What the heck is wrong with this man and his comments?
Q. Hi guys, my boyfriend and I have been together for 2 years and 2 months, but there is something that I cant quite wrap my finger about and it’s the fact that my boyfriend every time we see a movie, show or whatever on tv and theres a pretty or ...
A. 30 March 2020: Again, control is a thing for him.
He waited 3 days to say hi back to her. So that HE didn't look interested. He OBVIOUSLY wanted to engage her in conversation but AT his terms, which is also why he did a voice mail, maybe also because you coul... (read in full...)
What the heck is wrong with this man and his comments?
Q. Hi guys, my boyfriend and I have been together for 2 years and 2 months, but there is something that I cant quite wrap my finger about and it’s the fact that my boyfriend every time we see a movie, show or whatever on tv and theres a pretty or ...
A. 29 March 2020: Pleasure?
No, it's not about pleasure, it's control. I mean look at how much time you ponder and wonder about things that have nothing to do with you?
If he makes you feel insecure, you will try harder to convince him that you will stand by hi... (read in full...)
What the heck is wrong with this man and his comments?
Q. Hi guys, my boyfriend and I have been together for 2 years and 2 months, but there is something that I cant quite wrap my finger about and it’s the fact that my boyfriend every time we see a movie, show or whatever on tv and theres a pretty or ...
A. 28 March 2020: You ask, "how can I make him do this?"
The answer is, YOU can't. You can't "make" him do anything that HE doesn't want to do.
He is partly content with living with one foot in the past. Maybe to soothe this guilt, maybe to make himself look mor... (read in full...)
What the heck is wrong with this man and his comments?
Q. Hi guys, my boyfriend and I have been together for 2 years and 2 months, but there is something that I cant quite wrap my finger about and it’s the fact that my boyfriend every time we see a movie, show or whatever on tv and theres a pretty or ...
A. 9 March 2020: See, this is where I think he is embellishing...
"So this is the crazy part ,I remember clearly that he said to me that she had told him that since she did not want sex , that he could go and do it with other women, but then when she found ou... (read in full...)
What the heck is wrong with this man and his comments?
Q. Hi guys, my boyfriend and I have been together for 2 years and 2 months, but there is something that I cant quite wrap my finger about and it’s the fact that my boyfriend every time we see a movie, show or whatever on tv and theres a pretty or ...
A. 8 March 2020: Many people have a lot of guilt after someone dies. Whether they are family, friend or... foe.
Because there is ALWAYS things that were unsaid, left open, regrets perhaps? Self examination?
And don't forget, he probably holds on to the GOOD m... (read in full...)
What the heck is wrong with this man and his comments?
Q. Hi guys, my boyfriend and I have been together for 2 years and 2 months, but there is something that I cant quite wrap my finger about and it’s the fact that my boyfriend every time we see a movie, show or whatever on tv and theres a pretty or ...
A. 6 March 2020: You say "he MUST have ulterior motives"... must he though?
I'd say probably, because most GROWN people know this is not exactly proper behavior to do in front of a partner. It shows a lack of common sense, common courtesy and well.... lack of ... (read in full...)
He says he will never marry me, which makes me think I am not good enough.
Q. Hey all been with my partner for a year I've moved in with him and it's going great he has 2 young children who he sees alot and we have a great time together. Hes been married twice and engaged once. I've been engaged twice and married once. We ...
A. 3 March 2020: I don't agree with you, CarrieSoa,
For MANY people marriage DO mean something. Otherwise no one would marry any more. It's not just a "piece of paper".
But I DO get the point that being married doesn't prevent "things" from happening. That ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend wants me to help him through his heroin addiction I'm not sure that I want to
Q. I’ve been with my boyfriend for five months and we really love each other like I’ve neber before we only see each other the weekends as he lives 40 mins away and works nights but that’s changed this weekend he’s back on days and was supposed to be ...
A. 2 March 2020: Honestly?
I think he is asking too much of you. It's ONLY been 5 months and you ONLY see each other on weekends, so while you might FEEL this is going great... obviously there are things you had NO idea went on. Like, serious drug use.
I think... (read in full...)
What the heck is wrong with this man and his comments?
