Dating a married woman now she suddenly becomes distant, what should I do?
Q. hi, been dating a married woman for a month, but chatted for few years before meeting, know everything about each other, even her husband her family and her husbands family kept hassling her and asking about me (because they keep seeing me ...
A. 11 December 2020: Um, female anon...
He didn't mention in the first one that she was married so the answers are actually a little different, it's an important detail, and yes, I think we all saw it was the same poster...... (read in full...)
Dating a married woman now she suddenly becomes distant, what should I do?
Q. hi, been dating a married woman for a month, but chatted for few years before meeting, know everything about each other, even her husband her family and her husbands family kept hassling her and asking about me (because they keep seeing me ...
A. 7 December 2020: Oh OP!
Why on Earth are you wasting all this energy on a MARRIED woman?!
So this is the same woman you were talking about the other day, who wasn't responding because she was busy "being there" for her friend, right?
MAYBE this MARRIED wo... (read in full...)
Why do I think about her sometimes even though it was over 10 years ago.
Q. Hi all! I hope you are all keeping safe and staying healthy. Anyways... Just thinking about in my life. I've been through so much in life. Not just in crushes, but life in general. Just thinking about my high school crush over 10 years ago. She g...
A. 7 December 2020: I have to agree, I don't think it's totally normal to hold on to that crush 10 years alter.
And needing "closure"?
No, you don't. You don't NEED to know WHY she didn't PICK you when you had picked her. All you know is what you knew back then, ... (read in full...)
Is his behaviour is acceptable or controlling in anyway?
Q. Me and my boyfriend have been together for a few months and it has been good for the most part however we fight whenever I wear a shirt that is low cut, something that shows my bra (even the smallest amount) or a skirt, which I wear shorts under. I ...
A. 7 December 2020: It's a mixture of insecurity and controlling behavior. BUT... he is still young so perhaps he isn't quite getting the "HE HAS NO FRIGGING SAY IN YOUR CLOTHING CHOICES" memo yet.
I think it's common that teen boys think that if you dress (even th... (read in full...)
Is our relationship going to work if she can never trust me?
Q. My girlfriend keeps checking my phone on the sly, almost every other day. I've lost count of the amount of times I've caught her snooping and her looking all embarrassed about it. She says she can't help herself if I leave it lying around, which I ...
A. 6 December 2020: To male anonymous, the suggestion when I say "tell her to go through it" is because SHE already has. And she found nothing.
But she KEEPS looking "hoping to "not" (I hope) find anything at all.
So Telling her go ahead look, it will be a ONE... (read in full...)
She said she misses me more but has not responded to my last msg , what should I do?
Q. hi guys, been a long time since i posted here ! Just wanted some quick advice Been chatting to a girl online for about a year now, we finally met up a month ago and sparks flew, we were both a little bit shocked that we got along so wel...
A. 6 December 2020: Give her a little space.
Maybe she is more focused on "being there" for the friend than being in constant contact with you. Either because she KNOWS you are interested, and you TOLD her that you understand her priority right now is the friend, ... (read in full...)
I'm upset with myself for falling for a player who doesn't want to wear condoms
Q. Yesterday I slept with a guy I've been seeing for the first time. We were almost naked when I asked if he had a condom - I'm 33 and he's 27 - he said he doesn't ever use them. I demanded he out his clothes back on and we go buy some because there ...
A. 6 December 2020: So did you have unprotected sex with him too?
Even if he HAD brought a condom you are not 100% safe from STD's. But the likelihood of getting pregnant or an STD is a LOT LOT lower if using a condom.
Also, you COULD buy some to have at your pla... (read in full...)
I have zero trust in men after my past and need to know how to trust
Q. Hey Cupid’s, Want a bit of advice about how I can get better at trusting people in relationships. I’m 26 and have had three serious relationships in my life. All have them have surpassed a couple of years. I’m currently in one and I feel like I ha...
A. 5 December 2020: Let me start by asking you this, OP
BY you worrying and making up scary "what if" situations DOES that stop him from potentially DO something wrong?
No!
Because YOU have no control over HIS actions.
IF he chooses to CHEAT then THAT is a ... (read in full...)
