My partner and I are arguing a lot more since our baby was born.
Q. So I had a baby boy 7 months ago and myself and my partner have argued more since having a baby than we have in the 6 and a half years we’ve been together! I’m really struggling with becoming a mother as I am not very maternal, I also lost my mother ...
A. 2 February 2020: It's a tale that the first born are calm and easy. Mine certainly wasn't.
She had colic and infant reflux on top of it. It was NOT fun time at all. She didn't sleep through the night until she was 19 months. I rarely got more than 4 hours of sleep... (read in full...)
My girlfriend is addicted to prescription drugs.
Q. I met a girl a few months ago and generally hit it off. We have lots in common, we’re looking for similar things in life and from each other, and she’s beautiful. She is a lovely caring person. Very smart. Adventurous. I could go on... Obviously ...
A. 2 February 2020: "Ketamine is a medication that is used to induce loss of consciousness, or anesthesia, It is a class III scheduled drug and is approved for use in hospitals and other medical settings as an anesthetic."
"Ketamine is similar in structure to phenc... (read in full...)
Was he confused about his intentions or did I misread the situation?
Q. Very long convoluted story here and in all honesty I think it is over and put to bed. It was a complete non event in reality, but it did affect me quite a lot at the time. I am in a happy relationship now so it’s not something I am going to actively ...
A. 1 February 2020: One thing I forgot to add, OP
Don't be passive in your life. You were just going along with whatever he got up to (to a point) but why? IF you knew he was married why even participate? To what end?
Regardless of what HE wanted, shouldn'... (read in full...)
Was he confused about his intentions or did I misread the situation?
Q. Very long convoluted story here and in all honesty I think it is over and put to bed. It was a complete non event in reality, but it did affect me quite a lot at the time. I am in a happy relationship now so it’s not something I am going to actively ...
A. 1 February 2020: I too agree, he WAS hoping for a short whirlwind romp, since he knew and you knew he would only be around for 6 weeks, it could be fun to get a "quickie" in, here and there with a cute girl that isn't the wife and who KNOWS he is married and ... (read in full...)
Did I say something I shouldn't have? Boyfriend got offended by a remark I made
Q. MOD NOTE: DID YOUR BOYFRIEND GET OFFENDED, WHY ARE YOU ASKING HOW THE VOLUNTEER AGONY AUNTS WOULD RESPOND? I was looking for honest feedback without me possibly swaying what they felt with the outcome. Yes, he was offended. His response was, a ...
A. 1 February 2020: Would I have been offended?
No, if the wine tasted good and I had a buzz going, I'd probably not make a anything out of this.
However, 3 things.
1. If a wine taste "skunked" (I will presume that means it taste like crap) WHY keep drinking ... (read in full...)
I'm not sure if the new team member is trying to make connection or being inappropriate.
Q. A new guy joined my company three weeks ago. he transferred over from another company in our group after I heard his work was really great (I run the company). He’s middle aged, been working a long time but in a different line of work to what we ...
A. 31 January 2020: I too would guess he was "laterally dumped" on you because he wasn't working out for his old team and YOU can see why. He has the social grace and skills of a slug.
I would also suggest to take him aside, hand him ANY handbook your company ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend doesn't know what's expected in a relationship.
Q. Hi, What do I do if my boyfriend (Who is an adult.) was never been taught anything about woman/Being in a romantic relationship/ Has never had any experience in a relationship? Details: (Dating for 5 months, I'm his first relationship) My boyfrie...
A. 31 January 2020: I agree with Code Warrior.
It sounds like a mix between immaturity and laziness. I think (regardless of what your parents taught you) that most people have a wish/desire to make an effort to make their partner's face light up. My husband is NOT a... (read in full...)
How do I explain my poly relationship to my sister and others?
Q. I am in a poly relationship with two men and have been for nearly a year now. Everything is great although we keep it quite hush hush as we want to live our lives in peace. We all live together so we just say that one of the guys is our roommate. ...
A. 30 January 2020: I agree with your sister.
IF he was only a room-mate it WOULD be pretty inappropriate of the room-mate AND you.
Be an honest person. If people/family don't get it, that is on them. Don't make yourself a liar to hide what you are doing if you... (read in full...)
Ghosted after 2 years
Q. My 2 year relationship just ended by the guy ghosting me. We went bowling for our 2 year anniversary had a good time and we got into a fight that night when we got back home over the status of our relationship. We have been on and off for 2 years ...
