Like what
she writes?
... Add *o_Very_Confused to your favourite agony aunts
Want to get in touch?
... Send *o_Very_Confused a private message | | *o_Very_Confused's Ratings | |
| | *o_Very_Confused's profile:I've got the life experience to be wise for others, not so wise for myself. A degree in psych doesn't hurt either. So when I respond to people while I may just give advice, I'm more inclined to ask you questions that make you think and make you HURT and figure out what to do....
Choices I make are made on years of experience and may not be the best choices for YOU but what I do and what I advise may be two different things. Like I've said I KNOW what's the BEST thing to do and do not always choose to do what's BEST for me.
My primary interests include age gap relationships where the woman is older than the man... I am 13 years older than my future husband... I am also currently very interested in 12 step programs and addiction and recovery
and Long distance relationships...
I also understand alternative lifestyles as I was a "swinger" in my last marriage and I am a bisexual woman although currently I am just with my one male partner by choice...
NEVER STAY WHERE YOU ARE UNHAPPY NO MATTER WHAT. DO not make the same mistakes I made.
Rules:
IF YOU HAVE AN UNEASY FEELING IT'S FOR A GOOD REASON.. listen to that little voice
NEVER EVER trust a liar. IF they lied once, they could lie again. IF you dont' trust them there's a reason for it. LISTEN to it.
IF you have to ASK if you should leave... just do it.
We don't know WHY someone did something... only why WE would do it... so you have to ASK THEM.
IF you are afraid to ASK your PARTNER anything.. it's not a good relationship and you should probably end it.
IF he only calls when he's horny at 2 am you are a booty call nothing more....
Old cliches:
Women need a reason to have sex; men just need a place
Do as I say not as I do |
|
| Latest articles: How to get many answers to your question.
This question has 7 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
25 November 2012: So many times folks submit good questions but, get few answers. It's very frustrating to have an important topic you need advice on and not be able to get it. While talking with friends is easy to get to what you need, asking in written form can...
Am I Co-Dependent?
No replies yet... 24 October 2012: So often folks will ask "am I co-dependent" or will label someone "co-dependent" There was a period of time that it was the "popular" diagnosis of mental health disorders. I often wondered if I myself was co-dependent. I read many books ...
Is my Long Distance Relationship worth it?
This question has 2 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
6 December 2011: Being in a relationship where you have regular face to face contact is difficult enough. Being in a Long Distance Relationship (LDR) is more difficult. Local Relationships (LRs) require a few things; Honesty, Trust, Commitment, and ...
How you can tell someone loves you
This question has 3 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
23 November 2011: So many times we see folks here saying "I know he loves me he tells me he does all the time" “But” I want to scream, “but how does he SHOW you he loves you” because I learned that WORDS without ACTIONS are meaningless. A partner that says “I lo...
Who is a Natural flirt? And what qualities signify a Natural Flirt?
This question has 24 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
30 September 2011: Today as I was leaving work and walking to my car, I passed, going in the opposite direction a co-worker who I *barely* know who was walking with another man. He is a tall, attractive man with an engaging smile and bright eyes. He's 10-15-maybe 20 ...
|
He said I'm loose down there and now I'm really worried!
Q. Hey please help me... Ive recently lost my viginity (on holiday with my bf this week) and he is larger than normal. At first he said i was loose however i explained that i have been very experiemental in my past. however after 3 days of sex he...
A. 23 August 2011: he sounds like an idiot... he's trying to sound like he knows what he speaks of but he just sounds like a fool
I'm 51. I've had two kids and multiple partners some VERY large.. my BF is on the small side of average and sometimes he complains I'... (read in full...)
Boyfriend says I'm not loud enough during sex
Q. My boyfriend and I have really good sex but he still asks me if I'm enjoying it. I know it's good that he wants to make sure I feel good but it's his reasoning that gets me. He says he's not sure because I'm not loud enough. I moan like the whole ...
A. 23 August 2011: he's watching too much porn.
you need to be true to yourself and tell him "if you don't like the way I make love you can leave me and find someone that fits your needs better"
... (read in full...)
Tricked by a man - again!
Q. What is going on with me ? I have just been totally tricked yet again.I have had my fair share of life lessons regarding relationships but seem more naive than I have ever been. I met a guy who I thought really liked me .he seemed so genuine and we ...
A. 23 August 2011: DO NOT sleep with him. if you really like him DO NOT SLEEP WITH HIM... he may get angry because he probably just wants sex.
please be prepared for disapointment... (read in full...)