I feel like I'm living with Mr. Perfect and its making the relationship hard to maintain
Q. Hello aunts and uncles. I’m after some advice regarding the way my boyfriend is with me. I don’t want to put words into anybody’s mouth so I will just state the facts and give some examples of some recent, and some ongoing situations. Firstly t...
A. 5 December 2020: 1. He can't remortgage without your consent. If you are both on the deed and the loan.
So if you DO NOT agree with that don't sign any papers on that!
However IT WAS your suggestion to do so!! "I have said that if it’s a problem just tak... (read in full...)
We are having a baby but I'm feeling left out
Q. Hi guys, I’ve been with my partner for 3 years and we are expecting a baby in March. My partner has 2 children (8 and 11 years) from her previous manage. The children keep on and on telling my partner how excited for their brother’s arrival, and how ...
A. 5 December 2020: I can understand why you feel left out. The kids aren't doing it on purpose but in general a pregnancy is ALL about the mom, not the dad. Because she is doing ALL the work with the carrying etc.
What you CAN do, is ask the kids for help in picki... (read in full...)
Is our relationship going to work if she can never trust me?
Q. My girlfriend keeps checking my phone on the sly, almost every other day. I've lost count of the amount of times I've caught her snooping and her looking all embarrassed about it. She says she can't help herself if I leave it lying around, which I ...
A. 5 December 2020: Tell her next time you catch her, tell her to GO ahead go through the WHOLE thing, and once she is done... you say OK what did you find?
If she found nothing, you tell her OK, I'm now putting a Password on it because you are intruding on MY priva... (read in full...)
Would I be selling myself out if I dated a girl who bullied me in school?
Q. A girl who used to bully me at school started messaging me out of the blue and has asked me out. She hasn’t apologised or even acknowledged what she did yet is being nice as pie to me now. I suppose it’s partly my fault because I’ve not brought...
A. 5 December 2020: Keep working on you, OP
If you didn't go to Uni, but WANT to find a way to do so, you ARE only 20. It's not like you are SO old that you can't do courses or take a degree!
Secondly. Bad bad headspace you are in. You think because she is H... (read in full...)
Wife of 25 years told me that she chose the wrong guy
Q. My wife and I have been married 25 years, together for 28 years. The relationship has not been good the last two years when have fought constantly (usually once per day and sometimes more). Part of it is I think her going through menopause ...
A. 5 December 2020: Honestly?
I think she is being dramatic. I don't think someone STAYS for 28 years with someone IF they know that person is JUST so wrong for them, IF THEY had the means and opportunity to leave at any point in that time. Which SHE did.
And w... (read in full...)
Sex once a month... no baby... lazy husband. What's he not telling me?
Q. My husband has 2 children to a previous woman and we are happily married with a little girl. We have been together 10 years and I really wanted another baby, but it hasn’t happened (we are both 40), Anyway, my husband has really hurt me. He does...
A. 4 December 2020: What is not telling you?
Who knows? We can't read his mind any more than you can.
But... It seems like HE didn't WANT any more kids. He still had ONE with you. Figuring you would "settle" for one child. He knows that a LOT of sex means chance... (read in full...)
How do you respond to a break up with a gay guy?
Q. Dear Aunties, Good evening from Nairobi Kenya. I had previously asked a question about this guy younger than me who we have been having an intimate relationship with. How do you respond to a break up with a gay guy? I am 36, he is 22. We have ...
A. 4 December 2020: I think you need to kick him out. He doesn't WANT a physical relationship with you because he doesn't WANT a gay relationship.
He isn't going to stop seeing women, wanting to BE with women and you can't MAKE a person WANT you or LOVE you.
... (read in full...)
He's more opposite and terrible in bed... help!
Q. I have been with my boyfriend for a little over a year now. Its obviously been a very weird year for everyone, and it's been very weird having a new relationship through this time. We get on pretty well, and I have very strong feelings for him.. So...
A. 4 December 2020: It's been a year, and while it has been a weird year for everyone, I think it has less to do with Covid and more to do with the fact that you two are JUST NOT a good fit.
You have found a LOT of "faults" most which are not realistic to expect t... (read in full...)
How can I make amends from 16 years ago? I bullied him because I was attracted to him
Q. When I was in high school, I was bisexual (I'm still am bisexual) but I was too scared to admit it. There was one classmate, a boy named Andrew, who I started being sexually attracted to. He could walk by and I would get erections. I eve...
