Why does My Mum’s boyfriend blatantly lie all the time?
Q. My Mum’s new boyfriend talks so much BS I can’t tell if he’s just joking around or being deadly serious about it. Anyone who is familiar with the Inbetweeners, he’s basically Jay but in his early fifties. He reckons he’s done so much in his life or ...
A. 24 December 2020: I think he is what's called a pathological liar or Compulsive liar. Or, another fancy name for it, mythomaniac.
INFO
"A mythomaniac in psychiatry is someone suffering from mythomania, pseudologia fantastica, or pathological lying. American Psy... (read in full...)
My ex got married is pregnant and is now back in my life
Q. My ex gf of 9 years, broke up with me recently. She jumped into a relationship right away and did not take the time to get over our relationship and properly move on. We had a good relationship, but it was not really moving anywhere, so she felt ...
A. 24 December 2020: I think I would go SUPER SLOW here. If she jumped straight from you to another and once this other guy didn't work she is RIGHT back at your door, she is NOT giving herself enough time to process the break ups. Neither of them.
And this time, th... (read in full...)
My daughter is fragile and pregnant but her behavior of not remembering the past the way it actually happened bothers me
Q. I would appreciate advice, please, about an issue related to my daughter who is now 32 and in a steady job, has a long term partner (7 years) and who I generally have a good relationship with but who I am concerned about. I may be enabling ...
A. 24 December 2020: I don't understand why you are so passive, OP
If she says I remember that you told me you would kick me out if I cut my hair -why didn't you immediately tell her no, That was never a thing. I think you remember things very different from what act... (read in full...)
Need help approaching a potentially suicidal friend.
Q. I have this "friend" who I met at work when I was 17, he developed feelings for me whilst working together and I flirted with him a little but he never did anything about it. I have recently been talking to a friend who knows him quite well and he ...
A. 23 December 2020: OP, you sound like a nice person but I think your friend is right. Don't think it's YOUR job to "RESCUE" this man. You talking to him and TELLING him what is OK and what is NOT OK is not going to FIX his issue or his suicidal thoughts.
It's ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend loves to travel but I don't. How do we get past this?
Q. My boyfriend has a longtime passion for travel. He has flown to many places all over the world before we met. I, on the other hand, don't need to travel to be happy. And I don't share his passion. I am also terrified of flying. He is now planning ...
A. 23 December 2020: Well, for one, you can ask him to look into travelling by bus train for a start. That way you don't have to start and end your vacation with fear.
I'd say TRY one holiday with him and see how it goes.
Neither of you are likely to change. I LOV... (read in full...)
In this relationship, is talking - and maybe flirting - with other men cheating?
Q. have an ethical dilema......is it cheating if I am in a relationship that is more like a friendship( he sleeps in one room, I sleep in the other, he has no intention to marry me because I won't give him kids, I cook for him and take care of him ...
A. 23 December 2020: So if you can't leave him for financial reason, I think you need to have enough of a conscience to not flirt with strangers online.
Or have a straight up TALK about what you are both looking for and if you CAN turn this into a room-mate situatio... (read in full...)
I think I outted myself for no reason and now unsure of what to do
Q. Told my bf of 6 years and my sister that I am bisexual while drunk and now I feel ashamed and disgusted with myself. My sister's reaction was just is that it ? Because I said I have something to say. My bf reacted by saying I could sleep with women ...
A. 23 December 2020: Being bisexual doesn't mean you get a free pass to cheat, or rather it shouldn't, IMHO.
It just means you can be attracted to some men and some women.
If you want to "try" women, I think you should honestly break up with your BF.
Even if ... (read in full...)
My always broke boyfriend asked for money and when I offered him some he said it wasn't nearly enough
Q. Hello So I have been with my boyfriend for 4 years and hes always broke. Always some scenario happening. I have grown tired of it. His most recent request is hes broke can I help him. I offered 80.00 and he declined. He said it's not enoug...
A. 23 December 2020: Stop giving him money.
Learn to say no.
And yeah, DOES he pay you back when he "borrows" money from you?
You say you "send him" - I presume you SEND him money? So where does he live? Another country?
If he asks for money, I'd tell him to ... (read in full...)