He said I'm loose down there and now I'm really worried!
Q. Hey please help me... Ive recently lost my viginity (on holiday with my bf this week) and he is larger than normal. At first he said i was loose however i explained that i have been very experiemental in my past. however after 3 days of sex he...
A. 23 August 2011: he's full of crap!... (read in full...)
What does it mean when an older man tells you to get a boyfriend your age?
Q. An older man I was very fond of (and who also liked me very much)suggested I should find myself a boyfriend my age. Does this mean he doesn't like me anymore or just that he cannot handle me? How do I put him behind me if he appears in my mind every ...
A. 23 August 2011: it means he does not want a relationship with you on a romantic level... (read in full...)
Anyone understand the reasoning behind making high schoolers wake up so early?
Q. This really isn't a good dear cupid question but i have no where else to ask this. Does anyone know why they make high school students wake up so early as opposed to middle schoolers and elementary school students? In my school district, th...
A. 23 August 2011: so high schoolers can have jobs after school or team practice or be available to get the little kids because mom and or dad are at work....
BTW you could pack your bag, lay out your clothes and prep everything possible the night before. ... (read in full...)
Why does my boyfriend have to tell me that he finds other women attractive?
Q. Can anyone explain why my boyfriend has to tell me when he see's an attractive girl? When we are out together he will say things like "She is an attractive girl", or sometimes he just continues to stare at a girl we are passing by. Please can ...
A. 22 August 2011: I've had to tell my boyfriend that I don't mind him pointing out pretty girls but I do mind it on DATE NIGHT... we had to compromise. He likes to look.. and I've told him "I don't mind where you get your appetite as long as you only eat at ... (read in full...)
Is it wrong to have a relationship with a much older man?
Q. An older man contacted me. He is older by a lot but likes me and wants to have a relationship. I like him but he is old! and i am waaaay younger. He wants me sexually but is it wrong to like someone with a 50 year difference? Is something wrong with ...
A. 22 August 2011: If you have to ask then it's wrong.
he contacted you? how did he find you?
he only wants sex? why is this even an option for you?
umm there is NOTHING wrong with AGE GAP relationships as long as they are based on mutual love, respect and... (read in full...)
He never wants kisses and affection - just sex
Q. I've been dating this guy for about six months. He never wants to kiss (And I am xtra fresh with my breathe, so it's not that), hardly wants to hug but wants sex. He never take me out and the one time he did, I nearly had to beg for it. I keep ...
A. 21 August 2011: he does not care about you. he cares about sex with you...
old song: 'If you wanna know if he loves you so it's in his kiss"
kissing is intimate. sex is not.
I'm sorry he's not interested in a real relationship with you just sex.... (read in full...)
Guys - which is best - your woman or porn?
Q. A question for the straight guys: If your girlfriend/wife gave you the ultimatum to choose between her and porn, which would you choose? Regardless of her reason, would you choose her if you knew that you would never be allowed to look at porn...
A. 21 August 2011: anyone who makes someone makes a decision ME OR THEM, ME OR IT.. ME OR... WHATEVER should lose.
they are two different things... I would never ask my guy to give up his occasional porn
if he did it to the exclusion of our relationship and... (read in full...)
I'm disabled, how can I get more money when I can't work?
Q. Okay I know this is mostly a love related site but i know there are great people on here who can answer my question... Okay im 19 and I was born disabled and since I was born disabled I've never been able to work. SSI gives me $620 a month bec...
A. 20 August 2011: SSI (which btw is NOT based on your work history but is based on your NEED) has a work program... as stated "Ticket to WORK" is a great program. You should see if you can get assistance there to find a job. I work for SSA and we have so many ... (read in full...)
I'm 22, she's 15 is it best to stop before things get started?
Q. I started talking to this girl recently, she seemed really nice, really pretty. Then one day we find out how old each other is, she thought I was 17, I'm 22, and I thought she was 18, the girl is 15. Nothing has happened for it to be a legal matte...
A. 20 August 2011: I would wait till she is 18....... (read in full...)
Did I say the wrong thing and break this up? Or is his reaction the problem?
Q. i met this guy on plenty of fish coming up to a year in september we havent met yet but we do talk all the time via txt or phone, We have been meaning to meet but for various reasons, different jobs and place we live, it never seem to happen, ...
A. 20 August 2011: he over reacted because he LIED either he is or he is not having sex with someone else.
not meeting someone for a YEAR when you have the chance says he's just playing.
move on.... (read in full...)
