My ex boyfriend got angry about pics on social media.
Q. I split up with my boyfriend about a month ago, we've not been in contact much since then, but he's gotten angry with me about a photo he found on Instagram. The photo in question is me with a Snapchat filter, the one with the bear ears and no...
A. 19 February 2020: I don't think bare shoulders are "scandalous" or a no no for women OVER 30...
I just think people need to consider what kind of pictures they post, NOT for the sake of what some EX might think but how they present themselves to the world. Many emp... (read in full...)
My husband's actions have made me feel I'm not worth much anymore.
Q. We've been married for two years now, but all these wounds that I've gotten during our relationship haven't healed. I want to move on so badly from everything but I don't know how. I want to say my anxiety is what is keeping me from thinking about ...
A. 18 February 2020: Oh one thing I forgot to mention, that might be helpful too, (regardless of whether you are religious or not) you CAN talk to the Chaplain on post, they DO have marriage retreats (we went to one when hubby was stationed in Germany and while we were ... (read in full...)
My ex boyfriend got angry about pics on social media.
Q. I split up with my boyfriend about a month ago, we've not been in contact much since then, but he's gotten angry with me about a photo he found on Instagram. The photo in question is me with a Snapchat filter, the one with the bear ears and no...
A. 18 February 2020: Personally?
I think Instagram filters and the likes are for kids and teens... I think it's a bit childish but also just a bit of fun. Would I do it? Nope. Maybe with my teenage daughters (we have done faceswaps for fun - not posted anywhere... (read in full...)
I just moved in and everyone wants me to share my things
Q. I just moved in to an apartment complex for low-income people. Before that, I was (1) ten days in a detox facility (2) 90 days in a rehab (3) one year in a Sober Living home and (4) six months in an (shared) apartment for ex-felons who are trying to ...
A. 18 February 2020: Keep telling them:" it's none of your business."
Don't worry about being rude, it REALLY is none of their business.
Some online and "brick & mortar" businesses let's you "schedule" deliveries, so you CAN try and have them delivered when y... (read in full...)
I've just discovered I am the OTHER WOMAN!
Q. I've been in a sexual relationship with a man for over almost 4 years now. I do not have feelings for him, but had always wondered why he was so distant and indifferent towards me throughout the 4 years. Long story short I just found out throug...
A. 18 February 2020: Now that you know this guy can totally compartmentalize his emotions (having a "real" relationship and a serious GF + having a F-buddy (you) and have no issue with it.
I get that a "casual thing" might seem OK to "hold you over" until you HAVE tim... (read in full...)
Am I too messed up and damaged to ever have a happy relationship?
Q. I am 26 and have lived in a toxic, emotionally abusive household my whole life. I come from a culture where you're guilted into never moving out until marriage. (I'm saving up to move out as soon as I can though). Also, if I ever go no contact with ...
A. 17 February 2020: If you come from a culture that put a LOT of emphasis on family, I can see how deviating from the "norm" can be pretty hard. You are basically trying to swim against the current. It will make you a "strong swimmer" but also make you stand out in ... (read in full...)
Is casual sex that much better than relationship sex? If so, how can a woman in a long term relationship ever compete?
Q. What's so good about casual sex? How does it differ from sex in relationships? And why would people risk a long term relationship for casual sex? Is a stranger or someone who doesn't care that much better in bed? How can a woman in a long term ...
A. 17 February 2020: Life isn't a competition, really.
Some people want casual sexual hook up because they are emotionally stunted, have past emotional trauma, want sex but don't want to INVEST in another person, are selfish, lazy, just horny, feel they are better o... (read in full...)
I want to let go of him with understanding not hatred
Q. I have a slightly odd question about a previous relationship that I'm still trying to figure out aspects of because I'm trying to heal and really move on. I am NOT the kind of person who just walks away from things. I know I give far more than I ...
A. 17 February 2020: I think you are obsessing with making this a "can't blame anyone" for the failure of a relationship" but I don't blame you.
Most of us want some kind of LOGICAL reason as to why things go tits up or why some people just... act in very unfamili... (read in full...)
The man I've been going out with made sexual jokes about my friend.
Q. I have been going out with this lovely man for about 3 months now. We have been official for 1 month. I think he is a great man, goal-oriented, and self-driven. I really like his bubbly personality and how easy it is to interact with him. He mak...