I know it wouldn't work but I can't seem to move on
Q. I broke up with my ex around 5 months ago which I know deep down was for the best. Although we had a lot of ups in the relationship we were like best friends, we made some amazing memories in a year and I did and I believe I still do love him but he ...
A. 22 December 2020: Sometimes, when you have been in a VERY dramatic relationship you get "hooked" on the drama MORE than the person. Because it feels like passion, and it feels like they would have all these issues with you, IF they didn't care deeply for you. So... ... (read in full...)
Is it ok for her to act like this when she has a partner?
Q. My partner and I are both 40. We’ve been together for about 5 months. She’s a fairly recent divorcee who I was friends with for 10 years before we got together. I adore her, but she flirts with other men and it does my head in. She was abused...
A. 22 December 2020: I have to agree with WiseOwlE,
have you asked her what is going on?
And how SHE would feel if YOU did the same.
If she is in a relationship with you, I don't think it's approrpiate for her to be all flirty in front of you. Banter at work, ... (read in full...)
I feel like I lost a lover even though we never met in person
Q. Hello I've matched with a guy on tinder and asked for his WhatsApp number and we started chatting we both agreed on first getting to know each other better, we have a few things in common both introverted and both the boring type eg.dont have a ...
A. 21 December 2020: I have to agree with Kenny,
I'm sorry OP, this guy was using you as "entertainment" while working on his broken heart or simply because he is bored and lonely.
And I know that hurts. To know you invested emotionally in someone who wasn't REALL... (read in full...)
I'm not interested in having my husband's baby. He won't accept no as an answer
Q. Hello all happy holidays I just got engaged and now my husband to be is talking babies already.I did mention I don't have the desire of becoming pregnant again even for him.Im feeling like he is not trying to hear anything I say he wants to adopt ...
A. 21 December 2020: So are you engaged or married?
If you are "only" engaged, I think you need to consider NOT going forward with marriage.
You two want different things. He wants another child, YOU do not.
Also, IF he already KNEW you wanted no more children,... (read in full...)
In this relationship, is talking - and maybe flirting - with other men cheating?
Q. have an ethical dilema......is it cheating if I am in a relationship that is more like a friendship( he sleeps in one room, I sleep in the other, he has no intention to marry me because I won't give him kids, I cook for him and take care of him ...
A. 20 December 2020: I'd say yes.
Because YOU call it a relationship.
Maybe you should ASK him? Wouldn't that be better?
If you two are more like room mates why not have a chat and DEFINE what you have to being ROOM MATES not "in a relationship"? That way ... (read in full...)
Is anyone ever too busy really if they are interested in more than friends?
Q. Hi! So basically I'm very interested in a girl, we seem to match well, we have fun when we meet, but I feel it's not really progressing. Whenever I talk to her, she is very warm, thoughtful, asking lots of questions, suggesting things we ...
A. 19 December 2020: There can be so many things in play here.
1. she comes from a different culture so you are not "reading" her right.
2. she is new to your country and was "desperate" for friends but her priority is establishing her business and get on her feet.... (read in full...)
He can't get hard anymore
Q. I’ve been dating a guy for about five months will call him, Richard The first two months we weren’t physical and then the second two months we started sleeping together. No issues except he is on antidepressants and if any of you have ever been o...
A. 19 December 2020: It can be the medication, for sure.
But there can be other underlying medical reason. And stress is another possible culprit.
I think he ought to go see his doctor and see what hi/she has to say.
You say he started having other medical pro... (read in full...)
How can I help my boyfriend get past the guilt of leaving his wife for me?
Q. My boyfriend left his wife for me. It was a 30 year marriage. His children are grown and have families of their own. He is happy with his decision but can't help feeling guilty for what he's done to his wife, kids and grandkids. He was not happy in ...
A. 19 December 2020: He did hurt his family.
I think you are going to have to accept that this is ALSO a HUGE loss for him. He is GRIEVING. His family is grieving.
It doesn't make ANY difference that his ex-wife and he had no sex for 20 years. He doesn't get a "m... (read in full...)
