Despite all the nonsense I still wanted him but the "Facebook relationship" woman he's never met in real life reaps all the benefits
Q. He is a typical Mr Unavailable. We were close once and we’d text all the time. I was coming out of a destructive relationship and soon our involvement became romantic. Despite his advances and “promises”, he was just unable to commit to a ...
A. 24 April 2019: You need to get your head out of the past.
OK, he was a sweetheart when he was 15. PEOPLE change.
Do you really think HOW he has treated you AND this woman overseas as "sweet" behavior? For goodness sake! He is looking actively to cheat on her,... (read in full...)
Should I let this guy go since he treats any kind of way?
Q. Hello, so I met this guy in september 2017. Someone told him about me from his church. He was looking for someone to help promote his business. After he sent his phone number by someone from the church and kept sending messages for me to call him ...
A. 24 April 2019: Good grief lady!
YES you need to kick him out ASAP!
He moved in with you without even ASKING, he just ASSUMED that you would now take care of him, and you did... even financially! Something YOU DID NOT owe him!
You seem like such a dece... (read in full...)
I think my friend is after someone I want to date. She has a reputation of doing this
Q. I think my friend is chatting up the man she knows i want to be with. I have been talking to a man off a dating site had many dates and seeing how things go. My friend was on the same site but left because she thought she found someone but it didnt ...
A. 23 April 2019: First of all, if she has done this before to you, WHY are you sharing details that gives her ACCESS to the guy you are dating? That is stupid. Friend or not.
You know what she is like, so don't presume she won't do it again because that is NOT w... (read in full...)
He doesn't seem to want to be my friend after I 'rejected' him, is he playing games?
Q. Hi everyone! So I became friends with this guy about a year ago, we work in similar types of jobs (not together) and we get on, mostly speaking through mutual friends. He's very different to me, I'm quite a girly girl, and he's quite nerdy, but we ...
A. 23 April 2019: Just leave the poor guy be. Block and let go.
Focus on your new relationship and leave that guy alone, you don't NEED him around to stroke your ego, that is your BF's job. And you weren't being a good friend to him either so the whole "we can be f... (read in full...)
Cock Teasing Wife
Q. Wife, with already killer body, lost 12 lbs on some diet shes doing and started wearing tighter clothes when she goes out. This was fine until she started wearing more revealing clothes and her trips out became longer and later at night. I tried to ...
A. 23 April 2019: Do you just sit at home while she goes out?
If so, then why don't you GO out too? (not saying to pick up women but to SHOW her how it feels). If you can't or don't want to go out, ask her HOW she would feel if you went out chatting up other wo... (read in full...)
What is the best way to reject this persistent guy?
Q. There is a guy at work (we work in separate departments) and he is always trying to chat me up. I thought he just wanted to be friends a "friendly co-worker" relationship, but I bought up about a vacation trip and said I went with someone and his ...
A. 23 April 2019: I think N91 is right on the money,
JUST use that sentence there.
‘I’m getting the feeling that you’re interested in something romantic here but i'm not interested and don’t get involved with people at work’.
And then BE OK with NOT having to... (read in full...)
My SIL is trying to cut me out of her children's lives saying I am the reason she has bad relationships with them
Q. Hi all, I am really struggling. Since the day they were each born, I have been like a second Mom to my nieces. I have such special relationships with each of them, am the Godmother of #2 and I love them like they were my own kids. Throughout their...
A. 23 April 2019: As a mother I would LOVE to have a SIL that was so involved in my kids' lives.
It is EASIER to blame YOU, than take responsibility got her failure to have a good relationship with her daughters.
There is a BIG difference between being a ... (read in full...)
How do we move past what I did?
Q. Just a little background to begin.Married for 16 years,2 teenage kids,work and money have been a huge source of stress for the past year.My wife is often gone with one of my children out of town for sports most weekends for the past 2 years. over ...
A. 22 April 2019: My advice?
Seek out legal advice ASAP.
And perhaps you should look into HER phone bill as well. I wouldn't be surprised if you was just waiting for you to be pushed enough to do something she could use to kick you out.
Don't discuss ANYTHIN... (read in full...)
Despite all the nonsense I still wanted him but the "Facebook relationship" woman he's never met in real life reaps all the benefits
Q. He is a typical Mr Unavailable. We were close once and we’d text all the time. I was coming out of a destructive relationship and soon our involvement became romantic. Despite his advances and “promises”, he was just unable to commit to a ...
