chance. But let him know that he needs to be more mature.
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A
female
reader, altered +, writes (16 February 2011):
Sure all is well now that you both had that heart to heart. But what about the next time his "friends" pressure him? Is he going to be strong enough to stick to his guns? What if they really put the pressure on him heavily? What then? Will he cave?
The only thing you can do at this point is take it slow and let him prove to you that he truly did make a mistake.
Your heart will know the answer soon enough.
Good luck.
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