A. 30 January 2020: Awww OP
Didn't the FIRST time he did this to you TEACH you anything?
The guy is WASTING your time. He has been WASTING it for 2 years!
He can't even DUMP you! No, he chooses the cowards way out and just "ghosts" you.
CUT ALL contact ... (read in full...)
Was it my fault that we got into a mess?
Q. I’ve been with my bf for 5 years now. I’m 22 and he’s 25. We live in the city in sort of a sketchy area, so sometimes I have to park my car down this creepy alleyway because our complex doesn’t have assigned parking. Annoying, I know. So last night, ...
A. 30 January 2020: I don't think YOU need to assign blame here.
It was a bad situation that NEITHER of you set up or created. EVEN with the personal drama you two had (aka the fight).
You "thought" you would talk about it in the car. He didn't. Hence why it end... (read in full...)
Is it possible for this to happen?
Q. My boyfriend was married at twenty years old, he is now forty. He has said he was naive, manipulated into getting married and knew he didn't love her. Is it possible people do get married when they know they don't love someone and know it wont last ...
A. 30 January 2020: How many KIDS haven't done the EXACT opposite when parents told them no?
Especially if someone was told don't marry her/him - it's a mistake! OF course SOME people would listen to the counsel of their parents, others would feel like the parents ... (read in full...)
I want to meet with him but don't know what to say and I'm scared out of my wit's after being antisocial for so long. What do I do?
Q. I was badly bullied by this guy Dominic in school. He was part of the reason I didn't go to the 10-year HS reunion. (He wasn't the only one but he was the worst). We graduated in 97 and in 07 half my senior class friended me and I friended them back ...
A. 30 January 2020: You don't owe him your life story, OP
He is someone from HS who back then wasn't kind or nice to you, he wanted to make amends financially. Which is nice of him but you aren't obliged to take his money.
IN short you don't OWE him anything. He... (read in full...)
I want to meet with him but don't know what to say and I'm scared out of my wit's after being antisocial for so long. What do I do?
Q. I was badly bullied by this guy Dominic in school. He was part of the reason I didn't go to the 10-year HS reunion. (He wasn't the only one but he was the worst). We graduated in 97 and in 07 half my senior class friended me and I friended them back ...
A. 30 January 2020: If you want to meet for a coffee, then do it, but YOU pick the place. Some place you are comfortable with.
Make it a 30-45 min. meet up. That way you won't feel pressured to talk about anything you don't want to. And even if it lasts longer O... (read in full...)
My ex doesn't like it that I'm speaking with his cousin
Q. So my ex boyfriend and I broke up a month ago and his cousin in I have been talking for a while in my ex (Trevion ) is kind of mad because he thinks its wrong . so what should I do?...
A. 30 January 2020: Well, he is your ex, why does his opinion matter? why should he have ANY say in who you talk to? And why are you speaking to your ex?
However, WITH that being said... Is it really smart to be "talking" to someone in his family, right under hi... (read in full...)
The woman I'm dating says I'm too much for her
Q. I've been in a relationship with someone for 3 months, I must stress, it's not sexual yet, but we both flirt and it feels like something we both like. Recently she told me I was too full on, too involved in her social media and that it was too ...
A. 29 January 2020: Be you. Don't try to impress her and IF you like and comment and get all up in her social media, BACK OFF.
You can like pictures (don't go back through her WHOLE album though, that's a bit much).
But KEEP from commenting on stuff she posts,... (read in full...)
My husband says he's too special for me and too special to go to counselling
Q. Hi and thank you I have been married almost 10 years. First 5 were good then it started going downhill, especially this last year. My husband can be very mean to me. Calls me stupid, idiot, dumb, b****, bast***. I think he calls me a ...
A. 29 January 2020: I'd leave his SPECIAL ass and move on. File for divorce and make a future for yourself without this "special" man-child.
Is he a momma's boy? Did he grow up being told just HOW special he was? And now he believes that stuff? Yet, he has to smoke... (read in full...)
Is it possible for this to happen?
Q. My boyfriend was married at twenty years old, he is now forty. He has said he was naive, manipulated into getting married and knew he didn't love her. Is it possible people do get married when they know they don't love someone and know it wont last ...
A. 28 January 2020: So we are back to this, again OP?
Like you have been told many many times, IF you CAN NOT trust him and KEEP looking for scabs to pick at, WHY are you still with him?
