I've no clue how to approach gay dating or meeting single men
Q. I'm 34, and while it's taken me some time to accept I'm attracted to men as well as women, I've no clue how to approach gay dating or meeting single men. I don't have anyone to introduce me, and know nothing about this area. I'm attracted t...
A. 3 November 2020: "I also have a possibly stupid worry I'll be not gay enough for some men, not straight enough for some women."
You are not going to appeal to EVERY gay man, nor every straight woman. JUST like, YOU have preferences so does most others.
So you ... (read in full...)
What's a nice way to tell my wife she needs to lose weight?
Q. So I'm in a bit of a dilemma. My wife has put on quite a bit of weight over the past year or so and it's gotten to the point where I don't really find her attractive anymore. What's the nicest way to encourage her to lose weight? I know you'll ...
A. 3 November 2020: I agree with Code Warrior,
This is all about YOU. Not her, her health or your marriage.
LOTS of people have been stressed with this Covid crap and gained weight. Unfortunately.
Have you gained any? If so tell her that you need a partner ... (read in full...)
New GF enjoys strip clubs and looking at other men whilst in a relationship
Q. My new gf of 6 months told me that her and her friends have been to a few male strip clubs and that she enjoys them and would continue to do so. She also said that she enjoys looking at other men and does it even more so when she's in a relation...
A. 2 November 2020: OP, thanks for the update.
You do know staying friends might not be great for any future relationships, right?
Good luck... (read in full...)
Is it a good idea to pay an escort to date me?
Q. Hello I am a male virgin who has never been on a date or kissed a girl. I have many friends who are women but never had a girlfriend. I'm not particularly handsome and I am chubby. I'm bald also. I basically look like a gorilla. I am socially aw...
A. 1 November 2020: An escort won't be dating you.
You will be paying for her to be around. That isn't dating.
Paying for sex won't make you feel better. I bet.
With all those hobbies, so you belong to some forums? or groups/ clubs? maybe you are looking fo... (read in full...)
How can I make my family accept that I want to give birth alone?
Q. Hi everyone, I have a dilemma that has now become a pressing issue. I'm 37 weeks pregnant with my second child amd am being pressured and made to feel guilty for not wanting to take the father or my mother into the delivery room. When I had my first...
A. 1 November 2020: Y'all are so selfish.
I think it's fair enough that you don't want your mom there, and you just need to tell her. Be honest with her. She will get over the hurt once she holds her second grandchild.. she got to be there for #1. She needs to ALS... (read in full...)
My husband disrespects me. I think he's lying and spending time with his baby mama
Q. hello ill try to make this as short as possible, my husband and i have been together for three years. when we were dating he cheated and impregnated someone and we broke up. he asked for another chance and i forgave him. i moved to virginia with him ...
A. 1 November 2020: No matter what, HE is trying to have is cake and eat it too.
Playing family with the babymomma and child and staying married to you. He lies because you get upset when he spends time with the babymomma, but the thing is the kid is perhaps a bit to... (read in full...)
How can I get over a 4 year old crush which turned into love.We’re on good terms but he’s married and he used to teach/tutor me
Q. I’m a 17 year old who’s in love with a married man with two kids who used to be my teacher at school but I still contact him whenever I need help with my studies(he tutors students after school cause he’s really the best at explaining . If you think ...
A. 1 November 2020: Maybe you need to find another tutor and CUT all contact.
It's inappropriate for him to act on this and it IS inappropriate for YOU to keep seeking his attention and "help".
Life isn't easy. Self-control is something you should be practicing. ... (read in full...)
Was I foolish and naive all those years ago ?
Q. Do you think I was unreasonable when I was younger and do you think I’m being silly now and perhaps over reacting ? I get very upset about all this from my past: My first marriage was in 1981 when I was 29yrs old. A week after our wedding my h...
A. 1 November 2020: I agree with Code Warrior.
Don't let Jo, do any more harm to your life. BLOCK her DUMBASS number, BLOCK her on social media. Set up HER email address to go to JUNK mail. If you see one from her, JUST delete it. You don't OWE her shit! Least of... (read in full...)
Always the rebound girl, never the girlfriend!
Q. Why am I always the rebound girl and never the girlfriend?! I don't know what it is about me but I always seem to attract or I'm attracted to emotionally unavailable guys and it makes me want to hit my head against the wall. I've never been in a ...
A. 1 November 2020: Well for one, STOP frigging DATING guys fresh out of relationships!
That should be a no brainer!