A. 22 April 2019: I have to agree with Youcannotbeserious,
You think that HE believes she is "better" than you and that is why he has a Facebook online relationship with HER, and not one in person WITH YOU.
Just like HE doesn't REALLY want to commit, YOU only... (read in full...)
I like a girl and I don't have any expectations of her liking me back. How do I tell her about my feelings?
Q. Hi So to cut a long story short. I really like a girl, I believed she liked me for a while but now I think she doesn't. It's mixed signals which usually means they're not into you. I can't really move on until I know for sure as I always want t...
A. 21 April 2019: How well do you know her?
I think "professing" your feelings to someone you don't know all that well is NOT a good idea.
Instead WHY not just up the interactions? Talk more with her, maybe ask her out for movie/lunch/coffee?
If she declines... (read in full...)
It looks like he's lost interest after we had sex. How do I get him interested in me again?
Q. I met a guy a couple years ago (let's call him Adam), and it was immediately clear he liked me, but I had a boyfriend. We hung out a handful of times over the next 2 years, but I kept it friendly. I recently broke up with my boyfriend, so Adam and I ...
A. 21 April 2019: EDIT...
He might BE interested in more than sex, but his actions does really show that.
Should have been:
He might BE interested in more than sex, but his actions DOESN'T really show that.
Sorry.... (read in full...)
It looks like he's lost interest after we had sex. How do I get him interested in me again?
Q. I met a guy a couple years ago (let's call him Adam), and it was immediately clear he liked me, but I had a boyfriend. We hung out a handful of times over the next 2 years, but I kept it friendly. I recently broke up with my boyfriend, so Adam and I ...
A. 21 April 2019: First of all, it's Easter - so many people do stuff with their families.
Second of all, I think he got what he wanted from you. He might have build this fantasy of you and when you were the "aggressor" sexually YOU changed that fantasy and he c... (read in full...)
What's wrong with my friend? Or am I not reading him correctly?
Q. Can a friend be acting different or is it just me. I have a friend from childhood. Every time something good is happening in my life he seems to disappear. For example he heard some bad news from a mutual friend that I had lost my job. And as a ...
A. 21 April 2019: I agree with N91,
It's not like he heard the bad news and wanted to support you, no he wanted to ENJOY your bad situation.
I would definitely NOT call this guy a friend and I would look for new friends. This one isn't worth it.
Some frie... (read in full...)
What's wrong with me? I've always been conditioned to want certain things out of life but none of them fit my idea of my most honest self
Q. How can I accept who I am? for the last 30 years all I have been conditioned to want is 1. Get married 2. Buy a house 3. Make babies and compete with your neighbor to show who is happier - fancier - richer etc . My family is quite dysfunc...
A. 21 April 2019: I wouldn't call it "being conditioned". After all, it's kind of the "natural" progression - at least finding a mate and procreate.
Does it mean ALL people do that? Well, no.
While you MOM and FAMILY might have certain hopes and dreams FOR you, ... (read in full...)
How would you feel if your doctor hugged you?
Q. My medical doctor started giving me hugs at the end of our regular appointments. The first time he just initiated a hug; the second time he said "I hope you don't mind me hugging you. I have been working with him for about a year. How would you ...
A. 21 April 2019: Does it matter how I would feel?
HOW do you feel?
If you felt it's inappropriate, then DO tell him.
If you don't, then maybe you have a WAY TOO tactile boss and maybe you are OK with it because you like the guy?
I don't really think it... (read in full...)
How could I allow this guy to use me for sex?! I feel awful and I've lost all trust in men!
Q. I’ve recently came out of a long term relationship so I’m very new to dating.when I went out with friends I met a great guy, we chatted a lot and there was an instant spark between us, we exchanged numbers, we spoke a lot over the phone for about a ...
A. 21 April 2019: OP, I know it sucks to discover that someone hoodwinked you and you weren't paying attention.
Don't BEAT yourself up over this and don't beat him up (on social media) either. It's JUST not worth it.
BLOCK, DELETE and UNFRIEND.
And... (read in full...)
I looked in fiance's tablet to find out he lied to me about where he was. Where do I go from here?
Q. My fiancé plays soccer once a week with our mutual friends and also invites his colleagues. I tried it a few times but wasn’t into it and stopped going. Up until a month ago he would come home around 8 and we would have dinner together. Then, one ...
