I feel like the man who left his wife for me is regretting it. Can anyone tell me what to do?
Q. My married boyfriend left his wife for me. We were having an affair for 8 years prior. He moved in with me in November. But instead of feeling happy about this new beginning like I am, he acts hot and cold. One day he is loving and attentive and the ...
A. 13 January 2021: Maybe it's for the best, OP
It might not FEEL great for you, but maybe it's time for you to realize that you DESERVE more from a partner than getting "leftovers"?
My guess is he will come back and give you the "I really love you" song and da... (read in full...)
I feel like the man who left his wife for me is regretting it. Can anyone tell me what to do?
Q. My married boyfriend left his wife for me. We were having an affair for 8 years prior. He moved in with me in November. But instead of feeling happy about this new beginning like I am, he acts hot and cold. One day he is loving and attentive and the ...
A. 11 January 2021: Thank you for the update, OP
He never REALLY did "work" on his marriage with her if he kept in contact with you all along and only went NO contact for about a month. I mean, how can he claim to want to work things out with HER if he still kept you... (read in full...)
I can't stand my teenage kids anymore!!
Q. I can't stand my teenage kids anymore. All they do is expect everything and act entitled and I've had enough. I'm out of work right now and cannot afford much my wife works but doesn't make alot of money. I'm thinking of just letting go and not ...
A. 11 January 2021: You know, they didn't just magically become this way. It didn't happen overnight.
YOU and your wife raised them (I hope) so... Before you decide how much you can't stand than, look at yourself a moment.
Have your kids never had chores? Have the... (read in full...)
Trouble with a friend who borrows money and won't pay it back
Q. Hello So, my friend seems to have money issues. I don't mind helping out sometimes but recently I found out after I borrowed 200.00 a mutual friend also gave 200.00 so I sort of expected mine back. However, she said shes broke and needs it. A...
A. 9 January 2021: Learn from this.
1. Never LEND money you can't afford to "throw away".
2. NEVER lend money "thinking" she will pay it back, HAVE it in WRITING that this is a loan and that SHE will pay it back XX amount every week or month.
Stop trying to ... (read in full...)
I feel like the man who left his wife for me is regretting it. Can anyone tell me what to do?
Q. My married boyfriend left his wife for me. We were having an affair for 8 years prior. He moved in with me in November. But instead of feeling happy about this new beginning like I am, he acts hot and cold. One day he is loving and attentive and the ...
A. 9 January 2021: I think reality struck for him.
He thought he was getting the greener grass, but in reality he wasn't.
There is a reason most relationships that started as an affair don't work out. They are built on a shitty foundation. A foundation of li... (read in full...)
He proposed I said yes but I don't want to marry him!
Q. My boyfriend of a year proposed. I said yes because his family was right there. I don’t want to marry him and I’m freaking out because I’m not married. He’s just not what I want....I don’t know what to do . He’s also still married to his first wif...
A. 9 January 2021: End it.
You don't want him.
I get that you said yes because you felt pressured IN THE MOMENT to say yes, with his family there, but if you don't WANT to marry him, what's the point in being with him? Dating him? You are essentially STRI... (read in full...)
My boyfriend has stayed friends with all of his exs on social media
Q. I'm looking for advice and trying to figure out if I'm being paranoid or not haha. Okay so me and my boyfriend have been together 2 years, live together, have a dog and want a family. We are in love and happy most of the time... Except when it comes ...
A. 9 January 2021: There isn't just ONE way to live your life. To do most things in life.
For him ( I guess) it feels just right to keep them in his life.
For you, obviously NOT keeping exes in your life is YOUR preference and choice.
It is NOT your job as... (read in full...)
Is my boyfriend of 8 years cheating on me again or am I paranoid?
Q. I've been with boyfriend since 2013. We are now both in our 30s. We moved in together pretty quickly. I found out a year into the relationship that he had been lying to and had been chatting to girls online. I told him I was leaving to start my life ...
A. 9 January 2021: OP,
Why are you still with him?
He is NOT reliable, NOT contributing - financially OR emotionally...
You are his care taker and his warden.
He has all these "online pseudo relationships" because he is depressed? Seriously? No, he has... (read in full...)
How can he go from being gay to having a relationship with a younger woman?
Q. Okay can someone please help my confusion here please? I have been friends with a guy for over 20 years just friends as I'm married with kids and he is or I thought was gay. However a year ago this girl entered his life younger, pretty...