Take things a LOT slower.
Get of dating apps a bit. Do you. Get into hobbies, spend time with friends.
I think a little distance from the... (read in full...)
I'm tired of playing games. Should I end it with my girlfriend?
Q. I asked my girlfriend to meet up for halloweeen and she said we can’t this year because of COVID-19. It’s Halloween, I am working and she has just told me that she won’t be around evening as she is going out. I’m stuck with work (as she told me ...
A. 1 November 2020: Don't dump friends for a partner unless they are no good. Any GF what wants YOU to not have friends of your own is NOT a good partner.
If your friends were good people, rekindle your friendships.
Don't rely on ONE person to be your whole world... (read in full...)
My parents are making a big deal about me moving out? I am an adult.
Q. Hello, I need advice. I recently told my parents that I am going to move out once I save enough money next year. They are now guilt-tripping me saying no one will be there when they die. I am the youngest of six and turn 25 soon. Surely one of my ...
A. 1 November 2020: Keep your cards close to your chest.
You save up, you learn to budget, you plan and when things are right, YOU move out.
At 25/26 you are definitely ready to go out on your own.
It doesn't mean you can't still check up on them, does it?
... (read in full...)
I cut her off. How will I ever know if she was interested?
Q. I recently unfriended a girl I had a strong crush on. I think she had a big crush on me also which makes me confused. We both were in relationships and were up front that we were, just general chit chat at first which led to this conversation. We...
A. 1 November 2020: I agree with Code Warrior,
IT DOESN'T MATTER!
What does matter is that YOU did the right thing.
If you are still dating someone else, either FIGURE out how to make it work well again, or END it. Don't leave your GF in limbo.
If you end ... (read in full...)
My former superior made work hellish. I’m out of her oversight now but am wondering if I can stay at the company. Your advice, please!
Q. Dear Aunts and Uncles. Would love to hear your feedback and insights on this one. I have been employed at this company for more than a year now. I was instrumental in launching a major product and major partnership last year thereby generating the ...
A. 29 October 2020: I have to agree with WiseOwlE
You have handled this fine! Great in fact. However, ONE thing I would consider if I were you.... is to be honest with your new boss. When he asked about your performance review you should have mentioned that you requ... (read in full...)
My former superior made work hellish. I’m out of her oversight now but am wondering if I can stay at the company. Your advice, please!
Q. Dear Aunts and Uncles. Would love to hear your feedback and insights on this one. I have been employed at this company for more than a year now. I was instrumental in launching a major product and major partnership last year thereby generating the ...
A. 29 October 2020: I have to agree with WiseOwlE
You have handled this fine! Great in fact. However, ONE thing I would consider if I were you.... is to be honest with your new boss. When he asked about your performance review you should have mentioned that you requ... (read in full...)
The stars do align between me and my boyfriend, but there are some concerns with him as my future husband. Your advice?
Q. Dear Cupid, I'm writing you to get your advice on my relationship with a man I've been involved with since March of this year. We have been exclusively dating since June and have built a healthy relationship so far. This was a relationship tha...
A. 29 October 2020: 1. Decline staying at his when it's not clean. If you come over and it's nasty, either suggest you go to your place or that you can't stay over. DO NOT offer to clean it. THAT is HIS responsibility. If you do, you might end up being the one who ... (read in full...)
My male colleague distances himself when I told him my feelings. Any advice about moving on, and what I should have done differently?
Q. I am looking for insight on this situation of mine of a relationship that had dissolved. I am seeking a career change because it holds poor memories. I had a friendship with a male colleague for a year which I know he valued. I thought that he recip...
A. 29 October 2020: Why did you confess your feelings if you KNEW he has gotten a GF? I mean were you LOOKING to make a "mug" of yourself? Slap yourself in the face?
It makes PERFECT sense for him to distance himself from you when he started a relationship. Because ... (read in full...)
I befriended a co-worker who has many issues and I don’t know how to end the friendship!
Q. I need help, I seem to have got myself into a horrible situation. First thing is first I would like to acknowledge my own short coming and my responsibility here. I started a new job with an office of 25-30 women in one big room. I'm not much for...
A. 28 October 2020: Smart advice, Code Warrior....
I didn't think of that, but I think it definitely could work.
... (read in full...)
I befriended a co-worker who has many issues and I don’t know how to end the friendship!
