2 babies with another woman and he's married to me. I want a divorce!
Q. I have been married for 4years and just before I got married my husband and I were on a short break. During that break, my husband (then fiance) slept with one of his friends. I did not find out until one month after we got married. And 4 months ...
A. 4 April 2019: When he suggest "counseling" to make the marriage work, what he REALLY is saying is that YOU should just ACCEPT what he did and move on.
Counseling will NOT make him a changed man.
And IF HE after father ONE kid, continued to CHEAT on you... ... (read in full...)
Does he care or not care ... he keeps contacting me.
Q. I have an ex who reached out to me six months after ghosting me, and tries to pretend nothing came between us. I don’t respond, and he later replies in a passive aggressive manner as if to say “don’t worry I don’t care anyway”. A bit of history, ...
A. 3 April 2019: No, I don't think he REALLY cares. Not about you. Himself and his ego? YES, he cares DEEPLY about that.
Don't TRY and be his friend, don't leave yourself open to him reaching out when he is bored. JUST block, delete and forget about this guy.
... (read in full...)
My boyfriend gets angry when I talk about being committed
Q. I live whith my bf at his place, he can be 2 different people sometimes, one nice warm and kind the other not so. We have been together for about 3 years but when I ask about being more committed to each other he gets angry . I want children and he ...
A. 1 April 2019: You REALLY need to learn to stand on your own two feet. It's time.
You might not be able to afford a flat of your own, so look for a room-mate situation that you can afford.
You ARE just the build in "sex-pot" on tap at his place.
YOU wa... (read in full...)
How do I carry on being professional when I have a crush on my married boss?
Q. Recently I have had to spend more time working closer with my boss. I have never really had much to do with him on a one to one basis and so have not really thought much about him or his home life. Have now found out he has been married for over ...
A. 1 April 2019: Well, I think it's only fair that you broke up with the man you are dating as you are crushing on someone else.
But a CRUSH is just that... A CRUSH. It doesn't HAVE to go anywhere, in your case it really shouldn't.
Perhaps you need to cut down... (read in full...)
2 babies with another woman and he's married to me. I want a divorce!
Q. I have been married for 4years and just before I got married my husband and I were on a short break. During that break, my husband (then fiance) slept with one of his friends. I did not find out until one month after we got married. And 4 months ...
A. 1 April 2019: Whether he FATHERED those two children or not, HE was unfaithful and thus a "bad husband". Even IF he DNA test show he isn't the father. If he IS the father, then financially, he IS responsible for children he produces whether he is married to the ... (read in full...)
Why is my Best-friend becoming an Enemy?
Q. I have a Best-friend who I have known since 2011. Our friendship has been hot and cold many times. She is now dating a man who she has known online for 3+ years over Facebook. I do not believe he is healthy fit for my Best-friend as he has lost his...
A. 1 April 2019: Being rude is either who she is or HOW she wants to come across to you, so YOU have to decide.. IS this a person I want in my life or not?
Quite simple.
She has CHOSEN to date this man, move him in with her. HER life, HER choice. He proba... (read in full...)
He cheated on me, was violent but it now feels things are back on track. So why am I not happy?
Q. I really don't know how I feel anymore, my head is all over the place and I'm so mixed up. I've been with my boyfriend for 8years. When we first met things moved very fast and I knew i loved him very early on. We had what I thought was the perfect ...
A. 31 March 2019: What happens when you have kids and he decides to lose his temper again? Put you in the hospital? Or if you are pregnant and he hits you? Or 6 feet under?
IS that what you want for your CHILDREN to grow up around? Violence? Abuse? because he promi... (read in full...)
My father made me look foolish when I was buying a car.
Q. Help with interferring father please. My elderly father embarassed me when I was trying to buy a new used car..!! He lives in another state and I don’t see him or my mother much.. 1-2 times a year, we small talk on phone every 5 -6 weeks, ...
A. 30 March 2019: I agree with Cindy,
Him calling and "trying" to make sure you didn't buy a lemon... Only makes him look like an old fool, a CARING old fool. I can honestly... see my OWN dad doing something as misguided as that. Out of love.
Don't be mad ... (read in full...)
I think my boyfriend should end it if he isnt happy with me anymore.
Q. Last night my boyfriend jokingly said "go find someone else then", but I didn't find it funny. We spent the evening together just hanging out, watching comedy on TV. At the end of the night he said lets go to bed. I said yeah and like waggled my ...
