Why did he unmatch me after hooking up?
Q. I hooked up with this guy from Tinder the other night but we didn't have sex because I was on my period. That didn't seem to bother him but I was uncomfortable with it and gave him oral instead. I told him next time we will go all the way and he ...
A. 20 March 2019: You write:" I am not the clingy type and he knows that. "
How? Because you TOLD him? If he is just some random guy of Tindr you hooked up with once, then he DEFINITELY doesn't know that you aren't clingy or stalking him.
My guess is he is a... (read in full...)
What’s wrong with people? Do we not listen now??
Q. Why are people so self absorbed and disinterested? Is this rude? If you saw a friend you hadn’tseen in ages and she didnt once ask how you or your life was what would you do? You havent seen her in 5-6 months. and of course ask how ...
A. 19 March 2019: I think there is a CLEAR way of knowing WHO are friends, who are acquaintances and who are semi-stranger - JUST by thinking of the conversations you have with them.
My good friends and I have long conversations, some times NOT as often as either o... (read in full...)
I'm growing concerned that my girlfriend is on the phone for hours with "friends"
Q. Girlfriend oh phone with other guys for hours late at night..... So my girl and i have been together for a while. We like to fall asleep on facebook messenger videochat at night. Ive been getting worried because most nights I'll try to call her ...
A. 19 March 2019: Are you really SURE she is ON a call of just left it open?
Besides what is with the check up on her at 1 am? If she is OUT with her girlfriends WHY are you calling to check up on her?
And WHY is your FIRST conclusion that she MUST be talking ... (read in full...)
Is there anything wrong with fantasizing what your friends would be like in bed?
Q. Hey, I want to ask a quick question (I'll try to keep it quick anyway) Is there anything wrong with wondering what your friends are like in bed, or even fantasizing about such things when you're alone? I love my partner and he satisfies m...
A. 18 March 2019: Personally?
I'd shut those fantasies down. These are FRIENDS of yours. You want to put them in a sexual fantasy as a "stand in" for your partner (in a sense) to have some "mental images variety" in your.. well, "spank bank".
I can EASILY see h... (read in full...)
I am not sure that I can be the support system I think my b/f needs
Q. Hi all! I have been dating my BF for about 4 months now. The relationship was very fast moving and we basically were pretty "offical" after a few weeks of dating. He was pretty intense, But I felt like I had finally found someone who really cared...
A. 18 March 2019: I think you know this isn't going to be a healthy relationship, ever.
Like Auntie Cindy stated YOU CAN NOT BE your partner's therapist, even if you DO have the education it would be a bad choice to counsel a partner.
The SOONER you disengage an... (read in full...)
Wife hides her family and past from me
Q. I recently found out that my wife’s sister has past. I am upset because I never even knew she had a sister. My wife hides her family and her past from me. Worse she asked me not to come to the funeral and wants to go alone. We have been married for ...
A. 18 March 2019: I'm with Cindy here.
I think that in 8 YEARS of knowing a partner you would have been told or heard about the partner's family, even if there was a LOT of bad blood between them. Having a sibling and NEVER mention it? I find it odd. It's a very c... (read in full...)
Are hugs and pecks on the cheek too forward from someone who really isn't your friend?
Q. I am a bit old school in certain things with texting and personal greetings so would like to ask two questions. When I text female friends I tend to put one or two kisses but don't tend to put them to men unless its male relations like a cousin, i...
A. 18 March 2019: I think it all depends on YOU (and the other person).
For me, PERSONALLY, it would be WAY to forward and unwelcome for someone I BARELY know to hug me. As for the XX and OO's in a text... I wouldn't really read that much into it. I wouldn't... (read in full...)
How do I make our troubled relationship better again?
Q. I unintentionally insulted a girl I liked. She told me how she struggled with school in the past. I tried to care for her and said "It must be difficult for you". She misinterpreted my meaning, got angry and thought I looked down on her intellig...
A. 18 March 2019: Leave her be. STOP apologizing over and over. Apologizing 6 WEEKS after you said something SHE interpreted as insulting is ..well a bit too late.
If she is now more standoffish, I'd stop trying to "fix" things and I would perhaps leave her be. ... (read in full...)
Why is my boyfriend suddenly acting differently regarding oral sex
Q. Hello, I have a quick question. My boyfriend is 54 and lately, when I'm performing oral on him, he remains soft yet ejaculates. Also, lately, he only wants me to suck, no licking around it like he used to like and suddenly, he's been pressuring me ...