I'm unsure of who is the father due to the doctor's calculations
Q. I had sex with my ex boyfriend in August cut off ties right after. Took time to myself and in October began seeing someone. October 13, I had 4 days of heavy cramping and then a heavy period for couple days. Right after that, the new guy I was ...
A. 19 December 2020: Does your new BF know that you were seeing someone in August?
Because there is little doubt as to who is the father. If you are 16 weeks = 4 months... so it can not be your NEW BF as you have only been with his 2 months. That is logic.
Also...... (read in full...)
I can't be the only reason someone lives or dies
Q. I am in a fairly new relationship however me and this guy have been great friends for the past 2 years so it feels like we have been together for a lot longer than 4 months. Recently he has become really clingy and shown some things I think are ...
A. 19 December 2020: First of all,
You ARE not responsible for HIS life, HIS entertainment, HIS choices (including self-harm). You DO NOT - I will repeat this... YOU DO NOT have that kind of power. Seriously.
I think IF (when) he brings up feeling down or suicidal... (read in full...)
Is he hiding his true feelings?
Q. Hello my favourite advice group. I used to write here in the past , and even was a moderator but it’s been a long time and I’ve forgotten my username. Anyway , I am writing about this guy i met online about a month ago. We started texting and...
A. 18 December 2020: By the way, I don't think he is "some freak" but I do think he has issues that are in the way of him having a healthy relationship with someone. In most respects he sounds like a great person. He just isn't at his best mentally.
While he is with ... (read in full...)
Is he hiding his true feelings?
Q. Hello my favourite advice group. I used to write here in the past , and even was a moderator but it’s been a long time and I’ve forgotten my username. Anyway , I am writing about this guy i met online about a month ago. We started texting and...
A. 17 December 2020: Yikes, OP
I can see WHY you are confused. There is way to much pull and push with this guy. Maybe because he really doesn't know what he wants.
So my advice would be to GIVE him space. Once he fixes your laptop and you PAY him for the job, you... (read in full...)
Why am I so fixated on him?
Q. I need help. I am a 35 year old woman who has a ridiculous crush on someone who is totally uninterested in me and I cannot for the life of me stop thinking about him. We met over a year ago and had a bit of friendly banter. A few months later he ...
A. 17 December 2020: I kind of agree with Code Warrior,
You want what you can't have, and you want him because he rejected you, so you can SHOW him HE made a mistake.
Why can't you get him out of your head? My guess?
1. you can't get out and meet new people ... (read in full...)
I believe he is a scammer. Your opinion?
Q. Hello and thank you ! A man contacted me on Instagram. We've been chatting a couple of months. Seems nice and sweet but I've been very cautious. We're from different countries, different cultures and an age gap. He says he works but whe...
A. 17 December 2020: Yeah, he is probably a scammer.
1. Nigeria. (Scammer central)
2. Wants you to come to GIS country to marry him? After talking a couple of months?
3. Keep deleting his social media? (suspect)
4. Ask for help with his rent though he cla... (read in full...)
Is he just taking it slow?
Q. I met a guy from a dating site a year ago. I am still on the dating site and so is he and he sent a messsge to say that we tried before but I got nasty with him. I told him I could not remember why and I just thought he wasn’t interested in me. He ...
A. 16 December 2020:
Are schools even in person in the UK? I know most schools here in the US are online.
Also HE has your number but he messaged you on the dating site that his daughter got hurt? HE didn't bother calling you? Or suggesting another day for a rainch... (read in full...)
What should I do when subordinates start crying?
Q. I am a manager of a team of about 15-20 people. Most of them are men. I have only been in this role for about 3 years so I am still getting acclimated. One of the things I struggle with is what to do when faced with the situation where my subor...
A. 16 December 2020: First of all, get a box of Kleenex tissues. If you can't conform with a hug (which I can understand is really uncomfortable when it's someone you don't know well) giving them a Kleenex is in a sense a show of compassion. It's SHOWING the person that ... (read in full...)
Is this a toxic relationship?
Q. I’ve been with my significant other for 13 years, and with my history of questions I’ve posted here, you can see it hasn’t been all paradise This pandemic had showed me a lot. I work In healthcare so when the pandemic happened In March and things...