A. 2 December 2020: I also agree that you CAN offer an apology but not try and make excuses.
The excuses (that you were sexually confused in high school and attracted to him) is not something you need to explain. It will probably NOT help, but make it worse.
... (read in full...)
My husband is taking out loans behind my back
Q. My husband and I have separate bank accounts. years ago we had a joint one and I think it was me who decided I didn't want one anymore with him anymore as we were going through a bad time, I had trust issues with him about dating sites I had found ...
A. 2 December 2020: Talk to the bank.
IF your name is still on the shared bank account and he is taking out loans they NEED to have your signature too. At least most banks would require this. I know ours does.
And tell your husband to not take out loans without ta... (read in full...)
How can I be 15 weeks pregnant when I calculate it at 13 weeks?
Q. Hi all, i am pregnant with my first child but with the current covid situation itd really hard to get the attention and questions answered by the docs and nurses. So I am hoping someone here is able to help. I just had my 13 week scan only to ...
A. 2 December 2020: Pregnancy is counted from the first day of the woman’s last period, not the date of conception which generally occurs two weeks later.
Which makes perfect sense. Your last period was 15 weeks ago, conception 13.
Also ASK your OB/GYN if you ha... (read in full...)
I need to know how to stop comparing myself to others
Q. What steps can one person make to stop comparing themselves to other people? I find can have total confidence when I’m on my own with my partner but as soon as we’re around other people I believe are better/more attractive than me I convince my...
A. 2 December 2020: You are not going to be the prettiest, smartest or most successful in EVERY situation. That is life and reality. Accept that. And BE you.
YOU are the one judging yourself and comparing, not your partner. He is probably more focused on having a... (read in full...)
Is it normal to fantasize my wife having sex with other guys?
Q. is it normal to fantasize my wife having sex with other guys?...
A. 2 December 2020: I agree with Code Warrior.
I don't know how common it is, but it's not good for a marriage if one partner has the notion that they want to watch their partner have sex with others.
Fantasy and reality are two VERY different things.
In yo... (read in full...)
How are others dealing with the anxiety caused from the pandemic?
Q. I know I am not the only one experiencing problem with this ongoing pandemic but I'm wondering if any of the wonderful aunts and uncles could give me some advice that perhaps I haven't tried or thought of? I am having such a hard time just trying...
A. 30 November 2020: From what I have read, taking some extra Vitamin D and Zink is also very good.
I have my kids and myself on a 2,000 vitamin D and a zink daily. Hubby is on a 3,000 daily vitamin D.
I stay away from the news in general. Because I don't want to ... (read in full...)
Should I stay in contact with these friends under these circumstances?
Q. Thank you for all who respond here. Always good responses on this site. Since the pandemic began I feel I have changed. I would think this is true for many. I think I am only realizing now that I would hear from friends primarily when they needed...
A. 30 November 2020: You are not wrong.
But you do come off as a "fair weather friend". Life isn't just positive and uplifting.
Part of being a friend is being a good listener. Though I absolutely GET that listening to the same negative shitstorm drama OVER and o... (read in full...)
Why doesn’t he seem to want to talk on the phone or meet up?
Q. Been talking to this guy for three weeks. Met on a dating app. He canceled our first meet up do to covid but says he wants to see me and we will meet soon. I told him I want to hear his voice but we have yet to talk on the phone and video chat. We ...
A. 30 November 2020: My guess?
He is older and more out of shape than he told you or perhaps rather that his PROFILE "hints" at. The pics on his profile are old. The ones he recently sent are "newer" but not necessarily new.
Not wanting to talk over the phone? ... (read in full...)
It gets me down that I'm the only one making the effort for the family
Q. I've been with my bf for about 5 years. I've been thinking back on our time and have realized a few things. First, we've never had a happy holiday season. 4 years ago, we were broken up. 3 years ago, we were fighting because his ex sent me msgs ...
A. 29 November 2020: Maybe not text or call him while HE is gone?
That way YOU can focus on YOU and the kids. IF he has anything to TALK to you about, GE can make the effort.
You ARE carrying your little family. No doubt about it. I think he is partially punish... (read in full...)
My family doesn't know about my biracial daughter
Q. When I was 20 years old, I was dating a black girl (I am white). We did have sex and she ended up pregnant. Due to different reasons, we agreed to put the baby up for adoption (open adoption). My ex-girlfriend stayed in contact with the family (the ...