A. 16 February 2020: What was his answer? I'm curious.
" i asked him to imagine how he would feel if I told him I wanted to have sex with one of his friends."
And his answer is telling.
He overstepped here. It WAS inappropriate. It would have been on the same sc... (read in full...)
My husband's actions have made me feel I'm not worth much anymore.
Q. We've been married for two years now, but all these wounds that I've gotten during our relationship haven't healed. I want to move on so badly from everything but I don't know how. I want to say my anxiety is what is keeping me from thinking about ...
A. 16 February 2020: The first one who HAS to be OK with you, IS you. You are projecting your insecurities into your marriage and HE is projecting is PISS-POOR behavior onto you.
He doesn't WANT you to talk to other males, because he KNOWS how HE has been talking ... (read in full...)
This girl is bad for me, what should I do?
Q. A long time ago in college there was a girl who was very close to me, very touchy feely and all that. I fancied her, had a really huge crush. Though I didn't know it, she had friend zoned me. One day she said she was moving to the west coast and ...
A. 16 February 2020: Just DELETE and BLOCK and REMOVE.
There is NO reason to keep her in your life or on your social media. She might BE a different person now but WHY CARE?
It's not rude to decide, I don't really give a single F about someone back from colleg... (read in full...)
I've just discovered I am the OTHER WOMAN!
Q. I've been in a sexual relationship with a man for over almost 4 years now. I do not have feelings for him, but had always wondered why he was so distant and indifferent towards me throughout the 4 years. Long story short I just found out throug...
A. 16 February 2020: How does this happen for 4 years?
You never met his friends? His family? No talk of moving in together? Marriage, kids? future? Of course not! Because you two were JUST fu@k-buddies!
You write: "This whole time i thought I was just among his r... (read in full...)
I'm worried the chase is over now this guy has had sex with me.
Q. I’m a 27-year-old female and I’ve been dating a 32-year old male for the past four or five weeks. Here’s some background info… We originally matched on Tinder back in October 2019 and began speaking but at that time I didn’t feel like it was the ...
A. 15 February 2020: Well NOW you know to BE OK with leaving him alone. And when you feel braver... BLOCK him on the number and Instagram, he doesn't NEED to follow you either, right?
And.... if you are looking to date with the intention of finding a BF/Partn... (read in full...)
When my partner gets mad I get the silent treatment
Q. I have this ongoing issue with my bf of 5 years. Whenever he gets mad at me, he gives me the silent treatment. Sometimes it's a few hours; sometimes it's days. He's even gone a few weeks, which was absolute torture, but I'm getting better at ...
A. 13 February 2020: Maybe it is a old defense mechanism he uses to avoid escalation. He might not even be aware. I don't know how bad his childhood and growing up was but I can see a "silent treatment" as a very effective defense mechanism, in the sense that IF you ... (read in full...)
Its been 18 months since our breakup but I still think of my ex wife every day
Q. Hi, I posted a little while ago - I need some practical assistance. Please dont say give it time ( this will make sense in a minute ). My ex wife left me 18 months ago, I posted a couple of months ago, in the post it mentioned that all my mo...
A. 13 February 2020: There is no magic amount of time for you to "get over" her. She was for 10 years a VERY big part of your life and she stabbed you unexpectedly in the back - those are not things you will forget. Ever.
They will be part of your life from now on. ... (read in full...)
Attracted to my and wife's mutual friend
Q. Need help. I became somewhat close friends with a woman a few years back because our kids were in same class. For the first year or two, we just exchanged occasional text about school ect and , although my wife wasn't as close, my wife knew we were ...
A. 12 February 2020: Let her know that you can no longer chat/text one-on-one due to you lack of self-control.
IF you can't control yourself, who is supposed to do that for you? Your wife? That woman? Her husband?
Have some common sense.
This woman ENJOYS hav... (read in full...)
I don't like the boy my mom has me dating. How do I break up without hurting him?
Q. Dear Cupid, My mom has me and my best friend dating but I don't love him the same way he loves me. He's sending me money and stuff but I have feelings for another person and I'm clueless on what to do. How do I tell the boy i have feelings for i li...
A. 12 February 2020: I agree with Cindy,
We need more info.
Who is this guy that you call "your best friend" ?
Someone you met Online?
Why is he sending you money?
And why is your MOM of all people pushing you to date him?
... (read in full...)
I'm a bit naive, how do I get myself out of this pickle?