Q. I need help, I seem to have got myself into a horrible situation. First thing is first I would like to acknowledge my own short coming and my responsibility here. I started a new job with an office of 25-30 women in one big room. I'm not much for...
A. 28 October 2020: I would simply tell her that you can't handle HER issues on top of everything else you got going on in her life, you didn't mean to make her feel like she could rely so heavily on you, PLEASE suggest she seeks help and then BLOCK her number if you ... (read in full...)
What is an open marriage like?
Q. I have a problem with my sexlife. Usually it is the other way around but my wife always wants it and I dont feel like it. This has been going on for awhile. I think part of it is the stress from my job and just life in general but my libido is ...
A. 28 October 2020: Before you consider an open marriage, have you been to see your doctor?
Drop in libido can be due to drop in testosterone and many other MEDICAL reasons.
Also I think YOU have to decide if you want a WIFE who screws other men. What if she fall... (read in full...)
It’s been an emotional roller coaster for me after the breakup! Any insights would be helpful!
Q. A couple of months ago, I broke things off with the first, serious possible partner I’ve ever had. It was fast and intense, with thousands of messages, calls, and video chats. Nothing like any prolonged dating I’d had previously. The first time...
A. 28 October 2020: Vent away, OP
If writing it down helps you start to sort it out, then go for it.
If you then later have questions or want advice just say so.
One little thing I want YOU to focus on when working on moving on, is this:" But there were so... (read in full...)
How do I proceed? I'm in love with my ex who is in a relationship
Q. Hello, my ex and I broke up about six months ago, she recently got in touch with me and we began talking and I confessed that I was still in love and wanted to get back together. She is in a relationship and I told her I wasn’t asking her for ...
A. 28 October 2020: You need to block her and let her go, I think you are being unfair to your ex and to her new partner.
You wouldn't want someone to try and play emotional mind games of TRYING to break up YOU new relationship (if you had one)? Would you?
It's... (read in full...)
Do I tell my friend about her teenaged son's attraction to me?
Q. Hi I am 44 and I have been divorced for 6 months. The divorce was hard on me and I have very low self esteem and ended up having to move in with my friend and her son. Over the course of the months I have been staying with my friend I noticed...
A. 27 October 2020: Time to move out.
YOU are being inappropriate. It is NOT OK to get your geo boosts from a teenager, you are a GROWN ASS woman!
Your friend took you in IN KINDNESS because you were in a hard place after a divorce and you repay her by flaunting... (read in full...)
I made a huge mistake and now, what should I do?
Q. So, there's a lot of history here and i feel like all the details are important so forgive this very long story/question. This girl [I'll call her X] and I have been messing around since we were teenagers. We're now in our 30s. We were a couple f...
A. 26 October 2020: I really didn't want to answer this question because you, The OP, is a totally selfish twat who lives in La-la land.
But then I thought, maybe you need a little "outsiders view" to make you see reality. Maybe you won't, who knows? Here is a wake u... (read in full...)
What does "I don't see you that way" mean and how to change it?
Q. I'm a male virgin who's never kissed a girl or been on a date. Whenever I work up the courage to ask a girl out, I always get told "You're a sweet guy but I just don't see you that way." What does that mean? I always interpret it that I am too ug...
A. 26 October 2020: I definitely agree with CodeWarrior,
Don't make asking someone out SUCH a big deal, because the possible rejection will feel much worse.
But I also agree with anon who said that you might be asking out girls who aren't attracted to you... (read in full...)
How to deal with a pregnant friend who is constantly seeking attention?
Q. How to deal with a pregnant friend who is constantly seeking attention? Hi aunts and uncles, I'm looking for some advice on how to deal with a friend who's been constantly seeking attention and her recent pregnancy has made it even worse...
A. 25 October 2020: You write:
"My problem is that whenever I do not respond she gets upset and starts "preaching" and uses her pregnancy as an excuse. She was like that even before. But as I said, now it's worse.
Our mutual friends have exactly the same experien... (read in full...)
My boyfriend has a very strange relationship with his mother! Am I overthinking or shoul I run?
Q. Help! I have almost been dating a guy for a year. He has a very strange relationship with his Mom. She’s very possessive over him. He lives in a mother in law apartment with his Parents. He makes sexual jokes with his Mom. Once I was down stairs ...
A. 25 October 2020: It does sound a TAD "too familiar" for a mom and son, but I think it's more of a "first child" thing, where the mom puts most of her energy into that FIRST son and does everything she can to keep him close, and you know what? IT worked!