Q. Hi guys, my boyfriend and I have been together for 2 years and 2 months, but there is something that I cant quite wrap my finger about and it’s the fact that my boyfriend every time we see a movie, show or whatever on tv and theres a pretty or ...
A. 2 March 2020: Maybe he knows that HE is the guy with the GF who is "too pretty for him" and yes, he might be insecure because he probably knows you could find someone YOUNGER, more successful and more handsome.
I think most people think that if they have a p... (read in full...)
How do I end this affair with my married lover and father of my child?
Q. Hello everyone, so I know I'm going to get alot of hate for this topic, and I've never seen myself being the type of woman to get myself involved with a married because I know how that ends. But anyway, I have a 9 year old with my ex who is mar...
A. 2 March 2020: I think the "easiest" way to end this is ask him to tell his wife or stop contacting you. (except about your shared child). I bet he rather stop contacting you instead of breaking his wife's heart.
So WHAT if he gets mad or moody? Just stop rep... (read in full...)
Does my best friend like me?
Q. Hi, my best friend and i work together and have always got on well.lots of laughs similar interests etc Lately he has been staring at me and smiling when catch him doing it.yesterday he removed a piece of fluff from my hair and stroked it.Then ...
A. 1 March 2020: You are in your 30's, YOU tell us...
We don't have a crystal ball and we don't know you or him.
The question is this though, Is he married? If he is, ignore his flirtatious behavior.
And are YOU single or married?
If he is single, then c... (read in full...)
Is it someone's fault if their partner is cheating on them? Is it like an excuse to break up? Why can't people just say that they no longer want a relationship instead of cheating?
Q. Hello, I've been in 4 relationships, and every time I get cheated on. And I'm getting so sick of it and I'm almost done with relationships. I would always give my all and give them second chances but they end up doing the same mistake. I feel that ...
A. 1 March 2020: I think the fault you might have... is that 1. you pick the "wrong" kind of guys and with that I mean if you HAVE to give them "second chances" it's likely they WILL screw up again.
You can't MAKE a guy cheat on you, just like you can't MAKE a g... (read in full...)
My boyfriend called me a bigot. What do I do about it?
Q. My boyfriend and I got into a fight. He was doing repair work yesterday on a ceiling in a building where his card club operates out of. There were two other men working with him. All of them volunteered their time. I got angry because he didn't call ...
A. 1 March 2020: What a ridiculous statement!
I think you should apologize for two reasons.
You can't brush ALL gay men with the same brush and you showed more than bigotry with your comments, it shows how little you think of him, how little you respect him.... (read in full...)
He says he will never marry me, which makes me think I am not good enough.
Q. Hey all been with my partner for a year I've moved in with him and it's going great he has 2 young children who he sees alot and we have a great time together. Hes been married twice and engaged once. I've been engaged twice and married once. We ...
A. 1 March 2020: Maybe the two of you will at some point come to a conclusion that will make you both content.
It has only BEEN a year as well. So maybe given some more time there will be some or other compromise and mutual agreement.
Good luck, OP... (read in full...)
I can't forgive somebody who betrayed my trust.
Q. What to do if you can't let go of your grudge from that person. My ex-best friend asks for forgiveness and all my friends forgive her. Well, I stayed silent and didn't give any information. I know, I'm a bad person but how can I forgive someone who ...
A. 1 March 2020: Absolutely agree with CodeWarrior on the "can forgive, but not forget" which I may not have explained well enough in my answer.
I had a BEST friend stab me in the back, it was so sneaky and low and it hurt (this was AGES ago, in our 20's) I droppe... (read in full...)
He says he will never marry me, which makes me think I am not good enough.
Q. Hey all been with my partner for a year I've moved in with him and it's going great he has 2 young children who he sees alot and we have a great time together. Hes been married twice and engaged once. I've been engaged twice and married once. We ...
A. 1 March 2020: Sometimes people have different goals.
You might WANT to be married because it makes you feel safer in the relationship WITH your partner.
He might not. He's been there, done that, twice.
So YOU have to decide HOW important is marriage to... (read in full...)
I feel disrespected because we make plans and his son changes them
Q. Hello everyone I’m reaching out for help as I’m very frustrated. I’m 40 my boyfriend is 42 both divorced and has a kid, same age 12 years old. We have been in a relationship for a year and kids get along well and once in a while we plan for them to ...
