How do I deal with his mind games?
Q. Hi guys, I've recently ended my 7 year marriage due to my husband being emotionally abusive towards me (constantly asking me where I've been, who I've been with, telling me how I should feel, gaslighting me, not letting me go to sleep until I've...
A. 15 May 2019: Honestly?
I think you are trying to do the best thing for your son, however... I don't think it's the BEST for you.
I would suggest that you CUT down the time you spend with or around your soon-to-be-ex as much as possible.
Don't do the we... (read in full...)
Does this mean he is into me?
Q. Hello and thank you A bit of background. I knew this persons brother and his brother passed away recently. It was a difficult time for both of us. We talked alot . Lately hes been asking so many questions. Also, saying in a caring , underst...
A. 14 May 2019: Maybe what he really wants is to be close to someone who also knew his brother.
Maybe just take your time getting to know this person without any "ulterior" motives such as dating.... (read in full...)
Does anyone here have any experience in dealing with a gambler?
Q. I could do with some advice, preferably from people who have experience with gambling issues or with a partner (current or ex) who has or had a gambling problem. A few years ago I reconnected with my first love from high school. We began a relat...
A. 14 May 2019: I think your best bet (pun not intended) would be to contact a gamblers anonymous for family/friends support site and get help..
http://www.gamblersanonymous.org/ga/content/gam-anon-help-family-friends
However, what you MIGHT also want to con... (read in full...)
How do I deal with an old, terminally ill dog who's pooping all around the house?
Q. Sorry if this is not the typical question for this site but I need advice. I have an 11 year old dog. I have had him since 8 weeks old. Recently he's been falling over a lot on walks and not picking his feet up properly so his nails would bleed. ...
A. 14 May 2019: You have to consider if he is having a good life or not.
While you can get diapers/nappies the most important thing (for me at least) is quality of life. It is NOT easy to put down a beloved pet, I know. But there are times where it IS the righ... (read in full...)
My husband takes very little interest in my life and I feel deeply unhappy unloved and lonely in my marriage
Q. My husband takes very little interest in my life . I’ve noticed that although I enquire about his day and things in his life he rarely asks about mine . If I have an appointment he will rarely remember . Today is a perfect example . He was going to ...
A. 14 May 2019: Is it normal?
I don't think it's normal per se, but I do think this can happen when couples kind of stop talking about what's important and stop investing in the marriage.
I think you should TALK to him. Tell him how you feel, maybe he will op... (read in full...)
My husband wants "space", is shutting down all communication with me, is cold, rude and distant and spends a lot of time with people at work.
Q. For the past few months, my husband has been spending more and more time hanging out with his colleagues and bosses (male) late at night. Work has been getting busier and he's trying really hard to impress his bosses, as he was placed in charge on a ...
A. 14 May 2019: I don't know what the "toxic masculinity spectrum" is all about, so I will just go by WHAT I would do in your shoes.
He wants space, why?
Because I think he isn't sure that marriage is WHAT he wants right now. I think he looks at his boss and ... (read in full...)
Did I lose a friend? I'm feeling sad and hurt
Q. I know this is long, but I hope someone takes the time, I really need some advise. I am a 48 year old single mom. I work a lot and don’t have much of a social life, but I do have a few good friends and I get out when I can. Since one of my children ...
A. 14 May 2019: I am sorry, but I think it's a good thing this "friendship" is winding down.
If he KNOWS that he comes across demanding and demeaning over text, he ought to just TAKE a little more care of what he types. THAT isn't hard to do.
And I also th... (read in full...)
Does my girlfriend deserve a second chance because she didn't 'go all the way'?
Q. I can’t forgive my girlfriend for cheating on me even though she didn’t ‘go all the way’ with the other guy. I’ve told her what she did was unforgivable but my friends and family all think she deserves a second chance and that I’m being too harsh on ...
A. 13 May 2019: Edit...
I wrote: I get that SHE is a BAD person...
SHOULD of course have been...
I get that SHE isn't a BAD person...... (read in full...)
When should I make my relationship public?
Q. Hi, Asking for some advice not to hurt anyone’s feelings. I’ve been single two years and started dating again around a year ago, a lovely lovely guy who I unfortunately just wasn’t attracted to. We got on amazingly and maybe that’s why it cont...
A. 13 May 2019: I agree, whenever YOU are ready to tell the World.
If you think this could HURT the ex, maybe you need to take him off your social media. Or maybe knowing that you have moved on will help HIM move on.
