My boyfriend wants to get married but all of his baggage is making me wonder if its a good idea
Q. I've been seeing my new boyfriend a little over a year. He is a very sweet guy. He wants to get married, and I'm unsure I really want to. I know that my reasons will sound very vain. He doesn't have a tax paying job, he works for cash doing whatever ...
A. 21 July 2019: Did you tell him what you think? That he needs to be a RESPONSIBLE adult before you two can marry or did you end it?
If you did tell him, what did he say?... (read in full...)
I guess he's cheating? Pantyliner found in boyfriend's bathroom trash
Q. I found a panty liner in the trash can in boyfriend's bathroom in his room. Mind you, it was on the top of the trash and there are 2 other bathrooms in his house before you get to his bedroom bathroom. He said he didn't know how it got there and ...
A. 17 July 2019: No cleaning lady either, dog walker, cat-sitter ?
(though I CAN NOT imagine a cleaning lady leaving THAT out in the trash, she would probably EMPTY the trash as part of a routine... but ya know?)
If it makes you go hmmm... I would stick to t... (read in full...)
What is wrong with me and how do I fix it?
Q. I don’t know what is wrong with me… I learned something about myself and I cannot pretend that it is not there. I decided a long time ago I didn’t want to have children. I just couldn’t bear the thought of bringing a new being into this world,...
A. 16 July 2019: You sound like a very emphatic person and I think you should consider talking to a therapist about this. I can only guess that the loss of your aunt and mom at such important ages in your life has had a profound effect on you.
Maybe consider... (read in full...)
I guess he's cheating? Pantyliner found in boyfriend's bathroom trash
Q. I found a panty liner in the trash can in boyfriend's bathroom in his room. Mind you, it was on the top of the trash and there are 2 other bathrooms in his house before you get to his bedroom bathroom. He said he didn't know how it got there and ...
A. 16 July 2019: Yes, he is right... it's trash but he is also LYING through his teeth when he says he doesn't know where it came from. UNLESS he has had SO many women in his house lately that he is telling the truth (in the sense that he doesn't know WHO left ... (read in full...)
I made him wait for me thinking someday we would be together. He is now dating another woman but we love each other
Q. I met this guy a year ago.He turned out to be from my old school in my homecountry before the war occured, but we just never met although he was infront of me the whole time. We both lived a traumatizing war, but the effects of it made him become ...
A. 14 July 2019: I think you are being unrealistic. 100% Mostly because you are young and have little REAL experience with adult relationship.
NO ONE is going to sit on a shelf and WAIT for you to be ready to date.
NO ONE should put their LIVES on hold fo... (read in full...)
How can I make my boyfriend realize how awful he's been to me?
Q. My boyfriend has been horrible to me lately and I'm really upset that he doesn't feel bad for treating me the way he has. Last week he asked me to book a last minute holiday, I don't know why he couldn't do it himself but just text me his card...
A. 14 July 2019: You aren't worthless, OP
And He is being an ass. How can you make him understand? I don't think you can.
He first heaped vocal vitriol on you when HE had made the mistake of giving you the wrong card number and then NEVER apologized, whic... (read in full...)
My sister's long ago boyfriend wants to meet and talk. How do I tell my boyfriend?
Q. in high school, my sister dated a guy who loved her very much. Basically he lost his chance forever when she found out she was gay. Over the years, he had sporadically kept in touch with me, and now he is coming to the area (for a sporting e...
A. 13 July 2019: Tell your BF and INVITE him to go with you.
As for "closure" that this guy wants - you aren't going to be able to give him that. He will have to work that out for himself, like.... SHE prefer(ed) women over men thus their relationship ended. I... (read in full...)
Do I just have to put up with him staring at other women?
Q. Hey everyone I’m in.a relationship for 6 years now my boyfriend has always stared at women in front of me for the first couple of years it really upset me then he stopped but now I have caught him loads of times doing it he nearly put his neck out ...
A. 13 July 2019: Yes, MEN (and WOMEN) notice attractive people, even when they have a partner, even an attractive partner. I'd say THAT part is "normal". No one goes "blind" because they have a partner.
What ISN'T "normal" (but unfortunately very common) is the S... (read in full...)
Worried that my wife may get what I am too tired to give from her ex fiance!
Q. I need some advice as to what I should do, if anything, about a situation that has come up in my marriage. We have been married for 4 yrs. I am 27 and my wife is 26. Our marriage is mostly good and our sex life is good but our twice a week norm is ...
A. 13 July 2019: Do you think your wife is weak of mind? Untrustworthy?
If so, WHY are you married?