SO WHAT if he loved her? I loved my first BF with all my heart. It didn't... (read in full...)
My father feels I betrayed him when I was a child.
Q. My father has been mad at me for years and will hardly even speak to me. He and mom were divorced when I was 7, my brother was 9, and my sister was 4. Mom is old school about certain things. When I was 10, I had stayed out past dark playing at a ...
A. 28 January 2020: It IS childish of him holding this over your head. You were a kid and you chose the OBVIOUS route of staying with your mom. Most kids usually do.
It's also understandable that he had hopes you would WANT to live with him.
It CAN'T be easy fo... (read in full...)
He cried more over his old dog dying than he did over us splitting up.
Q. Hi I’ve just ended a 6 year relationship he preferred being at work and spending time with his dog than with me and his twin daughters who are 3 years old the problem is he is still living with me until he finds somewhere we split up 6 weeks ago I ...
A. 28 January 2020: I think he knew the break up was coming, thus were able to hold his feelings in (whatever they may have been). A death, EVEN of a sick pet is SO darn final.
In general I think people are also MORE OK with a person (especially guys) to cry over the... (read in full...)
Is it possible for this to happen?
Q. My boyfriend was married at twenty years old, he is now forty. He has said he was naive, manipulated into getting married and knew he didn't love her. Is it possible people do get married when they know they don't love someone and know it wont last ...
A. 28 January 2020: God, yes, looking back I was stupid at 20. Who wasn't? My brother was even dumber in his late teens and early 20's.
Did you NEVER make any mistakes in your life?
And why on Earth are you trying to hold him responsible for something that h... (read in full...)
I just need another person's perspective on boyfriend's attitude when we are gaming.
Q. Hello everybody. I would like peoples honest opinions on the way my partner sometimes speaks to me, as I feel he could be more tactful with his words sometimes. I will give one recent example from the other night. We were playing a two player g...
A. 28 January 2020: I have gamed with my husband on and off for 20 years. Yep, that long. Different online games (mainly) and HE is better at some and I'm better at others. I make mistakes HE make mistakes. But as ANNOYING and frustrating it can be, at the END of the ... (read in full...)
Is he normal? He says he doesn't want to sleep with me right now.
Q. I had a date last night with an amazing guy! We went out for drinks, ice cream, and to browse books at the local bookstore. After that, he invited me back to his place to play chess. We didn't get to play because we were too busy talking but then he ...
A. 27 January 2020: While I get that you were attracted to him physically, that you were horny, I have to reiterate from YCBS's answer.... WHAT is your hurry?
He is NOT going to LIKE you better, or want to date you MORE if you have sex asap.
He is still a stranger... (read in full...)
Is there such a thing as "harmless flirting"?
Q. I don't have a girlfriend at the moment and I don't date older women. There is this attractive lady in her early 30s. I think she is about 7 or at most 10 years older than me. A few years ago when I first got to know her, I used to flirt wit...
A. 26 January 2020: I think there IS such a thing as harmless flirtation... if both parties FULLY understand it's JUST for fun and PREFERABLY both a single.
I definitely think she enjoys the attention, but I think think YOU need to be aware of how it can be perceive... (read in full...)
How can I stay positive, I know I will never be slim and trim.
Q. Can some people give me some ideas on how to stay positive . I suffer from a hormonal endocrine problem that Menander my body holds on to body fat . I’m medicated for it and see a specialist regularly but it will be with me for life . I follow a ...
A. 25 January 2020: Maybe take a step back from dating (for a little while) and JUST focus on you.
You DEFINITELY don't have to be skinny or "trim" to date. You might have a higher rate of "success" in getting a YES from a guy if you ARE skinny/trim, doesn't mean tha... (read in full...)
Is it psychological ED?
Q. Hello, Not really sure where to start... I'm a relatively young male and I just entered my first relationship. I am a virgin. I've never done anything sexual, other than masturbate. My girlfriend is also a virgin. Very recently, my girlfriend a...
A. 23 January 2020: None of us can diagnose you, OP
My guess is this, YOU have a tight grip on your penis when masturbating, YOU are in control when masturbating. With a partner it's VERY different.
My advice? DO NOT masturbate for 30 days, see what happens.
... (read in full...)
Female 15 year older than male relationship can it work?