You can live your life walking on eggsh... (read in full...)
It's embarrassing to think I may have scared the younger guy off for good. Did I?
Q. Hi - I was tutoring this guy - a young adult, his exams are coming up soon. We both got on well - in fact - a little too well at times. We both would catch each other glancing at each other, were often laughing and joking or he would blush sometime...
A. 13 May 2019: I think he decided to do the right thing. He was there to learn/study for upcoming tests not to play footsy or flirt with the tutor. Maybe it was a little uncomfortable for him?
YOU really need to get a grip if you want to tutor people. You are ... (read in full...)
I have feelings for the old flame who's come back into my life but I have a really great boyfriend now. What do I do?
Q. I’ve been dating a guy for the last 6 months and things have been going reasonably well between us. He is a really great guy and he is really good to me. He is thoughtful, supportive and everyone I know thinks he is really great. I really like him ...
A. 13 May 2019: I think you need to shit or get off the pot, OP
You are ALREADY back in contact with the "old flame" and OH SO excited about it. Which means you aren't really being loyal to your new BF.
The old flame is offering you something your new BF isn'... (read in full...)
Does my girlfriend deserve a second chance because she didn't 'go all the way'?
Q. I can’t forgive my girlfriend for cheating on me even though she didn’t ‘go all the way’ with the other guy. I’ve told her what she did was unforgivable but my friends and family all think she deserves a second chance and that I’m being too harsh on ...
A. 13 May 2019: I think you HAVE to follow your heart in this. Regardless of what family and friends tell you.
I would NOT give someone a second chance if they INSTEAD of owning up to it, denied denied and lied. THAT doesn't sound like someone who is remorsef... (read in full...)
Should I reconnect with an old lesbian teacher?
Q. When I was at school, there was an out teacher. We got on well but I haven't spoken to her since I left, I was 16 then but I haven't seen her since. I felt that we had a good friendship at the time however it has been 5 years since I left. I don't ...
A. 12 May 2019: Just because you two have the same sexual orientation doesn't mean you share anything else in common or that SHE is at all interested.
Why on Earth should you chase her down now? For what purpose?
... (read in full...)
How do you deal with getting older and society treating you like you are invisible?
Q. Just looking for a little advice on how to deal with getting older as anwoman and losing looks and it seems visibility in society . Some seem to say enjoy the invisibility but I find it heartbreaking when I’m basically ignored say in a store for a ...
A. 12 May 2019: Maybe I just see this differently.
I ENJOY the "anonymity" of being "no longer" young. I don't feel like I'm treated badly or really ignored. But I am LEFT to my own devices way more, which I enjoy. I have ALWAYS found it annoying when people i... (read in full...)
I try to be understanding but am I being a fool here?
Q. Last August I matched with a guy on Tinder. I’ve been legally separated and this was my first venture into online dating. My ex is a narcissist, so it’s taken me awhile to work on my self esteem and confidence enough to put myself back out there. ...
A. 12 May 2019: OP, your ENTIRE post is very contradictory.
You say that you didn't WANT anything serious, to quote you :" I honestly didn’t/don’t want anything serious until my divorce is finalized."
But then you have the EXPECTATIONS of him telling you thin... (read in full...)
Just found out he cheated the entire relationship. Should I give him chance?
Q. I have been dating my current boyfriend for 3 years now. Our families have meshed and we've gone on many trips together, have gone through many experiences and have even told each other I love you half a year into our relationship. He lives on...
A. 12 May 2019: He might care for you, but HE definitely LOVE himself and his "freedom" more.
What is there to redeem? This wasn't a ONE-TIME drunken mistake or "things aren't going well so he reached out to an ex or whatnot".... this is a DELIBERATE choice h... (read in full...)
Would he date me or does he want me to be his sex buddy?
Q. I'm going to try not to be biased... I've been speaking to this man once or twice a month online for the last 18months. We planned to meet up a few times but have both flaked on eachother many times. In the past he said he's single because h...
A. 12 May 2019: Honestly?
Neither of you seem to REALLY want to take - I mean if all you two have managed is 3 "sorta" dates in 18 months I have to say that I don't think he is LOOKING to date you. Sure, he might want to have sex because... why not?
But he ... (read in full...)
He hasn’t told a soul about his relationship with me and it bothers me. It’s all about respect, or is it?
