Do they really have these outrageous bills in Nigeria?
Q. I have wrote here before. I had some good advice. It was about my Nigerian husband. I mentioned his mood swings , and I’m unable to ask any questions without his temper flaring up. Ai also mentioned his spending ways and his expections that ...
A. 6 May 2019: You are ALWAYS welcome to ask questions. And you know (I bet) that you will get a large variety of answers, so TAKE from them what you can USE, what you find common sense (to you) and see if they can work for you.
I am still curious OP, did I ma... (read in full...)
How do I overcome my fear of meeting the men I meet online?
Q. Hello I'm 23 and gay I'm a very shy and introverted person and I was wondering how do i who's socially withdrawn low self esteem and afraid to meet other guys with whom I chat online overcome this fear and gain more confidence when meeting guys?...
A. 6 May 2019: 1. By actually NOT talking for more than a couple of weeks online with them before meeting them.
2. Being mindful of YOUR safety when meeting up. So meet in a public place, make the meeting short (30-45 min). Do not accept rides from the guys or ... (read in full...)
Is this business client flirting with me?
Q. Last week I went to a meeting with a potential new client for the company I work for. The key lady I had met briefly the week before and the rest of the room were new to me. Throughout the meeting she made a point to talk to me despite the ...
A. 6 May 2019: Yes, I think she is. I also think she is being inappropriate and aggressive in her "pursuit".
And I think (the biggest point here) is that YOU need to put on your professional face and demeanor.
JUST because someone asks about your personal li... (read in full...)
Never been on a Proper date.
Q. Hi I'm a female who is nearly 50 and all throughout my life I have been scared to go on dates and avoid dating sites like the plague. The thought of having to sit there looking pretty making small talk with a potential partner makes me feel ve...
A. 6 May 2019: People still see someone and work up the nerve to ask them out on a date. It's NOT all apps and online dating. Many people meet through friends and family still.
However, many men don't approach women out in public as much as before, because ... (read in full...)
Why does married man come on to me do I look like I date married men?
Q. Dear Cupid I am single and been single for a very long time. Today at work I ran into a guy friend I use to work with at the one company and he always tells me how beautiful I am but he is a married man Im thinking to myself nope I will never stoop ...
A. 6 May 2019: I don't think there is a universal "I'll date married men" look, so I wouldn't worry about that notion.
That a guy friend (or perhaps rather "guy acquaintance" since he knew nothing of what was going on in your life?) asked you about your life and... (read in full...)
My mother does everything and yet when her mom passes away I know she won't be treated fairly. I want to speak up but don't know how to
Q. Aunties! I need some family advice please. My uncle has lived in America for the past 30 years whilst me, my sister and my mum live 20 mins away from my grandma. My mum has done a lot for my grandparents over the years. When my grandpa was dyin...
A. 6 May 2019: I don't think it's something that YOU need to concern yourself with, to be honest.
It's NOT your money, nor your mother's money.
You grandmother can DIVIDE her assets as he PLEASES.
You uncle took a different path than your mother. He is ... (read in full...)
How do I stop feeling down about an unrequited love situation?
Q. How do I stop feeling down about an unrequited love situation? I foolishly let myself fall for a young guy who was pretty much unavailable due to age, background, personal circumstances etc. I knew deep down there was no future in it, but I felt h...
A. 5 May 2019: If nothing happened I think it was more "fantasy" than reality.
Because usually, where there is a will, there is a way.
Get out and socialize and get your mind of this guy. Meet new people, try new things (and I don't mean that in a romantic or... (read in full...)
How to turn down Guys?
Q. So I feel a little ridiculous posting this but I never thought I'd have this problem! I need to figure out how to quickly, unambiguously turn men down. I feel so uncomfortable doing it that sometimes when I am asked to get together, I just...
A. 5 May 2019: What you ARE doing is leading them on. Which is a LOT less "nice" then saying :"Thanks, but I'm not interested in anything romantic with you." Or " Thanks, but I'm not looking to be dating any time soon".
And then remember no, means no.
You can... (read in full...)
My friend lead me on, flirted a lot with me.. then ditched me for another girl forgetting that I existed. I feel hurt and embarrassed, help?
Q. So I'm 25 and I've been friends with this guy for about a year, he's in my friendship group and he previously had a girlfriend, nothing ever happened between us and previously i always just saw him as a friend. Anyway he broke up with his girlfriend ...