Q. I have a co-worker who has a bit of a crush on me. He has been persistent in trying to go to the gym together and he can "show me how to work out". It's actually starting to get a bit annoying because he keeps mentioning it every day on our break. ...
A. 12 February 2020: I think it's a good start to pull back. WAY back. No more teasing. Teasing you can do with friends, family and those who actually KNOWS you. Laughing shouldn't be offensive ever, IMHO. But if he takes that as encouragement to proceed pursuing you... ... (read in full...)
Be patient or move on?
Q. I started a part time course to work in education in September 2019. There is a man on the course and I thought he seemed nice but assumed he was married and left it. It has only been has time has gone on he has paid me more attention and I have ...
A. 11 February 2020: I think that is probably a wise decision, OP
The man is in his 40's, working two jobs to stay afloat and his favorite subject is himself...
I think you can find someone who is a better fit, don't you?
... (read in full...)
I want to separate from my wife but I can't afford to
Q. Hi Aunts! My wife and I have been together for 27 years (no kids) but things haven't been good for most of them. I am at the point where I don't necessarily want a divorce, but I want to get away from her think things through. She would proba...
A. 10 February 2020: If you think she feels the same how about having a conversation about it?
You can look into hostels, YMCA and take some time for yourself.
I would just make sure SHE know where you are and how to reach you.
... (read in full...)
I feel guilty for wanting out of this toxic relationship.
Q. Why do I feel so guilty about wanting out of this toxic relationship? It's killing me inside, almost daily to think that it's finally coming to an end. Backstory 7 years, 4 kids. My daughter from a previous relationship (8) his 2 from a previous ...
A. 10 February 2020: Get your ducks in a row. Quite simply.
Make sure ALL your IMPORTANT papers are somewhere safe, that is YOUR 2 kids' birth certificates, your own, passports, tax papers - ANY of that. If you can put them in fireproof lock box at a family member o... (read in full...)
I hounded the man I love while drunk, now he wont respond to me.
Q. I have a friend who told me years ago he liked me then i got really drunk one night and kept messaging him, his best friend told my best friend that he really liked me. This got me really excited as more feelings for him came out of me ,he had also ...
A. 10 February 2020: What else can you do?
GROW UP!
Who over the age of 25 drunk text/message someone their fancy? Seriously!
Control your drinking. If you feel like you do DUMB shit while drunk, then maybe you need to accept that you need to cut the booze.
... (read in full...)
How do I get over the lazy, lying man I dumped?
Q. I have failed to get over my ex.. We dated for 2 years.. We were amazing together... The challenge was always two things.. He was a liar and not financially dependable.. I am a working woman of 34 years with a daughter.. I can support myself.....
A. 10 February 2020: Why haven't you just BLOCKED his number? If YOU allow him to pop up and REMIND you that he is out there... HOW are you to get over him?
That is like someone who has a bruise but wants to forget it, yet they keep POKING a finger in it wonderin... (read in full...)
I'm worried the chase is over now this guy has had sex with me.
Q. I’m a 27-year-old female and I’ve been dating a 32-year old male for the past four or five weeks. Here’s some background info… We originally matched on Tinder back in October 2019 and began speaking but at that time I didn’t feel like it was the ...
A. 10 February 2020: There is so much angst here OP, which makes me inclined to agree with WiseOwlE when he said you might not be ready to be dating at all.
There are several scenarios that are possible.
1. he ONLY wanted sex from you, so now that he got it, you w... (read in full...)
How do I make my husband love me more than his mother
Q. My hubby is so loving by heart he will not express it..he express his love n romance only during sex at night..he is super romantic during sex..but when it become morning he is angry and busy dont have time to care me..even during my periods....
A. 9 February 2020: You do know he can LOVE you both, right? It's not a competition.
He expresses "love and romance" ONLY during sex? That is because HE gets something out of it. SEX. That isn't love. And it's not that he doesn't know HOW to express love as he can o... (read in full...)
Be patient or move on?
Q. I started a part time course to work in education in September 2019. There is a man on the course and I thought he seemed nice but assumed he was married and left it. It has only been has time has gone on he has paid me more attention and I have ...
A. 9 February 2020: Is he interested? Hard to say, really.
BUT if he is curious about what you are doing over the weekend, he is at least interested in you as a person or to have someone to talk to. Whether he is interested in dating you... is a whole other thing.
... (read in full...)