IF not, then TRUST that she called the ex for an estimate and to do the work because she KNEW he could do it cheaper.
I get that he is not only an EX, but a... (read in full...)
Cheater?? Just your first instinct, not full evaluation!
Q. Ok... Just be straight... Being paranoid, or boyfriend totally cheating on me?? He has a friend contact, saved on his phone as "Wifey S" when questioned, said nothing to worry about, just a female friend.... what are your first thought... backgrou...
A. 12 July 2019: OP, you haven't lost anything by the guy ending it. He sounds like a loser, Think about it, he isn't trustworthy and he is full of shit.
WISH them well, they will be miserably together. He will probably cheat and she will probably know it and "for... (read in full...)
How do I get my bf to try anal with me?
Q. Straight to the point, how do I get my bf to try anal with me? I’ve brought it up a couple of times and I’ve done it before with other bf’s but my bf now is the most respectful guy that even when we have sex he asks if he can do certain things which ...
A. 11 July 2019: 1. don't bring up PAST experiences with him. He doesn't NEED to be told you did anal with an ex and loved it. OK?
TALK to him (not during or right after sex) about trying some new things. Make sure you have condoms for this. TELL him what you woul... (read in full...)
Why is my mum acting this way? Does she not like my boyfriend?
Q. Hi everyone - I was just wondering if anyone could help me solve some family issues which I think are regarding my current partner. I have been with my boyfriend for a year and we are very happy. He basically has moved in with me (it sort of just...
A. 11 July 2019: Get her alone and talk to her.
Or, ask your dad. He probably knows.
It could also be that they aren't as "enthused" to have another person living in their house. While you asked for permission, they might not have thought he'd stay this long. ... (read in full...)
He rejected me but what's the deal with his odd questions?
Q. I just wanted some advice on this rejection. I don’t normally ask guys out on dates as well I tend to lack confidence and I am shy. However, I very boldly plucked up the courage to ask a guy out. He knows my parents and I had been introduced to hi...
A. 11 July 2019: I think he was softening the "blow" of rejection but continuing to talk to you in a friendly manner on subjects he KNEW you would feel able to converse in.
I think he handled it very nicely, honestly.
He didn't tell you to F off or look at y... (read in full...)
How do I succeed in getting a job and moving out of my parents home?
Q. Hello, my question is this: how do I succeed in getting a job and moving out of my parents home? When I was in high school, I wanted to get a part-time job and start driving lessons so I continued onto community college (I rode the bus each day...
A. 11 July 2019: I don't know which kind of job you have applied to and what you are interested in. With a BA in Humanities you could be looking for Human recourse jobs. Will it pay enough to live away from your parents? Perhaps. It all depends on WHERE you apply. ... (read in full...)
Should I believe my married man?
Q. Just decided to break up with my MM after over 12 years We had a lot of ups and downs as well I just got to the point now where I had enough He tells me i’m the love of his life the woman he loves with all his heart , but that there is no way ...
A. 10 July 2019: It all comes down to what YOU want in life?
DO you want to be some married man's dirty secret? because THAT is ALL you will ever be for him. While he might claim that he LOVES you, his ACTIONS shows that you are NOT that important to him. YOU are ... (read in full...)
I need some words that will make me feel better! I’m heartbroken.
Q. Heartbroken I'm hoping someone can day the right words that make me feel even a little better. My husband and I broke up a few mths ago after 19years of marriage, I've been left heartbroken. I thought I was coping ok until he told me he has a new ...
A. 10 July 2019: It's OK to feel shattered, betrayed, heartbroken and confused.
If you had NO idea that he was seeing someone on the side, it's NO wonder you feel the way you do!
While you NEED to take some time to process the loss and mourn the end of the m... (read in full...)
I feel he led me on and then rejected my offer for sex!
Q. I (27F) have been having a crush on a colleague at work (46M). We hang out together and have lunch/dinner together. Since he is moving out of state, I wanted to confess my feelings for him before he left, and I knew it would not lead to a serious ...
A. 10 July 2019: I don't think he led you on OP, he just have another SET of values than you,
For him, sex isn't something you just do... because why not. I think he feels sex should MEAN someone. And I think he also rejected your offer because he didn't feel hav... (read in full...)
Am I being taken advantage of? What is going on?
Q. I have a guy friend that I met less than a year ago. We have kissed once but never have we talked about it since (we were somewhat drunk). He didn't want to go further because he didn't want to ruin the friendship (although we haven't been friends ...
A. 10 July 2019: He isn't your friend, YOU are not his either. You are an acquaintance that he can USE for cat sitting and parking validation.