A. 1 March 2020: I think this is a hard one to explain to him.
He is letting his 12 year old be in control, because he is guilty about the divorce (that is my guess) I have seen it SO often with kids manipulating their parents especially the dads. Mostly because ... (read in full...)
Men say they cant understand why I am single, yet go on using dating sites!
Q. Over the years I have had some male friends/admirers who are interested in me romantically but either come across as introvert or lacking in confidence I'm not sure. I am an introvert but am confident. We will get on well and flirt but something ...
A. 29 February 2020: Do these guys KNOW you are looking for a partner?
It might also be that they think you are this outgoing and flirtatious woman who is just enjoying some flirt banter while doing insert hobby.
I'd say this if someone told me, I can't understand... (read in full...)
Men say they cant understand why I am single, yet go on using dating sites!
Q. Over the years I have had some male friends/admirers who are interested in me romantically but either come across as introvert or lacking in confidence I'm not sure. I am an introvert but am confident. We will get on well and flirt but something ...
A. 29 February 2020: If you never get off the dating site to go on actual dates, you either have men who really aren't looking for anything serious contact you, or you come across in a manner that they like but don't want in a partner.
You say "we get on well and flir... (read in full...)
I can't forgive somebody who betrayed my trust.
Q. What to do if you can't let go of your grudge from that person. My ex-best friend asks for forgiveness and all my friends forgive her. Well, I stayed silent and didn't give any information. I know, I'm a bad person but how can I forgive someone who ...
A. 29 February 2020: It's OK to not want to forgive someone.
But in the long run, YOU are the one who ends up bitter with a grudge.
Sometimes forgiving someone cab help YOU move forward too. But sometimes getting to that point takes time.
It's EASY to say "Oh ... (read in full...)
How do I deal with discrimination from a co worker?
Q. So I’ve been at this job for almost 6 months now my coworker has been here for 8 and I’ve recently noticed that when I ask him a question directly he does not address me. Example: I was sending him a message on our IM system asking him a question ...
A. 29 February 2020: Ask your boss/manager (whomever you report to and who you work under) how you are supposed to learn your job when this guy CHOOSES to ignore you questions.
My question to you is this though, IS this other guy SUPPOSED to be the one you ask for ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend appears to lack empathy for others.
Q. Hi all I’d really like some input as to weather I’m being over sensitive . My partner and I don’t see eye to eye on certain matters and I am having a problem distinguishing if I am being too sensitive or if he is missing empathy and human compassion ...
A. 28 February 2020: I honestly, get what you say.
The whole burning bodies at the river Ganges, I get the "fascination" with the notion that once people are dead we need no fuss but just to go back to the earth. Like the Zoroastrians who put their dead people o... (read in full...)
I lied to my girlfriend about why I don't drink alcohol.
Q. About ten years ago, I was a heavy drinker. One night, I got so drunk that I am surprised that I didn't die. I even threw up all over myself and the bed while I was sleeping. After that night, I quit drinking completely. When my girlfriend and I...
A. 28 February 2020: Yes.
You were in your 20's when it happened. You OBVIOUSLY recognized that your drinking (at least THAT night) had been out of control and that you could have died as a result. Quitting drinking was the SMART choice, IMHO.
I went through som... (read in full...)
Troubled relationship with co worker involving politics has taken its toll on me
Q. Hi there, The nature of this post is dealing with work relationships rather than personal relationships. I've been at my company 5+ years. I recently achieved a significant award and recognition. I'm a field employee as opposed to internal mana...
A. 27 February 2020: I would consider two things here, 1. is that THEY actually talk to this person and "suggest" that the work place is not the place for political debate and 2. that they take a better look at the overall "health" of the team. If they have a GOOD team ... (read in full...)
My husband doesn't understand my stress over immigration
Q. Dear cupid i do not know how to make my husband of a year understand. we are in immigration process (i am from a diff country), and process is stressing me out since this will decide whether i can live here with him or cannot. He thinks i am over...
A. 27 February 2020: Is it the Interview you are worrying about?
Or just in general?