A. 30 March 2019: DO NOT move in together until you two have talked this through and worked through it.
While I get that he might be dealing with grief and thus doesn't feel like putting much of an effort with you, long term that isn't going to work for either o... (read in full...)
I know I'm depressed by my girlfriend doesn't seem to care.
Q. Hi, I’m male in my late 20s. I currently have this issue where I can’t sleep properly due to thoughts. So I am tired all day. I used to cry once every 6 months on a major issue however now I’m breaking down every day or two. People around me are ...
A. 30 March 2019:
GO see your doctor.
It's NOT your GF job yo "cure" your depression, it's your responsibility. YOU need to deal with it.
If you can't sleep at night and insomnia is keeping you up worrying about things, you REALLY need to get help for that.
... (read in full...)
Am I being sent signs that I should stay single?
Q. I met a man on a drunken, fun night the other night. We clicked and had a lot in common. he was quite sweet. he took me for dinner and gave me sweet cuddles. I had asked God if maybe God would want me to have a boyfriend or a husband a couple of ...
A. 29 March 2019: It is not for me to tell you what I think God meant or didn't mean.
That is between you and your Maker.
But I think, IF I can give you ANY advice, is that you STOP trying to make instant relationships.
GET to know a guy first, before the cu... (read in full...)
Is my fiance's treatment of me emotional abuse?
Q. Hi I have been with my fiancée for over two years. Usually he’s charming and sweet. He has a mean streak though. He feels entitled like I should pay for everything cause he makes less money. If we have a disagreement. He says to shut up ...
A. 29 March 2019: I absolutely agree with ALL the aunts and uncles.
This is doesn't respect you, treat you like you OWE him stuff because you are more successful than him and is overall a total TWAT!
WHY are you with him?
He is charming and sweet until... (read in full...)
What kind of body language is this?
Q. Can anyone tell me what type of body language the following comes across in a male (apart from just being a comfortable position). I was sat next to a male friend on a sofa, he had chosen to sit next to me when there were other chairs in the ro...
A. 28 March 2019: Yep, I agree, He wanted the couch to himself. THAT is NOT how you sit if you want someone you don't know REALLY REALLY well, to sit next to you.
If it was HIS home I can see it "being comfortable" (but exaggerated) if it WASN'T his home... ... (read in full...)
Is he interested or being a polite neighbor?
Q. I recently relocated to a new city. Within a month of moving in, my neighbor introduced himself and I was immediately stricken and attracted to him. The other day he stopped over and we ended up having drinks with neighbors and friends. He kept ...
A. 28 March 2019: He is single himself, correct?
So next time he ASKS you WHY you are single... ask him why HE is single.
He actually said he enjoyed SOME of your mannerism? What an odd thing to say. It ALMOST imply that he also DISLIKES OTHER of your manneris... (read in full...)
Please help me get my life back together.
Q. Ex bf went to prison. It was severe emotional abuse for four years before that. I told him I will help him without any expectations. But he asked for a relationship again. He came out of prison, ran back to his ex-wife, humiliated me before o...
A. 26 March 2019: Focus on you. Rebuilding your life from the socks up.
So where do you start?
Well, counseling is good. That way you can work through WHY you felt a NEED to help a guy who hurt you like that. That is really what you need to figure out. WHY ... (read in full...)
I feel nothing after separating from my boyfriend of 4 years
Q. My boyfriend and I have broken up after 4 years together and I feel numb. We've separated because even though we love each other, we're not "in love" and we both knew it and it was completely emotional. Is it normal the feel this unphased af...
A. 26 March 2019: It might hit you in a week or a month and it might not at all.
There is nothing wrong with you. My guess is you already "left" the relationship ages ago, at least mentally. So when it actually happened you had already processed the break up.
M... (read in full...)
I want to sleep with my boyfriend (no sex) but my parents said NO
Q. My boyfriend and I have been dating for almost a month. This weekend he asked if I could sleep over. Obviously, I’d love to. However, my parents are catholic and extremely conservative. I brought up the idea and they automatically said no. Honestly, ...
A. 26 March 2019: First off, you two have ONLY dated a month.
Secondly, no. Sleeping over at his house should be in separate beds. If "all" you want to do is cuddle, you can cuddle on the couch while watching a movie. That way neither of you will feel tempted ... (read in full...)