A. 20 April 2019: Since you already did your "wrong" in this situation why not just call him out on it?
No tears or drama, but tell him you think you two need to talk and that you DO NOT appreciate being lied to.
If this had been an "innocent work dinner" he ... (read in full...)
How do we move past what I did?
Q. Just a little background to begin.Married for 16 years,2 teenage kids,work and money have been a huge source of stress for the past year.My wife is often gone with one of my children out of town for sports most weekends for the past 2 years. over ...
A. 20 April 2019: Well, I think she was looking for a reason to kick you out.. and you GAVE it to her wrapped with a bow!
Things weren't going well, SHE didn't WANT to improve on them or even talk about them so you did the classic mistake of looking for someone ... (read in full...)
We broke up and now I regret it
Q. So I had been dating this boy for three weeks, and we were in a happy relationship together. He's currently in his last year of school so has to prepare for his exams, so he couldn't talk to me all the time but we agreed that he would keep me posted ...
A. 18 April 2019: Give him space and consider yourself broken up.
I think you both handled this really immaturely. But, given your ages... it's not totally unexpected.
Don't blame your BFF for your own actions. While you might have felt pressured, you s... (read in full...)
Should I tell my former professor how I feel about him?
Q. its been about 6 six years now since I left college and I got along really well with my maths teacher and I started to develop strong passionate feelings towards him , I was aware it was not appropriate so I have never told anyone or him . just...
A. 18 April 2019: No, it's a crush that stuck with you.
You were/are INFATUATED with the man, not in LOVE. Huge difference.
Also, do you know if he is even single? If he is married how on Earth would you justify reaching out to "confess" your feelings? Seriou... (read in full...)
Supplemental: My ex is now posting horrible things about me
Q. Hi everyone, I did post my question earlier this week and i did get good feedback so thank you to those who did help, but I do feel as if I left out a lot of information and it is quite a confusing situation I find myself in so I’d like to give this ...
A. 18 April 2019: I think she is behaving in the manner she has watched her parents act.
They fight a lot and they take it out on her.
When things came to shove, she now takes it out on you. JUST like her parents do with her.
Someone has been feeding her som... (read in full...)
He broke up with me and now I'm pregnant
Q. Hello all! I’m in a tough situation.. So last week my boyfriend broke up with me because of pressure from his family. Here’s the gist of it: We started dating a year and half ago. I’m bi-racial, half black and half Hispanic. He’s Indian. When we ...
A. 18 April 2019: He's already told you that there CAN'T be any relationship, you just CHOSE to ignore it and kept sleeping with him.
NOT a good choice.
He will probably NOT stay with you or marry you because you are pregnant.
You DO owe him (I think) to let... (read in full...)
Does my post break up regret suggest we should stay together?
Q. Hi guys, I feel at a dilemma here. I have been in a relationship with my current BF for 5 months now. I am 26, he is 26. I have asked questions about this relationship on here in the past, basically not wanting to deal with his issues. Most ad...
A. 18 April 2019: Is it regret or is that you feel sorry for him? Or... that you keep entertaining the "perfect World" scenario where he is mentally fine and all is well?
My guess a bit of both.
He DOES have severe anxiety and he DOES feel VERY insecure about y... (read in full...)
One night stand why didn't he call back
Q. To make a long story short, I had sex with a guy from my office last week and he bailed right after. I noticed he had been staring at me over the last several weeks, but we were never introduced. At a late office party at a hotel last week (where I ...
A. 17 April 2019: It WAS a one night stand.
He is having WAY too much on his plate to have anything to offer YOU.
PTSD and a pending divorce?
The guy is STILL married. He left because he know he shouldn't have gone back to your room and he shouldn't have ha... (read in full...)
My Algerian fiance wants $5000 for a student visa?
Q. Hello Thanks in advance for your help. My fiancée and myself live in different countries. I’m Canadian , he is from Algeria. We have been together over 2 years. I have went to see him 6 times in the two years. He has applied for his v...
A. 17 April 2019: Actually, $5,000 seems low. Let me explain.
Canadian student visa requirements also include proof of funds to support yourself. At present this is deemed to be CA$10,000 (~US$7,650) for every year of your stay (CA$11,000/~US$8,400 if you're a... (read in full...)
I’m afraid his drinking will kill him—am I overreacting by giving him this ultimatum?
Q. Hi, My husband and I have been married for 10 years. He is an excessive drinker and over the years I have done everything to help him. He was recently diagnosed with heart failure and i blame myself for not doing more to stop him.When he was ...