A. 17 March 2019: The finger in the butt is for prostate stimulation. Makes it more pleasurable for him.
As for why he prefers "sucking" to licking.... it has a more powerful sensation and will get him off faster, I'd wager.
He wants to try something differ... (read in full...)
He is trying to make it out like I’m overreacting, but why buy gifts for his female co-worker?
Q. Hello, Looking for any advice on how to keep pushing forward and leave be okay with my decision. Last week I found out my husband purchased flowers for a coworker. He states he was just being supportive because she hosted a networking influenc...
A. 16 March 2019: By gas-lighting YOU (making you think you are crazy or overreacting) he has been successful in the past in shutting you up and shutting you down. SO he sticks to what has worked FOR him.
He knows what he is doing is SKEEVY and he CERTAINL... (read in full...)
Why am I kept separate from his family?!?
Q. Im not sure what to do. Ive been seeing a guy who i met from work for around 2 years, we dont work together now and we have separate places too. The relationship got off to a rocky start due to work colleagues gossping and me cheating with an...
A. 15 March 2019: I also HAVE to question if the divorce is final or not.
He STAYS as your EVERY night, so you don't go to his place much? His place is also separate from you?
I have to agree with N91, why start a "time limit" now? It's BEEN 2 whole years alre... (read in full...)
Why would a man leave like this, could this be related to anything I could have done without purpose? Is there any possibility to get him back?
Q. I dated a guy I work with for a month(I started working at this place 2 months ago),but we don’t work in the same office. It was a really intensive dating. We met almost everyday, spent a lot of time together. He was really into me and I liked him a ...
A. 15 March 2019: Another reason he ended it could be that he couldn't sustain the courting you while also having to deal with his mental illness/mood swings.
You said YOU dealt with his mood-swings - well, I don't think THAT is your job at all!
Now, I'm not ... (read in full...)
Any advice on how we go forward after a break?
Q. I split up with my ex a couple of months ago now and we didn't have any contact for a month but he contacted me and we have met a couple of times. We split due to me feeling he didn't want the same as me commitment wise and i admit i compared...
A. 14 March 2019: I forgot to mention that there is ANOTHER reason why I think that going back to an ex or taking a break is rarely a good idea.
A PARTNER should be someone who BRINGS the best out in you, NOT your worst. That doesn't MEAN you will always BE at yo... (read in full...)
Why would a man leave like this, could this be related to anything I could have done without purpose? Is there any possibility to get him back?
Q. I dated a guy I work with for a month(I started working at this place 2 months ago),but we don’t work in the same office. It was a really intensive dating. We met almost everyday, spent a lot of time together. He was really into me and I liked him a ...
A. 14 March 2019: Sounds like he has commitment issues and probably some other unmentioned issues. I mean if he HAD to take a week of work... I don't think it's minor issues that he is trying to deal with on his own and HASN'T included you in.
A GOOD partner ... (read in full...)
Any advice on how we go forward after a break?
Q. I split up with my ex a couple of months ago now and we didn't have any contact for a month but he contacted me and we have met a couple of times. We split due to me feeling he didn't want the same as me commitment wise and i admit i compared...
A. 14 March 2019: I think you should keep working on you. While you have made great improvement in 2 months, no one really change completely in that short period of time. And... being AWAY from him has made it easier for you to NOT obsess, so it FEELS like you have ... (read in full...)
I really like her but she's giving me mixed signals
Q. Hi I really like a girl and get mixed signals, sometimes I feel she likes me and other times she is distant and feels like she is pushing me away. It's really a day by day thing. Some days she is clearly interested and then others seems to want to...
A. 14 March 2019: Amen on Cindy's "mixed signals" clarification.
She isn't "sending" mixed signals. YOU are reading more into her POLITE behavior than she is mean to give. Some days she isn't as worried about her grades and is thus in a good friendly mood and then... (read in full...)
How much time do you think she'd take to be ready to date again after her previous long relationship?
Q. Hello folks. I'm being driven nuts by a dilemma and since I can't talk to any of my friends about it, I thought I'd ask about it anonymously instead of turning it over in my mind to no end. So this is the situation. I'm a 25 year old, attracted t...
A. 14 March 2019: Yep, I will echo the other answers. She isn't into you in THAT way.
While some people take a LONG time to process and get over a break up, it's been almost two years. SHE knows you are interested and had done NOTHING to let you know she is wanti... (read in full...)
He has a crush on me but then why isn't he acting on it?
