Why does my boyfriend have to say hello to every young blonde woman that he sees?
Q. I been with my boyfriend for two years now but every time we are out walking when a young woman passes by he says hello I don't understand this as I don't say hello to random young men or women passing by and it really winds me up. He says he's just ...
A. 15 June 2019: He isn't going to stop.
THAT much is certain, he even told you that.
Yes, I think you are overreacting. But I also think he does needle you on purpose. Because HE knows it bothers you.
DOES it make you FEEL like you are "replaceable" with a... (read in full...)
How do I deal with post-breakup loneliness?
Q. My ex-fiance and I were together for three years. I was very upset and lost shortly after the breakup. However, as soon as I moved out a few days later, I was neutral/happy. The pressure had been lifted and this neutral/lighthearted feeling lasted ...
A. 13 June 2019: How do you put in pants, OP?
ONE leg at a time, right?
SAME with life, take it ONE day at a time.
Finding a hobby is not a bad idea, doesn't mean you have to jump in with both feet and be "consumed" by that hobby.
Journaling is another o... (read in full...)
Why am I always the runner up?
Q. Why am I always runner up? I don't date much - in fact in the last few years I hardly dated at all, but the last three men I was involved with all chose someone else over me. The first went back to his ex, the second chose to date my friend instead ...
A. 13 June 2019: I don't think it's about not being pushy enough, it might come down to two things, luck of the draw and the type of guy you have gone out with.
The first one going back to his ex, was nothing to do with you. He probably kind of KNEW that BEFORE d... (read in full...)
I feel I have no say in how we spend our holidays becuase I have no family
Q. I wrote last week about going on holiday to see my partner's family and the fact that we had to keep to schedule and had no time alone even though I was ill. I appreciate everyone's advice. Some said I should have my own staycation meaning stay at ...
A. 13 June 2019: Wow, talk about rubbing it in that you don't have a family!
What does having a family have to do with anything?
A vacation is about so many MORE things than JUST seeing family. Seeing new places, meeting new people, trying new food, seeing new... (read in full...)
My husband had a sexual fling while I was mourning the loss of my father. How do I get past this?
Q. My father died last year. It was a tough time for me and still is. We were very close. I found out recently that my husband of 6 years was having a "fling" with an old friend while I was mourning my dad's loss. It wasn't a full blown affair. It was ...
A. 12 June 2019: If it had been a one time "knocking boots" I "might" forgive it and work through it by a 6 moths fling? And with a FRIEND?
No, I can forgive it, but I would NOT want to stay with him.
Not knowing how to deal with YOUR grief is NO excuse for... (read in full...)
Why does my boyfriend have to say hello to every young blonde woman that he sees?
Q. I been with my boyfriend for two years now but every time we are out walking when a young woman passes by he says hello I don't understand this as I don't say hello to random young men or women passing by and it really winds me up. He says he's just ...
A. 12 June 2019: OP, that is crazy that he can't say hi to a passer by without you going nuts. Seriously!
And the reason he won't stop is because you are acting like an insecure control freak.
My husband is the same in that regard, he will say hello if someone... (read in full...)
LDR boyfriend is not giving me attention
Q. I have been in a LDR for about 5 months. I love my bf dearly and i am willing to sacrifice to spend time with him and talk to him. We met on a app and usually we talk on the app bc we can play games and talk. From the very beginning there has always ...
A. 12 June 2019: I think you need to realize that LDR's rarely work long term.
It might be fun and exciting and emotionally rewarding for a while to correspond with someone and YES, it might FEEL like love or deep affection. BUT... to REALLY feel love you NEED to ... (read in full...)
Why are my parents showing contradictory responses to my dating? And should I proceed with my day trip and longer plans?
Q. Hi there, I actually have three questions after the back story of my situation. To begin with, my parents were really uptight on the idea of having a boyfriend or dating. However, a couple of months ago, I got to know a guy from my university an...
A. 12 June 2019: I think you should ASK your parents what is going on here, they are really the ones to ask.
Maybe not ASK for permission to go (to the theme park) but let them know where you are going and with whom.
So far they haven't told you no, you can'... (read in full...)
LDR girlfriend got drunk at a club and can't remember anything
Q. Dear all I've been in a relationship for nearly 3 years and during that time nothing bad has happened, it's been pretty good mostly. At the moment it is long distance and has been this way for 6 months. My girlfriend went to an exhibition ...
A. 12 June 2019: How long is this distance going to last? And when is the next time you will spend time together in person?
