I think I am being manipulated into being Plan B
Q. My ex who dated me for almost 5 years suddenly blocked me on whatsapp and 3 weeks later sent me a break up letter. I did not react but I cried and still cry. I went online 2 days ago and saw that his ex wife has new pictures in his new house wh...
A. 14 April 2019: He can't MANIPULATE you into being Plan B, unless you WANT to be Plan B.
That is nonsense that you think your only choice is to sit on the shelf and wait for him to decide what he wants to do!
BLOCK, DELETE, UNFRIEND and move on.
Mail back... (read in full...)
I have feelings for a younger woman that's moved into my home and I don't know what I should do
Q. Dear 'Cupid' I have been in a sexless relationship for over a year and we finally split up. My evenings became about beer and take out and over many months I put on weight and didn't bother with dating or about the opposite sex barely at all. ...
A. 14 April 2019: OP, it's not so much your age that "can" make you come across as creepy.
Creepy can be any age. Like WiseOwlE so fully explained, it's your age combined with you being in that "place of power".
Let's say you hit on her or told her how attracte... (read in full...)
If he takes days to respond, is he not interested?
Q. I met this guy online a few months ago, we live an hour away from each other. We were talking casually for about a month before meeting up. We had a great date and ended up hooking up afterwards. I wasn't planning on it but it sort of happened when ...
A. 14 April 2019: I have to agree, IF he was really interested, he would AT LEAST reply and not leave you "on red" until it suits HIM to answer.
I'd look elsewhere for someone you can ACTUALLY get to know in person.
... (read in full...)
I have neve wanted children, husband is being pressured to adopt his orphaned nephew
Q. My husband and I are both 29 and child free by choice. His sister and her husband, both 40, passed away in a car accident two months ago. They left behind a 9 year old who is currently living with my husband's parents. Long story short, his paren...
A. 13 April 2019: I can definitely see both sides here.
Personally? I don't think I could have it in my HEART to let a nephew go into the system because I didn't want any more kids (or kids at all). There is just no way I'd let that happen.
If my husband threa... (read in full...)
Looking back forces me to ask myself if every relationship is different.
Q. I was going through old files and found a video of me singing with my ex... Yeah I know I can already see the "bad idea! Bad idea!!" red flags going up haha I'm long since over it. Today it's like a painful lesson that has taught me more empathy ...
A. 13 April 2019: I think it's kind of sad and unfair that you hold your FIANCE "emotionally hostage" because an ex-BF hurt you in the past.
HE is NOT your EX-BF.
And you can not TREAT every man like he could potentially turn out to BE your like your EX-BF.
I... (read in full...)
I'd like to be more than friend's ... and am debating whether to send a fb request
Q. So I’m wondering when it’s appropriate to add someone on Facebook. I’ve had a crush on a girl for a while but I haven’t really got the guts to talk to her, we’ve spoken briefly but it’s in her work and I think it’s inappropriate to flirt with ...
A. 13 April 2019: I think instead of adding her on Facebook, GIVE her your number and tell her to call you if she is interested in meeting for a cup of coffee.
If she doesn't call... then you know SHE isn't interested and there will be no awkward social media "h... (read in full...)
Am I being paranoid about HPV?
Q. Hi What are the chances of me getting hpv from one single encounter without condom or one single act of oral? The guy had no signs or symptoms. I got my std panel but there is no testing for hpv. How do I make sure I’m clear? I don’t have any...
A. 13 April 2019: Unfortunately, HPV is one of those viruses/STD's that most adults come across in their life time. Using a condom doesn't prevent the spread of the virus (as you can get SOME of the many types of HPV) from skin contact.
And unfortunately, YOU CAN ... (read in full...)
IVF - is it painful to do eggs retrieval without general anaesthetic?
Q. I've just started IVF and wondered if any woman here has done this process, and if its possible for them to do the eggs retrieval without being under general anaesthetic. I am really scared of generals and my fertility doctor tried to relax me by ...
A. 12 April 2019: I haven' had this done so I can't answer fro ma personal experience point of view.
But I would venture a guess that they want you sedated for safety and pain-management reasons. In a way it's like having wisdom teeth out, the oral surgeon might PR... (read in full...)
I have feelings for a younger woman that's moved into my home and I don't know what I should do
Q. Dear 'Cupid' I have been in a sexless relationship for over a year and we finally split up. My evenings became about beer and take out and over many months I put on weight and didn't bother with dating or about the opposite sex barely at all. ...