Q. I am recently single...I was in a relationship with someone for 2 years and it ended 2 months back. During the course of the relationship we frequented this bar and we were always together,drinking, kissing ..so basically everyone in that bar who ...
A. 14 March 2019: I agree that it CAN be professionalism. It can also be that HE isn't single himself. Or that he flirts with a lot of female patrons JUST for the fun of it. OE hw is unsure on just how SINGLE you are and whether you are OVER the guy you were ... (read in full...)
Why would he spend so much time courting me then suddenly act like we never happened?
Q. I started seeing this guy about 2 months ago. Hes a nice person, was married for about 8 years but divorced for 1, he asked me out a few times before i finally agreed, and was as sweet as can be the whole 2 months we were dating. Refused to let me ...
A. 13 March 2019: If you two can't figure out HOW to communicate with each other but think you can "rely" on reading minds... IT's just not going to work.
As for what friends of his SAY, you can't go by that either. THEY are not the ones DECIDED if he wants to... (read in full...)
Am I overreacting to his sex secrecy?
Q. So, crazy title question, I know, but I'm not sure if im overreacting. A few weeks ago my boyfriend and I were talking about women "squirting" during sex (insert embarrassed face lol). We were just talking about it casually because we are v...
A. 13 March 2019: Do you know what EXACT move makes you orgasm? EVERY time?
Probably not.
If you DIDN'T enjoy it, set up boundaries of asking him NOT to try again.
If you enjoyed it... DOES it really matter HOW he made it happen?
He might just have gott... (read in full...)
Why is he not respecting my boundaries and allowing me to move on? Does anyone have any advice about how to move on and stop loving the father of your children?
Q. My ex broke up with me after 4 years together. We had a toxic relationship with many rows and turbulence. Saying that, we had ALOT thrown at us in the 4 years we were together, much more than what a normal couple would go through in their lifetime. ...
A. 13 March 2019: Unfortunately, moving on from someone you have kids with is MORE complicated than someone you don't share kids with.
I don't think blocking him is the right thing either. I think it's PRETTY important for him to BE in his kid's life AS MUCH as ... (read in full...)
His ultimatum makes no sense! What do I do?
Q. I'm in a dilemma - my long distance boyfriend and I have spoken about marriage and he says he wants to marry me. However, he at first didn't want a child and then agreed to have one with me "because he wants a life and marriage with me". We hav...
A. 13 March 2019: I'm sorry, OP
But... AT LEAST now you know. And now you can move on. Don't let him waste ANY MORE of your time. And... learn from this.
If someone OVER the age of 30 says:" I DON'T want kids" they REALLY don't want them, and HAVE considered ... (read in full...)
Isn’t it weird for a man to have pictures like these on his phone?
Q. I chatted online to someone who seemed really lovely. He told me that he was very needy, I am done with needy men but I thought I shall give him a chance. We met, he was lovely but he talked too much which irritating me, while he was showing m...
A. 13 March 2019: LOL @ Cindy.. Silkies are rather lovely :)
Why on EARTH would clients send him dick-pics? HOW does that makes sense in ANY career? Unless he know the artist Whitney Bell (she is the one who turned 150 unsolicited dick pics into "art").
I... (read in full...)
He said I was overthinking things and now it’s all awkward! What do I do?
Q. So, basically theres this guy ive been messaging, we know each other well due to his son being in the same class as my brother. I decided to email him over the half term just to see how he was and that i missed him last week and kind of wanted t...
A. 13 March 2019: Asking the same question multiple times doesn't mean people will give you the ANSWER you want.
My answer is the same as well.
TL:DR
HE isn't interested and trying to let you down gently. He is in NO way shape or form ready to be getting invo... (read in full...)
She blocked me and unblocked me on instagram, what should I do?
Q. She Blocked and unblocked me on Instagram, what should I do? A short background story: I had been talking to this girl from campus for about 2 months now. It was going pretty well, and we had met about 3-4 times, exchanged our numbers an...
A. 13 March 2019: Yep, I'm with N91.
SHE isn't into you at all. She likes the attention, but really could be happy with that from any Tom, Bob or Harry.
WAITING 2 days to even turn you down and tell you no? THAT is a CLEAR as NEON sign. So you can keep chattin... (read in full...)
How hard is it being a single parent? And how do I explain this to my child?
Q. hi i have just recently broken up with my partner of 5 years we have a 3 year old daughter together I couldn't keep the relationship going any longer no matter how hard I tried he made no effort to spend any time with me and our daughter we would ...