He is pulling away for a reason, but is it because you are pulling a "Spanish inquisition" on him to make sure he does know all the dates and what you did in case they(INS) ask ab... (read in full...)
He treats me like a queen, but has an appetite for other women, should I leave him ?
Q. Hello I'm 30 years old. Been with my bf for six years he's 32 years old. He's good to me, he's affectionate, loving, kind, considerate, charming etc. I just moved in with him in his parents home,I know what it sounds like, I was going through some ...
A. 27 February 2020: He sounds like an kid, to be honest.
Having ADHD is not an excuse for not doing what is required, like the drug-testing. And certainly not something that he can just not do for as long as he has gotten away with it.
I mean what do YOU hope... (read in full...)
My boyfriend has had more sexual partners than I am comfortable with. How can I find a way to accept this?
Q. I'm struggling with the number of sex partners my boyfriend has had before meeting me. I've only been with one other man besides him and that was my ex husband. My bf has had sex with way more people than I have. But he says his morals and values ...
A. 25 February 2020: I think you are right to feel the way you do, but for different reasons than YOU do.
1. he should have been HONEST from the get-go. He chose NOT to, not because he "forgot" those OH SO unimportant flings and sexual partner, but because he WANTED d... (read in full...)
My boyfriend has a leash on him
Q. I am starting to really dislike my boyfriends aunt because she has a leash on him. I want to clarify that I have been in a happy relationship for about 7 months now and I am really in love with him but I cannot deny that his aunt annoys me. I wo...
A. 25 February 2020: "I find him to be immature because he can't stand up to or be frank with his aunt, will this be a forever issue in our relationship?!"
Probably.
He isn't going to change. His relationship with his aunt (from your view point) seems a little o... (read in full...)
I feel like I'm being a bad friend but she isn't respecting my wishes
Q. I'm upset at a friend and scared for our friendship. We used to be best friends but lately things haven't been going well at all. Long story short she positively ID bed bugs in her apartment. She asked multiple times if she could stay with me and I ...
A. 25 February 2020: I hope you got your key back. No more letting her come and go. When she can't RESPECT a no (to borrowing your vacuum) what other boundaries isn't she respecting?
Bed bugs CAN survive being vacuumed up. They will NOT stay in the vacuum cleaner ... (read in full...)
Despite a live in boyfriend my life is a lonely one.
Q. I've been with my partner for almost 3 years. We have lived together for 8 months. When we are together I feel comfortable and content, most of the time. I am feeling lonely recently because he has been choosing to go out with his friends both Fri...
A. 25 February 2020: Maybe YOU need to go out with friends or develop a hobby where YOU are the one who leaves the house (or you both do separately).
The thing is living with someone is VERY different than dating, even with several years of dating and staying over at ... (read in full...)
Is anyone else 'Asexual'?
Q. I'm a 26 year old man and have never had a relationship or any kind of sexual experience, ever. In truth I haven't even tried to because to be blunt; I'm just not interested in it. Going through puberty I did feel like I wasn't like my peers. Whilst ...
A. 25 February 2020: Since being Asexual is a "thing/label" there are without doubt other people who feel the same way.
There are degrees to where you are as an Asexual, some want physical contact (like cuddles) but no sex, some don't want that. It's all up to the i... (read in full...)
I went home for the weekend and returned to find my rented room trashed!
Q. Hi Agony people. Just wondering can someone tell me whether I’m right or wrong. Rent a room off a lady for college term. Stay Sunday night to Friday and go home every weekend. She is away but at the weekend her son had a party and some people ...
A. 25 February 2020: Yes you definitely have a right to complain. It's unacceptable! What if they go through your things? Would that not be totally inappropriate?
If you PAY rent to live there that room is YOURS while you live and pay rent, REGARDLESS of her son want... (read in full...)
My friend was like a sister to me but then suddenly cut me off - why?
Q. I'm 27 and in a relationship, but this is a question about a friend. Before any of you jump in saying that it's weird for straight taken guys to have female friends, let me just say that I've had female friends since I was about 3 and that just ...
A. 25 February 2020: While I do think men and women can be friends, TRUE platonic friendships like this are rare. Usually because at some point someone can catch feelings, whether they like it or not.