He mu... (read in full...)
My boyfriend is quite narcissistic! How do I respond to him?
Q. Hello, I feel like my boyfriend is narcissistic and I'm getting tired of his behaviors. Lately, when I talk to him about my day, he interjects with how he's doing. Sometimes, he'll only respond in texts with one word answers like "Okay" or "Cool"...
A. 25 October 2020: I have to agree with Code Warrior, it is a HUGE red flag that he will toss out a statement like :"You're mine, got it?" Because it tells you right there how he sees you. YOU are property. You are there for HIS sake. You are there to prop him up.
... (read in full...)
Girlfriend upset because I like instagram photos of fitness women
Q. Hi, This may seem small but hear me out. Been with my gf for 6 months now. The other day she asks me why I like all these Instagram posts of fitness girls/insta models etc etc. She says I like alot of them and it upsets her. We follo...
A. 23 October 2020: What is good for the gander is good for the goose, but in this case... not so much.
I'm not going to tell you that you can't "like" some stranger (to you) woman's pictures, but I would ask you to consider what you actually get out of it. Does it ... (read in full...)
He says he just wants to leave things as they are. Does that mean he's not interested?
Q. Guy I’ve been seeing has just broke it off saying he’s just not ready for a relationship at the moment and wants to leave things as they are for now. Does this mean he’s not interested at all? He’s had a lot on with work and his mum being ill but ...
A. 22 October 2020: Forget about him.
If he doesn't have time or energy for a relationship, he really can't expect YOU to just sit on a shelf and WAIT for him to take you down and try again.
Wish him well, block, and delete all contact info.
Don't waste you... (read in full...)
Is he making me out to be an idiot? I'm not sure he's over his ex
Q. I would like some advice please. I have been dating a guy since June. At first I found out he hadn’t been in a relationship for 6 years since his ex (first relationship) she cheated on him with his best friend... I then find out he is still in ...
A. 22 October 2020: Aww, I'd wish him well and end it before you get in to deep.
No, he isn't over her. She is enjoying having him as a back up and for him to worship him when she needs the ego boost.
Also, FWIW I don't think it's your job to tell him who he can b... (read in full...)
Whats the best way to find a therapist to talk to about depression
Q. A few weeks ago, one of my friends who I known for over 20 years committed suicide. This week, I found out that my best friends 15 years old daughter's cancer returned (she been in remission for three years). I am very worried about her. I hav...
A. 22 October 2020: I'd go through your doctor. They can recommend a few different options then you pick one and call to book an appointment.
First visit will probably be a basic questionnaire.
And mind you, not all counselors can prescribe meds, some focus on fi... (read in full...)
Was he my friend or was I played?
Q. Can someone please help, as my head is in a mess. I’ve being friends with a guy for the past year. I met him through work and we really got on well. We don’t work together all the time just occasionally. The past couple of months we’ve being mess...
A. 22 October 2020: Did you ask this question a week ago?
You won't get different answers I'm afraid. You messed up when you made the choice to have sex.
Going back to being "just friends" is not realistic. For most people.
The fact that he has distanced hi... (read in full...)
How would other have handled the relationship I was in?
Q. I have the highest respect for the aunts on this website. So any tough love is more than welcome. A year back I met a guy who works in retail. Three years younger than me. I have a STD. He doesn't. So it seemed like a fairy tale. He earns mu...
A. 20 October 2020: If you are dealing with depression, have you talked to a doctor?
I'm not saying "get on meds" but TALKING to someone can perhaps help you work your way out of the depression you mention.
People sometimes get so used to thinking that this feelin... (read in full...)
Should I tell my mom that I think my stepdad is cheating on her?
Q. I am a 19 year old male living with my mom and my step dad. I have a growing suspicion that my stepdad is cheating on my mom, or at the least watching porn behind her back, and here are some reasons why I think this: First, I have seen him take ...
A. 19 October 2020: I also think you need to trust your mom to deal with HER relationship in whatever manner SHE chooses.
Now, If you see him ACTUALLY cheat - then I'd it run by her, first as a hypothetical situation.
As for the fact that the guy watches porn - r... (read in full...)
How would other have handled the relationship I was in?
Q. I have the highest respect for the aunts on this website. So any tough love is more than welcome. A year back I met a guy who works in retail. Three years younger than me. I have a STD. He doesn't. So it seemed like a fairy tale. He earns mu...