Try and say no a time or two to cat sitting or parking validation and you will see just how NOT your friend he is.
M... (read in full...)
Its been so long I've forgotten how to have sex
Q. Well, I've spent the last few years focusing on my daughters rather than my sex life. Well, my kids both had a sleep over with a friend of theirs over the holiday weekend. Made dinner for my boyfriend, and made our own little date night at home. We ...
A. 9 July 2019: Just tell your BF that you are rusty and than next time, take your time.
Sex isn't complicated. Seriously. It's about pleasuring each other, getting to KNOW what the other person likes and enjoys and just go for it.
Make sure birth-control is... (read in full...)
My boyfriend wants to get married but all of his baggage is making me wonder if its a good idea
Q. I've been seeing my new boyfriend a little over a year. He is a very sweet guy. He wants to get married, and I'm unsure I really want to. I know that my reasons will sound very vain. He doesn't have a tax paying job, he works for cash doing whatever ...
A. 9 July 2019: Should it bother you?
Yes, I think it should. Especially if MARRIAGE is in the card or on the table for discussion.
Once you MARRY someone, THEIR financial issues CAN become yours. He shouldn't even CONSIDER marriage until his debt to the IRS ... (read in full...)
My husband has cheated called me names and won't talk about why he cheated
Q. Hello and thank you My husband and I have been married for two years. Our relationship has had some issues firstly he has cheated twice that I know of. He tells me that will never happen again. I have to admit sometimes I feel a bit insecure b...
A. 9 July 2019: What is it that you love about this man?
Why did you marry him in the first place?
Sounds like he has need for a LOT of attention from many people (my guess is mostly women) that is why he has a chat app and is MORE focused on being "popular" ... (read in full...)
He said he'd like to be friends and then blocked me. Why?
Q. Dear Cupid, A couple of months ago I was dating a separated man going through a divorce. He had moved back to his hometown and was setting into his new life with new job etc. I'd also recently gone through a break up. It went really well to be...
A. 9 July 2019: Leave him alone, OP
If ANYONE is being "dramatic" it's him. You two aren't going to work out. He isn't really ready to be dating but doesn't want a platonic friendship either. You dn't want casual and that is ALL he can really offer. He has left... (read in full...)
Our wedding venue and honeymoon for next year are booked but our relationship is a disaster, my boyfriend refuses therapy and I feel unloved, unwanted, sad and totally lost
Q. My boyfriend and I have been in a relationship for over 7 years, and for 5 of those years we lived together. We had our fair share of arguments but otherwise have had a pretty stable relationship. He proposed last year and we're due to be married in ...
A. 8 July 2019: I think you need to accept that your relationship has reached it's expiration date. :(
You need to make YOURSELF he priority here. Which to me would mean a few things. 1. look for a new job with less drama. 2. find a new place to live (even a ... (read in full...)
How do I ask our friend to take the photos of us and our home off Instagram and not sound angry?
Q. I don't want to make a big deal out of this... and... thanx for your help :) I'm a private person and I don't use social networks. My husband doesn't use them either. Unlike me, he really hates them, I just do not like them. Recently a frie...
A. 8 July 2019: She should have asked your permission to NOT only TAKE the pictures but post them too. That is just showing NO manners!
I would tell her that you have heard she has posted pictures of your home on Instagram and that you would prefer she removes ... (read in full...)
Why has my husband of 15 years suddenly become so interested in anal sex?
Q. Hello I’m wondering why my husband of 15 years is suddenly only wanting to have foreplay with my anal it’s bern a couple months and I feel he’s prepping me slowing he started touching me there then kissing and licking and now he’s trying to do it ...
A. 8 July 2019: TALK to him.
If you two have been married that long you can TALK about sex. You can set boundaries if you so wish but WE can't read your husband's mind.
... (read in full...)
Was my girlfriend cheating?
Q. Dear all I posted about my situation a while ago, but it has changed since so i want to know what you think. My girlfriend (its long distance at the moment) went clubbing, got drunk and can't remember what happened. she took a morning aft...
A. 7 July 2019: I think it's time to wish her well, OP.
She isn't being faithful, even if it's not full on sex.
DO you go around and kiss people that aren't her? My guess is no. Would she do all these things in front of you? Again, my guess is no.
Being i... (read in full...)
Marrying a Second Time With a Strong Porn Addiction
Q. I'll be turning age 72 next month. I've been divorced for almost 9 years now. I've had a strong porn addiction since I was age 12. I usually masturbate using busty babe porn videos at least once or twice each week. I want to get married again, but I ...