Q. I’ve been seeing this guy for about 9 months off and on. We’ve hooked up a few times. I don’t want anything serious because I’m going through a divorce (been legally separated for 2 years). Anyway, I’d kind of describe our relationship as slightly ...
A. 12 May 2019: You know, at your age... what is the point in a "slightly more than FWB"?
Either you WANT a relationship or you want some casual. You have hooked up a couple of times over 9 months that HARDLY makes it a FWB or more. So WHAT is that you think he... (read in full...)
He says he loves me but has a girlfriend. How do I get her out of the picture?
Q. I’ve been dating a friend that I have known for over 30 years. Only thing is that he has a girlfriend. He has been with her since August 2016. My husband passed away in 2017 early and he has been there for me. We started seeing each other in Late ...
A. 11 May 2019: So basically you didn't come on DC to get advice, you came on DC to HEAR that what you are doing is OH SO OK and that of course he should drop his GF for you.
Get a grip.
If you think it's OK to go after a guy who has a GF, then why bother ... (read in full...)
I ended the affair but the man I was involved with is blackmailing me into talking to him threatening me that he'll tell my husband
Q. I’m a married woman but was going through a really bad patch with my husband and I started to get depression... while I was going through that I started chatting to a man online... we met and started an affair.... he knew I was married.... anyway he ...
A. 10 May 2019: Oh so now he is a stalker?
YOU chose to get involved with him. You also chose to re-start communications.
You can call his bluff and just block him.
But I say tell your husband because NO matter WHAT you do, this guy has you by the short... (read in full...)
Break up - No contact method or turn up at his house to get him back?
Q. I've been seeing this guy for 4 months and officially been his girlfriend for 2 of those months. In a moment of stupidity and because I let my overthinking get the best of me I tweeted "I'm single". I would have never acted on those words and I even ...
A. 10 May 2019: So did YOU even WANT him back after a year?
I hope you have moved on and can leave him firmly in the past.
... (read in full...)
When he wants to initiate sex, I'm never in the mood. Is there something wrong with me?
Q. I've been with my boyfriend 3 1/2 years and I feel like we have a normal sex life. We have sex at least once a week, sometimes more if we're not busy and stressed and so on. But the other night we were watching tv together and he started trying to ...
A. 10 May 2019: Well, I have to agree with your BF, it's unfair.
But it's also understandable that you can't switch to "ON" mode just because HE can.
My advice would be talk it through.
Is it the WAY he tries to initiate that makes you shut down?
For in... (read in full...)
I ended the affair but the man I was involved with is blackmailing me into talking to him threatening me that he'll tell my husband
Q. I’m a married woman but was going through a really bad patch with my husband and I started to get depression... while I was going through that I started chatting to a man online... we met and started an affair.... he knew I was married.... anyway he ...
A. 10 May 2019: Why not have the RESPECT for your husband and tell him?
And CUT all contact with the other man?
You made a really bad choice is adding another person to the marriage instead of talking to your HUSBAND and working on fixing what didn't work... (read in full...)
My bf and I had a rough patch but weren't broken up. He started talking to someone else and now I'm upset
Q. My bf and I have had a rocky few months. We've come close to breaking up a few times but we love each other. During this time, I found out he started talking to another woman. My guess is he was hoping to get together with her. He said he still ...
A. 10 May 2019: You REALLY should have this conversation with HIM. We can only guess WHY he is doing this.
Could be he felt lonely, unfulfilled or that it was an act of "rebellion" or simply purely selfish to FEEL good.
Is he still talking to her? If so, that... (read in full...)
He says he loves me but has a girlfriend. How do I get her out of the picture?
Q. I’ve been dating a friend that I have known for over 30 years. Only thing is that he has a girlfriend. He has been with her since August 2016. My husband passed away in 2017 early and he has been there for me. We started seeing each other in Late ...
A. 10 May 2019: What is so confusing?
Yes, he probably liks you a good deal, BUT not enough to end his relationship and start one with you. He has had AMBLE time to end it with her and he CHOOSES not you.
YOU made a HUGE mistake in starting ANYTHING up with... (read in full...)
My step children's mother is still creating problems
Q. Hello - just wanted to know whether we are being selfish. I have a child who is 2 and 2 stepchildren who are gorgeous. My husband had to go to court to see the children and we have a very unreasonable ex. The children aren’t allowed to see a...
A. 10 May 2019: OK This NEEDS to be handled by your husband AND a solicitor. YOU need to STAY out of it (at least from what the mother can see/hear).