A. 5 May 2019: I'm with N91,
Work on NOT letting this bother you.
You were a rebound. He picked you because it was easy, he knew you, and I think, knew that you like(d) him.
People on the rebound are lazy. They either try hooking up wit hexes or friends.... (read in full...)
How do I tell my girlfriend her bed isn't comfortable?
Q. I’ve been dating my girlfriend for a few months. So far everything has gone great. The problem I have is that I think her bed is super uncomfortable. Her mattress is a 3 inch thick piece of foam. Her blanket is 4 or 5 layers of thin blankets that ...
A. 5 May 2019: Buy her some new bedding.
I don't know if you have an IKEA nearby by they have some decent stuff for a good price.
I'd stick to just getting a decent mattress topper and bedding. Though I would NOT go overboard on this, financially. But... (read in full...)
We don't seem to be on the same page and I want to date others. How do I tell him?
Q. There is a guy that I've known of for about a decade and always had a crush on but we'd never really spoken much to eachother. We now both work in the same organisation and are also on the same college course. Since starting the course we have sta...
A. 5 May 2019: I think you just NEED to put on your big girl panties and tell this guy that you don't see you two working out.
DO NOT offer friendship. Just end it and be civil at college.
The guy is still married. He doesn't seem to have his stuff together a... (read in full...)
My girlfriend's perfectionism over grades is making me feel critisized. How can we talk about it?
Q. My girlfriend is a perfectionist and a very anxious person. She's in her 4th year of college and just submitted her dissertation this week. After submitting it, she must have cried for at least an hour, because she "knew it wasn't good enough". ...
A. 5 May 2019: Unfortunately, when you are dealing with someone like your GF (and many other women) who have been told to BE perfect and do AMAZING it's not something YOU can change in her.
What you HAVE to do is take yourself out of the equation and just let... (read in full...)
Should I agree to move in with his parents or cut him loose and send him back to his mama?
Q. I have been living with my 50 yo boyfriend for about 5 years and lately he keeps mentioning how much better things would be(financially mostly) if we moved into his parents house in the basement where he used to live when I met him 7 yrs ago. The ...
A. 3 May 2019: So you are smart when it comes to money and probably already know that buying a house with him (married or not) is perhaps not that financially safe?
Living with his parents might help save more money, but what you often see as well is that whe... (read in full...)
Should I agree to move in with his parents or cut him loose and send him back to his mama?
Q. I have been living with my 50 yo boyfriend for about 5 years and lately he keeps mentioning how much better things would be(financially mostly) if we moved into his parents house in the basement where he used to live when I met him 7 yrs ago. The ...
A. 3 May 2019: If I were you, I'd save and buy MYSELF a place that was 100% mine.
Now IF you DO get married, you don't HAVE to agree to a prenup but he could always leave his half to his brother in a will, and while you still might bet SOME of the value (as a le... (read in full...)
Was I too slow in making the right move?
Q. Hello everyone, I met a girl like two month back and from then we started chatting and talking. I really like her even from the first time I saw her, I decided to take things further slowly(from being friend to relationship). But one thing I noticed ...
A. 3 May 2019: Were you too slow? Perhaps.
She might NOT have seen you as "BF material" but FRIEND material from the get go. Which is why she looked ELSEWHERE for a BF and not to you.
So you might not have had a chance had you asked her out sooner.
Telli... (read in full...)
Should I agree to move in with his parents or cut him loose and send him back to his mama?
Q. I have been living with my 50 yo boyfriend for about 5 years and lately he keeps mentioning how much better things would be(financially mostly) if we moved into his parents house in the basement where he used to live when I met him 7 yrs ago. The ...
A. 3 May 2019: So HE has been able to pay off 70K BY living with you! Wow! Did he contribute to the household?
And if he could pay of 70K, he can SAVE up plenty of money without living with his parents. THAT is obvious, so like my first guess... he mentions... (read in full...)
Is he just looking for fun online?
Q. I have recently become friendly with a guy who is my plumber. Yes he flirts and admitted that he likes the bigger bust. He has sent me a photo when he was drunk of his body with permisson and we have chatted from time to time and he has said that ...
A. 2 May 2019: I have to agree with N91,
He is testing to see how desperate you are. All he wants though it to hit it and move on.
Is he married by any chance?
If not, maybe his SLEAZY behavior is why.