A. 16 April 2019: If you do nothing, nothing will change.
However, YOU have to remember and accept that YOU can not MAKE him change or change him.
But you CAN show him that you WANT him to seek help and get healthy so YOU two can continue your marriage, but yo... (read in full...)
She is the one who left me so why is she lashing out and treating me like crap?
Q. I was with this girl for 2 years, and when we were together she told me that she loved me and wanted a life with me. about a month ago she turned around one day and told me she has been unhappy with me for months and broke things off. since then she ...
A. 16 April 2019: Why?
Who knows? Maybe she feels she need to justify dumping you. Maybe she wants attention and maybe she wants YOU to be the "bad" guy in the break up scenario.
WHO knows?
Why are you still following her in social media? Why not just BLOC... (read in full...)
Why does my wife go cold on me when we’re on holiday?
Q. I've just got home from a 2-week cruise around the Caribbean with my parents, my wife and my two kids. It was the holiday of a lifetime and we all had an amazing time. The only downside was that my wife seemed to just ignore me the whole holiday. I ...
A. 16 April 2019: I think you need to talk to her about this.
I would guess that you wife either WAS mad at you or felt "pressured" to act lovey-dovey and didn't feel that way.
However, It's IMPOSSIBLE to KNOW why she acted this way, just like YOU are not a mi... (read in full...)
I have read some horrible things about a singer I loved. Should I stop listening to his music?
Q. I have really enjoyed listening to this person's music ever since I was around 10 , I danced to all his songs and sung them on karaoke at weddings and bought his albums . I have a full bookshelf full of all his greatest hits . He is not alive ...
A. 16 April 2019: OP,
There are plenty of famous people are or were pieces of shit people. (plenty of NOT famous people too!)
Being famous doesn't mean you are a good person.
Talent doesn't equate to being a decent human being.
Can you separate the ar... (read in full...)
I was told my friend doesn't wish to speak to me anymore. Do I ask her about this?
Q. someone who is really horrible and by far the most nasty and manipulative person I have ever met due to multiple reasons inboxed me and told me my friend does not want to speak to me again . I'm not sure if he said this to be hurtful or if he is ...
A. 16 April 2019: TALK to HER and BLOCK him.
If he sent you an e-mail - set his e-mail up to go to the TRASH, if he inboxed you on social media, just block, unfollow, delete etc.
It's NOt up to him whether you two talk or not. Or for him to be the messenger. N... (read in full...)
Do I go meet my grandmother knowing my mother may get upset?
Q. I have never met my mum's mum and she recently sent me a message saying to come to see her in her home city , I'm not sure if I should , as my mum hasn't seen her in over twenty years and I don't even know her and if my mum finds out I feel as ...
A. 16 April 2019: Why not talk to your mom first?
I don't think you NEED your mom's permission to go see your grandmother, but I think hiding it would be a BAD idea. Why not talk?
I get that sometime things happen in families and they cut ties, but unless there... (read in full...)
Can't understand why my lesbian g/f would be taking birth control for the sole purpose of not getting pregnant
Q. I'm struggling how and if to bring this up with my partner as I want to be sensitive and not offend her, I'm not sure if I'm getting red flags or being paranoid. My girlfriend and me are in a long distance relationship. She is having some birt...
A. 16 April 2019: It makes NO sense for her to take birth-control IF she isn't having sex with MEN/a MAN.
So if she isn't taking them to keep her period on time/lower pains with cramps, skin issues, cysts or amount of bleeding - then WHY on Earth would she need the... (read in full...)
Adult son's fiance is too old for him
Q. My wife and I have been aware of our son’s dating preferences since he left home for college. He prefers older women. We believed it was a phase and did our best not to get bent out of shape. We have met several of his older girlfriends over the ...
A. 15 April 2019: OP, don't feel bad about your post OR your feelings.
I ABSOLUTELY understand you. I think most of us actually do. And as HIS parent, you are perhaps a LOT more invested in his future than any of us would EVER be.
I think you only really have... (read in full...)
Is my mother trying to create drama in my life for her amusement?
Q. I've come to realise my mother may perhaps be creating drama in my life to fuel her amusement, however, I could be wrong. I'm 22 years old and my mother is my go-to person for advice for everything. Many incidents have occurred where I feel she is ...
A. 15 April 2019: I would be more firm with your mother when it comes to WHO you invite to YOUR social media.
She might have thought you should add him for WHATEVER reason, but in the end.. it's YOUR Facebook page.