If she doesn't KEEP the visitations and make ridiculous "rules" for what they can participate in, YOUR HUSBAND ... (read in full...)
I like him, his friend likes me and indicates to him that I prefer the friend.
Q. I met him at his place of work and boom, big time crush. He feels the same way too. We were still in the initial stages of attraction.. Not talking too much.. Just staring at each other. Then his house mate who is always around just out smarted him ...
A. 9 May 2019: Yes, I think so.
Honestly, trying to date a coworker is rarely a good move. Trying to use his room mate to get closer to him, not a great move either. It makes you seem opportunistic, if I may be honest. How is the #2 guy supposed to know that you... (read in full...)
Is my FWB starting to get feelings for me?
Q. My friend with benefits knows i like him more than what we have we talked about things a while back he said he doesnt feel the same way but at the weekend we did a lot more than usual and he made a point of wanting to hold my hand and wanted to keep ...
A. 9 May 2019: LISTEN to what he said.
He likes you enough to boink you and hold your hand. But not enough to want to DATE you or BE with you in a relationship.
FWB have an expiration date. And that is WHEN one of the two people develop feelings. You ar... (read in full...)
I've been a mistress for a long time and am starting to get bored with it all.
Q. Hi guys. I've been a mistress for a long time. I can't really talk to people about this. But I'd like to know if it's normal to grow tired of being in a "relationship" which never grows or evolves? I am feeling tired of being a sex toy. Tired of ...
A. 9 May 2019: No one is perfect.
And being a mistress means that in the MORALE and DECENCY department you are definitely NOT perfect.
Being "perfect" won't make him leave his wife.
If you don't like being treated like a sex toy, then WALK away. Date men... (read in full...)
I know I should just walk away .... but I love him.
Q. Hi I wonder if anyone can help me.. So I have been with my boyfriend for just over 3years and also he's an overthinker and recently he was feeling a little depressed. I supported him and was going out of my way to be there all the time .. he was m...
A. 9 May 2019: What is exactly that you LOVE about him?
Him not bothering talking to you, seeing you? CARING for you after your operation?
He sounds like he is a piece of crap of a partner and he also seems like he is DONE with you, but he hasn't exactly d... (read in full...)
Is he backing off to give me space to deal with father's illness or backing away completely?
Q. I met a guy 6 weeks ago and it was a bit of a wonderful whirlwind, he was very keen and just pretty damn perfect from the get go but things are now starting to feel different. About a month before we met my Dad was diagnosed with cancer and things a...
A. 9 May 2019: Could be an excuse.
If he came on hard and then 6 weeks later is backing off... It might be that he is using your dad;s illness as an excuse to walk away but doing in the gentlest way possible that HE can think off.
Or he might KNOW from ... (read in full...)
Why would a married man who I barely know tell me that he's in love with me?
Q. Around 5 years ago, I was selected to attend an academic programme in another country. Upon reaching there, I met a guy from my country who was also a participant and we hit it off. There was nothing even remotely romantic... He was married and I ...
A. 8 May 2019: Because he is bored in his married and a BIT selfish. he didn't tell you for YOUR sake, but for his own. It's pretty much him trying to live out the fantasy he's been building these past 5 years. He was hoping you felt the same.
My advice, ... (read in full...)
Does she deserve to know what happened during the break up?
Q. So my partner of five years broke up with me four months ago. She totally broke my heart but we stayed friends and I knew that she wasn't sure if the break up was the right decision but that she needed time to figure things out. She knew that I ...
A. 8 May 2019: It would be none of her business.
But I would ALSO suggest (if you haven't already) that you ACTUALLY move out and get your own place. You CAN NOT hang on to her and call it "friendship" in hopes that she might possibly take you back.
What wa... (read in full...)
I'm afraid of dogs and now I'm in love with a person who has a dog
Q. I'm 33 years old male and as silly as it might sound, I've been terrified of dogs my whole life. When I was 8 years old I was attacked by pack of dogs and I was bitten so severely I had to spend weeks in hospital. I still have scars and ever since ...
A. 8 May 2019: Nothing wrong about having a fear like that when you have a past of having been attacked!
Tell your new lady friend about your fear and like Aunty BimBim suggest talk to your Doctor and see if you can get a referral to someone who can help you... (read in full...)
My boyfriend just stood and watched while I was struggling rather than help me. Was this mean? Selfish?