I trust him, of course I do, I just don't understand his actions.
Q. I’ve been with my partner for almost six years and we’re currently expecting our first baby, due in July. For a while now he’s been taking his phone everywhere with him, even if he is just going to the toilet/puts the bins out/make a cup of tea, he ...
A. 26 March 2019: Why not ask HIM straight up? WHY are you so protective of you phone as of lately?
See what he says.
Don't make accusations, just ask the quest next time he locks the screen while near you.
If this is new or odd behavior after 6 years, ... (read in full...)
Is my male coworker playing mind games with me?
Q. There is a coworker who works in a different department, “John”. He doesn’t go to meetings, has attitude, gossips, flirts, dates fellow coworkers, likes to mess with people, etc. When I first talked to him about something work-related, he...
A. 26 March 2019: Let me guess, he is OLDER than you? right?
So IF you had dome something OFFENSIVE, he is OLD enough to tell you.
I think he picks on YOU because YOU react to his ridiculous behavior. He ENJOYS to see you squirm.
He isn't a very nice person... (read in full...)
I have no clue what I did wrong and don't want to ask because I'm afraid it will make her even more angry
Q. Me and this girl we have been together for a while and recently went through a rough patch. We are slowly getting through it but today something happpened that has really confused me. We were talking on Snapchat when she said something that annoyed ...
A. 25 March 2019: Just ask her. No one (including you) can read her mind.
If she gets angry over something you typed, the ONLY way to "fix" that is figure out WHY she got mad and what NOT to do (type) in the future.
However, maybe you two should @#$#%#$#^ pick u... (read in full...)
How do I cope with failure?
Q. Hello everyone! A few days back I took a career advancement exam: I studied extremely hard, did may best and I coulnd't have done more than what I did. In a few weeks we will be getting our results back.I am terrified of failing it. I would feel ...
A. 25 March 2019: How about you chill and wait for the results?
If you didn't make it, you didn't MAKE it. If you feel you GAVE it your all to TRY an attempt it, then YOU did your all. What else can you do? NOT take the test and NEVER advance?
Relax, take i... (read in full...)
My Husband Loves Social Media... I Don't
Q. Hello! My husband and I are having some issues in our marriage, mostly arising from social media. He loves his social media -- he's always checking his likes and posting pictures, but I, on the other hand, don't use mine all that often. And becau...
A. 25 March 2019: I don't have any social media. MY husband does. He posts ALL kind of crap.
Obviously, I don't.
POSTING pictures of your partner doesn't mean you LOVE them more than not posting any.
I think he is being a tad unrealistic as to what s... (read in full...)
I am not feeling comfortable with his intentions towards dating me
Q. Afew weeks ago, a man approached me and we talked a bit, just a small talk. However, recently, i just don't understand what he wants. So basically, i started seeing him around me more often, just glancing at me from a distance. He approached me ...
A. 25 March 2019: No I think your GUT is telling you THIS is not a guy for you.
And OP, you DO NOT owe this guy to be friends and quite frankly he can take his PERSISTENCE and stick up his ...!
NO means no, and he isn't RESPECTING you saying no, which REALLY is ... (read in full...)
I'm very attracted to a man who has kids and is separated. I'm torn about whether to move forward with him
Q. Hi all - any advice or thoughts on the following would be much appreciated as I'm at a total loss, something very uncommon for me. A series of events happened in my life that caused me to relocate to a brand new city without knowing anyone. ...
A. 24 March 2019: I think you need to pull WAY WAY back here.
NO dating etc. UNTIL his divorce is final and the "dust" have settled with the divorce and sharing of custody.
It will give him time to have worked through the divorce and you time to decide If you... (read in full...)
Is my male coworker playing mind games with me?
Q. There is a coworker who works in a different department, “John”. He doesn’t go to meetings, has attitude, gossips, flirts, dates fellow coworkers, likes to mess with people, etc. When I first talked to him about something work-related, he...
A. 24 March 2019: Yep, I agree.
He can ONLY "play" games with you, IF you play along. So far you have.
IGNORE the man. DO your job. If he wants to "tsk" walking by your desk WHO cares?
And why are you upset that he talks to OTHER women and not you? He is... (read in full...)
How do I get the feelings I had for my dead ex into my new relationship?