I asked out a girl I'm crazy about but she said she is already in another relationship.
Q. I dont know what to do here! please help, sorry ahead of time this is kind of long. I work at a book store that this girl is a customer of. ( we have a strict rule about not asking out customers, reasonable rule, i have no arguments about ...
A. 7 February 2020: I think you should accept that SHE isn't interested in you in "THAT" way.
I get it, you are crushing HARD on this girl, she is nice to you (when she does talk to you), but you are IGNORING the obvious.
IF she was as interested in YOU, getting ... (read in full...)
A girl he has never met sent my boyfriend a video of her boobs.
Q. My partner of 2 years has been amazing but in December I sadly found a girl had sent him a video of her showing her boobs and it really hurt me Cos he saved it and he promised me him and this girl were just mates they never met up but still it hurt ...
A. 7 February 2020: Sure, she is JUST a "mate" and they have never met up...
Maybe they haven't met up, YET but you can't be so naive to think SHE didn't send that video with the hopes that HE would be interested in meeting up... He, after all, SAVED to video to... (read in full...)
Is my daughter's three way relationship doomed to fail?
Q. My daughter is in a ridiculous ‘relationship’ with a man and another girl. How can I get her to see sense and realise that it will never work in a million years? It’s been going on for about 7 months now, although up until last week I thought she ...
A. 7 February 2020: Morally?
Yes, I would find it reprehensible. I don't think "open" relationships is ANYTHING more than an excuse for people to have sex with multiple people and not fully commit to a partner. BUT I am old-fashioned. Would I feel a little grossed ... (read in full...)
Are bad body odour and dirty clothes a deal breaker?
Q. i’ve been chatting with a guy on dating site. Built up a connection, exchanged phone numbers and have now talked on the phone a few times as well as chatting online.Decided to meet up in person as we have a lot in common and definitely a ...
A. 7 February 2020: For me it is a deal breaker.
He was nervous but looked forward to seeing you, YET he (a GROWN man) didn't shower and put on clean clothes for this first date/meeting?
There is a REASON he is still single, despite his sense of humor and all th... (read in full...)
I'm scared I'm just wasting my time with this man
Q. Background: Approaching 30, been together 1.5 years, known each other for years before that. Generally great relationship, we share a lot of interest and have a similar sense of humour and have a great sex life. Issue: he has never brought up ...
A. 7 February 2020: I have to agree with N91
You SIT down and have an ADULT conversation. DEFINITELY do NOT move in together "just because" you have dated xx amount of months.
You WANT to make sure you and HE are on the same page in the same book, so to speak.
... (read in full...)
I'm feeling guilty because for 2 years my married LDR lover has thought I am dead
Q. I am separated with 3 children, in short, I am a single mother. My story is...I had a long-distance affair with a married man from 2006 to 2017. I met him once in Hongkong and Our relationship was wonderful but also painful. I love him a lot but ...
A. 6 February 2020: Amen, to what WiseOwlE said,
TELL the truth and STOP taking his money.
Jezz lady.... (read in full...)
I'm having a hard time expressing my needs within the relationship.
Q. Hi guys! Background: I’ve been dating my boyfriend for 8 months now. I’m 27 he’s 28. We’ve talked about potentially moving in together when my lease is up in May. This is the first relationship I’ve been in that is relatively healthy, and I’ve ...
A. 6 February 2020: Definitely go back and see your doctor, it might be your dosage that needs changed, or switch in brand/type.
I know that working out the financial side with therapy can be complicated in the US for some, so YOU need to look back at your previous... (read in full...)
I've ended my 8 year relationship but cant get him to move out with his dog.
Q. Hi I’ve just ended my relationship of 8 years last week the problems was for the last 3 years he has slept i the spare room I was stupid for letting it go on that long looking back he stopped trying to have we’d with me so I’m the end I gave up ...
A. 6 February 2020: You might have to evict him, OP
While HE says he has nowhere to go, THAT really is no longer your problem. Now I GET that finding a place to rent with a LARGE dog can be harder, it CAN be done. He just isn't doing it because he is RELYING on you t... (read in full...)
Be patient or move on?
Q. I started a part time course to work in education in September 2019. There is a man on the course and I thought he seemed nice but assumed he was married and left it. It has only been has time has gone on he has paid me more attention and I have ...