I think it is "easier" to gauge if your partner is lying to you or if something is off (so to speak) if you can see her in person. ... (read in full...)
Mixed signals, and being friend-zoned without any proper conversation
Q. I was seeing a guy for a month that I’d met off a dating app. We would hook up almost every time we met. I invited him out for dinner, he’d message me all the time, we'd have intimate time always alone with cuddling and tender kissing. It was a ...
A. 11 June 2019: I don't think he USED you per se, I think he took this thing you two had rather casually and WHEN you asked straight out if he saw a future with you (as in having an actual relationship) he TOOK his time thinking it over and deciding that, maybe ... (read in full...)
How do I deal with a very interfering mother who's super excited after the birth of my daughter?
Q. First of all, let me say that I absolutely ADORE my mother, and for the most part, we have a great relationship. But ever since I had my first baby just over a month ago, she has been driving me crazy. The past month has been full of visiting wi...
A. 11 June 2019: Your mom is just excited, OP
She isn't doing this to piss on your parade or diminish your motherhood or stories, just REALLY eager to be PART of the story. At the end of the day, it REALLY doesn't matter who told the story. THE people there KN... (read in full...)
Do you think it was his phone call? Was he too shy to speak?
Q. Ok - one for the guys:- I left my number with a guy I'm quite keen on. I told him he must keep in touch with me and text me to let me know how he's getting on (as we are both on separate vacations for the next month or two), I think he's fairly s...
A. 11 June 2019: Fully agree with FA
IF (let's entertain the idea that it was him for a second) he called and can't even speak, WHAT is the point of keeping in contact? You expect to carry on getting to know him to monologues? (yours) or what?
In the US the... (read in full...)
Should I be worried about the fact that my husband is constantly texting his co-worker and even sent her mom flowers on mother's day?
Q. My husband has been texting his female coworker. She is single and their conversations seem to be innocent and friendly. My only concern is that it seems like they text all day. He is also not very open about it. I didn’t even know they have been ...
A. 11 June 2019: I think you should talk to him about it.
And I would start out with telling him that you DO NOT accuse him of cheating but you feel he is crossing lines. And I would quite honestly ASK him if he was OK with a MALE coworker sending YOU flowers ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend's family are very badly behaved with me
Q. Hello, I have a question about how I should handle my feelings toward my boyfriend's family. We have been dating for seven years now. I am 23 and he is 26. When we began dating, his mother did not like me at first but I learned it's because she is a ...
A. 11 June 2019: I don't think their behavior is "normal" at all. But it might be that they KNOW it upsets you and they find it funny. Some people are like that. Or maybe he is a bit jealous that his big brother has a GF (you) and thus acts like a twat.
The t... (read in full...)
Why did I panic in the middle of our BDSM thing?
Q. My husband and I are new to BDSM and have been experimenting a lot the last couple months. Last night after he did his thing he was pushing to try and get me to finish (which hasn't happened yet). I was liking what he was doing but started getting a ...
A. 11 June 2019: Maybe you two need to try and work on your climax OUTSIDE of the confines of BDSM? So that you ONLY have to focus on that and nothing else?
Have you talk to someone about the rape?
Because I DO think that can affect this situation. ... (read in full...)
Why did my boss act so strangely when I put in my resignation? Did he think I was his stress shock absorber?
Q. I have just recently left a job in a toxic situation and been offered one in a more mentally healthy environment, It has taken me over six months to find the new job and I have suffered considerable stress as financially could not just walk out ...
A. 10 June 2019: I forgot to add,
WHEN you start your new job, DO NOT talk smack about your old job, that is like dragging around that negative energy like baggage, it will DO YOU no good.
New job = FRESH start.
If anyone at the new job asks, say you didn't... (read in full...)
Why did my boss act so strangely when I put in my resignation? Did he think I was his stress shock absorber?
Q. I have just recently left a job in a toxic situation and been offered one in a more mentally healthy environment, It has taken me over six months to find the new job and I have suffered considerable stress as financially could not just walk out ...
A. 10 June 2019: Stop worrying about it, OP
WHATEVER he is feeling or thinking is now IRRELEVANT.
My guess, however, is that he KNOWS he failed. You brought up some issues that should have been fixed, that was probably HIS job to fix and when he didn't you no... (read in full...)
Why did I panic in the middle of our BDSM thing?
Q. My husband and I are new to BDSM and have been experimenting a lot the last couple months. Last night after he did his thing he was pushing to try and get me to finish (which hasn't happened yet). I was liking what he was doing but started getting a ...