Sending nudes to female costumers? Just lazy and ... (read in full...)
Do they really have these outrageous bills in Nigeria?
Q. I have wrote here before. I had some good advice. It was about my Nigerian husband. I mentioned his mood swings , and I’m unable to ask any questions without his temper flaring up. Ai also mentioned his spending ways and his expections that ...
A. 2 May 2019: Well, IF you have supported them for over 2 years WHAT has he been doing?
Does he have a job?
If not, then OF COURSE bills are costly!
You have by enabling him to NOT HELP out his family on his own, like HE should - he has become dependen... (read in full...)
Should I agree to move in with his parents or cut him loose and send him back to his mama?
Q. I have been living with my 50 yo boyfriend for about 5 years and lately he keeps mentioning how much better things would be(financially mostly) if we moved into his parents house in the basement where he used to live when I met him 7 yrs ago. The ...
A. 2 May 2019: I'd tell him:" no, thanks. We tried living in your parents basement before and it didn't feel like our home."
Now if HE wants to move back in there, I'd say let him. But find yourself an affordable place on your own.
Does it mean you can't s... (read in full...)
Should I make him my friend with benefits
Q. So I met a guy about 14 years ago and was instantly attracted to him. He had a girlfriend at the time and I had just got into a new relationship too. I’m not going to lie there was one or 2 nights we hooked up and did things we shouldn’t of ...
A. 1 May 2019: He knows you are in a "dry-spell" and vulnerable to lame charm and honestly, not thinking much nor using your brains.
You had a "crush" on him 14 years ago. When you were 20'ish. Haven't you matured and grown up a little since? He certainl... (read in full...)
He says his affair was my fault. I am emotionally exhausted!
Q. My husband and I have been married for nearly 7 years. I got married young (21) and he was 25. I knew at the time that he was a bit insecure but I guess I was young and naïve. The insecurity is getting worse and worse. A couple of years ago, I h...
A. 1 May 2019: I think you need to listen to your counselor and do a trial separation.
While you mostly get along, he has made some choices that hurt the family. Like the cheating, the accusing you of various things, trying to control you and... biggest of all g... (read in full...)
Whenever we disagree he brings up everything that has ever made him mad!
Q. Well, my boyfriend and I have been dating 20 months. He said God brought us together but this relationship has been emotionally draining. He has such a quit temper that even when I say things that are right I'm still wrong. He is not a person that ...
A. 1 May 2019: How compatible do you feel you REALLY are?
You have been together for 20 months and fight like it's ALL about being right, not finding a solution.
You really CAN NOT dictate HOW he feels or how you THINK he should feel. HE isn't you. He ha... (read in full...)
I don't think he's over his ex yet. What should I do now?
Q. To cut a long story short...A guy I’ve dated previously (but never been in a relationship with) and someone who remained a friend for about 5 years suddenly exited his toxic relationship of six months. I hadn’t seen this friend in a year or so but ...
A. 1 May 2019: Stick to your standards, always OP
And I agree, someone chatting up another person and asking for nudes, WHILE dating someone, THEY are cheating in my book too. Even if there isn't physical contact it's just INAPPROPRIATE behavior.
But wha... (read in full...)
I'd really like a hobby. Should I take a comedy course?
Q. i often put myself down but i can give at least a list of ten things i like about myself and for any of the other cupid users i hope this doesnt come across as big headed but i do think i am naturally a funny , witty creative person . in the pa...
A. 29 April 2019: Nothing ventured, nothing gained.
I'd say if you CAN afford to spend the 90 pounds then GO for it.
Sometimes getting out of our comfort zone is JUST what is needed.
I have two HIGHLY artistic children and one who is not. I encourage ALL 3 t... (read in full...)
I feel trapped I don't want to hurt him but I want to break up
Q. I think its Time to break up with my bf of 4 yrs He is not a bad guy and we had alot of teething problems when we first got together but we fell in love and he moved in with me and my kids. We had a baby together but during the pregnancy he wasnt as ...
A. 29 April 2019: I think you need to put your kids first and end it with this guy, he needs to be gone.
Your KIDS needs stability, he can't provide that. And then factor in his viewpoints of not only gender roles but also the bigotry - it's JUST not things y... (read in full...)
I just want to know that I am sane. He made me feel crazy
Q. I have posted about this particular man some years back. I met this European man on a dating website. For almost 4 years of whatsapp messages, we have only video called on Skype twice, the first video call was both our ideas and the second video ...