A. 9 January 2021: His life his choice.
Not really any of your business to be frank.
Maybe he wants a family and kids and that IS easier with a man and a women. Otherwise, it's adoption and all that entails.
Or maybe he didn't notice women (in that way) unti... (read in full...)
Gf of 2.5 years abruptly moved out - unclear whether I should give up or try to work things out
Q. I am at a loss for what to do with this one. I dated a girl who was 7 years younger than me for over 2.5 years and we lived together for about 7 months. Aside from an issue I have with snoring, things seemed to be going well. 9 days before she moved ...
A. 7 January 2021: She might have had a timeline (which is OK) but for her to think YOU have to follow HER time-line OR else, is kinda... selfish.
If you weren't READY to propose or think about marriage and SHE was, then ending it was the right thing. You shouldn'... (read in full...)
Why did my ex lie?
Q. My ex fiancé and I were going to get married long story short . He moved and three years later he showed me the paper work with al my info which he said he shredded. He ended the relationship he was military and moved away to another county. He t...
A. 7 January 2021: I wonder too what that "paper work" was all about as well. Was it about getting you on his DEERS (health benefits through military) - getting married? Or more important papers? Such as your SSN, bank info etc.
If it was the first. Not so importan... (read in full...)
Should I Leave or am I to blame?
Q. I've been with my boyfriend for 3 years. I had insecurities in the beginning but I worked on them and haven't has issues like that for at least 2 years. He first became extremely angry (name calling and violence) in the beginning and said that I had ...
A. 7 January 2021: Seriously OP?
You call him "the perfect BF?" Except for a couple of times a WEEK where he scream and uses violence?!! How is that in ANY world being a perfect BF? Ever?
Surely, if you REALLY treated him like shit, YOU would know. Right?
... (read in full...)
If I had the money I'd just grab my passport and leave my husband
Q. It's hard for me to admit this, because I have worked hard at my marriage, but I'm not happy. And that's an understatement. My husband has serious anger issues that he doesn't want to deal with. I understand why he is like that, I mean, what I w...
A. 7 January 2021: Rehome your dog.
Then start putting money aside as best as you can, sell stuff you can't bring with you.
When you have enough for a flight out, contact SOMEONE at the other end and ask if you can stay with them. Then take off. Worry about the ... (read in full...)
My husband wants to share me with a friend
Q. my husband wants to share me (wife) with a male friend but when he ask me how far my friend can go I shyly tell him "touch my leg" then a little more advanced " rub my thighs" of which he says " you really don't want him to go that far do you?" ...
A. 7 January 2021: I think you are playing with fire here.
Your husband REALLY don't WANT you to do this. He might like the fantasy of it but make no mistake, this is not something he want.
And if you "can stop your friend" then he isn't a friend he is a predator... (read in full...)
Gf of 2.5 years abruptly moved out - unclear whether I should give up or try to work things out
Q. I am at a loss for what to do with this one. I dated a girl who was 7 years younger than me for over 2.5 years and we lived together for about 7 months. Aside from an issue I have with snoring, things seemed to be going well. 9 days before she moved ...
A. 5 January 2021: OP, she WOULD have reached out already if she had regrets or wanted to continue dating but living apart.
If I were you, I'd focus on your health and sorting this snoring out and on moving on.
While a snoring partner can be hard to get used to, ... (read in full...)
Would it be disrespectful to my dads new wife if I had a photo of my Mother and Father together in a photo frame on display in my house?
Q. Hi Dear cupid. The question I would like to ask is: Would it be disrespectful to my dads new wife if I had a photo of my Mother and Father together in a photo frame on display in my house? (when I move) My mother sadly passed away two year...
A. 5 January 2021: I'm so sorry for your loss.
And no, you can have pictures of your mom, your mom and you, your mom and your dad, ANYWHERE in YOUR house you want.
I don't think that is disrespectful to your dad's new wife. She was your mom and always will be. ... (read in full...)
Was I selfish for breaking up with him or was it for the best?
Q. Hi everyone! So 6 months ago, I broke up with my boyfriend of 6 years and I’ve been plagued with guilt since. 2 years ago my bf witnessed/went through something extremely traumatic and was diagnosed with PTSD, during the early days of his diagnosi...