I would have told her:"no, mom I will NOT add h... (read in full...)
Adult son's fiance is too old for him
Q. My wife and I have been aware of our son’s dating preferences since he left home for college. He prefers older women. We believed it was a phase and did our best not to get bent out of shape. We have met several of his older girlfriends over the ...
A. 15 April 2019: As a parent I can understand your concern and upset (yes, I get why you are upset by this). There will be no grand kids, your son will sooner rather than later be her care-giver more than her husband etc.
However, HER loves HER and wants to BE wi... (read in full...)
There is something wrong with me, as soon as we have sex I dump them!
Q. I daydream about sex most if the time.I read about it, and I watch it. I also find dates, the person usually starts to like me and we hit it off, then we have sex, and then I immediatley cut them off, even if i've enjoyed it I just need to find ...
A. 14 April 2019: I think both uncles have great advice.
The biggest... is for you to STOP having casual sex. If you aren't really READY to date, then don't. Take a wee break from dating, just go out with friend and have fun.
When you feel you are ready, then ... (read in full...)
I don't know whether to ask my father for financial help or go overseas for further studies
Q. Dear Cupids, I have a life dilemma. I am 31 and still living with my parents. I am an intuitive person and I understand its time for me to move on to my own apartment. Unfortunately though the salary i make per month cannot sustain me into ...
A. 14 April 2019: Talk to your dad, ASK his advice.
Though SHOW him that you have thought your options over. Such as you KNOW what degree you want to pursue and where and at what COST.
And consider if there is ANYWHERE in your own country/area you can go get t... (read in full...)
My mother threatens to cut me off over the clothes I wear
Q. I'm a 31 year old woman who lives and works away from my parents. My parents were never the overly controlling kind, although my mother is kind of very conservative when it comes to certain things. She doesn't approve of partying or wearing ...
A. 14 April 2019: Is she doing this because she fears for your safety and reputation? Or "just" because she doesn't want her grown daughter to dress in a certain way?
While I think at 31 you are old enough to dress yourself and know WHAT is appropriate in certain ... (read in full...)
Will he take me back even though I have acted like a nutter?
Q. I posted once before - see http://www.dearcupid.org/question/everything-was-perfect-until-he-lost-his-nan.html Since then it’s all been pretty messy.. I went a little psycho for a while, kept trying to contact him etc to which he completely ignor...
A. 14 April 2019: I have to agree with N91,
Let him go. He seems ALL over the place, EVEN trying to hook up with OTHER women at the work place, how LOW can he go?! Friends of yours?!
I think his attention to you is more about him feeling lonely than him wanting... (read in full...)
LDR wont introduce me to his teenager son which means we cant spend some weekends together
Q. I have been in a long distance relationship for 4 months He is 68yrs old has 15 yr old alternate wknds I am 62 one son 28 lives away he wont introduce me to his son so we can spend wknds together Am I being unreasonable? I work f/t m-f ...
A. 14 April 2019: It's too soon for you to be introduced.
4 months is NOT long enough to know that this will lead to something more serious.
On the weekends HE has his son, YOU go socialize with friend and family. And down the road (If you are still together) ... (read in full...)
I suspect my ex set up my (now also an ex), boyfriend to cheat on me.
Q. I've been seeing this guy for about 3 months now. I go to his house every weekend for Friday and Saturday night, and he comes to my house usually to stay the night on Wednesdays. He's been a complete sweetheart to me and we had good plans for the ...
A. 14 April 2019: You are SURE those nudes were his?
AS in did you recognize the pictures?
If you did recognize them, Don't get in touch with him. There is no point.
While it MIGHT have been your ex setting him up, HE (like N91 explained) CHOSE to conv... (read in full...)
I think I am being manipulated into being Plan B
Q. My ex who dated me for almost 5 years suddenly blocked me on whatsapp and 3 weeks later sent me a break up letter. I did not react but I cried and still cry. I went online 2 days ago and saw that his ex wife has new pictures in his new house wh...
A. 14 April 2019: He can't MANIPULATE you into being Plan B, unless you WANT to be Plan B.
That is nonsense that you think your only choice is to sit on the shelf and wait for him to decide what he wants to do!
BLOCK, DELETE, UNFRIEND and move on.
Mail back... (read in full...)
| *oneypie's friends
These are mutual friends, so *oneypie has
added them and they have added *oneypie!
|