A. 13 March 2019: Don't go into details.
She is 3. She doesn't CARE about the pot/weed and his shortcomings.
All you really need to explain is that sometimes people don't get along, sometimes it can be fixed and other times it can't. That it is an ADULT problem... (read in full...)
Am I just paranoid/jealous or is my boyfriend's cousin really weird with him?
Q. Hi I've been having weird gut feelings. Ever since I've started dating him his cousin seems to have a problem with me. She's accused me of changing him when I haven't done anything and sent me hate messages which caused tension between me, her and ...
A. 12 March 2019: I think it's pretty weird too, and the REASON he isn't nipping this in the bud is because he is ENJOYING all the attention she is giving him.
And he seems to ENJOY making you feel ill will towards HER and like you aren't enough. Otherwise HE would... (read in full...)
I can't let go of what my boyfriend did
Q. Hello, I recently posted about my boyfriend crossing the line. http://www.dearcupid.org/question/i-think-this-is-not-acceptable-and-he.html Him and I talked about it and he says he understands how I see that he crossed the line and that he will...
A. 12 March 2019: Thanks for the update, OP
While I'm sorry it didn't work out for the two of you, I think it was for the best (especially for you).
When you feel like you HAVE to monitor your partner's location, phone, email, social media... the trust is gon... (read in full...)
His ultimatum makes no sense! What do I do?
Q. I'm in a dilemma - my long distance boyfriend and I have spoken about marriage and he says he wants to marry me. However, he at first didn't want a child and then agreed to have one with me "because he wants a life and marriage with me". We hav...
A. 12 March 2019: If he NEVER wanted a kid, then he STILL doesn't want a kid and his ULTIMATUM is his way of TRYING to prevent having one, because he KNOWS you rather stay where you are than move to the middle of America.
I think this is more than an "ultimat... (read in full...)
I’m nervous about losing my virginity? Any tips?
Q. hi everyone I was hoping to get advice on losing virginity as an older overweight woman. I am 27 years old and I am still a virgin. I have a fwb situation going on and I plan to lose my virginity to him. The Problem is that I’m extremely nervous ...
A. 11 March 2019: HAVE birth control at hand. CONDOMS for him and PREFERABLY be on birth control yourself for a month or two. the LAST thing you need is to get knocked up by a guy who is willing to have sex with you but not date you.
Secondly, have candles lit. Not... (read in full...)
Do I stay with my job with little time off and great money or go for something less stressful?
Q. This isn't a relationship question, but a work one instead. Last year I posted a question about becoming a chef and got loads of great replies. I love most of my job and the pay is good and I have had a promotion and my manager wants to promote...
A. 11 March 2019: So you don't really have the "I'm going to be the next Gordon Ramsey" ambitions. AND THAT IS FINE! So, I'd say look for a LESS stressful chef/cooking job. Sure it might be less money but is the stress WORTH that extra money?
There is NO one sayi... (read in full...)
I missed out on a group poster, and now I feel bad! Why do I feel not part of the team?
Q. I have been on leave 10 days got back to work today. How would you feel if you were on leave and the boss (female) took photos of all the female staff to celebrate int womens day? To show we are a good team. (Yes there are guys there, but t...
A. 11 March 2019: I agree with Cindy, you feel how you feel, but... I don't think it's a logical conclusion to go from you weren't in the picture to being unwanted.
You weren't IN the picture because you were on leave. You weren't the ONLY woman who missed o... (read in full...)
My sex life is non existent since having my baby and I literally feel nothing anymore
Q. I write this as I lay unable to sleep, which happens a few evenings a week. Since having my first child and going straight onto contraception I feel like my mood has progressively got worse (Even though I have the non hormone coil). It’s been alm...
A. 11 March 2019: Go see your doctor.
You went on a non-hormone contraceptive BUT if your hormones are out of whack after having had your child, getting on birth control (with minimum hormone) might do the trick on getting you back on even keel, so to speak.
... (read in full...)
He won’t listen to me, that he has no need to prove himself! How to get through to him?
Q. Hi, I have known a guy for about four years and have been dating him for nearly two years, he is good friends with my family and he and my Grandad are always winding each other up. They love the banter but as per usual my Grandad took it a bit too ...
A. 11 March 2019: I think if he GENUINELY isn't a very romantic person, he will revert back to being less romantic ON HIS OWN.
And If he actually BELIEVED your granddad's admonishment, then YOU and HE (your BF) are both benefiting from a little more romance ... (read in full...)