A. 10 June 2019: Maybe you should consider IF BDSM is really WHAT you want. And if it is, TRY and define IN your head and then verbally what you would like to try.
I think the two of you are trying to "run" before you can "walk". As in, you two are trying things t... (read in full...)
He doesn't have the guts to fully accept me in his life yet won't let go of me
Q. Please could somebody help with the below before I lose my mind? I apologise in advance if this gets long winded! I’ve been with my partner 8 years. There is a 15 year age gap - he was divorcing when we met and his family frowned upon this. For t...
A. 10 June 2019: How can you LEAVE without leaving?
What example do you set for you kid by staying in a relationship that isn't fulfilling, where you take advantage of him and he of you.
You KNOW what to do. YOU CHOOSE to stay. So all this looking at datin... (read in full...)
I feel guilty about unfriending a friend of my husband, on his account!
Q. Before we met, my husband used to work for this couple who owned their own business. He worked for them for about seven years. He was good friends with them both, but especially the wife. When we started dating, whenever they threw their annual ...
A. 10 June 2019: Good for you, OP~
Honesty is healthy in a marriage. And it's also good that you now know how little SHE means/meant to him.
Time let her "go" in your head-space too. ... (read in full...)
How can I help her deal with an abusive ex?
Q. So I've recently met a girl and we have started seeing each other. It's going well and I like her a lot. She recently confided in me though that her ex boyfriend was abusive towards her. She told me that he was generally a very angry person who ...
A. 10 June 2019: Trust takes time to build. And probably longer for her because of her past.
I think you really do need to consider a few things.
1. YOU are not her ex(es) and should not be lumped in with them.
2. YOU should be "judged" on your OWN mer... (read in full...)
Am I supposed to put up with my husband's mouth and his cheating?
Q. Thanks in advance My husband is so mentally abusing. It’s beem a difficult time for me. He does disrespectful things to me. He goes on instagram and follows escorts , naked women and if I tell him nicely this bothers me, he gets livid! He...
A. 9 June 2019: Sound like you marriage is over but you are both flogging that dead horse.
What DO you get out of your marriage?... (read in full...)
How can I deal with judgmental and snobbish people in my place of work?
Q. I work in a engineering firm and I have come across a group. Of people two men and some of the woman that seem to be judgmental of where people live and the city they were raised. I live in a major city in the US near New York and like every city ...
A. 9 June 2019: When I get tired I might mispronounce or search for the right word and my family (hubby and kids) will tease me. Its not to make me feel bad, its just banter in this house.
I speak 6 languages. English is my 3rd language, so who cares if I mispro... (read in full...)
Should I delete my email account altogether so that he can't get in touch with me?
Q. Hello my ex- fiancé and I broke up 7 months ago. We’re together for about two years! He moved to another country because he is in the military. Anyway to make things easier I blocked him off of all social media, phone etc. Today he emailed me! All ...
A. 9 June 2019: Depending on WHAT kind of e-mail you have you can set it up so any e-mails from HIS account goes straight in the trash.
Or you can simply DELETE any e-mail you receive from him without reading them. YOU don't HAVE to read them or reply to them.
... (read in full...)
Is it true that if you cant be happy on your own, then you wont be happy in a relationship?
Q. I am sure you guys have heard the saying " if you cant be happy on your own you wont be happy in a relationship" in your guys opinion do you believe that this is true. If someone isn't happy with there life and who they are and they just keep j...
A. 9 June 2019: No one is totally happy ALL the time. It's unrealistic.
But you have to find a kind of equilibrium within yourself. Know YOURSELF, so to speak. What you like, enjoy, dislike. What you have to offer. Spirituality for some, beliefs, faith, ideology... (read in full...)
LDR girlfriend got drunk at a club and can't remember anything
Q. Dear all I've been in a relationship for nearly 3 years and during that time nothing bad has happened, it's been pretty good mostly. At the moment it is long distance and has been this way for 6 months. My girlfriend went to an exhibition ...
A. 9 June 2019: She could have been "rufied" (drugged). Or depending on WHERE she is in her cycle, have drunk more than her body could handle. I have managed to walk about a mile home super drunk, no recollection of leaving, and woken up wearing my boots and ... (read in full...)
How do I fill this need to be the nurturer in the relationship?
Q. I have an emotional dilemma. I am 24 and have a wonderful boyfriend who has a huge extended family (all of whom are lovely people). He had quite an idyllic childhood. My childhood was less happy. My mother died when I was 12 and I suffered sexual ...