Long Distance has affected our relationship. Is a temporary separation the way to go?
Q. My girlfriend and I have been dating for over 2 years now. Last year I went to college and she stayed back home in high school which was very tough, but we managed to get through it. Right now we are both getting ready to go to college, but we have...
A. 20 August 2011: I think that taking a break while you are both away at different colleges sounds like a great idea. Sadly very few young romances last long enough to be lifetime commitments... ... (read in full...)
What would be the best way to ask her out?
Q. i am in love with this girl. i am 38 years old and she is 24 years old. she does not know how i really feel about her. we have a few things in common. how would be the best way for me to ask her out? ...
A. 19 August 2011: Are you friends or is this a mad crush where you gaze from afar and will be seen as a stalker if you talk to her?
If you are already friends then just ask her.
When I turned 38 my boyfriend was 24.... we are a bit more than 13 years apart... I... (read in full...)
I want a baby but my dad would be really angry with me
Q. I need some advice. Im an 18 year old women and although i know its still quite young me and my boyfriend of 14 months are so desperate for a family. I would love to have a baby i know how difficult it would be but im sure we would cope. He has a 2 ...
A. 19 August 2011: If you worry that your dad will be angry then you are too young to be having a baby... (read in full...)
What are the chances of this working out even if we both try our best? Should I even try?
Q. I was living with my boyfriend for 18 months. We had a good, loving relationship and enjoyed each other’s company. He left because his child from previous marriage changed schools and the ex who had remarried and was pregnant again told him the ...
A. 18 August 2011: LDRs are hard without an end in sight..
8 hours away is a lot...
It's actually a good thing his kid is so important to him.. is shows what a stand up man he is.
Moving is horrid. my bf is leaving his whole life and probably his job to... (read in full...)
Guys: Are you more or less attracted to a girl when you've seen her without makeup?
Q. guys, are you more attracted to a girl after seeing her without makeup? perhaps less? I'm just curious to know what guys think on this topic. ...
A. 18 August 2011: I feel prettier with makeup on. My BF given a choice of my doing my hair or my makeup prefers that I do my hair. I always thought it would be make up.. I was pretty surprised.... (read in full...)
I don't get hit on! Is it because I'm a redhead?
Q. Hi guy, just a question thats been troubling me for sometime now. I hardly get hit on by the opposite sex. I was wondering if its to do with the fact that im a redhead and have a lot of small freckles on my face and body?. After seeing comments...
A. 18 August 2011: It's not your hair or your freckles.. it's the "don't bother me vibe" you send out subconsciously...... (read in full...)
Should I remain single and party or settle down?
Q. I'm almost 20 and I've never been in a relationship mainly because I'm attracted to much older men (teachers, etc.) But I've recently fallen for someone my age and he's really mature and I think he's the one (he's my close friend and doesn't know ...
A. 17 August 2011: Well Caring guy said it way better than I ever could but to be honest if you feel it has to be a choice between one or the other... err on the side of caution and go for the college life...... (read in full...)
Why do people think its okay to berate women who sleep with married men?
Q. I'm so fed up reading people taking the moral high ground on every topic, especially that of married cheats and 'home wreckers' There is so much contraversy surrounding cheating at the moment on this site and I would like to express my views as...
A. 17 August 2011: As a spouse that was in an open marriage that caused the ruin of a marriage I am going to comment. While I was NOT cheating my behavior had I not been open and honest about what I was doing WOULD have been an affair and cheating... and it did cause ... (read in full...)
My BF seemed to forget my hospital appointment. Am I being over sensitive, or does he not really care?
Q. Dear all, Please can you tell me if I am over analyzing or reading into this. I have been with my BF for around coming up to six months now. I told him over the weekend, I have an important hospital appointment on tuesday. I saw him on the sunda...
A. 17 August 2011: Yeah I hear you... My BF and I have talked about how we never would have made it had I not had something to distract me from him in the beginning (i.e. trying to save my marriage) but being a couple of hours apart by car and having minimal contact ... (read in full...)
My wife is having an emotional affair and I can't stop her
Q. Hi guys. I am hoping somebody can help me. I am at the end of my rope. My wife has been having an emotional affair with a married man whose children go to the same school as ours. It has been going on for a year and she is very deeply involved....
A. 17 August 2011: OUCHIES. an emotional affair in my book is ten times worse than a physical affair.
the fact that she's open about it and not stopping it when you've asked her to stop tells you a lot. it's how my last marriage ended. my husband wanted m... (read in full...)