A. 12 April 2019: I would advice against pursuing this young woman.
1. she is your tenant and just THINK how awkward it will be if she isn't AT ALL interested?!
2. She is MUCH younger and in a different stage of her life.
3. She seeming seems to be into... (read in full...)
She seems like a nice girl, but I think she is also a fake profile who follows me
Q. Hi ladies and gentlemen Sorry, this is going to be a long and very weird story. I met a girl, we spent 1 day together (platonic) and it was nice. we kept in touch and grew closer but we live 9 hours by car away from each other so didn't see ea...
A. 12 April 2019: Yep, I agree with N91
STOP wasting your time. IF she is following you (still) on any account) I'd contact your friends and let them know to delete her if they wish as you presume she is stalking you through them. And then BLOCK and delete her too.... (read in full...)
I have to have dinner with the girl who rejected me!
Q. Hi To keep a long story short, I have to have dinner with the girl who rejected me, her parents and a few of her other friends. It's the first time I've seen her since she rejected me a few weeks ago. We're trying to be friends but i just ...
A. 11 April 2019: Good for you OP!
Glad it wasn't as horrible as you had expected and that you OBVIOUSLY made a good impression :)
Unfortunately, doing things we don't really WANT to is part of the "human experience" - how badly it turns out is usually up to us... (read in full...)
How do you break up after 2 dates with a nice person?
Q. How do you break it off with someone who has been very nice and seems very keen but is maybe a bit too full on after 2 dates? What words would you use to not hurt their feelings?...
A. 11 April 2019: I wanted to add IF you are the guy who posted the other question about the Vegan lady, then maybe you could say - "I just feel we are too different in so many areas."
Because that is NOT a negative way to end things and it doesn't REALLY require ... (read in full...)
Are these warning signs after a second date? Should I give it a go or run?
Q. Hi all, I am mentally quite stuck and would really appreciate some advice. A bit of background. I am 35 years old and have had 2 relationships in my life. One for 3 years from the age of 24 and one for 6 years from the age of 28. Both were fl...
A. 11 April 2019: I think you should RUN for the hills.
Sorry. The woman has WAY too much baggage and personal hang-ups.
I don't care of people want to be vegan, vegetarians or eat whatever they want, but for someone to "have" to AVERT their eyes when you ge... (read in full...)
How do you break up after 2 dates with a nice person?
Q. How do you break it off with someone who has been very nice and seems very keen but is maybe a bit too full on after 2 dates? What words would you use to not hurt their feelings?...
A. 11 April 2019: I would tell the person that you have enjoyed their company but don't feel the chemistry is there. Then wish the person well and CUT all contact.
YOU DO NOT OWE a LONG winded explanation.
If they want more details, I'd just say "I don't think t... (read in full...)
I think I got HPV from my new boyfriend which could only mean he's cheating on me, right?
Q. I think my new boyfriend is cheating on me. I have recently been to the doctors because i am so tired and have a problem on my throat / back of my mouth. We use protection so i know im not pregnant. The doctor told me i have hpv. I know the only ...
A. 10 April 2019: Most sexually active people are likely to be exposed to HPV at some point, though most never have visible symptoms and remain unaware.
here are over 100 types of HPV, about 30 of which are primarily associated with anogenital skin and sexual t... (read in full...)
Does anyone have any advice on dating a divorced man with 2 young children?
Q. Does anyone have any advice on dating a divorced man with 2 young boys (2 and 3 years old)? He's 6 years older than I am and from the moment we met, there was an instant connection. He treats me much better than I've ever been before and I believe ...
A. 9 April 2019: I think waiting 3-5 more months before introducing you to the kids is a good thing. And then DO it gradually.
Have the first couple of meet up be at a park/playground and be short (30/45 minutes) and LET them come to you, not you TRYING the beco... (read in full...)
I'm not really into the new guy. Do I give him a chance or am I wasting my time?
Q. I have been single for 6 months and have recently got back into dating. I say dating - I have met up with one person so far as the 'pool' is so small where I live - even online. The guy I have met is nice. He is sweet, kind, laid back but I ...
A. 9 April 2019: Honestly?
I think you are trying to run before you can walk. In the sense that you are perhaps expecting a whole relationship after only a few weeks.