Divorced guy asked me for drinks then backtracked and said that we should stop before things get complicated!
Q. Theres this guy that ive been talking to via email. We know each other well due to his son going through school with my brother. Ive always liked him, but never really said anything. So recently I decided to send him a message to see how he was. We ...
A. 11 March 2019: EDIT...
I meant to say:" The fact that he suggested drinks at HIS place, kinda of makes me think he WASN'T thinking to DATE you seriously anyways. ... (read in full...)
His ultimatum makes no sense! What do I do?
Q. I'm in a dilemma - my long distance boyfriend and I have spoken about marriage and he says he wants to marry me. However, he at first didn't want a child and then agreed to have one with me "because he wants a life and marriage with me". We hav...
A. 11 March 2019: Why is HE the only one o you who can make these decisions?
Sounds like MY way or the highway, here.
And have you asked him for his REASONING with these 2 choices he has thrown out there?... (read in full...)
She said yes to the date...but her female friend wants to join us as well!
Q. I asked a girl on a date and she said yes. but we were not sure what day we were both free. A few days later i suggested two dates, the first she was busy and the second she said maybe. A few days later we were chatting and I asked her to remember ...
A. 11 March 2019: Either she is NOT interested or it's a cultural thing.
That fact that she made EXCUSES twice already to NOT go out with you (too busy and then a maybe) - I'd wager it's just her NOT being interested and not feeling comfortable turning you down.
... (read in full...)
Wedding mania! Should I give a portion of my declines to fiance for his invites or is this just a very awkward lesson for him?
Q. My fiance and I are paying for our own wedding 50/50. We chose an affordable venue and plan to have about 80 guests. We are inviting 20 mutual friends, 30 from his side, and 30 from mine. Most of our guests will traveling. I am only inviting im...
A. 11 March 2019: I would give him any of your declines as it seems a little strange to only invite SOME coworkers or JUST the bosses, I'd think it would just be easier to invite NONE from work.
But maybe limit toe number you "give" him" to let's say 2-3? that way... (read in full...)
Would you date a toothless guy?
Q. Will you date someone with no teeth? I mean, i know hes not broke, he has 2 jobs in LA, he has Volkswagon car and can travel anytime he wants. Im just curious why he wont go dentist for it to be fixed. Lol...
A. 11 March 2019: Nope, I wouldn't date a guy who doesn't take care of himself.
I'd also wager he has been heavily into drugs at some point or still is.
My husband's oldest brother was married (his first wife) to a woman who was hooked on pain killers and woul... (read in full...)
My FWB blocked me on WhatsApp!
Q. what do you do/say to someone that has blocked you in wassup? I was seeing this guy for about 2 yrs. It wasn't a serious relationship but it is a friend with benefits. ...
A. 11 March 2019: FWB isn't supposed to be a long term thing. Usually because ONE or the other catches feeling and the whole "casual" side of it becomes "complicated".
He blocked you because he is done with it (the FWB and YOU).
He hit the expiration date ... (read in full...)
Divorced guy asked me for drinks then backtracked and said that we should stop before things get complicated!
Q. Theres this guy that ive been talking to via email. We know each other well due to his son going through school with my brother. Ive always liked him, but never really said anything. So recently I decided to send him a message to see how he was. We ...
A. 11 March 2019: When a guy says something like "it's complicated" it's basically a "nice" way to let you down and to try and nip anything further in the bud from happening.
If he JUST got divorced in late December. Which means that he and his ex-wife and his kid(... (read in full...)
Do I stay with my job with little time off and great money or go for something less stressful?
Q. This isn't a relationship question, but a work one instead. Last year I posted a question about becoming a chef and got loads of great replies. I love most of my job and the pay is good and I have had a promotion and my manager wants to promote...
A. 9 March 2019: I think it depends VERY much on where you see yourself in 3-5 years.
If you are fine with being a lunch lady, then go for switching jobs. If you want a career and to make a name within the restaurant business, you will have to put in the hours an... (read in full...)
I can't let go of what my boyfriend did
Q. Hello, I recently posted about my boyfriend crossing the line. http://www.dearcupid.org/question/i-think-this-is-not-acceptable-and-he.html Him and I talked about it and he says he understands how I see that he crossed the line and that he will...
A. 9 March 2019: I'm sorry OP,
But I'm not going to change my advice.
I STILL think you should CUT your losses and find a guy that isn't Long Distance and who ACTUALLY respects you and NORMAL boundaries people have in a relationship..
I GET that you don't ... (read in full...)
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