I am virgin, but do not fit the description of most virgins.
Q. Hi, I'm 18 years old, male, and still a virgin. With my ex-gf of 2.5 years, all we did was have oral sex countless times, almost every time we hung out. We never had sex because she didn't want too for some reason. But this isn't the problem. The ...
A. 17 August 2011: when folks ask if you are a virgin you say "why do you want to know?"
truthfully it's NONE of their business...... (read in full...)
My BF seemed to forget my hospital appointment. Am I being over sensitive, or does he not really care?
Q. Dear all, Please can you tell me if I am over analyzing or reading into this. I have been with my BF for around coming up to six months now. I told him over the weekend, I have an important hospital appointment on tuesday. I saw him on the sunda...
A. 17 August 2011: WHY you feel like you do does not matter... it's how you are. You can FEEL any way you like but is it a valid way to feel? who knows.... it is what it is.
IF you need a man who is more attentive to you than your BF is, then you may want to ... (read in full...)
Fed up of being treated like an idiot.....
Q. I wake up in the morning angry and upset. Not so long ago I had 3 jobs, on top of the 3 jobs I would also do literally everything in the house, including cooking, cleaning, washing, tidying up etc on behalf of my partner. Once he gets back from ...
A. 17 August 2011: if you are waking up sick and angry it's your cue that it's time to leave.
you can tell him "I need A.B. and C. from you staring on mm/dd/yy and if you can't provide this help then I am going to have to leave" WHEN he does not do it (and he ... (read in full...)
Heartbroken father of three loves his wife with all his heart, but.....
Q. My wife sent extremely sexually suggestive photos of herself to a guy that she had a sexual relationship with just before we started dating. We had been together for nine years when she did this. It was a part of some extremely sexually suggestive ...
A. 17 August 2011: IF she needs to scratch this itch you have to let her go. Fighting her on it will just make it worse. You don't trust her. I'm sorry but there is NO relationship if there is no trust. I did not trust my ex husband and I never ever could get past ... (read in full...)
Does physical appearance matter much to girls?
Q. Hey guys, this is mainly for teenagers but I would like to hear what others have to say about it too. Does physical appearance matter much to girls, by appearance I mean like muscle or height. Also ive talked with tons of girls that say penis size ...
A. 17 August 2011: I like well groomed neatly dressed men. Height.. over 5'8 please.. muscles... not so much but a nice set of shoulders does me in...
as for a penis.. average works for me but I'm TINY and anything too big HURTS... truth be told.. for ME i prefer... (read in full...)
Am I too controlling?
Q. My boyfriend says im controlling. We both have very different views on the world and the way to act in a relationship. He told me he cheated on me in the first year and i said id forgive him because i knew he was in a bad place and had just broken ...
A. 17 August 2011: I totally agree with YouWish...
also unless you KNOW you are being unreasonable... trust your instincts.. IF you think he's cheating and you get any sort of proof... he is. probably.... (read in full...)
Texting a guy who already has a girlfriend.....is this wrong?
Q. I know this may seem obvious and I'm sure most of you will right away say it is wrong and I shouldnt be texting him, but let me give you the full story and please reserve your judgement until then! I met a guy on Saturday night whilst out with ...
A. 17 August 2011: I see no problem with is but i suggest you also manage to befriend his GF as much as possible so that she does not view you as a threat.... (read in full...)
My BF seemed to forget my hospital appointment. Am I being over sensitive, or does he not really care?
Q. Dear all, Please can you tell me if I am over analyzing or reading into this. I have been with my BF for around coming up to six months now. I told him over the weekend, I have an important hospital appointment on tuesday. I saw him on the sunda...
A. 17 August 2011: I forget stuff all the time... appointments, things I'm told, to mail an important letter... all done recently... it's the way I am.. it's my ADHD brain (not) at work.
I think you are being a bit overly sensitive about this. It means he forgot i... (read in full...)
What do girls think of guys who offer to buy them drinks?
Q. Ok this isnt really a relationship question but it is related to boy-girl stuff. A friend of mine told me the other night that he has never bought a girl a drink--he says that its basically like prostitution, paying a girl to like you. This struck ...
A. 17 August 2011: I don't think it's like prostitution at all... it's a nice thing to offer if she does not wish to accept she can decline. As an older lady I used to like it when men purchased drinks for me as long as there were not strings attached (i.e they ... (read in full...)