You CAN NOT know a person that well after a few weeks, sex or no sex.
BUT you can determine... (read in full...)
I am willing but don't want to move too fast.
Q. Dear Cupid I am single and have been for the last 20 yrs. Only thingvI do is work and come home to an empty house my children are grown and on their own. I really want to get back out in the dating world but I am afraid of getting hurt again my pass ...
A. 8 April 2019: If you worry about pregnancy and a condom splitting then GET YOURSELF on birth control too.
With BOTH the pill/IUD/implant AND condom the likelihood of an oooopsie is pretty low.
That will also give you another REASON to keep the dates sex f... (read in full...)
Father-to-be thinks his life is now over - will he change?
Q. My finance and I are expecting our first child very soon. We have been together for 10 years and previously had a miscarriage which was very hard. Through out my pregnancy, he only goes through phases where he is interested in it. I get no add...
A. 8 April 2019: My husband got 3 days "paternity leave" with out first child. He was due on a course that he head been on wait-list for for a year and he REALLY wanted to go and the Army really wanted him to go. So He actually left for the course the DAY after I ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend keeps trying to compete with my wealthy family.
Q. I'm confused about this man who likes me. I come from a wealthy family, and i promise that I never brag about it. Basically, this man who's interested in me told me that he likes me. But, he keeps telling me how independent he is, how many ...
A. 8 April 2019: You know this will ONLY escalate if you decide to date him.
He feels inadequate (financially) compared to you. THAT isn't going to stop even if you tell him material stuff doesn't matter. BECAUSE it matters to him. So if you tell him it doesn't ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend won't tell anyone that I'm a part of his life and I feel like a dirty secret
Q. My Boyfriend refuses to tell anyone about me he claims he is private . He won't even tell his parents about me claims he is fighting with his Mother... yet she text him every day he visits her at Christmas and she just sent him flowers. This has ...
A. 8 April 2019: You have been with him for 2 years and you are still a secret?
Well, I guess it could be 1 or 2 of SEVERAL reasons.
1. He wants to keep you to himself because his MOM treats the women he HAS introduced as HER personal playmates. I mea... (read in full...)
I regret the flings that I had with strangers
Q. I was never a hookup person but I’ve had a fling after I heard a lot of “you are single , experiment”. I didn’t regret it much. I’ve had another after a few months but I was supposedly in a very short romantic thing with him before I ended it. ...
A. 8 April 2019: Well, OP did you LEARN from your actions?
It seems to me, like you did.
Beating yourself up won't change the fact that you behaved in a way that you NOW don't feel proud of. No amount of self-flagellation or self-hate will change the past.... (read in full...)
I have to have dinner with the girl who rejected me!
Q. Hi To keep a long story short, I have to have dinner with the girl who rejected me, her parents and a few of her other friends. It's the first time I've seen her since she rejected me a few weeks ago. We're trying to be friends but i just ...
A. 8 April 2019: I love FA's suggestion :)
BUT you probably don't want to bring another date to this dinner.
My advice? ACCEPT that she turned you down. IT happens. And then ACCEPT that PART of adulting is doing social event things you really could do without... (read in full...)
I still resent the way my husband proposed to me.
Q. I wanted to see if I’m being sensitive or not, I can’t get over the fact after 6 years of marriage with two kids of how my husband proposed. We’ve been dating for 5 years before he propose and the way he did it makes me sad till to this day. I see ...
A. 8 April 2019: Oh, that IS a horrible proposal, OP
The thing is, you CAN NOT change the past and... YOU said yes instead of telling him to DO better on the proposal if he wanted you to accept.
You BOTH made it what is was.
HOW a guy proposes really has ... (read in full...)
He seems to have cut off all feelings for everyone!
Q. I have been seeing a guy for a few month we are friends and he knows i like him more than that. He said he doesnt want to hurt me and would stop the fun we are having. I dont want to stop the fun and it wont be more than what we have but a few times ...
A. 7 April 2019: So he wants the GF-experience but NOT the GF.
THAT isn't going to change. He is ACTUALLY fine being single and mingle with whomever and when that "whomever" gets to attached he ends it and moves on.
WHICH is what he is trying to do with you, ... (read in full...)
I am willing but don't want to move too fast.