A. 5 February 2020: I think being cautious is smart.
If someone works 2 jobs, has hobbies and taking a course to also work in educations, he seems to have a full plate. Yes he might be on dating sites, THAT doesn't mean he actually has TIME for a relation... (read in full...)
I have a boyfriend. Is it inappropriate to have my male best friend meal prep for me?
Q. My boyfriend and I are in a long distance relationship. Last week, one of my close friends who is male, asked if I could go accompany him to the wholesale supermarket since I had a membership and he wanted to get purchase a bunch of cleaning ...
A. 5 February 2020: Yes, you are overthinking this.
This was a case of quid pro quo, something for something. You LET him use your membership and in turn for him being able to buy stuff in bulk and cheaper, HE prepped lunches for a week for you. Food you ALSO pai... (read in full...)
Boundaries boyfriends and ex boyfriends
Q. Hi Aunts and Uncles. Normally I dont post things on the internet asking for the help of perfect strangers, but I have a couple questions and situations that I feel like Im acting childish about, but still cant help but disagree, and am not sure how ...
A. 4 February 2020: Samsung Galaxy S9 / S9+ - Block / Unblock Numbers
Add Block
From a Home screen, tap the Phone icon Phone icon.
Note If unavailable, swipe up or down from the center of the display then tap Phone Phone icon.
Note These instructions only ap... (read in full...)
I have a partner but I'm in love with another man who doesn't love me back, and feel like my whole world is falling apart. I feel lost and heartbroken, what should I do?
Q. Hi there. This is going to be a big one, I'd appreciate if people don't go too hard on me as I've never spoken to anyone about this before and I feel really depressed about the situation. I'm 27 and I've been with my partner for 9 years, living ...
A. 3 February 2020: You mentioned briefly that this "New Guy" strung you along when flirting with him... So what do you call what you are doing with your BF?
You ARE stringing your BF along. You don't love him. You like him, he is familiar, he helps you but you don'... (read in full...)
What can I talk about with a former classmate if my past is off limits?
Q. I wrote in before about whether or not to meet an old classmate who wasn't nice to me and wants to make amends. I've decided to meet him (whenever that will be) but now I don't know what to talk about. Since HS I've had a string of very controll...
A. 3 February 2020: I will also ask WHY you think meeting up IS the right thing (for you)?
I can see WHY he might want meet up so he (perhaps) can clear his conscience for being a prick to you, but you DO NOT OWE this man anything. Not what you have been though, ... (read in full...)
Boundaries boyfriends and ex boyfriends
Q. Hi Aunts and Uncles. Normally I dont post things on the internet asking for the help of perfect strangers, but I have a couple questions and situations that I feel like Im acting childish about, but still cant help but disagree, and am not sure how ...
A. 3 February 2020: As far as N goes, GET a new phone/ or number. That will sort itself out. If he does know where you live, you CAN make the choice (if he shows up out of the blue) to not open the door and CALL the police.
While he IS annoying if his texts aren't r... (read in full...)
The ex that likes to text with a kiss
Q. Broke up with my ex last year in October he says he doesn't know what he wants anymore but still texts me with kisses what does this mean? ...
A. 3 February 2020: Yep, I agree with YCBS.
He wants to make sure that 1. YOU don't move on because he CONSTANTLY reminds you that HE is still there and 2. IN case he doesn't move on or it doesn't work out FOR him, that you can be an option again...
You will have... (read in full...)
My fiance is feeling insecure after a burn accident. How can I help him?
Q. My fiance has always been self-conscious about his acne. Bad days are occasional, but they do happen, and it causes him social anxiety. A few months ago, he was in an accident that burned his arm, chest, and face, and it has affected how he looks. ...
A. 2 February 2020: I too would try and have some one-on-one dates OUT of the house. But I don't think YOU giving up your social life will really help him. Not long term. Marrying him sooner is NOT a good idea. So maybe cut down the nights out with friend to BI-weekly, ... (read in full...)
My partner and I are arguing a lot more since our baby was born.
Q. So I had a baby boy 7 months ago and myself and my partner have argued more since having a baby than we have in the 6 and a half years we’ve been together! I’m really struggling with becoming a mother as I am not very maternal, I also lost my mother ...
A. 2 February 2020: It's a tale that the first born are calm and easy. Mine certainly wasn't.
She had colic and infant reflux on top of it. It was NOT fun time at all. She didn't sleep through the night until she was 19 months. I rarely got more than 4 hours of sleep... (read in full...)
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