A. 5 January 2021: Was he seeking help for the PTSD? Was he continuously GETTING help?
If not, there was nothing YOU could do to fix that for him. Trauma is something people have to work through, generally with a good counselor and it can take a long time to "put ... (read in full...)
My family will not get their noses out of my life even though I am 21
Q. I started college in fall of 2019 and my parents changed their mind last minute to say I was going to school in my hometown instead of Toronto because it was too far away and no one we knew went there. That was the point! I did two years here in ...
A. 5 January 2021: You should leave Quinn alone. She is TRYING to be an adult away from home where as you are acting like a rebelling TEENAGER. trying to PRESSURE a friend to do thing - even something as LAME as vape is disgusting. Good for Quinn to get FAR away from ... (read in full...)
I would do anything for my husband but I know he won't for me
Q. My husband is an alcoholic. Idk why it wasnt so obvious before except that I recently quit drinking and I guess his drunkenness is more noticeable. He is active duty. He somehow excels at work and no one knows he is a raging alcoholic. He c...
A. 4 January 2021: Please check out the resources that the military has for spouses.
And consider just taking your son and go to a shelter and then start over on your own.
He knows that financially HE calls all the shots which is why he threaten divorce... (read in full...)
I want my cake and to eat it too and I know I can't
Q. Hi, I am a 33 year old married female. I have been married to my husband for 5 years and together for 9 years. We have two children. My husband is a decent father although with room for improvement. He is a a good guy with wonderful qualities, ...
A. 3 January 2021: OP, you write:
" I would hate to cause him pain."
But you already ARE causing him pain, he just doesn't know, yet.
My advice? Divorce your husband, find a place to live and don't JUMP right into a relationship with " Mr. Sexy Coworker".
J... (read in full...)
My LDR girlfriend's moodiness is getting to me
Q. Hi So I have been with a lady about 1 year. We live in different states and due to covid we havent seen one another in along time. I do still keep in contact when I can. I work full time and she is on disability. She finds things to compl...
A. 3 January 2021: The thing with LDR's is that they rarely work long term. Either one of the two people find someone closer or decide that they are not being fulfilled by a LDR.
Sounds like she isn't just being whiny, she is lonely and not good at finding things t... (read in full...)
How can I be positive when inlaws are so negative?
Q. I would like some advice please on how to deal with negative people when you’re trying to better yourself and become more positive. 2020 took a real toll on my anxiety as I’m sure it did with many people. I became a real negative person which I ...
A. 3 January 2021: If your in-laws talk shit about others in front of you, they will do the same behind your back, NO doubt. That is on them. IF you stay and listen or participate... then it's on you too.
But... you don't HAVE to sit there and listen to it. You can ... (read in full...)
The man I'm dating has a take it or leave it attitude thats hard for me to deal with
Q. Hello! I’m looking for a bit of advice about a man who isn’t very emotionally expressive (or maybe just not that into me). I have been ‘dating’ a guy for three months now, seeing each other only when allowed because of COVID (around 5 dates) b...
A. 2 January 2021: He could say "I miss you" and not mean it, would that be better?
How much older than you is he? I'm guessing 5+? I ask because you mention him having had a 10 year relationship, and you are in the age bracket of 22-25.
What you are hoping for m... (read in full...)
I feel so alone and being controlled by my husband
Q. Dear cupid I have been married for past 3 years and dated my husband 3 years prior. Lately i feel so alone and being controlled by my husband. Its always his way or high way, never seem to take any of my input though we both own the house , i ea...
A. 2 January 2021: 1. Look into a U visa.
(The U nonimmigrant status (U visa) is set aside for victims of certain crimes who have suffered mental or physical abuse and are helpful to law enforcement or government officials in the investigation or prosecut... (read in full...)
Is the relationship worth it or should I end it?
Q. Here is the short version for those who don't want too much background: In a relationship for 10 years. Relationship is good 95% of the time but any time conflict arises and my girlfriend gets mad she breaks up, says she doesn't want to be with ...
A. 2 January 2021: 1. I don't understand people who do this. OVER and OVER. Your relationship with her is it epitome of " “Insanity is doing the same thing, over and over again, but expecting different results.”
2. I get that you two have been together (on and off)... (read in full...)
Gf of 2.5 years abruptly moved out - unclear whether I should give up or try to work things out
Q. I am at a loss for what to do with this one. I dated a girl who was 7 years younger than me for over 2.5 years and we lived together for about 7 months. Aside from an issue I have with snoring, things seemed to be going well. 9 days before she moved ...