Q. I'm in distress thinking about an ex who passed away many years ago I'm in a relationship at the moment I do love him but it feels in a different way to cut a long story short although they wernt always happy between my ex and me I see are memories ...
A. 23 March 2019: Don't compare. It really isn't fair.
Make NEW memories with your new partner. Things you didn't do with your ex, placed you haven't been etc.
New relationship and new partner is a NEW adventure. It shouldn't be a continuum of the past one. It... (read in full...)
She thinks there was a hidden message about being fat in my fruit and yoghurt comment
Q. So I have been with this woman for 18 months. Our relationship has been perfect so far, no arguements, always get on. Today she had an arguement with a friend and was not very happy after. She sent me a message saying she was going for a walk and ...
A. 23 March 2019: I'd say UNLESS she ASKS you for advice on what to eat, or what is healthy, I';d leave it up to her to eat whatever she wants. Her self-image and weight is HER responsibility.
This is also one of those no win situations. You are F'd if you do and F... (read in full...)
She seemed interested but now has changed! Should I tell her how I feel about her?
Q. Hi I'm just looking for some advice on a situation. Basically I really like a girl and have done so for a long time, but I never really felt I had a chance with her so didn't try. Recently, for some reason, she became a lot more intereste...
A. 23 March 2019: there you go then!
I hope you two have an enjoyable day !... (read in full...)
How do I ‘combat’ a control-freak husband?
Q. My husband is a wonderful man but he is a control freak sometimes. When he is, it's harmless, but super annoying. FYI we don't have kids. For example: He's the chef in the family. He's very particular and likes following recipes. He'll go out to ...
A. 22 March 2019: My husband was VERY similar (except for the cooking, he never did much of that, still don't).
He liked to tell me how to do things, like cleaning and I would hand him, the broom, vacuum, duster, whatever and just walk away. Leaving him to finis... (read in full...)
She seemed interested but now has changed! Should I tell her how I feel about her?
Q. Hi I'm just looking for some advice on a situation. Basically I really like a girl and have done so for a long time, but I never really felt I had a chance with her so didn't try. Recently, for some reason, she became a lot more intereste...
A. 22 March 2019: You know, YOU asked her out on a date - so she KNOWS you like her and wanted to spend time one-on-one. SHE KNOWS.
Asking her friends is pointless. NEVER involve someone's friends in a "romantic set-up or questions. Because 1. they might have a d... (read in full...)
I wear conceal to hide spots. What if I guy wants to see my face without the makeup?
Q. Hi, I've been thinking lately, I got some pimples and redness on my face and to make my self cofidence rise again, I cover them with concealer, and if I have a boyfriend in the future and if he wants to see me with no make up, what should I do??? ...
A. 21 March 2019: Most girls these days knows MORE about make up than I ever did. My 16 year old daughter can spin circles around me with all the various, concealer, sculpt, contour... YOU name it! she knows 10 times more than I do.
So I don't think your "future"... (read in full...)
A complicated LD relationship just got more complicated. What should I do?
Q. Hi , if you are in my shoe what will u do? This is my situation, .. This guy i met online and we been talking for long hours everyday.. Discussing about us and our future. Especially we are also discussing about our 1st meeting in indonesia then we ...
A. 21 March 2019: This isn't YOUR issue here, OP
It's his. His ex-gf, his kids, HIS job to find a solution. Something like a daycare, Au pair, nanny or whatnot. IT IS NOT your job to become his build in GF/nanny.
While the plans and fantasies you two shared w... (read in full...)
Is it normal to be a bit incompatible in your sex life?
Q. I've been with my boyfriend for 3 years and when we first got together, we had quite a lot of sex. Before him, I hadn't really found anyone that I "clicked" with so kind of went without. When we were first dating, we did it a LOT. Like, 2 times a ...
A. 21 March 2019: I don't think it's all about not being compatible... I think it's about boundaries and NOT respecting them.
If you have told him, NO I DO NOT want to do anal he NEEDS to respect that and STOP frigging asking for it!
If you don't ENJOY givi... (read in full...)
Is it normal to feel unsettled in a long-term relationship?
Q. I've been with my boyfriend for 4 years. We moved in together after 6 months of being together and we're generally quite happy (we've "broken up" twice but each time lasted for about an hour each!) Anyway, I feel like recently my life is becoming...