A. 29 November 2020: What does her being biracial have to do with anything?
SHE is your daughter!
If you can't tell them that she is a bit more ethnically "diverse" than you and them, maybe they don't deserve to met her!
I think IF you don't make a big deal ou... (read in full...)
What does it mean that I'm thinking about this colleague?
Q. I have a co-worker who is flirty at work. I told him to stop as I'm in a relationship which he mostly has. But I still see him staring at times and he makes little jokes like "if you aren't texting me you shouldn't be on your phone". I laugh it...
A. 29 November 2020: You say:
"Me and my bf have been together for 6 years and I love him a lot and wouldn't dream of destroying our plans or hurting him."
So get your head out of your arse and let go of this pointless "crush".
Why do you think about being wi... (read in full...)
What's going through the head of this man when he responds strangely to me pointing out him being married?
Q. There is this man who works in the same building as I do. He is not a coworker but works in facilities. Not knowing be was married, we would sometimes flirt with each other. However, after 4 months, he recently slipped into conversation tha...
A. 28 November 2020: How about you just DECIDE that starting up anything remotely "romantic" WHERE you work is RARELY a good idea.
Even if you "crush" on this guy it doesn't mean you HAVE to act on it. You are OLD enough to know this is not a good idea, even if he is... (read in full...)
It gets me down that I'm the only one making the effort for the family
Q. I've been with my bf for about 5 years. I've been thinking back on our time and have realized a few things. First, we've never had a happy holiday season. 4 years ago, we were broken up. 3 years ago, we were fighting because his ex sent me msgs ...
A. 28 November 2020: Been there done that, except my husband was gone most of the holidays for work (Army) and I had no family nearby to help out, but some good friends, so it was mostly on me.
My kids had the best Christmases I could make. Planning a Christma... (read in full...)
How to say no to a friend?
Q. How to say no to a friend? My childhood friend wants to come for Christmas with his new bf. Due to the COVID pandemic, this is not OK with my husband and me. Otherwise we would be happy to have have them stay with us over the holidays. My ...
A. 28 November 2020: Personally, I would go the ". I have an autoimmune disorder and use immuno-suppressants and cannot risk having people at my home at this moment."
Because no one can "argue" with that. Most people would absolutely respect that too.
People will a... (read in full...)
Is it pointless for me to search for a partner?
Q. Long story short, I've lived in a toxic home my whole life for almost 3 decades, and after finally breaking away, I feel better than before. In a nutshell, living alone is the most amazing thing ever. I don't yearn for there to be anyone there by ...
A. 28 November 2020: I think you are putting the cart before the horse, OP
If you can't see yourself living with a spouse, you aren't ready for marriage.
Unless of course you find someone who WORKS away from home, travels a lot for work or have the same general ide... (read in full...)
How do I help my boyfriend improve his feelings of self-worth and convince him I'm not going to leave him
Q. I(24F) have been in a relationship with my boyfriend (23M) for three years and I absolutely love him to bits. We met whilst I was at university working in retail. I have now moved onto train to become an accountant whilst he still works there. ...
A. 26 November 2020: You can't.
I know that is not the answer you were hoping for, but the truth is, YOU can not convince him of anything HE doesn't WANT to believe.
What I would say when he bring up the "you deserve someone better/richer/wh... (read in full...)
What's going through the head of this man when he responds strangely to me pointing out him being married?
Q. There is this man who works in the same building as I do. He is not a coworker but works in facilities. Not knowing be was married, we would sometimes flirt with each other. However, after 4 months, he recently slipped into conversation tha...
A. 25 November 2020: Oh, he will cheat.
He wouldn't be fishing for your "feelings" about him or men in general if he wasn't thinking to prime you for a ONS, maybe a Christmas party fling. After which he is discard you or string you along.
The "you never know" is a... (read in full...)
I'm not sure how to handle my insecurity and paranoia about my boyfriend's social media account
Q. Here goes my insecure, slightly paranoid post. My boyfriend and I have been together nearly 2 years, we live together, have a puppy together and want to spend our lives together. However I keep getting caught up in things, mainly social media thi...
A. 25 November 2020: I think he knew that with his ex he posted a lot of fake stuff. Because he wasn't happy and he only posted stuff to try and keep her happy.