Q. I am looking for advice about big age gap relationships and if they can work. I've started to see a guy 15 years younger than me, (2 week) were taking it slow and havent slept together yet. Weve spoken about quietly seeing each other to see if there ...
A. 23 January 2020: I'm curious as to the actual ages.
If you are 40 and he is 25, it might not be as "meeh" as if you are 35 and he is 20. I know, I know the same age difference from each other, but there is a LOT more to it than just numbers.
Do I think it can w... (read in full...)
Is my One Night Stand acting normal?
Q. I joined plenty of fish in August last year, and swapped numbers with a guy, he lived in a differnt town then me , but had family members in my home town, Anyway new years eve he was down and we finally got to meet, i knew from day one that whe...
A. 22 January 2020: I can't tell if he likes you or just hope that YOU are up for anything and then maybe also a 3-some which is why he brought it up.
ANY guy who bring up ADDING another person to the "bedroom fun" after ONE night/day together is NOT looking to have ... (read in full...)
I've lost the desire for sex with my boyfriend.
Q. Me and my bf have been together for 5 years. I really do love him so much but in the last year I've felt little to no desire to sleep with him. I feel terrible but when it does happen it just doesn't feel exciting. Usually he is the only one that ...
A. 21 January 2020: I have to agree, I would NOT move with him when he moves home.
Maybe one of the reason you have lost your desire is because you REALLY DEEP down DO NOT want to move to his country and be isolated with only HIM and HIS family. Even if you don't ha... (read in full...)
Is there a cruel free way to break up?
Q. Hello agony aunts, I've been with my bf for 1 year now, it's been a year full of ups and downs. The first few months of the relationship were great, well he's my first boyfriend, and I felt on cloud 9 with all those emotions and the love I felt, but ...
A. 21 January 2020: There is no EASY way to break up. THAT is a fact. Especially IF he cares for you.
But it is BY far more cruel to STAY with someone you don't really feel you want to be with.
What can you say?
Well, I think a break up should be done IN person... (read in full...)
I don't know how to be alone.
Q. I split up with my ex of 8years 7months ago but only stopped living with him 3months ago. Since splitting up I had a few casual dates that meant nothing and then met this guy I really liked him and I thought everything was going great but he just ...
A. 21 January 2020: I think the reason it hurts is because you WANT "it" so badly (as in A good relationship). Nothing WRONG in that.
You were still living with your ex 3 months ago, so while you had broken up, YOU were reminded DAILY of him and the fact that it ... (read in full...)
What is the ideal male body type?
Q. I have been lifting weights for ten years and had a bodybuilder type of body. Most other males envied me. I assumed women found my type of physique attractive too. So I was surprised that my girlfriend didn't quite like the way I look and wanted me ...
A. 20 January 2020: Women don't have a hive-mind. You DO know that, right?
If WOMEN all liked only ONE type of male bodies there would be a lot of single men and women.
Personally, I'm not a fan of a "body builder look" it looks "fake" to me, like too big implants... (read in full...)
We broke up after 10 years. How long will I be hurting?
Q. Hi Just wondering if anyone could give me some advice.. Here is my story. Last year I broke up with my partner of 10 years not my decision I wanted to work through any issues.. There was no violence or cheating or drug abuse. It hit me hard and I ...
A. 20 January 2020: She will always be part of your life in the sense that she is part of your past.
10 years and you never got married? How come?
What was the issue that broke you two up?
Wanting to wish her a happy life, wanting to know she is doing OK is ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend has a child already, but I'd like to have one of my own.
Q. My boyfriend and I have been together about a year now. He's almost 25 I'm 23. Hes already got one child a beautiful little girl whos 1 and a half. But lately I find myself wanting one of my own more and more. One who can call me momma. Her mother ...
A. 20 January 2020: You definitely DO NOT need a child.
1. you have ONLY been together a year, HE already has a child (which means financial responsibility to another woman and child).
And like Auntie Cindy so perfectly says, THINK about what YOU have to offer a ... (read in full...)
I feel lost in life.
Q. I’m really lost in life. I don’t know what to do anymore. I can’t find any work and I’m just passing life by. I have wasted my 20’s trying to work hard but I just get used by companies and thrown. Now I am trying to find work and I have resorted ...
A. 20 January 2020: I'm sorry things aren't going as well ans they should. Have you tried temp agencies?
You didn't mention what field you are in or have studied for. So maybe you can't go through a temp-agency, but it might be worth a look.