He spent more money on his ex than he does with me, did he love her more?
Q. did my partner spend more money on his ex because he loved her more? He was with her for a short time but furnished her house and paid her rent, got her a car and paid for her boob job. With me, he is not like that. ...
A. 17 August 2011: Money does not always equal love... Like Eyeswideopen said maybe he learned his lesson....
what things does he do for you that makes you think he does love you?... (read in full...)
Does he want to come back?
Q. My husband cheated ...I forgave him not completely..I think he never forgave himself....but went back online and started a relationship on facebook with another woman...now he slowly trying to get back into my life...everyone hates what he did to me ...
A. 16 August 2011: While I've never gotten back with an ex that treated me so disrespectfully I hope you can help those who have done so to answer you better by answering a few questions:
1. do you want him back? and if so why?
2. if you don't want him back ... (read in full...)
His partner died 9 years ago, is it still healthy that he's grieving over him?
Q. Hi I am in a relationship with a guy for the last two years and we live together for the last 6 months, my partner had a partner who died 9 years ago and they were together for 18 years and were very happy My partner is very close with his partner...
A. 16 August 2011: As the child of a deceased woman I can feel your pain... My father loved my mother with a passion that will never be replaced. She died in his arms and he still mourns her loss every year at her death and the anniversary of her birth (as is our ... (read in full...)
Do I ask him the hard questions or do I wait?
Q. I've been seeing my boyfriend for almost a year. I know he cares for me. I've seen his reactions (concern and almost fear of losing me) when he thinks I'm upset about something. He said he loves me (once)and I believe it. After a recent ...
A. 16 August 2011: I would not ask him how he thinks he shows he cares. I would TELL him what YOU NEED to know he cares... It's hard. and it's a fine line. What do YOU need to know he cares... food, shelter, money, attention???
How do I know my man cares? ... (read in full...)
What kind of immature cop-out is the "the chase"?
Q. Why can't guys have honest, loving relationships? Are they not man enough to have them? If I care for a guy, why do I have to play coy and hard to get for his attention? Mind-games are disrespectful and hurtful. If he doesn't want the comfort, ...
A. 16 August 2011: My last marriage ENDED because he liked (and needed) the attention he got from other women... some men are so insecure with themselves that they need that constant ego boost from multiple women...... (read in full...)
What kind of immature cop-out is the "the chase"?
Q. Why can't guys have honest, loving relationships? Are they not man enough to have them? If I care for a guy, why do I have to play coy and hard to get for his attention? Mind-games are disrespectful and hurtful. If he doesn't want the comfort, ...
A. 16 August 2011: you are not wrong for you. OR me. to be honest I never play games I'm always just me. the man that wants me wants ME for me and who I am.... (read in full...)
Would you pursue a forbidden relationship just because he is your astrological match?
Q. Do you believe that there are people who astrologically are meant to meet each other? (not necessarily stick together forever) You might find astrology silly, but it shows that there are people who will eventually find each other, no matter the ...
A. 16 August 2011: you let it go... there are other Aries in the sea.... (read in full...)
I think I got involved with a liar, maybe even worse
Q. In June of this year, I met a man on craigslist. I answered his ad, and now I am kicking myself. This person claims to live in another state, but posted in ad in the city where I live, hoping that the woman he found would eventually move to where he ...
A. 16 August 2011: Sounds married to me since he's not available after 5...... (read in full...)
Why do people cheat? why be unfaithful? what's the payoff to be the "other woman"?
Q. I have a question for all the unfaithful and the homewreckers. Why did you cheat!?!? Or help someone cheat!?!? I see so many questions about cheating..and they're the cheaters!! Doesn't anyone know cheating is wrong? And the only acceptab...
A. 16 August 2011: I agree that emotional cheating is way more hurtful than physical cheating....
... (read in full...)
Do I ask him the hard questions or do I wait?
Q. I've been seeing my boyfriend for almost a year. I know he cares for me. I've seen his reactions (concern and almost fear of losing me) when he thinks I'm upset about something. He said he loves me (once)and I believe it. After a recent ...
A. 15 August 2011: My BF cannot CANNOT say I love you... he once said "I love you too" to me but I had not said "I love you"... I KNOW he loves me. He's told me I'm his number one no matter what.. he SHOWS me he loves me. I've told him I need to hear it now and ... (read in full...)
| *o_Very_Confused's friends
These are mutual friends, so *o_Very_Confused has
added them and they have added *o_Very_Confused!
|