He doesn't want a repeat "performance" of his last relationship. He wants to keep his private life PRIVATE ... (read in full...)
I got intimate so fast and now I'm feeling badly about it
Q. I have been single for 6 months now and quite recently I decided to use a dating app just to see how I will get on, I'm not particually looking for anything too serious but if it happens it happens, anyway.. I matched with this guy and we have been ...
A. 24 November 2020: Honey, you "hooked up" with a guy who travels all over the country, that should have raised a red flag. The whole " a girl in every port" kind of thing.
Why do you think he uses this app? Because he can find willing women where ever he is!
S... (read in full...)
He dumped me for no reason and now won't talk to me. Help me fix it.
Q. We dated for 3 weeks. Everything was amazing. We spent a lot of time together and talked for 7 to 8 hours a day about everything. When we were together it was like we has known each other our entire lives. He told his family, friends and son about ...
A. 24 November 2020: I'm with Code Warrior.
BLOCK him on everything. This guy LOVE BOMBED you (look it up if you don't know what that is).
Understand that he DID NOT LOVE you. He loved the IDEA of being in love and having someone special. At least when it SUITED h... (read in full...)
When do I tell my boyfriend I’m pregnant
Q. When should I tell my boyfriend I am pregnant I’m a little over a month, and I just found out today I am not sure if to tell him already or if I should tell him on our two year anniversary, we’ve been trying for a few months now and I don’t know if ...
A. 24 November 2020: I would not do it on your anniversary. That is HIS and YOUR day.
Make the baby announcement day a day by itself.
Wrap him a pair of baby booties/socks or a onesie, he'll know :)
Congrats!
... (read in full...)
I'm feeling guilty for ending a relationship
Q. So I was in a relationship with someone until Friday. After thinking about everything between us I choose to end it after just under one year. I felt in a lot of ways wee weren't really compatible and tbh wee would be better as friends. I tried ex...
A. 24 November 2020: Block him too, it's just smart.
OP, you tried to do the whole pick a guy and MAKE him into the man YOU want. That isn't how life works.
People don't change because OTHERS want them to, they change because they want to and have to. One or the o... (read in full...)
Should I try to get away from my boring condescending male supervisor?
Q. This is regarding an academic relationship. I am a female masters student and my supervisor is male. There have been instances over the past 18 months where comments he has made have made me feel uncomfortable such as 'don't be a burden' and 'I hope ...
A. 23 November 2020: Call back to the representative and DEMAND to get a new supervisor. If you can't work with him you should ask for a new one. F his fragile ego.
You don't OWE him to CC him on emails. That doesn't sound right at all. You should be able to interact... (read in full...)
He's declaring his undying love for him even though I have expressed I don't feel the same. I don't want to lose him as a friend! What can I do?
Q. The guy i’m ‘seeing’ is overbearing with his declarations of love for me. It is unbelievable how much we have in common, and how alike we are. Hard to believe there is someone out there the same as me. He makes me very happy, and i’d dearly love to ...
A. 23 November 2020: It isn't a friendship if ONE of you want more and the other don't. THAT is NOT a friendship, so you are fooling yourself if you think by telling him "I only want friendship" and "I don't feel the same way" - will change his mind.
He has already ... (read in full...)
Am I able to be in a relationship right now?
Q. Hello. I have been in a relationship with a man for two months. He is a really lovely person. However, I am struggling in the relationship. I have complex post traumatic stress disorder due to things which happened during my childhood and teenage ...
A. 23 November 2020: If the relationship has you stressed to a point where you haver started to self-harm, I think you need to end it and make your FOCUS getting help and healthy.
He can't fix this for you and if he is NOT letting YOU take the lead in physical... (read in full...)
I have a boyfriend but can't help being intrigued by a Secret Admirer
Q. Cupids I need help! OK so about a month ago I got a random email from a man who claimed to have known me in the past, telling me that he 'had to get off his chest' that he really fancied me and was crazy about me and that even YEARS later sinc...
A. 23 November 2020: I can see how this is a NICE stroke to your ego, but this really isn't about you, it's about the sender.
WHAT was the point in telling you all this? "to get it off HIS chest" supposedly. Because what? Because it would make HIM feel better. ... (read in full...)
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