A. 2 January 2021: OP, I would take this as a "the relationship is over". She wanted to move at a different speed than you, she wanted something ELSE, or should I say, SOMEONE else. (no one specifically, just NOT you).
My guess is she has stayed over at your pla... (read in full...)
Should I keep fighting for us and the man I love or simply let go of him?
Q. I broke up with my boyfriend of 5 years back in July, as for the last 2 years I felt extremely neglected. He had all the time in the world for everyone else apart from me, he put everyone’s needs and emotions first before mine. I tired to ...
A. 2 January 2021: There isn't much to fight FOR, OP
He wasn't a good BF to you. You weren't a good fit. And when you ENDED it he was verbally abusive and what do you do? You make up EXCUSES for him?!
CUT him off. Stop trying to be his FRIEND. You are not his ... (read in full...)
I would do anything for my husband but I know he won't for me
Q. My husband is an alcoholic. Idk why it wasnt so obvious before except that I recently quit drinking and I guess his drunkenness is more noticeable. He is active duty. He somehow excels at work and no one knows he is a raging alcoholic. He c...
A. 2 January 2021: I think you have hit the nail on it's head all by yourself. You grew up with an mean alcoholic and you ended up marrying a guy JUST like that.
Unfortunately, it's common. To marry a person with traits that align with what you "fear" or perhaps ... (read in full...)
Do I chose between 2 men that don't have all the qualities I want or wait for the whole package?
Q. Okay, so I am knee deep into online dating right now apart from the matrimonial search my parents are on. Until now I have either fallen in love in accidental ways or intensely dated one person at a time. I don't have enough experience to ob...
A. 30 December 2020: Sexual attraction is good to have but it's hardly a be all, end all. Whereas having someone who is on your own level intellectually, perhaps spiritually too, share same norms and values with will more likely last the years, where as sexual ... (read in full...)
Do I reach out to my ex when I know he's having a hard time?
Q. I recently discovered that my childhood sweetheart is having a pretty hard time due to losing his job and his relationship breaking down due to all the pressure of the pandemic. Now I’m happily engaged to be married next year, but I am worried...
A. 30 December 2020: Amen to what Code Warrior said,
While it's kind of you to be concerned, it's no longer your business and it won't end well for anyone.
You can't fix this for him. Even telling him you worry and care. It won't BENEFIT him, you or your fiancé. ... (read in full...)
Why do I end up being the side chick
Q. I am 26 years old and I know there is nothing wrong with me ,but for some reason men who are in a relationship always find there away to me . It’s not that I look desperate or something I am no longer doing online dating etc or looking for a ...
A. 30 December 2020: Why do you end up being the side-chick?
If WE all knew that answer, so would you.
There can be a lot of things, the kind of guy you generally go for, the "type". You might guy with a (superficial) charm (don't we all?) who talks a good gam... (read in full...)
I don't like the choices my girlfriend made in the past getting involved with someone who was involved with someone else
Q. Hi, Need advice Bit of a tricky one. Been with my girlfriend for seven months Everything is going well. A couple of months ago my girlfriend told me about a past fling/relationship she had with her cousins brother in law she met at a fami...
A. 30 December 2020: I think everyone has deal-breakers when it comes to partners and other people in general.
For me, someone cheating on me or admitting they HAVE cheated would be someone I couldn't be with.
It is not for you to "forgive her behavior", it's ... (read in full...)
I’m trapped in a love affair!
Q. What to do if you are trapped in a relationship 3 Well I meat a guy online on a dating side went on a date etc Hit it off pretty well I asked him about his past relationship to make sure that he is really single, and how long he has been single ...
A. 29 December 2020: Do you guys think we will have a chance?
Nope, I think you should wish him well, break up and cut all contact. NO contract from then on.
He has kids with her, which means he's been with her a LOT longer than you. He has responsibilities... (read in full...)
How to rebuild our friendship? She misunderstood concern for being pesky
Q. Hello I am writing to get your help to resurrect my friendship with a work colleague who works for me. Basically we got to know each other since she had some problems at work and I helped her resolve it. She also had some issues with her present...
A. 28 December 2020: It might be her BF felt she spend too much time talking to you or about you so she dropped you like a hot potato to please him and have no drama at home.