And sometimes their partners DO not approve of such close friendsh... (read in full...)
Should I stop being so uptight and be happy that I'm wanted or should I go it alone again?
Q. I am a broken person. I know this, i know that my abusive relationships and sexual abuse as a child has had a big role to play in how i cope with things. I am quitr a strong person but it took me alot to get here. Im over protective and now i have a ...
A. 24 February 2020: I have to agree with CodeWarrior.
YOU are the only one who can work on YOU, to BETTER yourself. You past is tragic but it doesn't HAVE to define ALL that you are. You are more than what other people did to you. SEE professional help, work through ... (read in full...)
We met on a dating app and spoken for 3 weeks but he hasn't asked me on a date?
Q. So I've started to get back into the dating scene after being single nearly 2 years. My friends suggested online dating, which I don't really like the idea of, as I prefer to meet a guy naturally but Ive given it a whirl anyway. I've matched with ...
A. 24 February 2020: I think you are correct in the two options... Either he is not THAT into you or... he isn't single or... he isn't really LOOKING to date, but to "browse" and see what's out there.
Some people talk to multiple people at the same time, even go on da... (read in full...)
Roommates keep eating my food and making messes after or as I clean and then there's the dog.
Q. I lived in the dorms freshman and sophomore year but now I live in a three-bedroom apartment with M, her boyfriend in the master bedroom and my friend H (gay male) in the second bedroom. I'm in the third bedroom. I brought my mini fridge, microwave, ...
A. 24 February 2020: Time to find another place to live, THIS isn't working for you.
You can't change HOW they behave and you can't MAKE them care.
As for whether she had an abortion or not, NOT you business.
WHAT is your business is finding some place else ... (read in full...)
I was asked to be a Matron of Honour, but I can't really afford it.
Q. To cut a long story short, my friend got engaged 6 months ago and asked me to be her maid of honour but since then she’s asked me to go to one wedding fair (which I couldn’t go to due to my child being ill) yet her bridesmaid has been to several ...
A. 22 February 2020: Tell her and do it soon. So SHE can have the MOH and pre-wedding experience she is expecting.
It's OK to NOT have the money to be a MOH. I think MANY young new brides to be aren't really being very considerate when it comes to things like the... (read in full...)
I'm broken from a cycle of cheating and being cheated on.
Q. My long term bf cheated on me few yrs ago so I had a revenge affair. it only brought misery and guilt to me when I found out my ‘affair partner’ is a serial womanizer. I broke up the affair 8 months ago but I’m not able to let go. Also I want to ...
A. 21 February 2020: Because hurting his wife will make YOU feel better?
Or did you not think that far?
Someone living in a glass house perhaps shouldn't be throwing rocks?
You were obviously FINE with having an affair with a married man, you didn't ASK her ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend keeps cancelling plans for me to visit him while deployed.
Q. My boyfriend is currently deployed. On 3 separate occasions we have made plans for me to travel to see him and he has canceled for one reason or another. Initially I bought into his excuses, but at this point I am skeptical. We have only been ...
A. 21 February 2020: When you say deployed.... DO you mean overseas assignment?
Because a "deployment" means he is in a war-zone or in a area where war/combat have recently ended OR in a "staging" area where troops either R&R or prepare to GO to war-zone.
So I'm ... (read in full...)
Was it a good idea to make a fake account and test my lying boyfriend?
Q. Hello agony aunts, I've been with my boyfriend for almost two years. It's been a very rough relationship because we were always on and off because of his controlling behaviour. He lied to me about his age, his family and about him not talking to ...
A. 20 February 2020: Do I think it was a good idea?
No, but I don't think dating this guy is a good idea either.
Seriously OP, IF you feel you have to resort to tricks and traps to figure out whether he is not TOTALLY honest and straight with you.... you are ... (read in full...)
My ex boyfriend got angry about pics on social media.
Q. I split up with my boyfriend about a month ago, we've not been in contact much since then, but he's gotten angry with me about a photo he found on Instagram. The photo in question is me with a Snapchat filter, the one with the bear ears and no...
A. 19 February 2020: I don't think bare shoulders are "scandalous" or a no no for women OVER 30...
I just think people need to consider what kind of pictures they post, NOT for the sake of what some EX might think but how they present themselves to the world. Many emp... (read in full...)