A. 9 June 2019: Volunteer, OP
With kids or the elderly or even animals. Or even find a job/education that leans towards the more nurturing fields.
We all know that people, like you, wit ha high degree of empathy are honestly rare.
I know it feels good to be... (read in full...)
Our vacation centers always around my boyfriend
Q. I've been with my bf for nearly 5 years. He's from a different country so we don't get to go on vacation unless it's to see his friends and family. I don't mind but when we do go we don't get time to relax. I've gotten sick on this trip to the point ...
A. 8 June 2019: Have you TALKED to him about this?
He might not quite GET what you expect from a vacation or how LITTLE you actually relax on these "visit family trips".
You two could ALSO make little weekend trips around your own country, stay at a B&B an... (read in full...)
What do I do inbetween therapy sessions?
Q. What do I do in between therapy sessions? I know life goes in per usual but I feel so lost. During therapy, everything seems to make sense, we are getting closer to solving the puzzle. I am still in process of telling my therapist my life story and ...
A. 8 June 2019:
Keep a journal. When things pop in your head write them down.
Part of therapy is SELF-DISCOVERY, it's not just the therapists job to suss your issues out. It is also yours.
If your therapist gives you "homework" or suggest different to... (read in full...)
Why was he dating me at the same time as getting back together with his ex?
Q. He should have just told me that he had some issues to work out with her and I would have stepped aside. I didn't even want to get involved at first but HE'S the one who pursued me... HARD! He talked about the future with me and made plans for us ...
A. 7 June 2019: Because he knows that you MIGHT stick about to have his "sloppy seconds".
Just because he pursued you HARD, doesn't mean he FEELS deeply or CARE deeply for you. It probably just means he is ensuring that he gets companionship and sex from 2 women.... (read in full...)
How often do exes get back together for their child?
Q. I recently started seeing a guy with a young son. I really like him and I think he feels the same. I've never been with a single father before but it doesn't bother me, I'm sure I'll love his kid. We are taking it slow (for obvious reasons) but ...
A. 7 June 2019: It happens, OP
I'm sorry you got hurt. I'd block, delete and remove him in case he decides to try and hang on to you.
Don't let him hold you back from finding someone who is right for you.
And... you obviously have a good intuitions, so list... (read in full...)
My boyfriend treats me like glass since I'm a virgin
Q. Hi y’all. I’ve taken some of your advice to put myself out there and date and get to know a guy. He’s actually a classmate of mine and my friends set us up. We’ve been dating for for a while but he treats me differently. The conversation of sex c...
A. 7 June 2019: Yes, if his is so focused on your being a virgin that he can't see you as a person too - just a person with no sexual experience, then he is not for you.
I will still say when you DO meet someone, go slow. Doesn't matter if you are a virgin o... (read in full...)
Who is the guarded one? I’m ready for a relationship and am willing to work on opening up!
Q. I’m looking at online dating and chatting with a guy.He keeps saying, I’m guarded.But I’m prepared to trust, tell him whatever he needs to know,. I’ve told him to ask, what does he want to know.? I want to get to know him and have told him so. He ...
A. 7 June 2019: I don't think he is "it" for you. I'd keep looking.
While it's only been a week he really doesn't seem all that KEEN on meeting and getting to know you.
I do think taking it slow is smart, but if it feels like he isn't really making an effort... (read in full...)
Crushing on the Walmart guy!
Q. I'm going to try and keep this as short as possible! I have been single for almost 4 years. I haven't dated anyone I just haven't found anyone that I'm interested in until now. A few months ago I seen this guy that works at my local Walmar...
A. 7 June 2019: Good for you!
Just GO slow. GET to actually know him before jumping in with both feet.
Good luck.... (read in full...)
I feel guilty about unfriending a friend of my husband, on his account!
Q. Before we met, my husband used to work for this couple who owned their own business. He worked for them for about seven years. He was good friends with them both, but especially the wife. When we started dating, whenever they threw their annual ...
A. 7 June 2019: You should tell your husband what you did and why.
As for why she was a cow towards you? Who knows, but I wouldn't lose any more sleep over that. You two live far enough away that you don't have to see or interact with her again ever.
YOU DO,... (read in full...)
Who is the guarded one? I’m ready for a relationship and am willing to work on opening up!
Q. I’m looking at online dating and chatting with a guy.He keeps saying, I’m guarded.But I’m prepared to trust, tell him whatever he needs to know,. I’ve told him to ask, what does he want to know.? I want to get to know him and have told him so. He ...