A. 29 April 2019: I have to agree, you are not "sane".
(and I don't mean that in a medical or clinical way, but in a COMMON SENSE way)
I think YOU on purpose talk to men who lives SO far away that a REAL relationship is impossible. And NO, you CAN NOT maintain... (read in full...)
I have trouble when living with someone on how to go about getting them to pay part of the bills
Q. Hello. I am a thirty year old parent of 2 who has had a few short term relationships over the last ten years, but for the most part have lived by myself. It seems that once things start to progress into living together, that i really struggle ...
A. 29 April 2019: One thing I forgot to mention, IT should be FINANCIALLY beneficial for BOTH of you to move in together. AS in you BOTH save some money by living together... Otherwise finances WILL come between you.
... (read in full...)
I have trouble when living with someone on how to go about getting them to pay part of the bills
Q. Hello. I am a thirty year old parent of 2 who has had a few short term relationships over the last ten years, but for the most part have lived by myself. It seems that once things start to progress into living together, that i really struggle ...
A. 29 April 2019: One thing I forgot to mention, IT should be FINANCIALLY beneficial for BOTH of you to move in together. AS in you BOTH save some money by living together... Otherwise finances WILL come between you.
... (read in full...)
Why do people who know your struggles try and tear u down?
Q. Hi everybody. So 2 years ago I was diagnosed with depression and body dysmophia i also suffer from social anxiety but i started medication and got myself out to the gym and i feel great 80% of the time which is amazing for me. Anyways, my body ...
A. 28 April 2019: Good for you for KNOWING what help you (working out) that is really a MAJOR point.
As for your sister. She was being a twat. Accept that and then block her. Easy peasy.
Well, the thing is when you POST (anything) online you EXPOSE yourself ... (read in full...)
I had sex with another man because its what my husband wanted and now he's mad
Q. How can I fix my marriage? We are married 5yrs and both age 27. For 2yrs my husbby has had a fantasy for me to fuck a hung man. I have resisted. We have used this as fantasy sex talk. Fri night we went out together to a bar and met friends. Later ...
A. 28 April 2019: You are 27... OLD enough to KNOW better. playing drunk truth or dare? Having unprotected sex? Sharing your husband's penis size?
SERIOUSLY? Were you TRYING to wreck your marriage?
Just because your husband hand a fantasy of you having sex with ... (read in full...)
I have trouble when living with someone on how to go about getting them to pay part of the bills
Q. Hello. I am a thirty year old parent of 2 who has had a few short term relationships over the last ten years, but for the most part have lived by myself. It seems that once things start to progress into living together, that i really struggle ...
A. 28 April 2019: I think the more those things are SPOKEN about (especially BEFORE someone moved in) the better.
There will always be "his bills" and "your bills" that should be separate but talking about the SHARED ones, like utilities, food, toiletri... (read in full...)
Is it possible for a guy in his late teens/early 20s to fantasise or admire a woman in her late 40s/early 50s??
Q. Younger Men to Older Woman age gap. - Is it possible for a guy in his late teens/early 20s to fantasise or admire a woman in her late 40s/early 50s?? I get along well with a young man who is from a different country, much younger than me and fro...
A. 28 April 2019: Sure, why not?
But I do think (like WiseOwlE) pointed out that you need to use common sense here too.
While it's LOVELY to be adored (at any age) Most women (and men) who get taken for a mug, scammed or USED for (usually) monetary gain...... (read in full...)
I know I can't trust him again but I also want to tell him let's work on it and can figure it out. What is wrong with me?
Q. I've been dating a guy for about 2.5 months who is going through a separation. He has treated me better than anyone I've been with before and I was really starting to imagine a life with him. The gestures he made, how he made me feel, our ...
A. 27 April 2019: Yep, you are banking on the "what could be" not reality and WHAT IS.
He is STILL married. Legally. And going on vacation with said WIFE and kids. And... LYING to you about it. THAT does show something really unpleasant. In the way he thinks o... (read in full...)
Do you believe in reincarnation or soulmates?
Q. Do any of you believe in reincarnation or soulmates? My partner and I have such a deep connection that was so instant that it was like we've known each other for years. So I was just curious if anyone else has experienced anything similar. ...
A. 27 April 2019: No. I don't.
Doesn't mean it isn't true or reality. It just means it makes no sense with a "soul mate" to me.