Working with an ex, how do I keep things professional?
Q. Dear cupids, 3 months ago a young calleague and I started getting closer at work and we started seeing each other. He's from the uk and has an ex gf with a 3 yr old daughter. Naturally i wouldn't go for a man with that sort of baggage, but we ...
A. 19 February 2020: Just be professional at work. If you have to interact be polite but treat him as you would any other co-worker. If you don't HAVE to work with him, that only makes things easier. If you do, well then put on your best "professional" face and make the ... (read in full...)
I constantly feel pressure to have sex even when I just don't have the emotional energy and it makes me feel frustrated and resentful
Q. I'm really confused about what to do and I need some advice. Thanks in advance. I'm 36 and engaged to my fiance. We have an exceptionally loving, caring, and loyal relationship. There's no issue there or question about that. Well about a ye...
A. 18 February 2020: 1. go see your doctor.
Tell him how you feel, physically and emotionally. Maybe your hormones are a bit wacky at the moment and you need to adjust them. It might be you need a slight anti-depressant to move you forward.
Tell your partner wha... (read in full...)
Should I trick my husband to let me watch him and a friend?
Q. Hi all. This might seem an unusual problem for some. I've always known my husband is quite flexible when it comes to sexuality. In college he told me he had a friend that he experimented with on numerous occasions and it never bothered me. Inf...
A. 18 February 2020: Stick to the fantasy in your head.
Seriously. As fantasies goes, it's pretty tame.
The reason I would NOT suggest you try this is because YOU haven't thought it through, not past the "mini porn" you have created in your head. You have NO idea... (read in full...)
I feel like I'm treading on eggshells at work and don't know where to go from here
Q. I started a new job nine months ago. I come from a very different background (many aspects) from my employers. I’m female and relatively young (mid 30s) versus my employers (group of men aged mid 50s-60s). They hired me for my experience which...
A. 18 February 2020: Stick it out for another 3 months then start looking for another work place.
You are just not a good fit. I don't think you should compromise on your standards and quality of work because THEY like to "slack" here and there.
I think this ... (read in full...)
My husband's actions have made me feel I'm not worth much anymore.
Q. We've been married for two years now, but all these wounds that I've gotten during our relationship haven't healed. I want to move on so badly from everything but I don't know how. I want to say my anxiety is what is keeping me from thinking about ...
A. 18 February 2020: Oh one thing I forgot to mention, that might be helpful too, (regardless of whether you are religious or not) you CAN talk to the Chaplain on post, they DO have marriage retreats (we went to one when hubby was stationed in Germany and while we were ... (read in full...)
Should I try again with the woman I dumped?
Q. I broke up with my girlfriend because she had a degree and gets paid more than me. She has her own place. I moved back in with my parents because I’m going through a divorce. I have a crappy job she tried to help me find a better one. I kind of ...
A. 18 February 2020: It didn't work the first time, trying again won't be any different.
Work on yourself and building a life for you and your son.
As for the great sex, well that is neither here nor there.
And yes, it sounds made up. But in case it's not.. ^... (read in full...)
My ex boyfriend got angry about pics on social media.
Q. I split up with my boyfriend about a month ago, we've not been in contact much since then, but he's gotten angry with me about a photo he found on Instagram. The photo in question is me with a Snapchat filter, the one with the bear ears and no...
A. 18 February 2020: Personally?
I think Instagram filters and the likes are for kids and teens... I think it's a bit childish but also just a bit of fun. Would I do it? Nope. Maybe with my teenage daughters (we have done faceswaps for fun - not posted anywhere... (read in full...)
My husband's actions have made me feel I'm not worth much anymore.
Q. We've been married for two years now, but all these wounds that I've gotten during our relationship haven't healed. I want to move on so badly from everything but I don't know how. I want to say my anxiety is what is keeping me from thinking about ...
A. 16 February 2020: The first one who HAS to be OK with you, IS you. You are projecting your insecurities into your marriage and HE is projecting is PISS-POOR behavior onto you.
He doesn't WANT you to talk to other males, because he KNOWS how HE has been talking ... (read in full...)
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