A. 7 June 2019: I think if you WEREN'T a little guarded at your age, you would be a tad too naive.
Being a little guarded and cautious is NOT a bad trait.
I have to ask though, how much time do the two of spend talking IN person?
Because I think I wou... (read in full...)
I’m upset that his ex has been put back on his work team!
Q. Please help - I don't know whether i have a right to feel upset and hurt. My partner and I work for the same company - logistics - he manages ( he is one of the managers, with one of his own teams) on the customer services side - I work for the clie...
A. 6 June 2019: Do you trust him to be faithful or not?
That is really what it comes down to.
HE can shut down the flirting if he so wishes. BUT there is NO way in Hades SHE can "make him" cheat if he doesn't WANT to be a cheater.
YOU are the one who m... (read in full...)
Is it ok to lie about a vasectomy?
Q. I just ended a 10 month relationship. I ended it because he admitted he lied to me about having a vasectomy at the beginning of our relationship. Is this a common occurrence? I have never heard of a man lying about birth control before and I am ...
A. 6 June 2019: Total deal breaker on BOTH ends.
EVEN men with a vasectomy can in some instances STILL get a woman pregnant. It was OVER all not smart to NOT use birth control, BOTH of you. Even if he claimed to have had a vasectomy, YOU should STILL use cond... (read in full...)
Do I let him go or hope he will change his mind?
Q. I met a man last year on a dating site it was great for the first 3 month but then he said he just wanted to be friends which i thought ok. He is very aware i have feelings for him and we spoke about this. He recently said lets be fwb and because i ...
A. 6 June 2019: End it and try again with someone else.
DO NOT sell yourself short, OP!
OFFERING up "free" sex is NOT going to make a man go :" UH I really should date this one! - she's a keeper!".
He sounds like he is just wanting to take advantage of you... (read in full...)
Abusive actions, abusive words, messaging other women—I feel I just don’t know him anymore!
Q. Hi, I’ve been with my boyfriend for over 8years. We have talked about marriage and having children and settling down. We currently live together. For the past few months however I just haven’t been happy. We’ve been arguing a lot and we just feel...
A. 6 June 2019: I think you look at it in the wrong way.
YOU would NOT be throwing "away" 8 years, you would be accepting that your relationship HAD a expiration date and it has come and gone and you both ignored it.
What he SAID to you (while claiming to not ... (read in full...)
Is he wanting my home number?
Q. Ok so I have a strong attraction for a much younger junior guy in my line of work. We get on well, are both single and have a definite chemistry (e.g. laughs and jokes, tease each other etc) and although I look quite good for my age, I feel I'm ...
A. 6 June 2019: He is a coworker and a MUCH younger one to boot.
While I am NOT a huge fan of BIG age gaps, I know it works for some people so that is NOT the biggest concern.
But you work together. So if you misread him or it doesn't work out, HOW awkward... (read in full...)
I don’t trust him, he’s a player! Why does he not want me to move on? What to do?
Q. I like this guy from almost 1 year now I had a crush on him even though I knew he had a girlfriend Then abruptly out of the blue he started flirting with me and blushing. his friends tease me even teachers tease me by his name once I saw him with ...
A. 6 June 2019: He sounds like an idiot. Immature idiot.
I hope you know you CAN do better than that.
While it might have been fun for a while to flirt with him, you HAVE to realize that he HAS a GF, and even if that ended and YOU started dating him, HE w... (read in full...)
My boyfriend treats me like glass since I'm a virgin
Q. Hi y’all. I’ve taken some of your advice to put myself out there and date and get to know a guy. He’s actually a classmate of mine and my friends set us up. We’ve been dating for for a while but he treats me differently. The conversation of sex c...
A. 6 June 2019: I think your friends speaks from experience. And I think he IS doing the "right" thing is going slow with you. That isn't JUST for your sake, it's for his own too.
But if I were you I'd tell him to stop TREATING you like you are made of glass.
... (read in full...)
Crushing on the Walmart guy!
Q. I'm going to try and keep this as short as possible! I have been single for almost 4 years. I haven't dated anyone I just haven't found anyone that I'm interested in until now. A few months ago I seen this guy that works at my local Walmar...
A. 4 June 2019: First I think you need to reel in that whole "he is the one" fantasy.
He could have a GF. Or a wife. Or be a total asshat.
HE IS A COMPLETE STRANGER.
Why not just say:" Hi, how are you?" next time you see him. Kids say the darndest thing, ... (read in full...)
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