Q. Dear Cupid I am single and have been for the last 20 yrs. Only thingvI do is work and come home to an empty house my children are grown and on their own. I really want to get back out in the dating world but I am afraid of getting hurt again my pass ...
A. 7 April 2019: I agree fully with Youcannotbeserious,
DO NOT have "home-dates" until you have an exclusive relationship you can SEE a future with. (so really not for quite a while).
Cooking in your place is a nice way to spend time, I get it, but it also ... (read in full...)
I cannot flirt, create a spark or connect sexually with women
Q. I find it impossible to give off sexual vibes. I revert straight into a friendship style of communication. If there’s ever any slight indication of sexual interest from someone I freak out and go into a seemingly calm and causal interaction which ...
A. 6 April 2019: Not everyone flirts.
And not everyone is GOOD at flirting when they DO try.
But flirting IS a way to communicate INTEREST beyond friendship. For some it's just second nature, they flirts REGARDLESS of romantic interest. So you see there isn't ... (read in full...)
He seems to have cut off all feelings for everyone!
Q. I have been seeing a guy for a few month we are friends and he knows i like him more than that. He said he doesnt want to hurt me and would stop the fun we are having. I dont want to stop the fun and it wont be more than what we have but a few times ...
A. 5 April 2019: People (read, GUYS) who tell you they don't KNOW what they want... well, they DO NOT want you.
It's really THAT simple. Sure, it doesn't FEEL that great that someone will mess around with you, hook up with you but otherwise wants nothing REALLY s... (read in full...)
I have a crush on my boss - How do I get over it, and fast?
Q. Hi there - thank you for reading... So I am a Personal Assistant (Secretary in some countries) and I have a really good working relationship with my boss. My issue is that I have started dreaming about him and have started to develop a bit of...
A. 5 April 2019: You keep romance and work separate.
THAT is how you deal with it. BE professional at work, which means no flirting, nothing to personal shared, keep it to WORK related topics.
Whether his GF is a total both or not, IS irrelevant. No o... (read in full...)
Social media, should we comment face to face on what we see on facebook?
Q. Am a long time facebook and instaG/twitter user, and like many of us have “friends” and “followers” who are not really friends. Like colleagues, aquaintances, even family/siblings I never see and who do not comment on my posts.. So.. regar...
A. 5 April 2019: Asking someone you work with if they had a great weekend or days off, I think it totally fine. I just wouldn't MENTION that you say on social media that they did XYZ. THAT is for them to share, IF they wish. While that might sound a little ODD as ... (read in full...)
His insensitive comment makes me want to just leave him!
Q. I've been with boyfriend for 8 years now. We have had our bad patches and arguments, but the past couple of years have been really good, good communication, great sex, laughter, good times generally. We don't live together due to work commitments in ...
A. 5 April 2019: I don't know if you are just a tad sensitive about your body or if you are jumping to conclusion based on dumb stuff he has said in the past... NEITHER do you, it seems.
I think before you throw a fit and go home you NEED to have a talk and ASK ... (read in full...)
His words say "just friends" but his actions say otherwise!
Q. I've become very close friends with another guy over the past 2 years (both of us gay). He's so warm and natural to be around. After the first six months of our friendship I told him I had feelings for him but he said he was just looking to be ...
A. 5 April 2019: No, you don't just "go for it" you TALK to him and ask him if he would like to make a go of it together.
If you start getting TOO tactile/physical and he REALLY doesn't want to go there, thing will get pretty awkward.
USE your words, man.... (read in full...)
My older boyfriend wants me to pretend to be his daughter.
Q. I dont think age should matter in a true loving relationship. My dad thinks otherwise and so I have moved out and anto my bf's place a few months ago. Although he is about 10 years older than me he is just so adorable. I like so love him to pieces ...
A. 5 April 2019: He LIED when he said he wanted you to "role-play" daddy issues and father daughter to HELP you with your relationship with your real dad.
It's a FETISH for him.
He wants the "kink" of being called Daddy. Why else would he be dating a woman y... (read in full...)
Should I burn bridges with my new employer to move to another country?
Q. Hi all, I was hoping for some advice. I have recently accepted a job offer after some fairly vigorous interviews. On accepting the job is was sent through a timetable stating it was actually an apprenticeship and that the first 3 weeks would...
A. 5 April 2019: Good luck, I hope you get your Visa!
Sometimes you HAVE to take a risk. And you having shown some foresight and DECENCY towards a new employer is definitely something that WON'T bite you on the ass.