A. 16 December 2020: You know he isn't there FOR you or your kids, yet you wonder if this is toxic?
Don't GIVE him a SINGLE penny. If he wants ANYTHING he can apply for unemployment OR seek employment - which IS possible, even in this time of "the Plague". Even if ... (read in full...)
My husband since 2002
Q. My husband has admitted to me he's been depressed since 2002, but pretended to be happy. We met in August 1999 aged 24, married 3 years later, but since then he said everything's been dull for him, even the sex, it wasn't as fun as when we were ...
A. 13 December 2020: If the pictures have been out there since 2004 - then it's been 16 years. Your husband probably look different now, so the likelihood of being recognized is a lot less. Doesn't mean it's not hurtful to him.
If I were him, I'd consider contacti... (read in full...)
How do I keep my distance from this cousin?
Q. When I was 13 years old (I am a male), my second cousin, who is the same age as me, pressure me into having sex with her. Over the years, until I went away for college, we would have sex once every few months. I am embarrass that I lost my virgin...
A. 13 December 2020: BE honest with her.
Tell her:" no, I don't want you to come visit, NO I don't want you around me or my family. I'm still processing what happened when I was 13 and I'm STILL not OK with what you did. So LEAVE me alone."
And consider talking... (read in full...)
Did this old friend ever even like me?
Q. This is one of the harshest and most disappointing rejections I have ever experienced. Before reading, please keep in mind that I was not aware of what I found out later on and yes, I may have been too forward, I don’t know.. I have know this g...
A. 13 December 2020: Lady, welcome back to reality....
If NOTHING happened in 6 YEARS, there wasn't GOING to have anything happen.
Also you really don't know the guy, this was a lot of "looks and smiles" which means absolutely jack-shit in the big picture.
Thin... (read in full...)
Girlfriend still in touch with ex her friend with benefits
Q. Hey there. So I have been seeing this girl for 7 months now (in a relationship for 4 months). Around 2 months into seeing her she mentioned she had a Friend with Benefits that she stopped seeing when we started dating. Im completely fine with tha...
A. 13 December 2020: I would just bring it up that you find it kind of uncomfortable that she is still in contact.
Would SHE want YOU to be in contact with someone you "just banged"?
I'd listen to how and what she says. If she is SUPER defensive and tells you th... (read in full...)
I cringe when my boyfriend touches me
Q. Me and my bf have been together for 7 years. I'd say 3 of those have been really happy. The last four years have been trying due to family problems on my side. It's been very stressful. I ended up having panic attacks and severe anxiety. I went to ...
A. 13 December 2020: You can't MAKE yourself WANT to be with someone, in general or intimately.
Have you considered that you two may not BE great for each other? He sounds like a dick.
While I get that you TRY to be intimate, I can't imagine how horrible he must... (read in full...)
Is he just taking it slow?
Q. I met a guy from a dating site a year ago. I am still on the dating site and so is he and he sent a messsge to say that we tried before but I got nasty with him. I told him I could not remember why and I just thought he wasn’t interested in me. He ...
A. 13 December 2020: I think it is a waste of your time to "try again" - obviously what YOU want from a partner and what HE has to offer doesn't match.
Last time you "got nasty" with him - really? Because you thought he wasn't interested? And then a year later he... (read in full...)
Dating a married woman now she suddenly becomes distant, what should I do?
Q. hi, been dating a married woman for a month, but chatted for few years before meeting, know everything about each other, even her husband her family and her husbands family kept hassling her and asking about me (because they keep seeing me ...
A. 11 December 2020: Um, female anon...
He didn't mention in the first one that she was married so the answers are actually a little different, it's an important detail, and yes, I think we all saw it was the same poster...... (read in full...)
Should I choose a career path that is not acceptable by my society?
Q. Hi all, I hope you can help me with a cultural question. Sorry if my English is not very good. I speak English at home but I grew up in a Southeast Asian country. In my country I am considered a banana. This means I am yellow on the outside...
A. 11 December 2020:
I get the difference for a woman in Muslim countries, though, of course not, to the extend that a MUSLIMS/ Non-Muslim woman would who has lived it, as I never had. I have been to a couple of Muslim countries (Tunisia and Morocco) but it was as a to... (read in full...)