As for clothes, che... (read in full...)
Boyfriend masturbates to people he finds on instagram. I feel like I've been cheated on
Q. I know everybody does it but It’s been three years that we’ve been together and I walked in on my boyfriend masturbating and he pretended he was just gonna take a shower while slamming his laptop. So I did something I regret and snooped and found a ...
A. 20 January 2020: This is why I tell my TEENAGE daughters to consider WHAT they post online. THEY can easily be some dude's spank bank material and that is just not OK.
Now he might be masturbating to women who are "off age" but it really doesn't MAKE it any bett... (read in full...)
I'm trying to put myself in my boyfriend's ex's shoes and wonder why she's behaving the way that she is, but I can't imagine why
Q. My boyfriend's ex is still in the picture but on the peripherals, and I'm finding it hard to understand why. I have tried, so I'm just going to put the facts, coupled with my thoughts, and would like anyone to give me their feedback on what they ...
A. 20 January 2020: She isn't grieving, she is trying to regain control. That is why she sent his stuff back including old love-letters to REMIND him of the "good old days".
She got him to take her back once, and is hoping by pulling the "right" strings she can recl... (read in full...)
My girlfriend appears to be stalking people I know.
Q. I was using my girl’s laptop to finish off some work when I ended up closing my windows and having to open them up through my history upon clicking I realized that she had been pulling up instagrams for people on my Instagram. Upon clicking the ...
A. 20 January 2020: Like WiseOwlE said, it seems to be a common trend these days.
Fact checking your partner through his/her social media and their friends and "followers".
Are the once she has checked up on females only? If so, then she might be a little insecur... (read in full...)
My boyfriend wont even text me while another boy will talk for hours on the phone.
Q. my boyfriend don't give me the attention that I need in he always making excuses about why he did not talk to me. But it is another boy that like me in he been there for me more than him in. me in the other boy be on the phone for 10 hours or 8 ...
A. 20 January 2020: Why would you spend 8-10 hours on the phone with a boy you are NOT really that into?
Because if YOU were into him, you would have dumped your BF and started to date the "phone guy".
You don't NEED your BF's attention, you WANT your BF's attent... (read in full...)
My boyfriend treats me terribly, maybe I deserve it.
Q. Hi everyone, hoping someone can offer some advice.. I'm a 31 year old woman and I've been with my boyfriend for 4 years. He's the same age. He's been living with me for six months, around the same time he lost his job. It wasn't something we ...
A. 17 January 2020: I'm so sorry for your loss.
And NO you DO not deserve this guy treating you this way. I think you need to KICK him out.
When you DO break up give him a WEEK to move his stuff to storage to a friends or WHEREVER. After a week, HE can pick it u... (read in full...)
I've not met this girl, but we talk and I'm smitten!
Q. I want a lot of advice so I'm not sure this question will fall into a single category. I'm a 34 year old virgin - something that I'm not proud of but I guess that's life. I've been with girls and done stuff before and even without the sex I think ...
A. 17 January 2020: I have to agree with Auntie Bim Bim.
If she can not find a baby sitter so you two can met in person, I think you need to cut her loose. I also think that SHE might be a bit more "complicated" to date because of the two kids. Simply because ... (read in full...)
I am uncomfortable with my partner going to strip clubs. Should I go myself to see what goes on?
Q. I've recently had a conversation with my partner about strippers and lapdances. I told him it made me feel uncomfortable at the thought of it and it's inappropriate if in a relationship. I'm now wondering if maybe I've exaggerated it in my head and ...
A. 16 January 2020: I can see that WATCHING your partner get a dance might be uncomfortable, hurt the ego a little but I don't think there would be long term "damage" done.
He wouldn't HAVE to get a lap-dance with you there, would he? For you to get an idea of what ... (read in full...)
I am uncomfortable with my partner going to strip clubs. Should I go myself to see what goes on?
Q. I've recently had a conversation with my partner about strippers and lapdances. I told him it made me feel uncomfortable at the thought of it and it's inappropriate if in a relationship. I'm now wondering if maybe I've exaggerated it in my head and ...
A. 16 January 2020: What long term damage do you think you would sustain watching women take off clothes for money? I mean, I'm NOT a fan in any way shape or form of strip clubs or the idea of women being used as pieces of meat, but.... I don't think strip clubs are ... (read in full...)
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