I think there are just some people we connect with easier, share things in common with, bond with etc.
I think (personally) that ... (read in full...)
What rules/boundaries/routines to set out when finding a housemate/flatmate?
Q. Hi all, simple questions really, but still needs detailed thought and I’m struggling to think of everything. When finding a housemate/flatmate what am I supposed to look for? Also, what are the rules/boundaries/routines/etc to set out? Do you set ...
A. 27 April 2019: I think AS IT IS your house, you CAN set rules, they can CHOOSE to not rent a room from you if the rules are just too much for them.
Though I DO think they have to be reasonable as well.
Consider drafting a roommate agreement that all p... (read in full...)
What happens when male and female best friends share a bed for the night?
Q. I recently moved into my own apartment. It's a one bedroom and I don't have any furniture. My long time female friend plans to stay over this weekend so that she can 1. see the place and 2. not have to go all the way home after we watch a movie ...
A. 27 April 2019: Get an air mattress. They aren't that expensive.
If that is a no-go, then like Youcannotbeserious mentioned, WEAR something like sweatpants and T and keep to YOUR side of the bed.
FWIW I have slept in the same bed as a male friend several t... (read in full...)
My partner is giving his children extra money and I'm not happy about it
Q. So I have been with a man for a little over 2 years now. He has two children from a previous marriage. He pays child support for these children. Everyone gets along, there are no hard feelings about anything. On the children's most recent ...
A. 25 April 2019: These are his kids. THEY should be his priority.
It wasn't the mother who TOLD him to hand over more money for stuff, it was HIS choice. My guess is because he can then still be part of their trip even if it is in "money form".
My husband pa... (read in full...)
Is Rimming really as risky as they say?
Q. OK so this is a bit embarrassing, which is why I'm posting this anonymously but basically me and my boyfriend have been 'experimenting' in the bedroom lately and decided to try anal sex/play. I wasn't a fan of the sex as it hurt quite a bit but what ...
A. 25 April 2019: You could use something like a "barrier" like Dental Dam. You can even get those flavored (Walmart sells them) Just do a google search for them. While you may not be a fan of the idea. I think You should read up up E.coli some more and perhaps they ... (read in full...)
Despite all the nonsense I still wanted him but the "Facebook relationship" woman he's never met in real life reaps all the benefits
Q. He is a typical Mr Unavailable. We were close once and we’d text all the time. I was coming out of a destructive relationship and soon our involvement became romantic. Despite his advances and “promises”, he was just unable to commit to a ...
A. 24 April 2019: You need to get your head out of the past.
OK, he was a sweetheart when he was 15. PEOPLE change.
Do you really think HOW he has treated you AND this woman overseas as "sweet" behavior? For goodness sake! He is looking actively to cheat on her,... (read in full...)
I don't think he's over his ex yet. What should I do now?
Q. To cut a long story short...A guy I’ve dated previously (but never been in a relationship with) and someone who remained a friend for about 5 years suddenly exited his toxic relationship of six months. I hadn’t seen this friend in a year or so but ...
A. 24 April 2019: I think you NEED to listen to your gut as well as COMMON SENSE.
Someone who has been in a toxic relationship USUALLY takes a LOT longer to work through it and move on. Even if it was a short relationship.
You jumped in WAY too soon. It was nic... (read in full...)
Should I let this guy go since he treats any kind of way?
Q. Hello, so I met this guy in september 2017. Someone told him about me from his church. He was looking for someone to help promote his business. After he sent his phone number by someone from the church and kept sending messages for me to call him ...
A. 24 April 2019: Good grief lady!
YES you need to kick him out ASAP!
He moved in with you without even ASKING, he just ASSUMED that you would now take care of him, and you did... even financially! Something YOU DID NOT owe him!
You seem like such a dece... (read in full...)
Despite all the nonsense I still wanted him but the "Facebook relationship" woman he's never met in real life reaps all the benefits
Q. He is a typical Mr Unavailable. We were close once and we’d text all the time. I was coming out of a destructive relationship and soon our involvement became romantic. Despite his advances and “promises”, he was just unable to commit to a ...
A. 22 April 2019: I have to agree with Youcannotbeserious,
You think that HE believes she is "better" than you and that is why he has a Facebook online relationship with HER, and not one in person WITH YOU.
Just like HE doesn't REALLY want to commit, YOU only... (read in full...)
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