Maybe he didn't like that she went to YOU for advice, some men (even if they don't know squ... (read in full...)
How do you process the death of a parent.
Q. In 2017, I lost my father to cancer. We fought a lot, he was really over protective even when I was an adult. I can’t look at his photo. A pain shoots through my chest. I tried anti depressants to see it will help it has not. I tried therapy it...
A. 27 December 2020: I'm so sorry for your loss, OP
I wish I had some great way of helping you through it. I lost my mom over 10 years ago and I still have days where I miss her so much that it makes me hurt and cry. I accept that I have those days.
And time DOES... (read in full...)
My Mom Feels Trapped With Her Psychotic Husband, Help!
Q. TL/DR; My stepdad verbally abuses my mom, lives a double life (straight married man to cross-dressing gay man), and my mom is scared to kick him out because he's psychotic and has a history of making bombs in his earlier years (She's afraid he'll ...
A. 26 December 2020: This is a horrible situation for your mom to be in, and I'm sorry :(
First off, it might BE a good idea if you mom finds a domestic abuse hotline and TALK to someone who can give WAY better advice than we can here on DC. So she can get help in ... (read in full...)
Why does my girlfriend need to talk to this older guy?
Q. My girlfriend talks to this older guy. She is 24 and he is late 40s. When I found out, she said I don’t need to know what i don’t need to worry about - she is very loyal to me. I did not like the fact she spoke to him daily. I became increasingly ...
A. 26 December 2020: As an online gamer myself, I talk to a LOT of people that I game with. I've played one of my games since 1999 on and off. So I have "met" a lot of people, some I have met in person too (with my husband). In the game age is not really the focus as to ... (read in full...)
We broke up and now I'm not invited to the wedding where my daughter is to be the bridesmaid
Q. Hi I broke up with my partner in June and moved out as he wouldn’t we are still on speaking terms and get on better now than we did we have 3 children it was my birthday last week and his family didn’t even get me a birthday card I still get on ...
A. 25 December 2020: EDIT..
It should be up to your daughter whether she wants to be a bridesmaid or not, she should DO it (or NOT do it) to please you.
Should have been:
It should be up to your daughter whether she wants to be a bridesmaid or not, she S... (read in full...)
We broke up and now I'm not invited to the wedding where my daughter is to be the bridesmaid
Q. Hi I broke up with my partner in June and moved out as he wouldn’t we are still on speaking terms and get on better now than we did we have 3 children it was my birthday last week and his family didn’t even get me a birthday card I still get on ...
A. 25 December 2020: You aren't a part of that family (in a sense) any more so it would be awkward to have you at the wedding.
It should be up to your daughter whether she wants to be a bridesmaid or not, she should DO it (or NOT do it) to please you.
I'm SUR... (read in full...)
Should I feel like a slut?
Q. Should I feel like a slut?? Ok backstory, I (16/F) I met this guy (16/M) that was attractive and I wanted to get to know him. For a good week we would see each other every day and play basketball and exchange glances. At one point it was night and...
A. 25 December 2020: Should you feel like one?
I can't tell you HOW you should feel, but I can tell that you need to have a LOT more self-awareness and common sense.
If a boy can convince you to put your MOUTH on his penis after a week of "glances" and a “you alrea... (read in full...)
How to rebuild our friendship? She misunderstood concern for being pesky
Q. Hello I am writing to get your help to resurrect my friendship with a work colleague who works for me. Basically we got to know each other since she had some problems at work and I helped her resolve it. She also had some issues with her present...
A. 25 December 2020: What can you do?
Learn from this, don't get SO over-involved in other peoples lives, if they DO NOT ASK for help. It is NOT your job or calling in life to FIX everyone's lives.
While you might have done it out of kindness and well meaning, it... (read in full...)
Why does My Mum’s boyfriend blatantly lie all the time?
Q. My Mum’s new boyfriend talks so much BS I can’t tell if he’s just joking around or being deadly serious about it. Anyone who is familiar with the Inbetweeners, he’s basically Jay but in his early fifties. He reckons he’s done so much in his life or ...
A. 24 December 2020: I think he is what's called a pathological liar or Compulsive liar. Or, another fancy name for it, mythomaniac.
INFO
"A mythomaniac in psychiatry is someone suffering from mythomania, pseudologia fantastica, or pathological lying. American Psy... (read in full...)
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