A. 6 July 2019: I'd suggest you read up on this addiction first of all -
https://www.yourbrainonporn.com/
Has some good resources.
Secondly, it's ALL about willpower, self-control and RESPECT for your partner.
Personally, I think masturbat... (read in full...)
Why do men want women to emulate their "fantasy" woman?
Q. Why are women so often told to try and see what their man likes inmpirn an emulate that . How can a woman possibly be Swedish, Asian , big breasted , small breasted , tall , petite , black , white or any of those other things that men so often seek ...
A. 6 July 2019: Do you think this is ALL men? Because that is ridiculous.
Just like NOT all women would like a sexy Adonis with a 8 pack, hung like a horse and plenty of money... not all men want what they don't "have".
I don't know who "tells women" to give m... (read in full...)
Why did a man I know take my hand to examine my rings?
Q. Why did a man I know take my hand to examine my rings? He just grabbed a hold of my last three fingers and slowly twisted my rings back and forth while examining them. Do you think this behavior is strange? Does it seem flirtatious? ...
A. 6 July 2019: Who knows?
Maybe he liked your wedding set?
You are both married (obviously) so why should this matter?
And you are an ADULT woman so if you found this uncomfortable you can pull you hand back.
What are you "hoping" is the reason?... (read in full...)
Why did he laugh at me?
Q. Okay there's this one guy I liked for 2 years. He kinda sent me positive signals moreover he knew I liked him from the very beginning still he never ignored me . Another girl also liked him but as soon as he came to know he ignored her. Anyways ...
A. 6 July 2019: Because he is immature and just didn't know what to do with your declaration of feelings.
It pleased his EGO that you liked him, but.. he doesn't feel the same as you.
My advice? Don't declare your feeling to someone who has ONLY given you "... (read in full...)
Straight friend wants to try gay sex with me.
Q. This guy and me, we're friends from childhood, we have known each other our whole lives. I'm gay and he's straight. Recently he broke up with his girlfriend and that's when he told me he'd like to try it with a guy (it meaning sex). I told hi...
A. 5 July 2019: Listen to your gut, stick with the no, thanks.
You don't OWE him to be his sexual guinea pig. It WILL without doubt RUIN your friendship if you do try this.
IF he wants to experiment with men, THAT is on him. He might feel safe with you, but if... (read in full...)
I walked in on my husband performing oral sex on my best friend
Q. Hi there. I am 29 years old and have been married for 5 years. My husband and I have been together since we were young teens. I never thought he could hurt me but I was away on holiday with my friend and we came home early, when i returned I walked ...
A. 5 July 2019: I'm with N91,
(except it's 5 years of marriage and 16 years of knowing each other)
His excuse is pathetic. JUST because no one has even given her oral doesn't mean HE had to be the one doing it, seriously!
Being DRUNK is NOT an excuse e... (read in full...)
I'm in a slightly wobbly relationship where I do love my partner but my best friend just professed his love for me
Q. Hey dearcupid Community! So, I'm in a bit of a predicament. Theres my partner. Been with him for 6 years in September. God I love him, he's not in a dark place, even his parents say how far he's come from what he once was and how certain thin...
A. 5 July 2019: I think it's absolutely SELFISH to hit on someone and declare feelings of "love" to someone who is in a long-term relationship.
It means QUITE frankly that he doesn't respect YOUR relationship at all. And that he kind of expects you to just dro... (read in full...)
We have been dating for 9 months no sex getting frustrated!
Q. I'm 29 and my girlfriend is 26. She's a virgin, specifically never had sex, kissed, or even had a boyfriend before me so I do know a lot of stuff makes her nervous. She told me all this after our first kiss. I told her I would be fine with not ...
A. 4 July 2019: You have to start being honest, with her and yourself.
If you aren't REALLY willing to WAIT for her to be ready, then end it and move on to someone who IS ready for it.
You aren't OWED sex because you are dating. For many (I'd say MOST) young ... (read in full...)
My girlfriend ordered me not to speak to another woman I used to work with. Was she being unreasonable?
Q. My girlfriend is very possessive of me. She actually ordered me not to talk to another woman because she thinks that woman has designs on me. I used to work with this person and needed to go see her for work related reasons. I have a new job and ...
A. 4 July 2019: Since it could be done over the phone, I'd chosen to that option first.
However, I have to agree with Code Warrior. This would be a DEAL BREAKER for me. For a partner to ORDER me or DEMAND of me to not talk to someone is a total no-go.
If a pa... (read in full...)
We've been involved but now he blocks me!