A. 21 March 2019: Why do you feel unsettled?
I think because you are still finding out WHO you are and WHAT you want to do with your life.
You say you two have PLANNED to move to his country and have kids. It's a nice fantasy. But if we look at the REALITY here... (read in full...)
My best friend separated from her partner and is now turning to anyone for comfort
Q. hey so two of friend's just separated, one's my best friend (they grew apart). i have tried to be the best possible friend through this and have been happy for this to consume my life basically! always been checking in, trying to plan fun things ...
A. 21 March 2019: Honestly?
I'd step back from this whole mess. IF she ASKS you for advice, BE honest other then that? IT'S her life to mess up and you are NOT responsible for sorting out her drama, problems and issues FOR her. It's OK to just LISTEN. To NOT judg... (read in full...)
Why do we hold onto people that are not good for us?
Q. Why do we hold on to those who we know are no good for us? My boyfriend of 10 and a half months broke up with me 3 days ago. He was my first ever relationship and I was so happy. I thought I was in love to be honest, because I wanted to be wit...
A. 21 March 2019: Why can't you let him go?
Because you saw something there that YOU wanted while ignoring some of the "red flags". Basically you felt the PROs outweighed the CONs.
My advice would be to CUT all contact, BLOCK and DELETE him so YOU don't feel t... (read in full...)
I like him far more than I want to
Q. Hi I am need of some guidance at the minute and hope you can help! I first met Tim when I was at school, we were close friends and always shared a fondness of each other until teenage years when we lost touch. 12 years ago we became in contac...
A. 21 March 2019: I would tell him you two need to cool it until the divorce is final.
That way HE gets time to decide IF he really wants a divorce and move on from his marriage and wife or not and YOU don't get caught in the middle.... (read in full...)
Why is my partner's brother so negative about us all the time?
Q. Hi there , so my fella and I are moving in together After 6 months of dating we both have a child each and all get on fantastic .. the issue is his brother is always negative about things .. our cars are rubbish ( his car is older than ours ) o...
A. 21 March 2019: Oops hit Enter before I was done..
So part two:
YOU can not change or control the brother. Or what he says, feels, thinks, or do. NEITHER can your BF.
But you CAN decide if you want to LISTEN to the crap or not.
IS any of the negativit... (read in full...)
Why is my partner's brother so negative about us all the time?
Q. Hi there , so my fella and I are moving in together After 6 months of dating we both have a child each and all get on fantastic .. the issue is his brother is always negative about things .. our cars are rubbish ( his car is older than ours ) o...
A. 21 March 2019: Some people are negative about EVERYONE else life because they are THEMSELVES unhappy and dissatisfied.
It is EASIER to take apart your relationship rather than look at his own life and DO something about the things he is unhappy about.
One thi... (read in full...)
Is the grief causing him to treat me badly?
Q. Hello. Firstly just for some context I was in a on and off relationship for 10 years with the sweetest best friend of a boyfriend who was my high school sweetheart but his lack of ambition and lazy attitude I couldn't take anymore. We are ...
A. 20 March 2019: He treats you badly, because YOU allow it. It's that simple.
You have made excuses for him (to yourself mostly) when he has been a total dick-wad to you. Oh, it must be grief or stress... But in reality, he is a DICK to you because THAT is who h... (read in full...)
His priorities don't make sense
Q. DEAR cupid, my boyfriend I and have been together for a year and 1/2. We have been living together for a year. We have been experiencing issues and decided to end our realationship to work on ourselves and our relationship. This is where it gets ...
A. 20 March 2019: I'm with Cindy, why on EARTH buy a house with a guy you aren't married to? OR even DATING seriously?
I'm surprised that a couple of people in their 30's are this unrealistic about life.
WHY on EARTH would you buy a house with this man, if he ... (read in full...)
Why did he unmatch me after hooking up?
Q. I hooked up with this guy from Tinder the other night but we didn't have sex because I was on my period. That didn't seem to bother him but I was uncomfortable with it and gave him oral instead. I told him next time we will go all the way and he ...
A. 20 March 2019: You write:" I am not the clingy type and he knows that. "
How? Because you TOLD him? If he is just some random guy of Tindr you hooked up with once, then he DEFINITELY doesn't know that you aren't clingy or stalking him.
My guess is he is a... (read in full...)
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