Should I forgive my abusive brother-in-law?
Q. My sister has been with her fiancé for 16 years. He helped my sister raise 3 of her children from another man. They then had a child together. Through the last few years, my sister has shared with me he has put his hands on her when he gets drunk. ...
A. 11 December 2020: Domestic violence is ugly, on all levels. Except, for the abuser.
You can't forget, so what is the use of pretending?
Forgive? No, I don't think you HAVE to forgive him either. Personally, I couldn't forgive any one who hurt a loved one.
Pe... (read in full...)
Should I choose a career path that is not acceptable by my society?
Q. Hi all, I hope you can help me with a cultural question. Sorry if my English is not very good. I speak English at home but I grew up in a Southeast Asian country. In my country I am considered a banana. This means I am yellow on the outside...
A. 10 December 2020: I think this is a hard question to give advice on because we (you and I) have such different backgrounds culturally. I will try nevertheless.
First off, YOU have to live YOUR life. Not the life your parents think you should live or want you to l... (read in full...)
How do I stop feeling jealous of this situation at work?
Q. Hello all, So I’m currently working somewhere that I really like but my boss is someone I used to kind of date. Long story short, when I was 20 years old, I worked for a car dealership and he was the GM. I worked in another department so I ...
A. 10 December 2020: You didn't learn from the first time and your first series of questions?
You know.. to not mix work with pleasure? To look elsewhere for romance, NOT your work place?!
It makes you (and DEFINITELY HIM) seem SO unprofessional!
Stop "ducking" ... (read in full...)
How can I STILL be obsessing over a girl who I haven't seen in 3 years?
Q. Hi cupids! Here's one for you... I really, really liked this girl I used to work with. She was undoubtedly the most beautiful, funny, smart and articulate girl I'd ever met. Her eyes just made me melt whenever I gazed into them. She literally b...
A. 10 December 2020: I have to say it does come of as a bit creep and obsessive. Like, yikes!
You have put her up on this "perfect girl" pedestal for so long that you worship a figment of your imagination more than a girl you used to work with.
While it's go... (read in full...)
Am I being a mug? I think she over-spends on gifts at Christmas!
Q. Im not sure if I’m overreacting to the Xmas gifts. My gf and me don’t have much money yet she has spend her whole salary on Xmas gifts for family that do not care about her the rest of the year. I have not said anything. It’s her own money so she...
A. 10 December 2020: Also..
Forgot to mention. SHE can spend HER money as she wants. If she goes into debt over Christmas presents to her family, THAT is her choice and HER responsibility to pay off.
... (read in full...)
Am I being a mug? I think she over-spends on gifts at Christmas!
Q. Im not sure if I’m overreacting to the Xmas gifts. My gf and me don’t have much money yet she has spend her whole salary on Xmas gifts for family that do not care about her the rest of the year. I have not said anything. It’s her own money so she...
A. 10 December 2020: You ask... am I being a mug?
If you keep bailing her out every January? Yes.
It's not YOU responsibility to bail her out when she gets in debt. Especially for present to people who doesn't give a single F about her, or... you. I can see helpin... (read in full...)
Is it wrong to say I am straight?
Q. I am a man and I do not consider myself bi or gay but I do like an occassional get together with another man from time to time I like to give him oral nothing in return I prefer to give oral to a straight married man My question is is it wrong to ...
A. 7 December 2020: If a "straight man" likes to receive oral from ANOTHER man, he is not entirely straight either. Just saying.
You want to call yourself straight, then DO so! there is no law or authority that can TELL you what you can "label" yourself as!... (read in full...)
Dating a married woman now she suddenly becomes distant, what should I do?
Q. hi, been dating a married woman for a month, but chatted for few years before meeting, know everything about each other, even her husband her family and her husbands family kept hassling her and asking about me (because they keep seeing me ...
A. 7 December 2020: Oh OP!
Why on Earth are you wasting all this energy on a MARRIED woman?!
So this is the same woman you were talking about the other day, who wasn't responding because she was busy "being there" for her friend, right?
MAYBE this MARRIED wo... (read in full...)
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