A. 19 October 2020: EDIT
I wrote:
" 4. Accept that the $2,300 is probably a loss. However if you have ANYTHING in writing you CAN take him to small claims court. TALK to a lawyer."
Should have been...
4. Accept that the $2,700 is probably a loss. However... (read in full...)
My new love wants children or child I don't how can I tell him no and still marry him?
Q. Afternoon everyone, So I'm back in the dating world and my children disapproves of it especially my son my daughter acts happy but I sense differently.So me and my now love are engaged now we have plans to travel move in together and just living ...
A. 19 October 2020: OK, the updates makes it clear as mud, OP
BUT I'm going to guess? that what you are saying is that you HAVE told him that you don't WANT any more children and probably can't HAVE any, but to make 100% sure... you want to go on birth control?... (read in full...)
I cheated got my ex pregnant. Should I attend the birth of the baby?
Q. I cheated on my girlfriend months ago with my ex partner. My ex and I have a child together. My ex is pregnant and says its mine. If it is I will take full responsibility. My girlfriend has forgiven me. Under the circumstances should I attend ...
A. 19 October 2020: I'm with CindyCares,
I wouldn't either. You don't know 100% that the baby it yours, you are already on thin ice with your GF, BECAUSE YOU CHOSE TO CHEAT!!
I think you are trying to get the best of both relationships here. This is all about you... (read in full...)
Why can a guy cheat and it's ok but not ok if his gf does it!???
Q. Maybe somebody here can tell me why a guy who cheats on you when the opportunity comes up cheats on you but gaslights the hell out of you every time? Why does he do this to you? Why does he profess his love for you and try so hard to hold onto you? ...
A. 19 October 2020: Let me turn this around...
IF he does ALL these shitty thing... WHY are you with him? Who do you ALLOW him to treat you this way?
I absolutely agree with Cindycares.
You are putting all the blame on him so you can be the martyr GF on your hi... (read in full...)
How would other have handled the relationship I was in?
Q. I have the highest respect for the aunts on this website. So any tough love is more than welcome. A year back I met a guy who works in retail. Three years younger than me. I have a STD. He doesn't. So it seemed like a fairy tale. He earns mu...
A. 19 October 2020: How would I handle the situation?
1. Learn from this.
2. Date equals (financially and otherwise)
3. Accept that you made a bad choice in partner AND investment. He wasn't worth it personally OR financially.
4. Accept that the $2,300 is ... (read in full...)
New GF enjoys strip clubs and looking at other men whilst in a relationship
Q. My new gf of 6 months told me that her and her friends have been to a few male strip clubs and that she enjoys them and would continue to do so. She also said that she enjoys looking at other men and does it even more so when she's in a relation...
A. 19 October 2020: To anon female,
I don't think the majority here would tell a woman to "suck it up" if her Bf went to a strip club.
Most of us would tell her to DECIDE for herself if it is a deal breaker or not. If it is... then the BF should be out the door.... (read in full...)
This old friend of his is getting on my nerves! Should I just let him block her?
Q. Okay so I have been seeing my other half for around 6 months now. Everything is great between us however he has a female friend he has know for 20 years she is just a friend and married herself ect. However she is driving me mental now she mails or ...
A. 18 October 2020:
He is trying to be "transparent" with you about his friendship with her, which I think is good, but I think you ought to tell him that you DO NOT need or want to be updated on what she posts or says because 1. you trust him and 2. she is no one t... (read in full...)
My new love wants children or child I don't how can I tell him no and still marry him?
Q. Afternoon everyone, So I'm back in the dating world and my children disapproves of it especially my son my daughter acts happy but I sense differently.So me and my now love are engaged now we have plans to travel move in together and just living ...
A. 18 October 2020: I think it's only fair to tell him, look I know you want more kids, I can't give you any. I'm 49 and can not go through another pregnancy.
The likelihood of you conceiving "naturally" is VERY low at 49. But it is possible, however the chance o... (read in full...)
New GF enjoys strip clubs and looking at other men whilst in a relationship
Q. My new gf of 6 months told me that her and her friends have been to a few male strip clubs and that she enjoys them and would continue to do so. She also said that she enjoys looking at other men and does it even more so when she's in a relation...
A. 17 October 2020: Maybe she isn't the right fit for you?
I personally could care less about ogling some semi nude sweaty men. I think strip-clubs are gross, they smell like piss and cheap beer, drinks are overpriced, and the "performers" don't REALLY want to be th... (read in full...)
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