... (read in full...)
Should I burn bridges with my new employer to move to another country?
Q. Hi all, I was hoping for some advice. I have recently accepted a job offer after some fairly vigorous interviews. On accepting the job is was sent through a timetable stating it was actually an apprenticeship and that the first 3 weeks would...
A. 5 April 2019: Good luck, I hope you get your Visa!
Sometimes you HAVE to take a risk. And you having shown some foresight and DECENCY towards a new employer is definitely something that WON'T bite you on the ass.
... (read in full...)
Should I burn bridges with my new employer to move to another country?
Q. Hi all, I was hoping for some advice. I have recently accepted a job offer after some fairly vigorous interviews. On accepting the job is was sent through a timetable stating it was actually an apprenticeship and that the first 3 weeks would...
A. 4 April 2019: Personally, I'd be going for the NZ dream.
I would decline the job offer NOW before you are about to start, so THEY can find a new candidate. Rather than starting the job and then leaving before you are done with it all. That would be sorta "h... (read in full...)
My husband is selfish, I am thinking of enlisting in the military.
Q. My husband would not let me see his cell phone last night. I wanted to see the pictures from a birthday party, he said "No, I would go through his phone" and if I trusted him then I wouldnt have a issue with it. I am a stay at home mother 3 kids, he ...
A. 4 April 2019: So why not just ASK him to send you the pictures to YOUR phone? So you can have then and look at them whenever?
I don't see what he NOT wanting you to go through his phone has to do with you enlisting? At all.
As a family, that would be somethi... (read in full...)
2 babies with another woman and he's married to me. I want a divorce!
Q. I have been married for 4years and just before I got married my husband and I were on a short break. During that break, my husband (then fiance) slept with one of his friends. I did not find out until one month after we got married. And 4 months ...
A. 4 April 2019: When he suggest "counseling" to make the marriage work, what he REALLY is saying is that YOU should just ACCEPT what he did and move on.
Counseling will NOT make him a changed man.
And IF HE after father ONE kid, continued to CHEAT on you... ... (read in full...)
We have 3 children already and I'm exhausted. How do I tell my husband I want an abortion?
Q. How do I tell my husband I want an abortion. We have three kids together already and frankly, I'm exhausted. I'm a stay at home mom and often find myself being the sole caregiver because he's working. Hes said in the past that hes pro-choi...
A. 3 April 2019: This must be a tough place to be in.
I have 3 kids as well (all teens now ) so I feel your exhaustion. However, I think that you REALLY need to have a LONG LONG talk with your husband about what you feel you can handle, what you NEED (more he... (read in full...)
I'm unhappy in my relationship but feel stuck because we live together and share a rental contract.
Q. So backstory: I've been in a relationship for 2 years and recently I've been thinking a lot about how he doesn't really make me happy anymore. I've spoken to a few friends about this and they have suggested breaking up which is much easier said than ...
A. 3 April 2019: Talk to your landlord about your ending the rental contract earlier. And talk to your Bf and end it if you no longer want to be with him.
As for the coworker, nope... don't go there. Not now. Dating in the work place RARELY works out. And you REAL... (read in full...)
Does he care or not care ... he keeps contacting me.
Q. I have an ex who reached out to me six months after ghosting me, and tries to pretend nothing came between us. I don’t respond, and he later replies in a passive aggressive manner as if to say “don’t worry I don’t care anyway”. A bit of history, ...
A. 3 April 2019: No, I don't think he REALLY cares. Not about you. Himself and his ego? YES, he cares DEEPLY about that.
Don't TRY and be his friend, don't leave yourself open to him reaching out when he is bored. JUST block, delete and forget about this guy.
... (read in full...)
2 babies with another woman and he's married to me. I want a divorce!
Q. I have been married for 4years and just before I got married my husband and I were on a short break. During that break, my husband (then fiance) slept with one of his friends. I did not find out until one month after we got married. And 4 months ...
A. 1 April 2019: Whether he FATHERED those two children or not, HE was unfaithful and thus a "bad husband". Even IF he DNA test show he isn't the father. If he IS the father, then financially, he IS responsible for children he produces whether he is married to the ... (read in full...)
| *oneypie's friends
These are mutual friends, so *oneypie has
added them and they have added *oneypie!
|