Q. I went shopping with my boyfriend and I was struggling to carry the bags so one of the bags fell on the floor and I was struggling to pick it up meanwhile my boyfriend just stood there and watched me struggle. I said thanks for helping me and he ...
A. 8 May 2019: I'm with Auntie Bim Bim.
You two need to STOP thinking that you can communicate with mind-control or by reading each other's minds.
How hard is it to say:" Hey honey grab a bag, please?"
And he acting like a twat in the car home... is also ... (read in full...)
She can’t choose between us two!
Q. I had a girlfriend who we met when she was in a relationship i won her then after few months she dumped me and went back to him,after 9 months she came back stalking me saying im the love of his life and she is still with her boyfriend when i ask ...
A. 7 May 2019: OP, it's this simple.
Don't settle for a women (or in this case GIRL) who jumps from guy to guy. NOT if you are looking for a serious connection or relationship.
If she will DUMP a guy for you, she will DUMP you for another. If she will cheat t... (read in full...)
I’m struggling to balance my feelings for him with my care for my best friend!
Q. Dear Cupid, I am in high school and i am struggling with this person that I have feelings for. We are just friends and lost our close friendship not long after I told him that i had feelings for him thinking it would make me feel more relieved...
A. 7 May 2019: You might WANT to date this guy or go out with him, but he CUT off the friendship because you told him you had feelings.
OP, he doesn't feel the same about you.
JUST because YOU have a crush on someone doesn't mean they feel the same. Which ... (read in full...)
She can’t choose between us two!
Q. I had a girlfriend who we met when she was in a relationship i won her then after few months she dumped me and went back to him,after 9 months she came back stalking me saying im the love of his life and she is still with her boyfriend when i ask ...
A. 7 May 2019: I think your best bet is to tell her that you no longer want any contact and then you block her and cut off all contact.
Otherwise she will go back and forth and back and forth for as long as she can get away with it.
You say you "won her" bu... (read in full...)
I want to hear from you - especially the male ‘aunts’ - if you think he likes me?!?
Q. I'm really confused and need your help. Sorry, buckle in... it's gonna be a bit long but the details are important. I promise. I started University in August, and my major is really small. There's this really shy/quiet guy in my major, so he's e...
A. 7 May 2019: This would be a GREAT story IF HE WAS SINGLE.
He isn't and you know it, but you STILL chase him.
You say you WANT to respect that he has a GF, but you don't respect her. I want to bet if HE was your BF and he was hanging out and having all t... (read in full...)
Is this relationship even worth it?
Q. Hello and thanks So my fiancé and I have been together over two years. He has cheated in the past and I forgave him. Lately our relationship has been strained he has been irritable with me , less affectionate as well. I began t...
A. 7 May 2019: I would say no, it isn't worth it.
People can and do change, IF THEY want to. Not just if their partner/family/friends want them to, and in your fiance's case - HE really didn't WANT to. Which is why he cheated again. Getting married will NOT chan... (read in full...)
Do they really have these outrageous bills in Nigeria?
Q. I have wrote here before. I had some good advice. It was about my Nigerian husband. I mentioned his mood swings , and I’m unable to ask any questions without his temper flaring up. Ai also mentioned his spending ways and his expections that ...
A. 6 May 2019: You are ALWAYS welcome to ask questions. And you know (I bet) that you will get a large variety of answers, so TAKE from them what you can USE, what you find common sense (to you) and see if they can work for you.
I am still curious OP, did I ma... (read in full...)
Do they really have these outrageous bills in Nigeria?
Q. I have wrote here before. I had some good advice. It was about my Nigerian husband. I mentioned his mood swings , and I’m unable to ask any questions without his temper flaring up. Ai also mentioned his spending ways and his expections that ...
A. 2 May 2019: Well, IF you have supported them for over 2 years WHAT has he been doing?
Does he have a job?
If not, then OF COURSE bills are costly!
You have by enabling him to NOT HELP out his family on his own, like HE should - he has become dependen... (read in full...)
Break up - No contact method or turn up at his house to get him back?
Q. I've been seeing this guy for 4 months and officially been his girlfriend for 2 of those months. In a moment of stupidity and because I let my overthinking get the best of me I tweeted "I'm single". I would have never acted on those words and I even ...
A. 2 May 2018: Go no contact.
IF he still harbors ANY good feelings towards you he will contact you... But I think he saw the writing on the wall and decided to end it and cut you off.
If you ALREADY a few months into dating.. starts social media drama for ... (read in full...)
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