Q. We both date girls and we're both 32, . My "straight" guy friend at 14 said he "fell for me" in highschool. He said don't tell no one! We lose our virginity to each other and have sex for 2 years. 2019, I reached out, told him I've always had ...
A. 4 July 2019: What's the deeper meaning?
He isn't interested. He might want to continue to "seem" straight and date women only. He either don't WANT part of a male/male relationship or he has come to terms with the fact that he likes men, but want to date wom... (read in full...)
Was I wrong to delete her number?
Q. Been talking ,texts, that's all,never met ,once by accident at a store but I was with another, we met on pof,so for six months or more we been texting, she only has one liners, until I stop writing her, now she writes a lot more, but now she says ...
A. 4 July 2019: I agree, don't overthink this.
If you weren't looking to make a new friend who could BARELY bother to talk to you (until you went quiet) then there is no point in keeping her contact info. Personally, I'd go one step further and just BLOCK he... (read in full...)
Is this a friendly sign or a flirty one?
Q. I text a male acquaintance and signed off 'ciao for now'. He questioned me on ciao and told me I had spelt it wrong (ciou is what I said). He then replied with 'so I will say Ciao Bella'. Men who would you say this to and women would you see it as ...
A. 3 July 2019: eh, no it doesn't HAVE to have much significance other than him trying to sound VERY "Italian".
People text all kind of stuff, you shouldn't focus on little things and presume it means something more than just words. It will just drive you nu... (read in full...)
Should pay a sex worker to just go on a date with me?
Q. I'm pushing 30 very soon and I'm a male virgin who's never been on a date or ever been kissed. I'm not handsome in any way (I'd go far as to say pretty ugly), chubby, bald, and short (5'8''). I don't have much redeeming qualities. I can draw pretty ...
A. 3 July 2019: I think you might have to FIRST consider a few things, such as...
WHAT do you expect will come of paying someone to go "on a date" with you?
WHAT do you think paying someone will change in your life?
Why do you think YOUR only option i... (read in full...)
My male cousin offended me. Should we just not go to his house again?
Q. I have a male cousin, whom I used to be close to. Things have changed but weren't too bad until our last visit. I was really offended because he hardly talked to me for the weekend that we were there. What was worse was he talked a LOT to my wife. ...
A. 2 July 2019: He might be attracted to your wife and he might just have wanted to BE a good host.
Why not just JOIN in the conversations? Or talk to whomever else was there? Mingle and be social?
It seems WAY over the top to believe you now have to NEVER go... (read in full...)
Why did I put up with my ex for so long when he did terrible things to me?
Q. I been off and on with my first love for 19 yrs. In the past he dated other girls and would come running back to me when the relationships failed, I went back each time I think I just wanted closure because I kept asking him lots of questions about ...
A. 2 July 2019: Why did you put up with it?
Because YOU got something out of this. Maybe not what you had HOPED to get out of it, but something nevertheless.
Drama, excitement, heartache, big ups and big downs.
I think that you equate DRAMA and games w... (read in full...)
How can I stop falling in love so easily?
Q. It is so easy for me to have feelings for someone that I'm kind of scared being too influenced by this... I don't really like group social gatherings much, and would prefer one on one talk. The problem is, once I have a really good communicati...
A. 2 July 2019: Dial down your expectations and learn to SIMPLY just enjoy a good conversation. Having a GREAT conversation with a guy doesn't automatically mean that HE would be good match for you or vice verse. All it REALLY means is that you are BOTH able to ... (read in full...)
I'm an unhappy married man attracted to a woman at work
Q. i am a unhappily married man who is very attracted to a beautiful young lady at work. at first it seemed that she was and maybe i hope she still is attracted to me. but lately i am very attracted to her and pay attention to her as much as i can with ...
A. 2 July 2019: You aren't single, so not only is it WRONG to pursue this young pretty coworker, it's also wrong towards your wife.
Stop thinking with your dick.
IF your marriage is not working and makes you unhappy, FIX that first. Figure out if the marriage ... (read in full...)
Cheater?? Just your first instinct, not full evaluation!
Q. Ok... Just be straight... Being paranoid, or boyfriend totally cheating on me?? He has a friend contact, saved on his phone as "Wifey S" when questioned, said nothing to worry about, just a female friend.... what are your first thought... backgrou...
A. 30 January 2018: You don't HAVE to have proof to end things. If you NO LONGER trust him, you don't have much of a relationship anyways.
Take away trust, is like taking a wheel of a car. You are not getting far with that. And like dominoes once trust is gone, ot... (read in full...)
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